Im_Not_Sure_How_This_Human_Works



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov has been drafted by Boston, the number one pick overall, but his father doesn't want him moving to America and so takes steps to block his visa. He's going to have to go back to Russia and stay there forever and that, thinks Shane Hollander, is wrong.

    It's so wrong that Shane can't stop himself from doing something about it. Even though that something is the most reckless, the only reckless thing he's ever done in his life. He marries Rozanov in secret, to keep him out of Russia and put him on a path to Canadian citizenship.

    Shane's got a five-year plan to get him there and when you have a plan nothing can go wrong. Right? Right. When you have a solid plan and a marriage that's on paper only there's no risk of feelings getting involved. Not on Rozanov's part and certainly not on Shane's.

    Right???

    (or, the story of how Shane Hollander fell in love with his own husband)

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    150,160
    Chapters:
    21/21
    Comments:
    6,329
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    19,938
    Bookmarks:
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    19 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    When he was seven years old, Shane Hollander was briefly lost at an airport. Luckily, the kindness of a stranger ensured he made it back to his parents safely, putting an end to a terrifying three hours for the Hollanders. It takes twenty years (and one heated rivalry) for Shane to learn the name of his rescuer. It takes twenty years for Ilya to learn his wish had already come true.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,296
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    21
    Comments:
    1,471
    Kudos:
    29,711
    Bookmarks:
    6,858
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    158,126

    05 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    January 15, 2017
    For immediate release.
    (English version)

    The Montréal Metros are devastated to announce the unexpected and tragic passing of our beloved captain, Shane Hollander, at the age of 25.

    -

    or, a canon-divergent au in which shane and rose never met, in epistolary format.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    10,791
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    906
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    8,306
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    1,470
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    66,298

    04 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    Shane Hollander invents Total Power Exchange out of his own beautiful mind. He and Ilya figure out what it means for Shane to belong to him completely.

    Words:
    76,899
    Works:
    10
    Bookmarks:
    257

    31 May 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    10/10 no notes

  5. Public Bookmark 46

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    In the weeks leading up to Shane and Ilya’s wedding, Svetlana realizes a crucial guest is missing. What she originally believes to be a poorly timed trip to Russia actually turns into a rescue mission of sorts. Ilya can’t go back “Home” but, lucky for the both of them, Svetlana can.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,061
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    330
    Bookmarks:
    46
    Hits:
    1,908

    22 May 2026