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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Inspired by the “Twilight” Muggle films (don’t ask), Hermione Granger makes an unexpected discovery: a type of Native American magic that can remove the Dark Mark. One problem: she needs Draco Malfoy to prove her theory.

    Draco, however, seems intent on proving something else…

    Between perceptive gemstone magic, one very narrow bed, and feelings neither of them asked for, nothing goes as intended.

    Removing the Dark Mark was the plan; falling for Draco Malfoy was not.

    All thanks to Jacob Black.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    56,934
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Comments:
    99
    Kudos:
    142
    Bookmarks:
    134
    Hits:
    6,124

    30 Apr 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    **COMPLETE**
    ————
    Draco Malfoy, Theodore Nott, Pansy Parkinson, and Blaise Zabini are simply trying to navigate life in a post-War Wizarding London. But something ancient hums beneath their skin, binding them together in ways they could never imagine.

    And then there's Hermione Granger and her preposterous Alien research.
    And the werewolves.
    And that pesky little prophecy.

    As a hidden past collides with the present, they'll soon discover that destiny isn’t bound by pure blood or birthright. It’s forged in true love. In the bonds of friendship. In found and chosen family and the sacrifices they make to protect it. 

    Everyone is keeping secrets. But who is…The Secret Keeper.

    Come for Dramione, 
    Stay for the Slytherins.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    114,711
    Chapters:
    42/42
    Collections:
    6
    Comments:
    226
    Kudos:
    598
    Bookmarks:
    468
    Hits:
    36,169

    13 Apr 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Draco Malfoy is not, necessarily, a good guy. Maybe he could have been, once, but he chose differently. Some (everyone) might say he chose wrong.

    After years in Azkaban and an extended house arrest sentence, he is released unto a world that somehow has only gotten worse while he was away… and rather than fix it, he falls right into step.

    Or does he?

     

    The Devil Works Hard

    or: How Draco Malfoy Finally Did The Right Thing (And Really Shouldn’t He Be Called The Chosen One?) You’re Welcome, World

    or: Who Needs Love Letters When Instead You Can Write Hate Notes - Draco Malfoy’s Guide to True Love

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    330,721
    Chapters:
    34/34
    Collections:
    4
    Comments:
    2,978
    Kudos:
    2,956
    Bookmarks:
    1,593
    Hits:
    207,091

    31 Jan 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    On the 31st of October, an eleven-year-old girl will bring about the end of the world. According to prophecy, anyway, and everyone knows those are infallible.

    Fortunately, the world has unlikely heroes in the form of Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy, who've selflessly agreed to put aside their mutual hatred and long-standing prank war in order to find the girl and stop the apocalypse. If only they could be certain they have the right child…

    For fans of Terry Pratchett and dramatic irony, a comedy of errors about two people so stubbornly in denial, Fate itself decides to step in.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    116,391
    Chapters:
    14/14
    Collections:
    13
    Comments:
    1,772
    Kudos:
    3,750
    Bookmarks:
    2,512
    Hits:
    210,434

    23 Jan 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    In the middle of a war, Hermione is stuck in the middle of nowhere.
    With Draco Malfoy.
    Without her friends, her magic, or her books, she has only her wits to rely on to survive her plight- to say nothing of her company. They've declared a truce, but somehow Draco keeps slipping past all her defences.

    Stranded together in the wilderness, Hermione and Draco are in for cold nights, endless snark, bad wine, and some interesting scars.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    39,811
    Chapters:
    10/10
    Collections:
    37
    Comments:
    1,507
    Kudos:
    16,261
    Bookmarks:
    4,942
    Hits:
    345,732

    12 Sep 2025

  6. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    As she looked around her living room - at the green velvet ottoman she didn't remember purchasing, the 14th century Wizarding texts on her bookshelf, the hideous and obnoxiously ostentatious grandfather clock that could only belong to a Malfoy - she pictured the toothbrush next to hers on her bathroom counter, the old Slytherin quidditch jersey she regularly tripped over in her bedroom, and the mint chocolate chip ice cream in her freezer - a flavour she abhorred, but that a particular, pale, pointy faced aristocrat sat across from her had a tragic fondness for. 

     

    Her chest burning, as if she drank a barrel of bubotuber pus, Hermione turned to him with narrowed, accusing eyes. "Malfoy...are we dating?" 

     

    If there's one thing Hermione Granger knows, it's that she simply doesn't have time to date. Draco decides to date her, anyway.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    106,117
    Chapters:
    12/12
    Collections:
    57
    Comments:
    1,889
    Kudos:
    13,801
    Bookmarks:
    6,198
    Hits:
    590,281

    07 Sep 2025

  7. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Draco looked miserably at the low ceilings and stone walls of what were apparently going to be his living quarters at Hogwarts. The rooms were minuscule. He made one last effort. “I understand that living in the castle is a tradition here, but professors at Beauxbatons—”

    Granger glared at him, arms crossed and hip cocked. In her sensible heels, she was exactly his height, yet they did not see eye to eye. “Let me guess, Professor Malfoy: you skied down to the campus every morning from your mansion above the clouds? And a dozen elf-made croissants awaited you in an office the size of a ballroom?”

    “Oh, you’ve been, then?”

    “This is your suite. Happy housewarming. Goodbye.” She whirled away, heels clicking on the stone floor.

    Draco was left grumbling to no one, a state he found himself in after nearly every interaction with the Director of Hogwarts.

    In which Draco Malfoy obtains his dream job at Hogwarts, and Hermione Granger obtains a Problem.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,694
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    138
    Kudos:
    616
    Bookmarks:
    153
    Hits:
    7,726

    31 Aug 2025

  8. Public Bookmark 11

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    Summary

    “You’re not capable of murder.”
    (She really hoped he wouldn’t hurt her.)
    “Try me,” he sneered. Empty threat.
    She arched an eyebrow. “Want to bet?”
    Then she reached out, touched his chest.
    “Break my arm, then.” As she’d guessed,
    He didn’t. “Granger, you are sick.”
    Yet she felt his heart beat quick.

    A story in verse about Hermione's tenderness and daring, Draco's cowardice and courage, and how the tide of war can be turned by a single impulsive action.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,416
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    27
    Kudos:
    100
    Bookmarks:
    11
    Hits:
    869

    28 Aug 2025

  9. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    It's the match of the season - Slytherin vs Gryffindor. Nothing is stopping Draco Malfoy from catching that Golden Snitch.

    Nothing, except for Hermione Granger taking a bludger to the chest.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,765
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    16
    Comments:
    178
    Kudos:
    8,379
    Bookmarks:
    1,595
    Hits:
    105,951

    20 Aug 2025

  10. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Welcome to a somewhat serious inquiry into the whereabouts of a very sneaky witch.

    Hermione Granger (badass Auror working for MACUSA) has been summoned back to Britain by Kingsley Shacklebolt to help with an investigation. Of course, Hermione agrees; working with Harry again is going to be so much fun… only, it turns out that Harry is unavailable, and unfortunately, she gets stuck with Draco Malfoy.

    Warnings:
    - Hold onto your gold; there is a Niffler in this story.
    - Draco Malfoy reserves the right to cast Aguamentis at hair he deems offensive.
    - Whatever is said in the Cave of Plunderous Intent, stays in the Cave of Plunderous Intent.
    - Approach any wine provided by the Icelandic Legend Erla with extreme caution.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    160,702
    Chapters:
    26/26
    Collections:
    10
    Comments:
    1,937
    Kudos:
    5,109
    Bookmarks:
    2,237
    Hits:
    263,749

    14 Aug 2025

  11. Public Bookmark 61

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    Summary

    “Have I seen you here before? You look familiar.”

    “That’s funny,” Hermione said in a tone that implied the opposite. “Perhaps we’ve met. My name is…” Long sigh as she recalled the codename she’d been assigned. “Jane Moneysickle.”

    “I’m Union,” said Malfoy, grinning. “James Union.”

    She rolled her eyes. Malfoy remained far too pleased with himself. Whoever had shown him the 007 movies was going to get a terse memo on Monday.

    “Let’s get a drink,” he suggested, as though that weren’t part of the plan he’d hatched a week prior.

    Hermione and Malfoy are on a stakeout.

    Things do not go as planned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,953
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    47
    Kudos:
    455
    Bookmarks:
    61
    Hits:
    4,303

    23 Jul 2025

  12. Public Bookmark 190

    Mystery Work

    Part of Unrevealed
    Summary

    This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!

    21 Jul 2025

  13. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Hermione gains an unwanted assistant for her self-defense class and gets more than she bargained for. Come for the bickering and banter, stay for Draco's forearms and Hermione's library obsession.

    “Look, Potter,” Draco said, “I either get the month off work, or I have to quit. My family responsibilities come first.”

    With a sigh that turned into an exasperated groan, Head Auror Harry tapped his quill thoughtfully. Then his green eyes narrowed with a sly look.

    “I’ll approve it, Malfoy,” he said, “on one condition.”

    “I’m not sure you’re in a position to—”

    “Until May, you’ll be aiding Senior Undersecretary Granger with her self-defense classes.”

    Draco and Hermione gasped in horror simultaneously.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,966
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    99
    Kudos:
    838
    Bookmarks:
    171
    Hits:
    10,981

    21 Jul 2025

  14. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    In her figure drawing class, Hermione is paired with the last person she expected: Draco Malfoy, who is still imprisoned.

    He pointed the end of his pencil at her. How are you? he said.

    “Fine,” she replied. “You?”

    The corner of his mouth pulled up. Then he drew something quickly in his sketchbook—a spiky building on a rocky island in the middle of the sea. Azkaban. He gave a hearty thumbs up.

    She covered her face, embarrassed. Peeking through her fingers, she saw that he was laughing, of all things.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,941
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    95
    Kudos:
    1,065
    Bookmarks:
    222
    Hits:
    7,393

    17 Jul 2025

  15. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    Hermione arrived at Hogwarts eager for a new start as a researcher in residence. She was taking a leave of absence from both her job and her personal life, and she would be making the most of it. Until, one July morning, she was on her way into the library when she noticed there was another person in the reading room. She stopped mid-step and stared at the back of the person’s head. The white-blond hair—it couldn’t be—?

    In which Hermione and Malfoy get up to no good in the Restricted Section as they solve a riddle with mysterious origins.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    70,778
    Chapters:
    23/23
    Comments:
    261
    Kudos:
    655
    Bookmarks:
    202
    Hits:
    17,304

    15 Jul 2025

  16. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    On Friday, Clint comes back to the tower from an op in Cairo.

    He eats two tuna sandwiches. After that, he takes a shower.

    Then, since he doesn’t have anything better to do, he finally decides to do something about the strange dick in his pants.

    Okay, yeah. That sounds bad.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,228
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    213
    Kudos:
    821
    Bookmarks:
    115
    Hits:
    7,026

    05 Jul 2025

  17. Public Bookmark 1467

    Mystery Work

    Part of Unrevealed
    Summary

    This is part of an ongoing challenge and will be revealed soon!

    25 Jun 2025

  18. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    The owl squeezed itself through the rusting bars of his Azkaban cell and flew to the ground, hooting in triumph and waddling around on the dusty floor. Draco grasped the owl gently in his fist to still it, then withdrew the letter from the mail bag.

    His heart thudded. Who was contacting him? His mother? Pansy? Not one of the Death Eaters, surely?

    Then he unrolled the page and let out a disbelieving huff.

    It was a fucking survey.

    Well. They wanted a response? He’d give them one.

    • On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 4 (very), how clean are Azkaban’s facilities? — Fuck you
    • On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 4 (very), how humane has your treatment been at Azkaban? — Fuck this
    • Any additional comments? — Fuck off

    P.S. Your owl is insane

    In which a well-meaning researcher, Hermione Granger, runs a study without realizing who Participant 1 is.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    18,082
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Comments:
    374
    Kudos:
    1,949
    Bookmarks:
    410
    Hits:
    22,610

    05 Jun 2025

  19. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    It’s 2008 and Draco Malfoy is a secret assassin. It's legitimate - he gets paid for it, and some higher ups in the Ministry (probably?) know he’s out there… killing people. He’s quite good, but that tracks with his dubious accounting of rights and wrongs and his penchant for self-preservation. During his downtime he does a great job of acting like a pureblood in penance... mostly by drinking and shagging his way into oblivion.

    This double life helps to numb Draco to the constant feelings of shame and guilt from his formative years in which he was an utter cunt- but everything is upended when his team (assassins can have coworkers, alright?) dies in action and he does not. Suspended and forced to go to therapy, Draco is adrift.

    When Hermione Granger re-enters the fray, their hateful relationship that was once fraught with swotty bickering (erm, and the occasional slur) is suddenly tense in a very different way.

    How will these two come together? How often will Theo say something terribly charming? Do we hate Ron or is Ron just, meh? Oh, and what’s going on with that one murderous witch who’s out to kill them all (forgot to mention that part…)?

    Find out all this and more in: A HARD ROW TO HOE!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    250,248
    Chapters:
    30/30
    Collections:
    11
    Comments:
    2,919
    Kudos:
    7,272
    Bookmarks:
    4,293
    Hits:
    514,652

    26 May 2025

  20. Public Bookmark *

    Tags
    Summary

    He can't leave the room. Her room. And it's all the Order's fault. Confined to a small space with only the Mudblood for company, something's going to give. Maybe his sanity. Maybe not. "There," she spat. "Now your Blood's filthy too!" DM/HG. PostHBP. Now complete with the epilogue.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    264,105
    Chapters:
    49/49
    Comments:
    2,204
    Kudos:
    23,723
    Bookmarks:
    11,277
    Hits:
    1,899,981

    07 May 2025

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