i love this. shy demure victorian maiden murtagh is everything to me! the emotional repression, the guilt, the internalized shame, the deep yearning for eragon while being terrified of the societal consequenes that come with desiring him, eragon literally having him cornerned against a wall and murtagh fighting to preserve his chastity lmaooooo
and then eragon calling him out for enjoying their trysts and murtaghs near existential breakdown at having been so exposed for having Desires like
eragon really broke my heart in this story, outwardly he seems fine and okay but towards the end you can see the cracks in his mask, and hes just hurting so badly.
the bruise, the whippings, seeking comfort from murtagh at the risk of his own safety/life, the overtly sexual behavior, the vulnerability that he keeps trying to hide with a smile, murtagh saying hes only doing this because hes starved for kindness after being broken by the king, oh my goddd my baby eragon :(
A delicate tremble goes through Eragon's body but he hides it quickly with a grin
the bravado is all an act!
The king had seen to it that his wounds were properly tended after his last whipping, leaving no visible scarring, though Murtagh is well aware that some wounds leave no trace upon the surface.
yeah YEAH :(
Eragon has already been sent to the whipping post more times in the few months he has been here than Murtagh has in all his years in Urû’baen.
:((((((
The King would kill them—or worse, parade them around in humiliation first before killing them. We are trapped under the King; we may as well live. the light of something desperate in his eyes.
you can tell he’s desperate for any relief or comfort :( sejsldjeer im going to kms
A hush settles over Eragon, as if seeing Murtagh properly bared seems to finally drive home the immensity of what they are about to do. For all his bravado, he is still young and untried There is a note of forced nonchalance in his voice, as if they were discussing sword maintenance. But Murtagh can see the frantic rise and fall of his chest. he feels a sudden, faint thrum of tension in him. Eragon smiles at Murtagh, yet there is a vulnerability in his gaze that makes Murtagh’s heart beat harder in his chest. Eragon’s expression deepens into something serious. He stares up at Murtagh, his expression shifting with each thrust, but there is something enduring in his eyes. You are only starved for kindness, broken as you are by the king.When he finds the bruise beneath Eragon’s eye, his mouth gentles, and he presses a careful kiss there, pouring all his tenderness into it, even as he bitterly loathes himself for bringing him to Urû’baen—for all the suffering that followed, for what it has made of Eragon.
so good! of course being torn from everything he knew and brought to the capital, broken in, enslaved and whipped every day is going to force him to create a defense mechanism, a mask of confidence that he doesnt really feel, all while hes still the hurting boy underneath, and practically throws himself on murtagh because hes the only one whos nice to him :( and his willfullness and defiance makes sense for someone who used to be the poster boy for the varden, now being defiant in any way he can is the only way he can cope with the helplessness of his situation
“Please,” Eragon breathes, clutching him closer, and Murtagh understands, resolving to give him everything he has
murtagh realizing eragon needs that closeness to forget, also murtagh’s guilt at being the one who put him in this situation so he vows to give him whatever he wants. the layers!
and a strange sort of contentment rises through the endless guilt and shame.
murtagh fighting for his LIFE this chapter against his internal self loathing and guilt/shame, but also feeling contentment for the first time with eragon in his arms, oh i love themmm
eragons jealousy with ilenna, and murtaghs jealousy here:
He will learn, soon enough, who had dared presume such familiarity with his brother.
delicious good food!
The point is this: I know who I want, and I intend to have them. I will not be as our mother was.
the irony!!! being that eragon doesnt know about brom, that selena actually did buck the restrictions around her and have who she wanted in secret, exactly as eragon is doing now. oh selena you ARE the mother! thats her willful rebellious baby copy paste.
murtaghs guilt re nasuada was so good too! the way hes desperately clinging to her memory to prove hes Normal and Straight and isnt actually a Freak who is In Love with his Brother but failing miserably skdjsdjgslg
i remember reading “murtagh” and coming to the scene of him brushing a thumb across nasuada’s coin, but immediately stopping because he "felt as if he’d taken an unwarranted liberty" LMAOOOO this DORK. he was raised with so much court-bred propriety that he has extreme sensitivity to social boundaries. which is why he’s so repressed here! he can be with eragon but only when its in the DARK and no one is WATCHING and clothes must be ON. kissing is like third base to him, he is practically no better than a whore in a brothel! and GASP what do you mean you want him to bed you eragon?? he might see your ANKLE!!! think of his poor delicate sensibilities, i beg you!!
i love that you picked up on eragon’s underlying hurts and anxieties! outwardly he’s really trying to hold onto this image of confidence and strength despite everything that’s been done to him. it’s very intentional. he doesn’t want them to think they’ve broken him, especially not as shadeslayer, as someone who stood for freedom. letting the bravado slip feels like letting them win.
and with murtagh it’s even more complicated. he doesn’t want pity from him, doesn’t want to be seen as fragile or diminished, like someone who needs to be handled carefully. there’s pride there, but also something softer, he wants to be seen as an equal, as someone murtagh can still respect, still want, still stand beside. not someone reduced by what’s been done to him.
so he overcorrects a little, leans into that confidence even when it means swallowing his own fear and hurt. because if he lets that show, even for a second, he risks losing control of how he’s seen, and right now that’s one of the only things he has left.
(murtagh can see through him anyway, and loves him regardless)
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gravesilk Thu 02 Apr 2026 02:54AM UTC
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horrorcowboy Thu 02 Apr 2026 10:37AM UTC
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