Stories of which I am personally responsible for disproportionately skewing the hit count ratio
The ONES.
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Summary
A guide on how to make your big brother cry.
Not a guide on how to safely practice bukkake.
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Summary
Madara is sent on a mission by Hashirama to find Hashirama's
stupid fucking good for nothing godforsakenSignet ring.After accidentally becoming an accessory to murder, Tobirama agrees to help.
They learn to get along.
...Eventually.
Series
- Part 3 of dead or alive
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fight me to your (little) death by hypotheticalseaweed (velosaraptor)
Fandoms: Naruto (Anime & Manga)
12 Jan 2026
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Summary
“W-what are you doing?” Tobirama splutters, a hot flush crawling up his face.
"Fucking you?" He says it like it's obvious; a given that Tobirama will submit himself to the Uchiha.
"No, you are not,” Tobirama replies, kicking Madara away.
Madara rubs his chest, massaging the place where Tobirama's heel had connected. “What the hell? I thought you wanted this."
“You’re not putting your dick in me.”
Madara looks like Tobirama has just declared his indefinite residence on the moon. "Why not?”
The back and forth grows tiresome. "Because I'm fucking you," Tobirama says plainly.
Madara scoffs. "Absolutely not."
Tobirama glares.
After a long moment Madara hums, indolent, contemplative. “I’ll fight you for it.”
or, Madara and Tobirama fight for the right to top.
alternatively, "started as a top and now i'm here (bottoming)"
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Summary
To escape an arranged marriage Tobirama hires Izuna, who is working the streets, to pose as his boyfriend for the holidays.
Falling in love was not part of the plan.
Neither was convincing the wrong person that the relationship was real and putting a target on Izuna’s back.
Or uncovering a long-running criminal operation buried deep in Konoha’s medical system—one that someone is very invested in keeping secret. -
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Summary
A man who lays hands on a cursed sword is a fool every day until he dies. Unless that sword likes you.
Kagami always was an unusual Uchiha. Only rarely is he a fool.