this is above my pay grade (and other famous last words)
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1-800-COSMIC by literaryangst
Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Danny Phantom, Red Robin (Comics)
15 Jun 2026
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Summary
Timothy Jackson Drake is dead. Or at least, it feels like he should be.
Bruce is still missing. Tim feels as though he’s been tortured and violated to the point he should be classified as dead. Apparently, the afterlife is run by a half-dead teenager who keeps throwing eldritch creatures at problems (this alone makes Tim want to die). But that’s not the worst part…
Lucius just transferred ownership of Wayne Enterprises to him.
Tim almost laughs. What a waste.
or
dead Red Robin gets hired into a cosmic emergency hotline disguised as customer service and discovers the universe is held together with duct tape, spite, and Phantom-brand energy drinks. (ft. tim’s “thought non-existent” guardian angel, bruce’s return causing issues on a celestial scale, the timeline where emotional literacy apparently does not exist, grotesquely optimistic discussions on what a soulmate is, awe-levels of stupidity, violence (read: affectionate), the rage-baiting of Lex Luthor to prevent interdimensional collapse, and more!) [not necessarily in this order.]
Series