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“How about this,” Erling said as he finally came to a stop in whatever room he was pacing around. “If you win on Saturday, you can pin me down and have your filthy way with me. And if I win — ”
“You won’t win.”Jude and Erling make a gentleman’s bet.
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
24 Jul 2026
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“Your expression is looking real grim for a winner,” Erling says, crossing his arms over his chest and leaning against the doorframe with his lips tugged into a small smile. For someone who was just defeated on the pitch, his tired eyes are glimmering too brightly with amusement as he looks at Jude.
Jude sucks in a deep breath.
Then, shakily, as if it costs all of his courage, he says, “… You’re leaving.”
England defeats Norway in the quarterfinals. And, well, whoever said it was smart to leave your heart on the pitch?
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Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
24 Jul 2026
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Jude is minding his own business and honestly doing just fine when the notification pops up on his phone, mid-tournament.
Series
- Part 1 of I'll Hold on to You
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
22 Jul 2026
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Google, how do I tell my former teammate that I've seen the tweets about him being an omega and I'm really confused?
Or—an iMessage style fic about the joys of the general public discussing rpf.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,386
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 69
- Kudos:
- 1,026
- Bookmarks:
- 105
- Hits:
- 4,576
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
21 Jul 2026
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We're Back where we Started, and Baby, I Don't want to Leave by falleraatje
Fandoms: Men's Football RPF
12 Jul 2026
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They were always friends first, fuckbuddies second. Two young players trying to make it, fooling around on the pitch, but not off it – until it became a necessity. Nobody has ever asked Erling how he made it through his ruts during his time in Dortmund, and nobody but Jude will ever know. Just like nobody but him knew back then how Jude looked, flushed from heat, spread out under him and begging Erling to take him apart.
They haven't been friends in a while, not really. They barely see each other twice a year on the off-chance of their teams playing each other. They haven't been… anything else even longer. And still, it feels oh-so-familiar when Erling catches his first whiff of Jude’s scent in the tunnel before the game.
There is a sweetness in it, which can only mean one thing - that Jude is about to go into heat.
Series
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
21 Jul 2026
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Jude Bellingham's heat was always going to come around the quarter finals and he was always going to play through it with a mouthful of suppressant and God's will. No the real issue is that he was never going to have to play against his own mate. That's the real issue. ; or,
Jude's heat gets out of hand because Haaland's in the same city, and because he's an international athlete, it has to be discussed in actual meetings.
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
21 Jul 2026
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In the five days between beating Mexico and facing Norway in the World Cup quarter-finals, Jude Bellingham is supposed to be recovering, practicing, and studying how to stop Erling Haaland.
Instead, they're texting.
Series
- Part 1 of Haalingham Collection
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,162
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 213
- Kudos:
- 2,026
- Bookmarks:
- 357
- Hits:
- 17,632
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
16 Jul 2026
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Erling Haaland is not nervous about Brazil.
No, what's much more nerve-wracking is seeing Jude Bellingham standing in front of him, shy and uncertain, and so unfairly gorgeous.
Series
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
13 Jul 2026
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A Roast Chicken Is A Roast Chicken by zorza (borealis) for AgnesFitch
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
25 Jun 2026
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To settle his debt owed to the apothecary and to help pay for new armor and weapons after being taken into Radzig's service, Henry takes on some work at the bathhouse as a bath hand.
One day, his services are requested by the local lordling, and the brat of a nobleman has paid for everything the bathhouse has to offer.
Hans quickly finds out first hand that Henry doesn't back down from a challenge.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,709
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 34
- Kudos:
- 113
- Bookmarks:
- 21
- Hits:
- 912
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
01 Jul 2026
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An Arse Man by StarQuesting for Nerdybirdnerd
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
25 Jun 2026
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“don’t worry. I’ve no interest in your hairy arse!”
in which Hans descends into madness (i.e. becomes increasingly desperate to touch Henry’s hairy arse in every sinful way he can think of).
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,478
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 30
- Kudos:
- 121
- Bookmarks:
- 21
- Hits:
- 1,042
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
01 Jul 2026
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Aim, Fire, Shoot Me Right by gloriousdisco for Hawkie
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
25 Jun 2026
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He flattened his hand against the full expanse of Henry’s throat, felt him flinch beneath the touch. The bulb of his Adam’s apple dipped as his breath began to quicken, Hans could feel each exhalation like the press of a fist to his palm.
“…Some girls can take me all the way to here, you know?” He eventually said.
Henry only shivered in response.
—
or: sometimes boasting about bathmaids can lead to an adventure down your best friend’s throat
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 7,952
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 52
- Kudos:
- 159
- Bookmarks:
- 23
- Hits:
- 924
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
27 Jun 2026
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Would. by zorza (borealis) for PinkCherryBlossoms, Tayushka (taitai_laozu), AgnesFitch
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
06 May 2026
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There is something weird on the shore that Henry doesn’t register properly at first, taking it for the reflection of the moonlight on the flowing waters. But reflections don’t move like this—swishy and quick, and they definitely don’t make splashing noises.
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Henry encounters a pretty creature and starts thinking with his other head.
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
07 May 2026
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Cow-Eyed by theharellan for I_NEED_DOPAMINE
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
24 Apr 2026
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"What are you doing here?" he asks. The first words Hans has spoken all day, he realises. And he's saying them to a cow.
In the Trosky woods, Hans finds a friend.
Series
- Part 3 of dearer than worldly honour
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
25 Apr 2026
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Henry wasn’t a coward. But alone, without his weapon or armour, he felt so exposed. If a stray alpha or a roaming bandit pack crossed his path, he couldn’t say for certain he’d survive the encounter—especially if they caught him unprepared. That worry—that fear—clung to him. It was all still so new.
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
08 Apr 2026
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The Itch by zorza (borealis) for Nerdybirdnerd
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
06 Apr 2026
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Sometimes Henry gets that itch.
Thankfully, he has someone who can take care of it.
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
06 Apr 2026
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Hans pulls at Henry's heart when he asks about what peasant children get up to. They're grown men, definitely too sober to be indulging in the whimsy of boyhood, but Hans--for once--is actually pleasant to be around, and Henry is feeling sentimental.
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
06 Apr 2026
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Hans grabs his bicep, fingers digging into the flesh the way he might test a fruit for ripeness. Henry curls his forearm and makes a fist beneath the water, squeezing tight. He watches Hans' face: the flushed redness of heat and strong drink, the shock as his fingers meet firm resistance.
Hans slides his palm over the wet fabric, pressing hard, testing the edges of the muscle. Henry feels like a horse skittish about being shoed, restrained from bolting only by a strong grip on the bridle.
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In the bathhouse, Hans and Henry find out how they measure up against each other.
Series
- Part 5 of Hansry fics
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 13,807
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 144
- Kudos:
- 1,218
- Bookmarks:
- 157
- Hits:
- 15,770
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
05 Apr 2026
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A Well Oiled Broomstick by finchybiird, Hallow_fiend
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
03 Apr 2026
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“Pretty birdie…” He coos breathlessly, eyes flitting about the crown of Hans’s head as if seeing the flowers there.
He looks...drunk. And as much as Hans would like to owe that to his own skills he doubts a few cheeky pumps from two fingers would have Henry seeing the pearly gates.
"Henrryyyy," He coos. "What do poppy and henbane do precisely?"
After dealing with the witches of Uzhitz, Henry forgets to empty his bag before he goes hunting with his lord and lover.
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
04 Apr 2026
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Devils Den, Missouri by ravioli_parmesan
Fandoms: Kingdom Come: Deliverance (Video Games)
31 Mar 2026
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A hot summer night in the Devils Den, Warsaw, Missouri, leads bus bitch Henry to have a little kiss with Hans on his break.
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
31 Mar 2026
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Henry has a very nice dream.
Bookmarked by GrumpyAsFuck
27 Mar 2026