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the old religion, humming in your veins by justhockey
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
22 Feb 2026
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Ilya feels like a zombie; he’s an approximation of something living.
He knows what this is, of course. He isn’t stupid. He was just a child when he watched the life bleed out of his mama, long before she stopped breathing. He watched her sweet smiles grow hollow, and her kind eyes fall blank. He felt her slipping through his fingertips like grains of sand in an hourglass; her time was up before Ilya had truly even realised that it was running out.
When he looks in the mirror, he sees her staring back at him: blond hair, and blue eyes, and an emptiness that kills.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 4,642
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 139
- Kudos:
- 2,272
- Bookmarks:
- 405
- Hits:
- 16,725
Bookmarked by Lonspring
12 May 2026
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forgive me if i jump at the rattle of your keys by justhockey
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
11 May 2026
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Ilya knew, right from the very moment he met Shane Hollander, that he would never be good enough for him. He’d seemed so…pristine, when they first met. Untouched. And Ilya knew his unclean hands would only dirty him up. He’s always been selfish, though; his father used to tell him that.
So it’s no surprise, really, that Shane has finally gotten tired of it. Of him, always needing more from Shane than he deserves - always begging for more than he has earned.
Ilya would leave himself, too, if he could.
(Or, five time Ilya thought Shane would leave, and one time he knew he wasn’t going anywhere.)
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,381
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 389
- Kudos:
- 8,425
- Bookmarks:
- 1,682
- Hits:
- 73,303
Bookmarked by Lonspring
12 May 2026
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sein Blut ist mein Blut by LucreceSayre
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
10 May 2026
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Summary
"All I want," Shane tells him, voice so low it's barely more than a whisper, "is to grow old and gray with you. You don’t get to take that away from me."
"What if I'm never fixed," Ilya protests. "I stay like that. Don’t get better."
"You will," and his lover makes it sound so simple, the truth of it may as well be woven into the very fabric of the universe. "Your life isn't your own anymore, Rozanov. If you want it back, you'll have to pry it out of my cold, dead hands, do you understand ?"
No, Ilya doesn't. But by God, does he want to.
--
or, Ilya has spent most of his life suffering at the hands of his brother and yeah, sure, that sucks. He won’t pretend otherwise. But it’s also just pain and at the end of the day, Ilya’s used to it. It’s fine. Honestly. All fine. Until one day, Shane introduces him to the somewhat revolutionary concept that it’s really fucking not.Series
- Part 1 of Cockroaches and Earthworms
Bookmarked by Lonspring
07 May 2026
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we've both been very brave by perchancetosleep
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid, Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
14 May 2026
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Summary
It is an unremarkable, dreary March morning in Ottawa when Ilya Rozanov’s life swiftly burns to ashes around him. Ilya had intended to spend the rare morning off of training sleeping off the lingering exhaustion from the seemingly endless stretch of away games as long as Anya would allow.
Instead, it is barely past six in the morning when armed agents pound on his front door.
(Or, a remix of the FanMail incident.)
completed fic, updates every thursday
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 30,721
- Chapters:
- 5/5
- Comments:
- 192
- Kudos:
- 2,034
- Bookmarks:
- 554
- Hits:
- 29,280
Bookmarked by Lonspring
03 May 2026
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Staring at the Sun by Nerve_Itch
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types
20 May 2026
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Summary
The first sound Ilya hears is a thin, discordant symphony of beeps and whirs. Something vibrating.
The next thing he hears is…wet. A sort of shaking, gargling sound, that feels like the ugliest crying he’s ever heard. And through it, Shane’s voice.
“I’m with him now, mom. He’s— he’s not fine. He’s not. I know—”
Ilya wants to ask who's not fine, but he can’t feel his own body, his mouth, enough to ask.
“Yeah,” Shane is saying, only slightly calmer. “I know. He wasn’t breathing—"
Ilya knows there's a link, between the clinical musicality of medical settings, Shane’s audible, awful distress, and his own physical incapacity. It’s just, it’s so tenuous, and the air around him is so thick, so heavy. It would be easy, to sleep, a little.
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Footage of the last game between Ottawa and Montreal is everywhere; it’s breached containment from the sports world, and now it seems like everyone is baying for Montreal’s blood. Except, Ilya is oblivious. Not exactly blissfully so, but as the fight for accountability within the league rages on without him, Ilya just wants someone, anyone, to tell him what happened.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 90,785
- Chapters:
- 12/12
- Comments:
- 1,789
- Kudos:
- 6,578
- Bookmarks:
- 2,497
- Hits:
- 164,985
Bookmarked by Lonspring
30 Apr 2026
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she would've loved you (like i do) by isabellarozanov, thisisloonacy
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
18 Jun 2026
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Summary
“Go home, please." Would Shane ever forget the hurt in Ilya’s voice when he asked Shane to please leave? The crack those words opened between them was palpable. Shane could feel the panic spreading through his body. How the hell would he fix this? Maybe he wouldn’t.
They had a plan, one that had once fallen over Ilya like the most devoted love he had ever known. That same plan, which had once made him feel claimed, now made him feel confined and he couldn’t explain it. Why the hell did he ask Shane to go to that fucking party? Why was he being so stupid? Why was he making himself so hard to love?
After the 'I already chose you' fight, Shane Hollander faces the fact that, while he was busy protecting their careers, Ilya was alone, losing himself - and decides to make his own manual on how to fix a lonely, breaking heart. If he wants to keep Ilya, he has to stop waiting for permission and start building a world where they can actually breathe.
Or:
The version where Shane and Ilya dive into their memories and feelings, face their demons - and Shane comes up with a plan to love Ilya the way he deserves.Or:
A well-kissed brick.Bookmarked by Lonspring
26 Apr 2026
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Caught by ShanesPomegranateSeed
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
25 May 2026
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Summary
Ilya's depression medication wasn't working. Again.
Ilya thought were only three options for him. If he was being completely objective, three options. He could continue on as is. He could die. Or he could confess his feelings and detonate a bomb onto his entire life.
Every day Ilya kept picking the first option. Sometimes he chose it multiple times a day. Multiple times a night. He would continue on. He would. He didn’t have any other choices. Unless he died like his mother.
Ilya was caught.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,050
- Chapters:
- 22/22
- Comments:
- 136
- Kudos:
- 635
- Bookmarks:
- 130
- Hits:
- 21,560
Bookmarked by Lonspring
21 Apr 2026
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Growing Sideways by BriefExhalation
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
08 Jul 2026
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Summary
“Is just the new routine, okay?” Ilya pleaded, his voice breaking. “The pills were working and now there is more stress so I just need to get used to it and will be fixed, okay?”
“How bad is it?”
“Shane, please.”
“Ilya, you promised no more secrets, no more hiding. How bad?”
He covered his face in his palms, his elbows resting on his knees, and took in a shuddered breath. “...bad.”
OR
After Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander get married, Ilya discovers that his depression won't magically disappear just because he finally has love and a real family. He gets to live and work with Shane full time now that they are on the Centaurs, but it's becomingly increasingly difficult to hide his deteriorating mental health from his husband. He's haunted by dreams of his mother and the fear that his depression and the hockey world's eruption about their relationship is ruining Shane's life. He has to swallow his pride and begin taking SSRIs, navigate the side effects of medicating his depression, and learn to accept love and support from those he loves most. Will the shame eat him alive or can he finally learn that he's worthy of love even at his lowest?
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 142,088
- Chapters:
- 26/29
- Comments:
- 819
- Kudos:
- 1,735
- Bookmarks:
- 738
- Hits:
- 88,308
Bookmarked by Lonspring
15 Apr 2026
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Summary
After their accidental public outing, engaged hockey players Ilya and Shane are finally free and happier than ever. That is, until Russia issues a warrant for Ilya’s arrest. Deported and detained, Ilya faces a horrific chain of events, pushing him to his breaking point. In the darkest hours, one thought drives him: survive long enough to see Shane again.
Bookmarked by Lonspring
04 Apr 2026
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Summary
Ilya hadn’t known the video existed. If he had known, he would have paid someone to have it destroyed. Would have paid someone to murder Kuznetsov, maybe, just for redundancy's sake. But it was peak stupidity, to keep evidence of your homosexual perversion around in a country where that crime could get you sent to jail for several decades, and Ilya hadn’t thought that Kuznetsov would be that dumb.
Now here Ilya was, watching a video of his fourteen-year-old self on Twitter getting fucked by his former hockey coach.
So. There go the plans for the rest of his life.
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Or: in 2018, during Ilya's last year with the Raiders, an old video is leaked on Twitter. Ilya reacts, or overreacts. Shane does, too.
Series
- Part 20 of my anonymous heated rivalry fic
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,773
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 815
- Kudos:
- 9,991
- Bookmarks:
- 2,181
- Hits:
- 96,273
Bookmarked by Lonspring
04 Apr 2026
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i was young and sweet, and then something happened by taetaeloving
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
29 Mar 2026
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Summary
The teasing tone of his voice should be enough to convince Shane he is okay. He's inconvenienced Shane enough, it was time to manage his problems on his own. He can mask whatever is going on with him today, deal with it, and be better tomorrow.
He just has to make it to tomorrow.
His husband, unfortunately, has other plans. "We actually finished early. I'm gonna come back today instead of two days from now. I have a flight in two hours, so I should be home by evening."
The panic hits Ilya almost instantly. Evening is too soon, he thinks, I'll still be like this by evening. Shane is going to deal with my mess again. He won't even have time to rest from his flight. I can't be seen like this. I can't do this to him. I can't let someone else deal with my problems. I can't let someone else come home to this.
I'm just like my mother.
Bookmarked by Lonspring
29 Mar 2026
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Everything to Lose by Deffo_Not_Me
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
29 May 2026
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Summary
Married, out, and still drowning, Ilya plays reckless hockey, carries old grief, and tells everyone he’s fine while getting dangerously close to proving he isn’t. But after a loss to Boston, alone in the middle of the night, he comes closer than ever to making a choice he can’t undo.
Shane loves him. But love, terrifyingly, might not be enough.
This fic takes place after 'The Long Game' so spoiler warning in case you haven't read that.
Series
- Part 1 of My Heated Rivalry fics
Bookmarked by Lonspring
28 Mar 2026
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silver spoons (and butter knives) by whokilledkat
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
02 Jun 2026
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Summary
Ilya wondered if his heart was still beating in his chest. Ilya spoke words to Galina that did not resonate with him. He spewed bullshit and half lies and assured, “No, no thoughts for a while. They’ve been going away,” even though they were the only thing that echoed through his mind with each beat of his pulse. Ilya was dying. Slowly. With every breath. Either that, or going insane. Probably, most likely, insane. But above all, Ilya was lonely, and could not take the silence anymore.
Ilya, 3:52 PM: This is the worst thing you have ever done to me, Shane Hollander.
He felt so pathetic. Begging on his hands and knees for love. He wondered what he had done in a past life to constantly be pleading to god for any kind of love.
Ilya Rozanov sustained a bad injury late last season that he just can't seem to shake. He feels himself start to slowly unravel, unable to face the fact that the one thing he has always been able to hold on to may not be his at all anymore. As his performance declines, his mental health begins to take a tumble with it.
Set after the long game, where Ilya needs therapy, is in denial, and at war with himself.
Title inspired from song Silver Spoon by Erin Lecount
Bookmarked by Lonspring
15 Mar 2026
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Protected Person by chinesebakery
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
21 Mar 2026
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Summary
Shane finds out on Twitter.
Not from a lawyer or a teammate or even one of the journalists who've been calling nonstop since the FanMail video went viral. He finds out at 6:47 am, still in bed, that Russia is coming for Ilya. Propaganda charges. Passport revocation. Return to the Russian Federation required.
What follows is weeks of watching everything fall apart. Ilya's career. Their safety. The system that was supposed to protect them. Shane keeps playing while Ilya can't. The lawyers file paperwork and say to wait. Montreal demands silence.
Shane faces a choice: keep his head down and trust the process, or burn down his career and force the world to pay attention.
He chooses fire.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 27,498
- Chapters:
- 7/7
- Comments:
- 946
- Kudos:
- 6,955
- Bookmarks:
- 1,964
- Hits:
- 75,141
Bookmarked by Lonspring
07 Mar 2026
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The Favourite Everything by khaleesiofalicante
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
05 Mar 2026
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Summary
“You are not broken, Ilya,” Terry says, sounding a little stern now. “I told you to keep an eye on the side effects. How long have you been experiencing this?”
“Since last night.”
“What?”
“Since last night,” Ilya repeats. “Or afternoon, technically.”
And Terry…Terry fucking laughs.
Ilya is going to die, and Shane will be sad forever and Terry fucking laughs.
“It hasn’t even been a day?” Terry clarifies, still chuckling. “Well, this could have nothing to do with the medication. It could just be an off day—”
“Off day?” Ilya repeats incredulously. “Have you seen my husband? There are no off days with an ass like that.”
OR: Ilya starts taking antidepressants only to realise it's fucking up his sex life. And, he acts totally very chill about it.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 22,436
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 737
- Kudos:
- 7,395
- Bookmarks:
- 1,829
- Hits:
- 66,495
Bookmarked by Lonspring
06 Mar 2026
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Shiver and Shake and Just In Case by StorytimeWithMoth
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
14 Feb 2026
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Summary
Oneshot where Ilya forgets his meds on the road and experiences SSRI withdrawal, but it’s all good because Shane always has his back.
He filled one of the thin paper cups with water and reached for his antidepressants. His fingers closed around the ibuprofen instead.
He frowned, scanning the counter. The amber prescription bottle wasn’t there. He checked the toiletry bag, then checked it again, more thoroughly this time—unzipping every pocket, pulling out the larger items. Nothing.
That was strange.
He would be fine…
Bookmarked by Lonspring
13 Feb 2026
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not okay ? by goldfishsyndrome
Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid
25 Dec 2025
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Summary
What if Ilya and Shane never had that fight on Boxing Day? What if he never told Shane how he felt about hiding their relationship?
an alternate(sadder) version of how that conversation in chapter 22 could have gone, set in the long game :(
Bookmarked by Lonspring
05 Feb 2026
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Summary
"He was alone.
It had been a bad week. A really bad week. Maybe it had been bad for a really long time.
He didn’t know.
All he knew was that he was finally alone."
Series
- Part 1 of Irina Rozanova haunts the narrative
Bookmarked by Lonspring
31 Jan 2026
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Summary
Robert couldn’t tell you exactly when he stopped talking. He could tell you why he did, though - two charges of attempted murder, a stint in prison, and the fact no one believed it wasn't him. Selective mutism, was what the prison doctor diagnosed, after a few sessions where Robert had sat there, silent, unable to bring himself to say anything. It can be a result of trauma – PTSD, the doctor had suggested. The only cure was time, and therapy.
- or, in the aftermath of John, Robert stops speaking. Aaron helps.
Bookmarked by Lonspring
19 Sep 2025
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After Elias Olsen tries to strangle Grace in the precinct, Grace lets Joe in a little bit. His offer to hold her a while back might not be the worst thing in the world.
Series
- Part 2 of To Be Held
Bookmarked by Lonspring
17 Jul 2025