1 - 20 of 26 Bookmarks by SpuffyFan
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 195,969
- Chapters:
- 21/21
- Comments:
- 7,513
- Kudos:
- 31,702
- Bookmarks:
- 12,570
- Hits:
- 1,933,012
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
07 Jun 2026
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Something Borrowed, Something Found by wehavediscussedit
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
11 Jul 2026
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Summary
“Right. Erm… Ron is getting married.”
Malfoy’s brows turned down once more with a puzzled look.
“I’ve heard. Although, I believe his owl must have lost my invitation during its trip,” he said sarcastically.
“And Harry and Ginny think you might want to come as my plus one,” she said, ignoring his comment. She had a plan set in her mind and she just needed to get it all out before she lost the nerve to do so.
Malfoy’s eyes widened but his confused expression did not waver.
“And why would that be?”
Hermione swallowed. “Because I may have told them we are dating.”
OR
After receiving an invitation to Ron’s two weeklong wedding celebration and having Harry and Ginny shove in her face how very much single and lonely she is, Hermione sees herself lying about her relationship status.
The issue is, she didn’t really think the lie through. And let out – accidentally – that her secret boyfriend is Draco Malfoy. She now must convince Malfoy to pretend to be her doting, loving boyfriend for the two-week event. What she doesn’t know, is that he doesn’t need much convincing.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 143,575
- Chapters:
- 14/17
- Comments:
- 445
- Kudos:
- 716
- Bookmarks:
- 395
- Hits:
- 31,842
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
09 May 2026
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Summary
What if the Deathly Hallows was done differently?
What if some of the bad guys were not so bad?
What if there was a lot more collaboration and communication?
What if Draco ends up on the run with the Golden Trio?Rules:
Please do not tell Rodolphus where Severus hides the good wine.
Please do not cast Muffliato spells around Phineas.
Please do not tell Draco he is about to go camping.Series
- Part 1 of Oops! I Joined The Good Guys Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 97,894
- Chapters:
- 25/25
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 2,583
- Kudos:
- 7,313
- Bookmarks:
- 3,248
- Hits:
- 299,184
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
20 Sep 2025
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Summary
Pansy decides to surprise Draco and shows up unannounced at the Manor, but she'll be the one surprised.
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
27 Jun 2025
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Summary
A collection of stories in which Hermione Granger is the master of her own sexual fantasies.
They're all different flavours for your reading pleasure.
- Words:
- 71,999
- Works:
- 16
- Bookmarks:
- 334
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
13 Mar 2025
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The Sacred Twenty-Eight is Dead by Forgive_Me_Severus
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
18 Feb 2026
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Summary
What happens when a writer: 1) is running on fumes and a cup of coffee that has long grown cold, 2) reads/writes Hermione-centric fics and ships her with like ten different people, 3) loves #allthetropes, especially marriage law, reverse harem, triads, and pregnancy fics?
🎶 These are a few of my favorite things 🎶
This, fellow fanfiction enthusiasts. This is what happens.
This is The Sacred Twenty-Eight is Dead - a part two continuation of Cantankerus Nott is Rolling in His Grave.
...or just another marriage law fic with no direction because I enjoy Hermione getting railed by four different men (quite probably - okay, more than likely - well, actually, she will be getting railed by AT LEAST two at the same time).
Series
- Part 2 of Cantankerus Nott is Dead
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
10 Oct 2024
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Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
30 Sep 2024
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Summary
Pansy Parkinson had a brilliant, but petty idea: Hermione should give Ron a taste of his own medicine— after quite the public break up Ron Weasley insists one parading whichever girl he deemed special enough for the night in front of Hermione— and frankly, Pansy had enough of Hermione’s moon eyes.
A petty arrangement is proposed between Hermione and Pansy’s best friend, Draco Malfoy. Hermione refuses at first, not wanting a relationship or a one night stand but when Pansy utters the words “Play Pretend,” followed afterwards by “he’s gay,” well, Hermione saw her chance to make Ron’s head pop off.
Only, things never go according to plan when Pansy is involved. Hermione should have known better.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 123,753
- Chapters:
- 25/?
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 1,559
- Kudos:
- 2,397
- Bookmarks:
- 907
- Hits:
- 110,836
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
08 May 2024
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Summary
Drunk Theo looks for a bedroom to sleep off his spins and finds something else in Blaise's home office.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,218
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 8
- Kudos:
- 473
- Bookmarks:
- 46
- Hits:
- 12,700
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
14 Oct 2023
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Tags
Summary
My take on the Soulmate Tattoos AU. I'll update relationships and tags as the story progresses. We may see interaction between other couples and maybe a little extra smut, but Hermione/ Draco is the focus of this fic.
Hope ya'll enjoy!Happy Birthday, Hermione!
*There will be darker themes than I intended originally as I'm writing this as I go.
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
20 Sep 2023
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Hermione, Luna, and Hannah- Magical Beings Collection by CateLovesDaddy
Fandom Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
20 Jun 2023
Summary
Creatures considered Magical/ Beings (Per the Harry Potter Wiki): Witches and Warlocks, Veelas, Muggles, Squibs, Giants, Goblins, Dark Goblins, Puckwudgies, House Elves, Vampires, Hags, And any 'Half' creatures (IE Half Giant).
Centaurs and Merpeople were offered the status, but refused it.
*Not all Beings appear in these fics. This is just a full list.
- Words:
- 5,431
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 3
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
08 Aug 2023
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Summary
Caitie (18) finds herself in weird territory with Dad and Grandpa.
Smut with little plot.
- Words:
- 8,218
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 13
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
08 Aug 2023
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Summary
Hermione goes to the Slytherin Common Room with Theo and his friends to prove a point...
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Hermione’s eyes darkened, she could take whatever they defined as heated. “Yes, Theo I’m sure.”Theo bit into her neck, sinking his teeth into her skin, causing her to whimper from the sting.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Princess.”
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“Anyone curious to see how many times we can make our little swot come in a row?” Everyone eagerly agreed with Draco’s question. “Tell me, Granger, how many?”
Series
- Part 1 of Heated
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,967
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 21
- Kudos:
- 1,282
- Bookmarks:
- 257
- Hits:
- 46,204
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
03 Aug 2023
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Summary
He could feel her clenching—Not good. Not good. Holy shit. Fuck— Is that, oh fuck, my wand!
Series
- Part 1 of Dramione One Shots
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
03 Aug 2023
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Tags
Summary
‘’What the f - Granger?!’’
‘’Malfoy!’’ She screeched as she hid her eyes from the sight of a very naked Draco Malfoy standing in the middle of her room.
‘’Get out of my room’’ they both said in unison.
When Harry Potter finally puts a knee down for none other than the last Weasley, the Malfoy heir, a colleague of the war hero, is invited to the wedding in an all-inclusive magical resort in Dominican Republic.
One administrative mishap later, and Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy are stuck together in the same room. For the whole week.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 43,874
- Chapters:
- 10/10
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 153
- Kudos:
- 1,512
- Bookmarks:
- 497
- Hits:
- 66,335
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
03 Aug 2023
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Summary
Hermione’s depraved daydreams about her co-worker Draco Malfoy are out of control. What she doesn't know is that he can see them too.
Inspired by the song I Can See You (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault) by Taylor Swift
Series
- Part 1 of Dramione (Taylor's Version)
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
14 Jul 2023
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Still Life by monsterleadmehome
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
04 Jun 2020
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Summary
He rucked her skirts up, hands running up the length of her thighs. She mentally cursed her decision to wear stockings today, but at least she had foregone knickers, as the stockings were full coverage. Her breaths came in heavy pants as Draco’s thumb brushed over her damp center. He drew a shuddered breath. “What—” he asked between kisses, “ —are we going to do about this?”
He had meant the situation—them—but she took it more literally. “Rip them.”
Hermione Granger is Minister for Magic and on the brink of divorce. When the Wizengamot suggests reinstating the office of Advisor to the Minister for Magic, it sounds like a good idea... When widower Draco Malfoy is offered a chance to work closely with the Minister, he gladly accepts.
Russian translation available here.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 65,232
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 12
- Comments:
- 797
- Kudos:
- 3,862
- Bookmarks:
- 1,673
- Hits:
- 182,021
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
01 Jun 2023
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Summary
‘The Ministry really have no choice but to enforce marriages on the population,’ said another source who is supposedly in favour of the law, ‘there is even discussion of an amendment to the proposed law which would make it a requirement of all currently unattached Muggle-borns and pureblooded wizards and witches to undergo fertility testing to assign the best matches.’
This was most likely just a scare tactic, encouraging people to marry now before they were forced to marry someone they didn’t choose later. Even if it wasn’t, the purebloods still had a strong enough hold on the Ministry that the law wouldn’t be passed. Right?
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5 years after the war Hermione finds out her life is falling apart by two articles published by The Daily Prophet. One with her boyfriend Ron Weasley kissing another witch, and another detailing a proposal for a new law to force Muggle-borns to wed into Pureblood families. Hermione is matched with the Malfoys, and it seems too cruel for it to be a coincidence.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 73,954
- Chapters:
- 23/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 1,092
- Kudos:
- 1,917
- Bookmarks:
- 529
- Hits:
- 61,288
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
02 Feb 2023
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Summary
Draco is pleasantly surprised he doesn't have to give up his swingers group now that he's dating Hermione. This series is focused on Dramione's exploration of sex and relationships through their swingers group.
8/2/2023- I've made some edits in some of the earlier works in this series. Just some corrections, clarifications, and rewriting some awful lines. Nothing huge has changed in plot.
- Words:
- 40,794
- Works:
- 8
- Bookmarks:
- 83
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
22 Jan 2023
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Summary
DO NOT POST ON WATTPAD I DO NOT GIVE PERMISSION!
Another eighth year fic where they get kinda drunk and shit happens.
This is really just a fantasy that I've been thinking about for a while and is a long exposition about Draco eating Hermione out in front of everyone.First fic ever so comments welcome but please be nice! Open ending so might add on.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 55,825
- Chapters:
- 5/?
- Collections:
- 10
- Comments:
- 401
- Kudos:
- 3,229
- Bookmarks:
- 814
- Hits:
- 194,950
Bookmarked by SpuffyFan
03 Dec 2022