EscapetheCircle



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    Ilya's hand continues its path up and down Shane's back, and Shane thinks again about how love is sometimes just this: a palm on the spine, moving in circles, waiting for you to come back to yourself. There is no promise of saving you—Ilya cannot save him, they both know this and are alright with it in their own ways—but there is a vow of staying, lingering in order to witness. Touching the bruise so that its pain triggers the memory that you are allowed to be touched.

    Outside, the snow continues its work of erasure. Inside, Shane's breathing begins to even out, every limb recalling how to be a man at rest rather than an animal fawning and freezing. The trembling subsides, wave by wave, as if Ilya's hand is smoothing it out of him.

    "Sleep, зайчик," Ilya says softly, his free hand coming to rest in Shane's hair. "I have you."

    This is not true, Shane thinks, and it is also the only true thing.

     

    recovery, shane learns, is not a straight line. to begin to understand something, you must first name it.

    Series
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    05 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Beautiful 10/10

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    Shane’s preferences are simple: older, rougher, married men who lie to their wives and gone before morning.

    Ilya Rozanov is nineteen, Russian, and already moving into his dorm.

    Cue in covert hookups, stupidly questionable life choices, and a rookie who stares at Shane like he’s a particularly fascinating bug under a microscope.

    Now he has to explain why he keeps getting texts from "Mr. Chicago" while trying to teach this kid how to use the campus laundry without melting his sweaters.

    Campus life promised new experiences. It failed to mention the experience of being psychologically dissected over instant ramen by a stupidly handsome blond Russian who hasn't blinked in seven minutes.


    This fic is finished! You can binge-read it now 😁

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    28 May 2026

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    Ilya hurts Shane.

    It’s an accident, of course, but his mind goes to the only place it knows how afterwards: He deserves to hurt too.

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    19 May 2026

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    Ilya knows there is a thing about himself he has to always keep hidden in the deepest recesses of his body, behind his molars and in his core. He thinks Shane Hollander might be the same, except the thing about him he cannot hide.

    Ilya Rozanov is the biggest hockey talent of his generation. So is Shane Hollander.

    But over the years Ilya notices that the vicious media and the clamouring fans and some of his more foul-mouthed teammates treat Hollander differently than any other hockey player.

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    15 May 2026

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    Hayden: Jackie is very jealous of your manny.
    Hayden: Says he’s incredible and that a bunch of the school moms are trying to get play dates with Violet.

    Shane: He is great.
    Shane: Kind of a menace, too, but Violet loves him, so I overlook some things.

    Hayden: Oh, I’m sure.
    Hayden: She also said he’s super hot.
    Hayden: Like he missed his calling as a model hot.

    Shane: Geez, Hayd. You want to marry him or something?

    Hayden: NO.
    Hayden: I just thought maybe for you, ya know?
    Hayden: You haven’t dated anyone like…ever.

    Shane: I’m not going to get involved with my daughter’s manny.
    Shane: That would be irresponsible.
    Shane: Even if he is stupid model hot.
    Shane: And obnoxiously charming and funny.
    Shane: Plus, he cooks, and has the best accent.
    Shane: And is amazing with my daughter.
    Shane: God. Fuck my life.

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    09 May 2026