Alwayspretending



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  1. Public Bookmark *

    Summary

    This is my little playground where I smash HR characters together to make them communicate better. Sometimes, it even works.

    Fair warning: My definition of "dude" is very broad.

    Each work CAN technically be read as a standalone. But they're built on each other, so you might have more fun if you read them in order.

    Words:
    91,434
    Works:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    601

    22 Jun 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Ilya Rozanov's life takes an unexpected turn when a deadly plane crash in 2021 takes his life, right after a fight with his long-time partner, Shane Hollander. Though instead of the afterlife, Ilya is sent back to December 2008, just before his NHL career began, on the very day that he first met Shane. He finds himself in a familiar world, with knowledge of both the future and knowledge of the man he loves and the friends he holds dear.

    As Ilya navigates this new reality, he rebuilds his relationship with Shane, who is still finding his path in both hockey and his identity as a gay man. With their rivalry blossoming into a different experience than the one Ilya experienced the first time around, the two face challenges around acceptance, family pressures, and the struggles of being openly gay and lovers in the sports world. Throughout their journey, Ilya contemplates his first life, cherishes the present, and strives to alter the course of their futures (and the futures of their friends) for the better.

    Or, Ilya Rozanov discovers first hand what the butterfly effect is, and how it can drastically alter the future.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    67,594
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    1,191
    Kudos:
    8,667
    Bookmarks:
    3,407
    Hits:
    171,134

    20 Jun 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    "Oh, it looks like you’re doing better! With those scores, I guess we won’t have to meet as often anymore." Shane was beaming, proudly looking down at the transcript. Ilya’s smile immediately dropped.

    Needless to say, he scored 20 points lower on the next midterm.

    In which popular hockey fuckboy Ilya Rozanov falls madly in love with the university's golden boy Shane Hollander. Somehow, they go from being the talk on campus to becoming that couple.

    Alternatively, my take on the Jock!Ilya x Nerd!Shane trope bc it is desperately underrepresented.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    88,928
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Comments:
    1,430
    Kudos:
    15,812
    Bookmarks:
    5,866
    Hits:
    409,790

    16 Jun 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane
    Last chance. Take your tank top back.

    Lily
    no, it's a fucking gift
    keep it

    Shane
    Fine.
    I'll show you what I do with gifts from alphas like you.

    Lily
    what the hell is that supposed to mean???
    hollander
    fuck

    Shane doesn't get injured after Tampa, and Ilya breaks up with him to save both their hearts. (Un?)Fortunately for Ilya, Shane isn't letting him go without a fight.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    57,322
    Chapters:
    5/5
    Comments:
    1,582
    Kudos:
    11,864
    Bookmarks:
    4,062
    Hits:
    226,243

    15 Jun 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Shane leaves that Vegas penthouse suite feeling wretched, and like an idiot, and like he never wants to see Ilya Rozanov again.

    Except, well. Then there are zombies.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    95,670
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    2,513
    Kudos:
    7,933
    Bookmarks:
    3,694
    Hits:
    119,992

    15 Jun 2026