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  1. Public Bookmark 37

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    The sixth grade class this year was a fucking nightmare.

    Ilya wasn’t usually the kind of teacher who liked to label an entire group of kids as anything, because kids are all unique and individual and there was no accurate way to describe an entire class using just one word. He still stands by that, mostly, except this year seems to be the exception because he only needed two words for this group of gremlins: fucking. Nightmare.

     
    Ilya Rozanov teaches sixth grade social studies at Reid Middle School. Shane Hollander teaches eighth grade social studies next door. Together, they’ve been tasked with creating a mentorship program between the sixth and eighth grade classes in an attempt to curb some truly outrageous sixth grade behaviors. The only problem? The two men can barely tolerate each other at the best of times, and October in a middle school is not that. And, there’s the added layer that they both are stupidly in love with each other, because they REALLY don’t know how to go about anything the easy way.

    OR: Two middle school social studies teachers discover they are just about as emotionally mature as their students. Yay frontal lobe development!

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    26 Jul 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya had thought it was dumb, when Galina suggested it. A code word for when his mental health was bad—he and Shane didn’t even have a code word for sex, and Ilya was regularly tying Shane to the bed and slapping his ass until it was as red as a tomato.

    “Is there a reason you’re calling me?” Shane asks now, voice echoey over the phone. “Or is this part of your strategy to win our argument?”

    Ilya swallows hard. “Constantinople,” he says.

    --

    Or: Ilya goes through a rough patch.

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    16 Jul 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Upcoming actor and well-known playboy Ilya Rozanov is good at getting what he wants.

    That is, until he wants hockey's golden boy Shane Hollander.

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    15 Jul 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Ilya Rozanov’s opponents would describe him as a brutal savage with a dirty record, known for hitting after the bell’s gone off. Spectators would describe him as a cocky spitfire with the stats to back it up, dollar bills passed around like candy whenever he was in the cage. Commentators would describe him as a barreling force of nature with a promising legacy. Weighing in at a hundred and eighty-five pounds of raw muscle, he was the son of Grigori Rozanov, notorious Russian street fighter, and he pulled no punches, so to speak.

    Shane would describe Ilya Rozanov as a fucking asshole with, admittedly, a pretty clean uppercut. Hardly any of the matches he’d watched him win had lasted the full five minutes.

    *

    AU. Shane first introduces himself to Ilya Rozanov ten minutes before they’re slotted to beat the shit out of each other in front of a live audience. They go together like fire and gasoline.

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    15 Jul 2026

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    -Association of Zoos & Aquariums Forum Admin created new topic-
    AZA CONFERENCE RIDESHARE MASTER POST
    Hey everyone, hoping to link up for a ride to AZA in October? This thread is for you!

    Ilya R.
    hi looking for ride from ottawa one-way. flying out after conference. will pay you for gas.

    Shane H.
    I can swing through Ottawa as long as you’re ready to go by 9 am Mon. No smoking or snacks in the car but you can be in charge of the stereo.

    Ilya R.
    thank you you seem like very safe driver
    Ilya R.
    even with stick up your ass

    Or, zookeeper Ilya meets aquarium keeper Shane on a road trip with only one bed and a whole lot of unlikely animal friends.

    -this fic is now complete!-

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    15 Jul 2026