IAmTurdle



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    “Am I a bad friend?”

    Hayden has always been the guy Shane joked with, the guy he trusted to feed him without mocking him, the guy he roomed with on the road, and Shane is the only man who has ever seen Hayden cry, and Hayden loves Shane. He fucking loves him. They are like brothers, and they have been for almost ten fucking years. He’s always been Shane’s guy, Shane’s best friend.

    Except all along, maybe that wasn’t true. Ilya Rozanov, apparently, had been the guy. Before Hayden had ever met Shane, Ilya Rozanov had been there. And Hayden had never even noticed.

    Shane is all over every inch of Hayden’s life. Hayden thought that was reciprocal.
    +++
    “You know I think about you all the time,
    And my deep misunderstanding of your life,
    And how bad it must have been for you back then,
    And how hard it was to keep it all inside.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    9,071
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    787
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    12,049
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    18 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    A (slightly AU) series of socmed/group chat fics following Shane, Ilya, and the Centaurs from the Hollanov outing through Shane’s first season with Ottawa

    These are technically all interconnected, and will include references to past events within this universe, but can absolutely be read as standalones

    Words:
    21,741
    Works:
    4
    Bookmarks:
    2,363

    11 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    A series of social media/epistolary fic exploring the world Shane and Ilya live in post The Long Game. Written before Unrivaled!

    Words:
    16,697
    Works:
    7
    Bookmarks:
    5,090

    05 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    When the long game falls apart, Shane and Ilya need a new plan.

    I recommend reading the series in order it was posted, even though the second fic is a prequel to the first one.

    Words:
    62,939
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    2,283

    23 May 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Shane Hollander is a man who thrives on structure, routine, the solid ground of a ten-year plan. Ilya likes that about him, likes the embracing squeeze of having a life organized in tandem with Shane.

    No one would call Ilya a man who thrives on structure. But it’s there, if not in his DNA then in the patterns of his brain. A call-and-response of: they do this, I do that.

    When Ilya’s life is flayed open for the world to dissect, how will they push-and-pull their way back towards what was once a well-organized life?


    “I thought we could go through the schedules and figure out what days we’ll be in the same cities this season, or when either of us have a couple of days off in a row. Maybe make a shared calendar, so we c—”

    “A sex calendar? Your parents are arriving in thirty minutes, and you are proposing making a sex calendar?” Oh, this was delicious. He’d be able to eat out on this for years, if Shane was willing to give him that long.

    “It’s not a sex calendar! It’s just … when we might be able to see each other,” he finished, already sounding defeated.

    “And what are you planning on doing when we are seeing each other? Not fucking?”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    47,947
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Collections:
    14
    Comments:
    4,206
    Kudos:
    13,060
    Bookmarks:
    5,260
    Hits:
    235,891

    01 May 2026