Enemy_king



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    After Shane films an obscenely slutty advertisement for a sports drink company, the whole goddamn world decides he’s their new favorite sex symbol. Ilya reacts perfectly normally to this latest development.

    Or, 5 times Ilya is consumed with jealousy over his own fucking boyfriend + 1 time Shane shows him who he really belongs to.

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    24 Jun 2026

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    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): i keep thinking this is some sort of insane dream
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): but no. we got SHANE HOLLANDER.
    Like a Record Baby (Will LaPointe): because of HOMOPHOBIA!
    Sherlock Holmes (Carter Holmberg): rare homophobia win
    Shane Hollander: Well let’s not go that far.
    El Capitan (Ilya Rozanov): holmberg please refrain from being pro homophobia in the group chat or shane will report you to management

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told through a number of increasingly unhinged texts

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    24 Jun 2026

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    ESPN: Shane Hollander To the Ottawa Centaurs after Tumultuous End to Montreal Metros Career

    @CentaursGirlie1995: obviously i feel very badly for shane but my beautiful failson of a team getting the two best players because of homophobia is perhaps the only good thing homophobia has ever done

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told by everyone else in the world.

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    23 Jun 2026

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    “I do not want to make you uncomfortable. With how I talk about us. To others. Like . . . reporters. Or how I treat you in front of others, like the guys on the team.”

    Something like understanding settled on Shane’s face now, and it immediately made Ilya’s heart stop racing. “You think I don’t like PDA.”

    “First time I held your hand in public I thought you were going to have a panic attack,” Ilya admitted.

    --

    Or: Shane's first season on the Ottawa Centaurs, as told through five times Ilya initiated PDA (and one time Shane did).

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    22 Jun 2026

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    “What is there to talk about?”

    “What’s there to talk about?!” Hollander scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re playing for my fucking team!”

    “I know.”

    “Why did you have to go and get traded?! You realise we’re going to have to see each other every day from now on, and play together, and-”

    “Yes,” Ilya interrupted. He didn’t want to know how long Hollander’s list was. “I know.”

    Hollander took a deep breath. “Okay, listen,” he said. “Just so we’re clear - we don’t know each other outside of playing against each other, right?”

    “Right.”

    “And we can’t- can’t hook up anymore.”

    ~

    OR: Ilya gets traded to Montreal in October 2014. He's lonely, and angry, and he misses Boston. He doesn't know if it helps that Hollander is there or not.

    title from Buckle by Florence and the Machine

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    21 Jun 2026

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