Chapter Text
Louis had always been a special boy. He knew it, people told him all the time. He was special because he was so annoying as a kid some times, he was special because he liked to act and sing, he was special because he liked boys. People never called him annoying or queer or any hurtful names, just special.
As a child, Louis needed attention. Like any other first born, you would say. Everything he did was praised by his young parents and the entire family. He did everything first, so it was more impressive than when his little sisters later did the same. He was such a lovable child, the whole neighbourhood knew him and adored him. But Louis himself asked for more attention, so much it got quite irritating. Whenever he had drawn something or learned something new he’d force it in everybody’s sight and waited for them to praise him, repeating it quite a few times as well. Whenever he said something funny, it would be the only thing he’d say for days. He searched that spotlight, needed that attention. That’s why no one was really surprised when he joined a drama club.
“He loves to be the centre of attention, couldn’t picture him anywhere else.”
When he got a little older, he outgrew the so called ‘cuteness-factor’ and his blunt fishing for compliments got old. People didn’t like it when he’d beg them to tell him he was amazing, told him that it wasn’t polite to do so, said he had to wait for people to say something nice so that it was more genuine. It tore Louis down, he felt empty and unloved with all the compliments and praise gone. He would cry himself to sleep, thinking nobody liked him anymore, that he maybe had done something wrong. His mother told him he had a big heart, and that he needed more love to fill it than other people. She said that’s what the doctor said, although he called it differently. That’s why he sought so much attention, that’s why he felt so empty now. When he thought of it, he’d always felt empty, even when he still got smothered in kind words. His mother had told him to find love in different ways, to find love in loving other people.
At first Louis didn’t understand her, but later he realized how great it made him feel when he’d make somebody smile. Whenever he felt empty, he started to socialize, surrounding himself in people and pleasing them immensely. He loved helping his mom and stepdad (somewhere along the line his parents divorced and his mother got someone new), loved playing with his little sisters or cuddling them to sleep. He loved being the one people turned to when they needed help, loved solving people’s problems and bathing himself in the gratefulness he’d receive. He was openly gay, but had the luck of not being bullied because of it. He went to one of the rare schools where students didn’t care if you liked boys, girls or both and he was happy there. Girls had him as their ‘gay best friend’ and guy still hung out with him, he had a happy life now that he had balanced it out and filled it with enough people to love.
But then High School ended and his friends moved around the country to go to college. Even worse, he had to move for college. He would have to live in an apartment all by himself. Alone, with no one to love. Louis got anxious, didn’t want to leave. “Mum, I don’t want to be alone.” He knew he wanted to go to London, though, he wanted to become a Drama teacher so badly. His parents couldn’t move to London so he had no other choice. He had to learn how to be on his own, had to figure out if love via Skype was the same.
It wasn’t.
Louis had never felt so miserable in his life. Yes, he went to his dream school and sure, there were a few nice students there which he could get along with, but it wasn’t enough. Not by far. He felt so empty in the big apartment, all alone. Felt like his body was slowly wasting away. He wouldn’t let that happen, though. He was determined to get the life back he had in high school, the happy life. So every day after school, he would drive home and do his homework, walking around town afterwards. He set goals for himself ‘make five people smile’ ‘help somebody’ ‘pay for someone’s coffee’ and others like these. He’d wave to everybody he’d pass and smile the whole time. He would look out for people that seemed in need of a bit happiness and he would try to give them some. It wasn’t quite enough, but it was something.
Louis was good in recognizing people that needed him, he seemed to feel it if people were in trouble. He also kept an eye open for nice guys, someone he could love and take care of. He knew that when he’d find him, he would fall in love extremely fast and he would give his all, he hoped the other guy would do the same. He was also one hundred percent sure that he’d know right away when he’d found his prince -or soul mate or whatever you want to call it. Louis knew he had a secret power for that, for finding the perfect boy to love. He was sure that he would recognize the most masked love in the blink of an eye, just like he’d recognize people in need in a split second. Liam Payne was an easy one, though.