Baxill
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Recent works
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What is grief if not love, persevering? by Baxill
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
04 May 2026
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“I just thought it was nothing, just a little discomfort. Could it be something serious?”
The doctor looked at him, baffled.
“Headaches and stomach pains for that long isn’t just a ‘little discomfort’, let alone passing out. Let’s hope it is just a form of the flu, but I have to make sure it’s nothing serious. And I can’t help but notice that you have missed your last few preventive medical checkups.”
Alhaitham's mouth fell open.
“What? Kaveh, I reminded you. You said you were going.”
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Kaveh gets sick. Really sick. After being married for five years and finally having Kaveh's debt under control, the couple had hoped to move on from the past grievance and start a family together. Instead, Alhaitham has to come to terms with watching Kaveh die and Kaveh in return has to deal with his concern about how the grief for his husband will change the scribe after he is gone. Hopefully, Alhaitham will learn in time to control his misdirected anger and fulfil his vow to be there for Kaveh. In sickness and in health.
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Everywhere I look I see traces of you by Baxill for depthsofshell (mountain_goats)
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
09 Sep 2024
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In a perfect world, Alhaitham had known that something was so very wrong when he opened that door and found nothing but the silence he wished for. Instead, he let out a relieved sigh, tossing his key into a bowl and his coat in the general direction of the coat rack. When he let himself sink into the divan, groaning from the surges of pain troubling him from the many bruises he gained during his overthrowing of the government and kicking his boots off his sore feet, he couldn’t help but think how lucky it was that Kaveh didn’t come home yet.
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When Kaveh doesn't come home from his work trip, Alhaitham tries to deny his concern about the architect. Surely, the blonde just got sidetracked on the way or stopped at one of his friend's house for a visit. There is no reason to panic or to search for him anywhere the scribe could think of, especially since Alhaitham's feelings for him were gone after their fight so many moons ago. But that is exactly what he is doing, chasing after a man he swears he doesn't even like. Maybe the scribe is not as good at hiding his true intentions as he thinks he is.
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If you were to ask someone: “Could the acting Grand Sage, Alhaitham, be depressed?” all you would get as an answer is a huff.
“That guy? Depressed? Since when can an ice cube be depressed? He doesn’t have any feelings. How would that even work?”
Alhaitham has maintained the image of a cold and rational being so carefully that it was almost impossible to look behind the mask and see the truth. Only he knew that he was barely holding on.___
"You can't survive on books alone", Kaveh always told him. Alhaitham finally understands the meaning of these words, but it is already too late. His loneliness has carved his insides out and left him hollow. The severity of his depression goes unnoticed by everyone, including the scribe until it is too late to recover. Kaveh will be proven right once more. Alhaitham won't survive this.
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He should have stayed in bed. He knew it. When he woke up today in the morning, he knew it. As he finally slipped off the shackles of the uneasy sleep he had been burdened with, the gaping hole in his heart, ripped in there by so many things from his past, was hurting like an infected wound. Even though Kaveh felt its presence since his life fell apart many years ago, he mostly managed to ignore it. Sometimes, even when he gets a soothing hug from Alhaitham or he has a particular fun night out with Cyno and Tighnari, he even forgets it. But not today.
Recent bookmarks
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Much like it does the earth, when Withering consumes a person, it comes quickly and without remorse.
Kaveh has seen it once, in his mother. How she crumbled under the weight of her husband's death, shrouded in her grief and unable to live as she once did.
He sees it in Alhaitham now.
Bookmarked by Baxill
25 May 2026
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"Do you want to have sex with me?"
Alhaitham was never interested in sex. But he was always interested in Kaveh. And just like that, Alhaitham, the man who always prouds himself of being rational and contemplative, the man who thinks before he acts, answered the question without thinking:
"Yes."
Bookmarked by Baxill
21 May 2026
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When darkness came for them it was a creeping thing. It came in inches, in stolen smiles and chatter.
Bookmarked by Baxill
10 May 2026
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Based on the song Agnes by Glass Animals
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Yuuri had just moved into the apartment building, one night a trip to the roof leads to a chance meeting and a relationship that changef his life, if only they had more time.Bookmarked by Baxill
09 May 2026
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on a scale from one to zero: are you happy? by JMonCheri
Fandoms: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
17 Apr 2017
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Viktor is a sad comedian (with a soulmark) who falls head over heels in love with death (who doesn't have one)
(Soulmate AU)
Bookmarked by Baxill
15 Feb 2026