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r/offmychest
u/chris_skywalker • 57dmy (m13) dad’s best friend (m31) is dating an ugly old hag when he should be dating my dad (m33)
where do i even start omg…
⇧3.5k ⇩ 💭 783
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OR Christopher takes out his frustrations with Buck and Eddie on Reddit.
Series
- Part 1 of reddit fics <3
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,575
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 13
- Comments:
- 653
- Kudos:
- 12,480
- Bookmarks:
- 1,902
- Hits:
- 79,963
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
31 May 2026
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“Which do you think makes you feel most loved?”
Eddie thought for a long moment. Too long, maybe. Then he shrugged, “Honestly, Buck? I have no idea.”
Buck’s brows pinched up. “What do you mean? When have you felt the most loved?”
“Don’t make a big thing of this, Buck. Promise?”
Buck made a show of crossing his heart, brows still raised curiously.
“I’m not sure I’ve ever… really felt loved in a relationship? I’m not convinced that I know what makes me feel loved…”
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After finding out that Eddie doesn't know what his love language is, Buck sets about finding out for him. He begins a five week experiment, one for each love language, to figure out which will make Eddie feel the most loved.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,332
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 439
- Kudos:
- 13,187
- Bookmarks:
- 3,306
- Hits:
- 110,310
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
27 May 2026
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Really, Eddie doesn’t care that the PTA aren’t his biggest fan. He knows he misses too many meetings, and it’s not like he’s best friends with any of the other parents. It doesn’t affect Christopher, so it doesn’t bother him. He’ll pay for the annual fundraising mugs and consider his duty done.
But then Buck picks Christopher up from a class trip and it all goes to hell.
Like, of course Buck is everyone’s dream guy. He’s responsible with kids, and kind, and funny and interesting and hot to touch. That’s obvious. But now Eddie’s fighting to keep the PTA moms, teachers, and dads, all off an unsuspecting and tempting Buck.
Because Eddie is a good friend. Right?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 19,701
- Chapters:
- 4/4
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 606
- Kudos:
- 17,230
- Bookmarks:
- 3,977
- Hits:
- 170,842
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
26 May 2026
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A year after the nogitsune is defeated, Derek is living a quiet life in the mountains above a small town in Colorado.
Then Stiles shows up.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 25,025
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 708
- Kudos:
- 14,836
- Bookmarks:
- 4,772
- Hits:
- 164,967
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
25 May 2026
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“You and Derek text each other memes?” she sounds both surprised and delighted - but more surprised.
“Well,” Stiles says, “I send memes. Derek sent me a picture of a newspaper comic strip, once.”
Lydia says, “Oh my god.”
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OR the 5 times people point out that Stiles might be dating Derek + the 1 time Derek tells Stiles they're dating himself.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,850
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 6
- Comments:
- 180
- Kudos:
- 4,764
- Bookmarks:
- 659
- Hits:
- 40,806
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
16 May 2026
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Stiles finally gets the practical experience he's been looking for. It's safe to say it doesn't happen even remotely the way he was expecting. AKA, pretend boyfriends! With a twist!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 21,177
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 385
- Kudos:
- 7,322
- Bookmarks:
- 1,596
- Hits:
- 166,460
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
15 May 2026
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Five times Stiles doesn’t believe it when Derek shows him affection (because he’s spent too much time reading stupid things on the internet), and one time he finally listens.
(Or, the one where I laugh my way through fandom tropes.)
set after season 2, no spoilers for season 3
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,411
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 236
- Kudos:
- 7,123
- Bookmarks:
- 1,633
- Hits:
- 112,830
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
13 May 2026
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Why did things always go badly for Stiles when Derek Hale was involved? The guy wasn't even back in town for more than a few months before he was being bad-touched by random werewolves. And his day did not improve when Derek told him that he was now an Omega. Apparently you can't be possessed by millennia old chaos demons without them leaving you presents, like a working uterus and some ovaries.
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
13 May 2026
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We’re all shapeshifters. It happens rarely, and it happens for a reason. Sometimes the shape you take reflects the person that you are. – Derek Hale, Season 2 Episode 5
“I didn’t shoot him if that’s what you’re worried about,” said Stiles’ dad. Then he smiled wryly. “Though I did push him against the wall and threaten to strangle him with my bare hands.”
Stiles gaped at his dad, because Derek…was Derek. And the Stilinski men weren’t exactly buff. They were built more slender and agile, though Stiles was still waiting for the agile part to kick in.
Series
- Part 1 of The one where Stiles is a werefox
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 16,613
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 271
- Kudos:
- 6,975
- Bookmarks:
- 1,591
- Hits:
- 146,246
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
13 May 2026
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What if Derek’s money doesn’t come from the insurance from the fire? What if it’s royalties from sales of an adult toy? One that’s no longer in production?
What if Stiles had one and it was perfect and it broke?
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
12 May 2026
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If Stiles had had more than a second to think about it, he probably would have remembered that his spur of the moment ideas weren't always his best ones.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 12,892
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 256
- Kudos:
- 9,378
- Bookmarks:
- 1,965
- Hits:
- 162,526
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
12 May 2026
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Derek can't tell the truth. At all. It's funny until it isn't.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,729
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 196
- Kudos:
- 11,930
- Bookmarks:
- 2,022
- Hits:
- 141,326
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
11 May 2026
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Summer is supposed to be a vacation but Stiles hasn't had much time to relax with his best friend being a werewolf (and a lovesick puppy), and a new problem showing up in Beacon Hills right on schedule. But him and Scott can handle it with their werewolf frenemies. And Derek is almost a friend, or at least their werewolf guy. And Derek trusts Stiles so that's good. And Stiles being the only human Derek trusts doesn't mean anything. Does it?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 39,986
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 11
- Kudos:
- 133
- Bookmarks:
- 19
- Hits:
- 2,184
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
09 May 2026
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The Alpha looked confused and concerned all at the same time, so taking an educated guess, Stiles ventured a theory.
“Oh great. Let me guess… We’re lost aren’t we?”
Derek growled at the insult and continued to scan the trees, rocks and stumps around them.
“We’re not lost, Stiles. The landscape has… changed.”
“Changed?” Stiles repeated in disbelief, before intentionally wandering in front of the werewolf to block his view. “As in, the trees just grew legs and walked away?”
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Or, 5 times magic messed with Derek and Stiles, and the 1 time it got it right...Bookmarked by MaxKalm
03 May 2026
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Five Times the Sheriff Found Derek Hale in His Son's Bedroom by suzvoy
Fandoms: Teen Wolf (TV)
24 Sep 2012
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Summary
There's a pattern Sheriff Stilinski just can't ignore.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,525
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 371
- Kudos:
- 29,354
- Bookmarks:
- 4,838
- Hits:
- 339,791
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
03 May 2026
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Okay, so, kissing Stiles. That's a weird thing that Derek's doing now. He has no idea where it's even coming from, especially considering bickering and fighting is their usual state of existence.
And then he does find out where it's coming from: A curse that's making everyone in town kiss someone they have mutual feelings for.
…yeah, Derek's not even sure why he's surprised by that.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 23,169
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 4
- Comments:
- 155
- Kudos:
- 5,362
- Bookmarks:
- 1,131
- Hits:
- 58,122
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
03 May 2026
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Summary
"He's sixteen," Derek snarls. He has Chris bent over the hood of his car, his hand on the back of his neck. He digs his claws into Chris' neck, a reminder that he could rip this man's spine out at any moment.
"He wanted it," Chris says calmly, as if he's not pinned to his car. "We haven't done anything he doesn't want."
You're just like her, Derek thinks but does not say. He snarls again, animalistic and vicious, unable to speak at all.
"He touches me, I don't touch him," Chris continues, and fuck that excuse sounds familiar and vile.
Derek clings to his humanity, fighting back the shift. He says, "Stiles should be with someone -"
"Like you?" Chris says, smug as a snake. "Tell me, does Stiles like this jealous streak of yours?"
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In which Stiles uses other people to make Derek jealous.
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
12 Apr 2026
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Summary
Stiles' bedroom tells the whole story: scattered chip bags, empty cans of soda, the muted starting menu for a video game. Next to Stiles is an xbox controller.
Derek grits his teeth. Fucking brat. "Stiles," he barks out, taking a step forward. Stiles snorts in his sleep, but otherwise doesn't respond. Derek crosses the room and grabs Stiles' shoulder. He shakes the bratty fucker, and says, "Wake up, Stilinski."
Stiles' eyes snap open. "What the -" he starts, staring up at Derek with clear alarm. "Mr. Hale?"
"You're late," Derek growls out.
"So you break into my house?" Stiles scoots up the bed. He's the picture of teenage petulance, all pursed lips and narrowed eyes. "That's fucked up."
It is fucked up. Derek sidesteps that particular detail and says, "Get dressed. You're going to school."
"Pass," Stiles sneers. "I'm sick, can't you see?" He coughs into his hand a few times. "So feel free to let yourself out."
"You have no doctor's excuse, and you look fine. This is your third tardy this week. Get up, now."
Stiles lifts his chin defiantly. "Make me."
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In which Derek is an attendance officer at Beacon Hills High School and out of patience for Stiles' truancy.
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
12 Apr 2026
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"I'm not wearing a muzzle," Derek snaps.
"Look, if you wear this then we're golden! There's no way you can bite through this, Deaton said so."
"Oh well, if Deaton says," Derek says snidely. It's a silly argument. Sure, Deaton is shady and enjoys bending the truth on occasion, but unless it's a complex assassination plan he wouldn't lie about this. Something that Stiles knows that Derek is aware of.
"There's really no reason for him to lie," Stiles points out. "What's your real problem with it?"
"It's demeaning," Derek says through gritted teeth.
"What? No! Lots of werewolves have to wear one of these," Stiles says, waving the muzzle around. The leather and clasps jingle.
Derek sneers at him. "Wolves who can't control themselves."
"Pot and kettle, buddy. Wait, wait," Stiles says hurriedly when Derek turns to leave, "let's just... let's try it, okay? Come on, have I steered us wrong before?"
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In which Derek can't control himself while having sex with Stiles and needs to be muzzled.
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
12 Apr 2026
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"I'm a virgin," Stiles says because he has to. It must be known.
Derek lifts himself up, braced on his forearms in a sort of plank, so he can look down at Stiles. His face is still human and his eyes are the colour of pond-water. Stiles collects these details for later. When this is over, he can figure out the spell's intent. For now, all he knows is that the more they touch, the more human Derek remains.
"I know," Derek says, and it's not soft or kind. Just matter-of-fact. "I… I can't let you go."
"I know," Stiles echoes. "Um. Can you be…" he trails off when Derek looks away, eyes filled with shame. His first time won't be with someone he loves or gentle. Okay.
"I'm sorry," Derek says, still looking away. "The instinct is too strong. To chase you down, to bite." His hips grind down, punctuating his words. "If I don't - if we don't do this, then I'll - "
Fuck or die. Those are Stiles' options. Well then. What's that video game motto? Hesitation is defeat.
Bookmarked by MaxKalm
12 Apr 2026