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Draco Malfoy: Toilet Supremo by who_la_hoop for birdsofshore
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
28 Sep 2014
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Summary
It must be a vision brought on by eating cheese sarnies too close to bedtime, Harry thinks. There's no way that Draco Malfoy can really be standing on his doorstep, calling himself a Toilet Supremo, and expecting Harry to buy not only this unlikeliest of scenarios, but also a new loo.
But no: Harry's eyes do not deceive him. Malfoy, Lord of Toilets, is really there. Which begs a very important question: what the hell is he up to, and what evil scheme is he about to unleash? Because there must be an evil scheme . . . mustn't there?
Career Choices: Harry: gentleman of leisure; Draco: toilet salesman.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,189
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 392
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- 3,303
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- 808
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Bookmarked by Tonofash
09 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Laugh out loud funny and sweet. Delicious writing and a wonderful reading by Cailynwrites ❤️
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Summary
The plan was the same as all of Draco’s previous missions. Head to the location, search for clues, collect the target, then let the galleons roll in.
What the plan didn't involve?
Getting stranded on an isolated island inhabited by someone who’s been missing from England for the past ten years. His former nemesis — the Boy Who Lived To Be A Moody Recluse.
Who Also Happens To Be Distractingly, Incredibly Fit.
Who Also Still Hates Draco's Guts.
It’s too bad Potter has the personality of a Blast-Ended Skrewt on a bad day, or that they likely won't make it a week before killing each other, because being stuck with nothing but Potter for company is starting to make Draco think of far more pleasurable things they could do to pass the time.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 31,585
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 266
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- 1,557
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- 422
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- 22,417
Bookmarked by Tonofash
06 Jul 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Shoutout to possessive werewolf Harry and the hilarious three-headed snake. Lovely!
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Summary
"How is it possible that neither of you thought to pay attention to the moon cycle?"
"It was cloudy," Harry said. "And we were drunk. We were very, very drunk."
"This just gets better," Hermione said. "How could you have been so stupid?"
"In my defence," Harry said, "I had no idea that I should have been paying attention to the moon cycle. I'm not going to lie, I didn't even know men could get pregnant. It's been like, one long life lesson all round."
Or: the one where Harry accidentally gets Draco pregnant, both of them fail to talk about their feelings, and in the end, there's a baby.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,122
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 214
- Kudos:
- 5,925
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- 1,403
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- 66,711
Bookmarked by Tonofash
28 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Devastatingly sad and truly gorgeous and melancholicly funny.
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Summary
"An adventure?" Billa Baggins, a respectable genteel hobbit of the Shire, shivered and tried to convince herself it was a shudder.
In which a perfectly proper not-so-young lady whistles her reputation down the wind and finds she really is her mother's daughter.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 90,447
- Chapters:
- 40/40
- Collections:
- 19
- Comments:
- 1,580
- Kudos:
- 10,079
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- 4,114
- Hits:
- 265,236
Bookmarked by Tonofash
26 Jun 2026
Bookmarker's Notes
Delightful 🔥 Reads like a Julie Garwood novel with a spirited, naive, quirky, and loyal Billa who adores her boys. Thorin pined like a whole forest.
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Summary
Events after 'The Great Game' leave Sherlock dependent on his best friend and colleague. But John has a secret of his own...
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 101,650
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 797
- Kudos:
- 4,810
- Bookmarks:
- 2,465
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- 209,714
Bookmarked by Tonofash
22 Jun 2026