Panzyqueen



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  1. Schitt's Creek (2)

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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “I. . . just, I don’t know. You’re so nice to me.” comes out of his mouth before he can think of anything else.

    Ilya’s head whips towards Shane with a small smile. “Nice? I am just nice to you, Hollander?”

    “Hey, that’s you too now, don't forget it.”

    “See. I marry you and you say that I am ‘nice’? Just nice?” he complains but he’s smiling all the while and Shane can’t look away as he turns back to the road.

    (ie. all comfort no hurt, shane is turned on by a compentency kink when ilya flexes in front of his parents and then has to do something about it)

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    24 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya rocks his hips up. “No, Hollander. Keep up. I want to meet your dildo.” He enjoys enunciating the word. Tries to give it a bit of a whiny Canadian inflection. “You remember? You told me about him, back in Vegas.”

    Hollander blushes beautifully and says, “That’s private.”

    “Hollander. I know the taste of your ball skin.”

    “That’s—Jesus, don’t say it like that. I can show you, but. Only if you promise not to be a dick.”

    “Best behaviour,” Ilya promises. “Will say only nice things.”

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    15 Jul 2026

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    Shane breathes in deep, a contented little sigh, and then pauses for another long time. Just slightly tensed, like he’s preparing himself for something, but Ilya doesn’t really have the chance to worry before he says, “I had…a good time tonight.”
    “Mm, was good night,” Ilya murmurs. Kisses hair, kisses eyebrow. “Nice dinner, nice weather.”
    “Yeah, it was nice,” Shane murmurs. He sighs, clears his throat. “Thank you for such a nice first date.”
    Ilya mouths first date to himself, mind running to figure out what that could mean in this context.
    Then Shane shifts and says, “I wasn’t sure what to expect when you asked me out.”
    Ah.

    Shane decides to play a game. Ilya is exactly where he wants to be.

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    07 Jul 2026

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    “Is disappointing, no?” Ilya hummed thoughtfully, dragging a thumb lightly over the slit. “To be so close to something you really, really want.”

    “Fuck you, Rozanov.”

    “Mm. You would like that. But no. Tonight is important lesson in humility.”

    "Big word there. Don’t hurt yourself.”

    "You played good game tonight, Hollander." He punctuated his words with a firm stroke, earning him a small groan that tumbled through Shane's lips before he could catch it. "Must have been too easy."

    "Oh, screw you-"

    "In here, it will be different." Shane opened his eyes to glance up at the other team captain, who sported a wicked grin on his face.

    "Tonight, I remind you what it's like to work for what you want."

    Ilya Rozanov does not like to lose, especially to Shane Hollander. And when the Montréal Metros crush the Boston Raiders in a humiliating 8-3 score, a certain team captain shows up at his door with a toothy grin and little too much pride in himself. So now, off the ice, it's Ilya's turn to show Shane just how fun it can be to settle a score.

    A.K.A my take on the "one goal for each inch that you want" texting scene, with a twist :p

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    16 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark 93

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    Even if there were a lot of things Shane didn’t understand about Rozanov and about their arrangement, he was at least sure of one thing: Rozanov was full of shit. No way in hell was he 9 inches.

    Shane thinks that the best course of action to figuring out Ilya’s actual dick size is to buy a bunch of dildos.

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    16 Jun 2026