Randomgaydude
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“Sit still, will you?” Robert chides, oil dripping from the metal tongs as he clicks them conversationally. “They’re almost done.”
Robert Robertson braces a casual hand on his hip as he flips the last sizzling disk of pepperoni cooking over Chad’s tits.
Chad, Flambae, reformed supervillain and currently being used as a cast iron skillet, bites back a strangled noise as the metal scrapes against sensitive skin; hot grease making it a smooth glide as his pecs glisten like they’ve been polished.
“This… is so fucking weird.” He breathes, the back of his head thumping against the countertop. “You’re a goddamn pervert, Bob Bob.”
“You can say that again.” Robert agrees easily, staring down at the man pliant beneath him with mock confusion. “But, remind me, who’s the pervert who agreed to do it with me on a Saturday afternoon?”
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Robert cooks and eats sausage off of Flambae boobs and I am definitely going to dog hell.
- Language:
- English
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- 5,379
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- 2/2
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Bookmarked by Randomgaydude
26 Jan 2026
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"You're out of your goddamn mind if you think there's ever a chance I'd help you destroy Piltover," Jayce snarls.
"No, Mr. Talis, we don't want to destroy Piltover," Viktor says doggedly. "We want independence. Freedom. We would very much prefer it didn’t come to violence. But Piltover insists on pressing its heel against our necks. We simply want the means to fight back equally.”
"Hah. You’ve got a way of twisting your words until they sound righteous.”
"It is merely the truth. But if it fails to persuade you, then I will have to resort to other means."
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Or: Viktor's a Chem Baron under Silco and mind fucks Jayce until he's willing to help. Like this is bad this is horrendous this is genuinely not for the faint of heart please fucking read the tags the title really does say it all
For Jayvik Kintober 2025 Day 9: Mind Control
Series
- Part 2 of Kantou's fucked fics
Bookmarked by Randomgaydude
01 Jul 2026
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where nothing bleeds by interstellarisms
Fandoms: Iron Lung (2026), Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
10 Apr 2026
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Simon didn’t expect his savior to be exactly his type.
What a welcome sight. Even if this stupidly handsome man ends up being evil, or working for the C.O.I, at least he’d die looking at something good.
or
Grace and Rocky find Simon's ship floating in deep space on their way to Erid.
UPDATE: This fic has been peer reviewed by a NASA engineer who has approved of the science!
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- English
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- 10/10
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Bookmarked by Randomgaydude
27 Jun 2026
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"Morning, team," Robert greeted and the line immediately went silent; the devil they had been speaking of had appeared. "Galen's birthday is tomorrow, so be sure to sign the card in Blazer's office before the end of the day. Yes, that photo is real and that's all that's gonna be said about it."
Unearthed from who knows where circa 1994, it was of Robbie Robertson, suited up and with his child in his arms - rosy cheeks, pigtails, a dress made from a Mecha Man print and sucking his thumb, for God’s sake; there probably wasn’t a more embarrassing picture of Robert out there.
Before anyone had the chance to speak, he then took an obnoxiously slow, loud sip of his coffee, which earned several displeased groans at the offensive noise in the team's ears. "There are bagels and a fresh pot of coffee in the break room, it's almost the weekend, and if I catch any of you even fucking thinking about it, you’re spending the rest of the day in mandatory discrimination training. Unpaid. Capiche?"
Bookmarked by Randomgaydude
27 Jun 2026
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"So. I somehow got shot into space, lost my memory, everyone else died, and this is what's going to haunt me?"
Grace gestured wildly with the sticker.
"My AO3 stats?!"
Series
- Part 5 of PHM fics
- Part 4 of work skin fics
- Language:
- English
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- 4,347
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Bookmarked by Randomgaydude
19 Jun 2026