Bloody_hell_man
Fandoms
- South Park (1)
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Summary
Eric loves food. Hes always loved it! But up until recently, hes began to realise how others use that fact to control him and if theres one thing eric hates, its being controlled. Especially whilst hes so unaware of it. To fix this issue? He had to get rid of his love for the item they controlled him with.
He had to get rid of his obsession with food.
Hopefully it wont get out of hand..
Recent bookmarks
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Summary
“I think as long as you're not being an asshole, I’d rather just fuck you instead,” Kyle’s lips brush against Cartman’s as he says this, a flush spreading with the heat that travels down his chest.
“I can be nice,” Cartman answers.
“Yeah?”
“I can be so fucking nice,” He stresses.
(UPDATE: 12/4/25 - This is currently being rewritten a chapter at a time until I'm no longer embarrassed)
Series
- Part 1 of OMERTA
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 35,935
- Chapters:
- 11/11
- Comments:
- 177
- Kudos:
- 1,558
- Bookmarks:
- 247
- Hits:
- 34,970
Bookmarked by Bloody_hell_man
12 Jul 2026
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Summary
Kyle had always had Eric Cartman’s best interests at heart, even if his methods were a bit unorthodox.
Sometimes sabotage is a love language all its own.
TLDR: Cartman starts losing weight, Kyle cannot allow it because people might actually like Cartman now
Bookmarked by Bloody_hell_man
08 Jul 2026
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Summary
After a strange encounter, Kyle ends up a vampire and, through a twist of fate, he finds himself in an unusual symbiotic relationship with Cartman. It's unsustainable, though, and Kyle is forced to accept the fact that he'll need to regularly kill to survive. Cartman has a plan, however, and the two of them form an unlikely duo and, together, they hunt down and kill deviants such as pedophiles, sexual predators, and neo-Nazis.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 99,898
- Chapters:
- 32/32
- Comments:
- 518
- Kudos:
- 3,488
- Bookmarks:
- 498
- Hits:
- 92,568
Bookmarked by Bloody_hell_man
21 Jun 2026
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Summary
Kyle sure as hell didn't know this, but guess what happens when your lifelong frenemy almost dies right in front of you?
You end up spilling your guts to him and start going out together. Whoops.
It's new and like, SUPER weird for the both of them. But Kyle really, really wants to make it work, even if Cartman's perception of what constitutes a healthy relationship is completely fucked.
Series
- Part 1 of i'm with stupid
Bookmarked by Bloody_hell_man
10 Jun 2026
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Summary
The stream was fairly tame, nothing much had been going on. She had been sitting at about fifty viewers. Her voice was a cute, high-pitched one, and her giggles were just a sweet melody in Kyle’s ears. She wasn’t playing a game, just chatting with her viewers, answering questions, and reading donations. She would always say the username when she read donations, giggling cutely with her dainty hand covering her face.
God, Kyle wanted her to notice him.
Kyle Broflovski's life is perfectly fine. Friends at college, a good GPA, rich parents, and a secret obsession with a v-tuber whom he moderates for. He hasn't had much reason to complain.
That is, until he has to work on a semester-long project with Eric Cartman, the obnoxious friend-of-a-friend that sits next to him in his Anatomy & Physiology class.
But who knows, maybe they have more in common than what meets the eye.
Bookmarked by Bloody_hell_man
31 May 2026