KalansPhantom
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Edward Teach grew up in a house where weakness was punished, where safety didn't exist and trust was broken from the time he understood the monster his father was. He'd risen above it, grown stronger, found his footing as an adult, but the scars of the past remained as his own body rebelled against him. He doesn't go into heat. He doesn't show his tail and ears. He doesn't trust easily or deeply. And he's always been okay with that, never had an issue with his life...until he met Stede Bonnet.
The alpha swans into Ed's life by mistake after a failed attempt to humiliate him by a pair of assholes and Ed finds himself caught up in a whirlpool with an alpha that gleefully presents his ears and tail over a good cup of tea or a fine fabric. Who seems to love Ed even with his prickly distrust and broken pieces.
The problem is... Ed is pretty sure he's too fucking broken for someone like Stede, and he has no idea what to do with the instincts that begin to awaken.
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Stede Bonnet has spent his life in the shadow of his own failures. Being born an omega, his marriage to a beta instead of an alpha, his failure as a father to his pups. The only thing he's ever had going for him is coming from a pure-blood family and all the duties that came with it. It wasn't until he met a wolf-dog, the infamous Blackbeard, that he came into his own and realized that there could be more to himself than the failure he'd been living as. But on the cusp of finally coming into his own, old ghosts reared their heads sending him fleeing from the love of his life.
Edward Teach knew from the moment he was old enough to speak that having a wolf from a mother had damned him in the eyes of the civilized world. He'd accepted that until he met a retriever who smiled at him and told him he wore fine things well. Who made him laugh and brought light into his life. But the light went out and the old rage burned.
A rage that Ned Low was happy to take advantage of as Ed finds himself in the grip of the English, controlled by a madman and stripped, piece by piece, of his memories and sanity. All he remembers is once the sun had shown on him, but the sun's gone out, leaving only shadows and darkness.
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"But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness".
1 John 1:9
Edward Teach knows sin and guilt. He's got success and fame, a life that most would envy professionally, but his personal life is another matter entirely. He's shit at relationships, shit at finding happiness, in general, Ed's always been a bit shit. He knows he's floating through life, and eventually floats back into the same city he went to college. The same city he once crushed a sweet guy all for the sake of winning a bet.
And meets Father Stede Bonnet, a man who seems to see into his guilt-laden soul and offers to wash his sins clean.
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2016 and the Supreme Court ruling on same sex marriage is coming down. After 28 years of being together, Stede and Ed wait, holding their breath to see if they can finally make marriage a reality.
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- Part 16 of Twitfics/Skyfics
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Hard Disciplines: A Practical Study of Human Sexuality and Subcultures by CitrusSyndicate, KalansPhantom, Pastor_of_Muppets
Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)
12 May 2026
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Professor Stede Bonnet has spent his life studying anthropology with an emphasis in human sexuality, which he finds almost laughable when he spent years married to a woman before coming to terms with his own sexuality. After a divorce and the death of his father, he finds himself finally experiencing the freedom to find out what he truly enjoys. And if he's doing it with money funding his 'study' thanks to his boss, Nigel Badminton, all the better. He's spent too many years left behind, and he's done.
Edward Teach, also known as the notorious hacker Blackbeard, has settled down to teach at a local university in an attempt to switch up the monotony of his life. Instead, he finds himself just as bored until he comes across an insane Professor that apparently invites men in full leather fetish gear to his office and discusses the price of bulk lube with his TA. He's fucking fascinated and, for the first time in a long time, excited about every new day to see what the maniac will do next.
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Star Light, Star Bright by KalansPhantom, nocturneequuis
Fandom Our Flag Means Death (TV)
24 Nov 2025
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Dennis had been more than happy pretending to be a Beta. Patches were expensive, and he always felt bad when he slipped a few from the hospital supply. But the momentary guilt and a rash or two were a small price to pay to avoid being an anomaly among his peers. The fact that he got away with the deception for so long was a miracle in and of itself. It was only a matter of time before something like a massive patch recall managed to throw a giant wrench and an inconveniently timed flash heat in Dennis' life.
With nowhere to go and no idea what to do, Dennis was forced to accept Dr. Robby and Dr. Abbot's kind offer to wait out his heat in their spare room. And hope that the massive crush he had on the two Alphas didn't make a mess of everything.
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Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
19 Jul 2026
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Any registered nurse or physician found to be administering suppressant medication, or any medication that can be prescribed off-label to induce a suppressant effect, will be terminated immediately and subject to criminal proceedings.
Protecting Omega Fertility is Everyone's Responsibility. See Something, Say Something.
When you're one of only a third of the population who can bear children, and you want nothing less, there's little choice but to take the illegal drug, pose as a Beta for your entire life, and deal with the dysphoria, dysregulation and loneliness.
It's been working out just fine (not fine) for Whitaker so far. He just didn't count on the two Alphas who keep screwing each other in secret to take an interest.
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- English
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- 49/49
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Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
19 Jul 2026
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'There's a notification clogging up his screen.
Dennis Whitaker (R1): Hey, just wanted to check in with you after yesterday. It was intense. And also, that thing you were asking about? I feel like Trin kinda got in your head about it. Amy's really just a friend. She needs help on the farm, with a baby, and I'm pretty good at farmwork. That's all.
It's entirely too much justification for your boss.'
Robby finally makes it to his sabbatical.
Whitaker finds himself a little adrift without his boss around.
Jack is just trying to make sure the both of them are happy.
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Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
09 Jun 2026
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In which Dennis "I'm obviously just a beta with a really mild scent and a huge thing for Alphas" Whitaker is completely obsessed with his chief and the night shift attending, and it's all totally normal and completely ok and 100% Not A Problem.
So why is he so hot under the collar? And why is his mouth where his fangs would be so damn sore all of a sudden? And why is the whole room suddenly white hot and smelling like the most delicious thing he can imagine?
An unconventional love story.
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- English
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- 85,475
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Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
15 Mar 2026
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The island of snacks is a refuge for Stede. Island of Misfit Orgy-goers, he thinks to himself. He snatches a bottle of water, does as the sign says, and hydrates. He can hear music playing throughout the whole house, a sexy and sultry playlist that he quite enjoys. Over the sound of the music are the occasional moan or sound of slapped flesh and a whimper. Stede blinks, staring at the wall and taking in the sounds of the evening. Could he distinguish Mary’s voice from the rest? He wonders. He doesn’t think he can. He doesn’t know if he’s ever heard her in the throes of passion, come to think of it, and that thought slightly depresses him.
“First time?” a deep voice says across the island.
OR:
Stede and Mary attend their first queer poly play party, and Stede learns a lot about himself with the help of a delightful stranger.
Bookmarked by KalansPhantom
18 Feb 2026