1 - 20 of 371 Bookmarks by AnonymousContrivance
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Prologue
“Her name was Delores. We were together for over thirty years.”
“Thirty years?” Klaus repeats incredulously. “Wow.” He draws the word out into a laugh. Their love lives could not be more different. “The longest I’ve ever been with someone was… I don’t know, three weeks? And that’s only because I was so tired of looking for a place to sleep.”
Klaus allows the memories to drift hazily, and surprises himself by feeling almost melancholy. What must it be like, to be with the same person for so long? Who could possibly stand to be around him for that length of time?
“He did make the most fantastic osso buco, though.”
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
22 Jun 2026
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“You know, I think the Séance was a bad name for me, in retrospect.” Klaus bends his head to the side, and his neck lets out a loud crack in release. “They should have called me the Cockroach.”
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 26,867
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 82
- Kudos:
- 1,766
- Bookmarks:
- 493
- Hits:
- 17,181
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
22 Jun 2026
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“I see you’ve finally ditched the ugly uniform,” Klaus says despite Five’s intense warning look, but he really can’t take his brother seriously right now—Luther's large shirt makes him look so young that it’s almost weird. It’s like he’s getting a glimpse of their brother before he ran away all those years ago. “About damn time, Allison and I were getting concerned you would never get rid of that atrocious outfit.”
“The “atrocious outfit” is in the dryer,” Five growls, and Klaus might’ve pinched his brother’s cheek if he didn’t sort of value his life. “It was covered in blood, and I have no other clothes, hence the shirt.”
Series
- Part 6 of umbrella academy one-shots where people give a damn about klaus
- Part 1 of Swallow Every Single Lie (Take All of Me)
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
21 Jun 2026
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"After the apocalypse that wasn't, Klaus struggles."
Or: Five times Klaus’s siblings tolerated his need for touch, and one time it (and he) was embraced.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 10,483
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 127
- Kudos:
- 2,595
- Bookmarks:
- 611
- Hits:
- 19,708
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
19 Jun 2026
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The first time Klaus uses his telekinesis was the first time Reginald ever raised a hand against one of them.
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
18 Jun 2026
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I Thought You Left (But You're Right Here) by Scarlet_Nin
Fandoms: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
07 Aug 2020
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There were many things Klaus willingly ignored and chose to accept as inevitable. His chores around the house and the scolding and punishments that followed the small acts of lazy rebellion. Five’s absence, still so fresh in their minds. Vanya’s spiral into depression. The mausoleum.
But there was one thing he couldn’t—wouldn’t accept.
Ben’s death.
Series
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
18 Jun 2026
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“He’s not breathing—” Diego checks his pulse. “—he’s…there’s…there’s no pulse!”
Klaus watches Diego press a trembling finger onto the pale line of his throat.
“…guys?”
“Shut the fuck up, Luther,” Diego glares at him from across the room, next to his body— “Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted? Allison—”
What the hell?
Wait, did Diego just say Luther?
Risking a glance at Vanya in the hopes of catching sight of his reflection, he inches closer towards the door. His sister stopped hammering on the glass door, instead staring in open mouthed horror at where Diego is hovering over his body. She’s nearly pressed against the glass, not cowering back when he approaches and sees—
—Luther’s face staring back at him.
Klaus stumbles back, head beginning to ache. "Oh, shit."
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 18,820
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Comments:
- 256
- Kudos:
- 3,944
- Bookmarks:
- 768
- Hits:
- 42,146
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
17 Jun 2026
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A plan took shape in Five’s mind.
It wasn’t one he particularly liked, and it would be unequivocally humiliating, but with the Commission coming and their powers shot to hell for the foreseeable future, Five couldn’t think of any other option.
Didn’t change the fact that he despised crying.
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Five pretends to cry to get an enemy to lower their guard—emphasis on “pretend.”His siblings don’t catch on. After getting over their shock, they become unnecessarily distressed and proceed to flutter around Five like neurotic chickens.
Oh, and some people die, but that was kind of the plan all along.
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
07 Jun 2026
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Klaus flicked through a few pages without reading them, shut the book, craned his neck to look back at Ben, and mouthed, does he sleep here?
Ben shrugged helplessly. “You could ask, but….”
But Five wouldn’t answer, Klaus knew. Not yet. Convincing Five to open up took finesse. For starters, Klaus had to get him talking again, so he tossed out the first question that came to mind – “Hey, did you and Dolores break up or something?”
“Abort mission,” Ben deadpanned.
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
07 Jun 2026
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We Only See Each Other at Arrests and Bails by Icestorm238
Fandoms: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
27 Sep 2019
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Summary
aka the five times Diego picked up Klaus from the police station, and the one time Klaus picked up Diego.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,714
- Chapters:
- 6/6
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 155
- Kudos:
- 3,243
- Bookmarks:
- 810
- Hits:
- 26,931
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
07 Jun 2026
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"It's going to be okay," she says, wondering if that's true. "How bad are you hurt?"
"I'm dizzy," he says, "but that's probably because I kept slamming my head on that table." He keeps laughing. "Oh, man. Oh my god. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you."
"Do you know why they took you?"
"I don't know," he groans, the laughter dying in his throat. "They were looking for Five."
"Five of what?"
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Eudora rescues Klaus and survives. She does it all on her own. Because fuck fridging, fuck manpain, fuck misogyny, and fuck TUA.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 9,452
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 2
- Comments:
- 211
- Kudos:
- 4,700
- Bookmarks:
- 691
- Hits:
- 39,332
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
04 Jun 2026
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Lost Spirits by WerewolvesAreReal
Fandoms: Natsume Yuujinchou | Natsume's Book of Friends
31 Oct 2017
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Summary
When he is ten years old Natsume Takashi hears stories about ghosts and lines his bedroom with salt. His relatives yell at him, but it doesn't keep the monsters away.
Natsume also sees a movie with his cousin, and asks, “But why did they keep showing that lizard?”
(Pre-series AU).- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 6,109
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 3
- Comments:
- 36
- Kudos:
- 1,590
- Bookmarks:
- 358
- Hits:
- 8,777
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
27 Apr 2026
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She has felt, she thinks, a little more insane every morning since Orange Town.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,450
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 26
- Kudos:
- 195
- Bookmarks:
- 37
- Hits:
- 1,329
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
06 Apr 2026
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Summary
It does not even cross his mind until he is two margaritas deep and Thatch is glancing at the Red Force moored next to them. “Hey, since we just got Ace to stop trying to kill Pops - do you think he’ll try to take Red Haired Shank’s head instead?”
Marco promptly spills his drink all over himself. “Fuck.” Fuck, fuck, fuck. Why did he not think of that? Holy–
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 5,359
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 5
- Comments:
- 171
- Kudos:
- 8,553
- Bookmarks:
- 1,991
- Hits:
- 55,152
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
06 Apr 2026
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but satisfaction brought it back by queerweather
Fandoms: 전지적 독자 시점 - 싱숑 | Omniscient Reader - Sing-Shong
01 Jan 2024
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Summary
“I suppose it’s less humiliating, the less people that know,” Kim Dokja said with a sigh. “I won’t lie and say I’m enthused, but I’m not unwilling.”
Yoo Joonghyuk stared at him.
Kim Dokja scowled back. “Don’t look at me like that. I’m giving you realistic options. It’s either me or Lee Seolhwa. I’m not letting you die.”
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Yoo Joonghyuk's pride gets him poisoned with an aphrodisiac. Kim Dokja's emotional constipation gets him stuck in A Situation.As if his life wasn't stupid or complicated enough.
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
06 Apr 2026
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It’s strangely exhilarating, imagining himself on his knees in front of Luffy, blindfolded. Like he really is getting executed this time. All of Zoro’s senses stand at attention and his mouth fills with saliva.
The flat of Kitetsu’s blade presses cold against Zoro’s cheek. “Zoro,” Luffy scolds. “I haven’t even done anything yet.”
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Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and Zoro is not afraid of Luffy handling his swords; Zoro is afraid of how Luffy handling his swords might unravel him.- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,843
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Comments:
- 296
- Kudos:
- 2,294
- Bookmarks:
- 711
- Hits:
- 20,400
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
06 Apr 2026
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The Righteous and Unimpeachable Xuan Su Sword by Prim_the_Amazing
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù
26 Jul 2025
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Summary
“Mu-shidi,” Yue Qingyuan speaks up, taking his seat at the head of the table. “Have you heard of this curse?”
“I’m afraid not,” Mu Qingfang says, shaking his head. “A curse of compulsion, with dire consequences for disobedience… I’ve heard of many similar things, but not exactly this.”
“For all we know, the perpetrator invented this little trap just for us,” Shen Qinqiu says, tapping his fan dangerously. “Tailormade to ruin us.”
“I have no secrets to hide,” Liu Qingge says, and lifts his chin challengingly at Shen Qingqiu, who bristles in return. “Do you?”
“Ah, Liu-shidi, if you don’t have any secrets then you should get some real quick!” Shang Qinghua says with bright, manic cheer, his smile and his eyes a little too wide. “The consequences for not meeting the curse’s requirements would be very very bad!”
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The Peak Lords of Cang Qiong Mountain Sect are stricken with a curse that forces them to reveal a secret, and they all must submit to this curse or suffer the consequences...
Yue Qingyuan wishes he were anywhere but here.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 15,431
- Chapters:
- 2/2
- Comments:
- 288
- Kudos:
- 2,943
- Bookmarks:
- 803
- Hits:
- 14,147
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
07 Mar 2026
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Summary
Merlin has an . . . interesting . . . relationship with reality.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 614
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 96
- Kudos:
- 1,946
- Bookmarks:
- 276
- Hits:
- 7,567
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
07 Mar 2026
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Summary
Charles hates enclosed spaces. Edwin minds them much less than he should. Neither of them is very happy about it.
**
Or: Edwin and Charles get locked in an iron coffin together, the fic.
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
13 Feb 2026
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The Case of the Antisocial Anime Aficionados by RoseGanymede95
Fandoms: Dead Boy Detectives (TV)
15 Sep 2025
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Summary
Melanie stared down at her fine leather handbag. “I don’t want him to do something stupid. Like find a way to hurt himself. Or… maybe hurt someone else.”
Ah. Edwin leaned forward on the desk, steepling his fingers. “I see,” he said. “In that case, you are not only looking for our help as investigators. You are also potentially in need of bounty hunters.”
“Of course not!” Melanie exclaimed, bristling. “I’m not asking you to kidnap him at gunpoint! I just want you to find my stupid little brother before he cocks up something serious!”
Edwin shrugged. “Semantics,” he said simply.
The boys take on a case that will be very easy to solve. It will definitely not bring about any unexpected complications or zany hijinks.
Series
Bookmarked by AnonymousContrivance
28 Jan 2026