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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    The Slytherins drag a heartbroken Hermione to an impromptu party in their shared eighth-year common room after Ron ends the relationship by Owl. The scheming snakes are determined to make her laugh again after the months she spent moping.

    And Draco Malfoy learns there's nothing he won't do to cheer the Golden Girl up, including making a fool of himself.

    ---

    Or, Theo takes a leaf out of Will Greyson's (The Devil's Night series) book and dances on top of a table while singing My Prerogative, then forces a somewhat reluctant blond to participate, half-naked.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,096
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    69
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    1,280
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    297
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    21 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    “You need to stop!” She finally managed to gasp after several thick swallows, once her pipes were cleared. 

    “Wh-” she didn’t let him question her as she slammed her fork down on the kitchen island. 

    “I- I know you’re not doing it on purpose, Malfoy, and it’s fine in the pub where it’s neutral territory- but we’re in your kitchen, and I can see your socks, and that’s very intimate, and how you’re acting- like- like you like me, it’s making me think things and- it’s confusing. Is this because I mentioned the thing about human contact and the milkman earlier?” She took a heaving breath and wished to all the gods she had just kept the chicken in her mouth. “Sorry,” she finally spoke after a tense silence, “I didn’t mean to shout.” 

    Draco Malfoy blinked at her for a solid minute. It looked as though he was picking over every word she’d vomited at him. “I do like you,” he finally said, in a very neutral tone. 

    -or-

    A funny little one-shot where Hermione is Autism Coded and Draco is Smitten.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,522
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    68
    Kudos:
    647
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    119
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    6,086

    21 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Draco has a bad day. Hermione helps cheer him up.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,460
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    3
    Comments:
    30
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    1,408
    Bookmarks:
    188
    Hits:
    49,889

    21 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Draco really does not want to be a 21-year-old virgin, but after years of serving a Dark Lord and then the subsequent punishment, he hasn’t really had the opportunity to lose it. Not to mention, he’s quite picky. So, what happens when the literal woman of his dreams offers to take care of the problem with no strings attached?

    Can he follow through or will he willingly turn into her puppet strings and all?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,983
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    1,133
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    195
    Hits:
    16,994

    21 Jul 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Hermione knows that any witch or wizard would be lucky to have Draco Malfoy as their trophy husband. He makes her strong, keeps her soft, keeps her full, keeps her on her toes, though he’d much prefer to keep her on her back.

    OR

    Hermione shows her appreciation for her trophy husband/very good birthday boy.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,026
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    730
    Bookmarks:
    108
    Hits:
    9,992

    06 Jul 2026