Chapter Text

He had first gotten the ‘talk’ from Old Man Winter.

A horrifying ordeal really, especially since the old man suddenly excused him in the middle of the Winter Solstice, loudly proclaiming to everyone in the vicinity that it was time for Jack to know about the ‘icicles’ and the ‘caves’. (They were winter beings after all, the concept of the bees and the birds did not apply to them and since no animals can properly express the ‘talk’ - well, they had to get creative.)

Jack swore in that moment that he will never again laugh at anyone who was publicly humiliated by their own parents or grandparents or crazy relatives, again.

Thankfully, the ‘talk’ wasn’t as long as he had expected. The old man just really went into basics about the anatomy of a winter being- something Jack was so totally uninterested about- and how it would complicate things especially relationships sometimes.

And then the old man went into the talk about how Jack shouldn’t even be thinking about fornicating yet (even if he was three hundred and so years old), since the proper way into a relationship was not by going through the physical part immediately, but rather by going through the emotional one- Courting.

And apparently, to Jack’s great surprise, winter beings had traditions on courting.

“First we observe this specimen we are so attracted to.” And Jack had to roll his eyes at the way the word ‘observe’ was used. “Follow the object of our affections without being seen-”

“So basically, you stalk them.” Jack pointed out and he did not flinch at the sharp blue eyes that glared at him.

“Stalk is not an appropriate word-”

“You do know that stalking is illegal right?” Jack continued on. “And besides I’m not sure that Bun- I mean the object of my affection appreciates being stalked. I mean, let’s say that the rab- I mean person I like knows different types of martial arts and could clobber any stalkers down with his- I mean her boome- I mean weapon, any minute. I see a lot of risk in this situation, if you ask me.”

Old Man Winter gave the young sprite an appraising look and Jack swallows and worries for a minute that he may have given a bit too much information.

“Well, then yours is a different case. The traditions of courting as I told you were specifically for winter beings liking winter beings only. Courting Spring, however, is different.”

And Jack knew just from those words alone, that yes, once again he had said too much.

“Spring is about rebirth and different colored plants and ornaments and blah!” Father Frost said with a shrug. “A great Ice King of ours had once fallen for a Spring Maiden and to impress her, he bathed himself in the colors of Spring. From cold and white he became colorful to the eyes.”

“So…” Jack said carefully thinking that the only way one can become colorful was to dunk in a river of dye, “He made a fool of himself.”

The Old Man rolled his eyes. Trust Jack to unearth the embarrassing secrets behind traditions, “Next he ran towards the object of his affection, still draped in the colors he bathed and gleefully spread the colors about with the contact he acquired-”

“You mean he hugged-” Jack began with a horrified look mixed with amusement, “While he was dripping with paint-” but the Old Winter Man raised a hand to interrupt him.

The elder Frost continued, “After making his intentions clear, he froze the Spring Maiden’s favorite tree so as to preserve it for her-”

“So he killed her tree-”

“-for eternity. And lastly, our wise King invited her and a handful of other Spring Spirits into his Ice castle where it is said that nearly every visitor of Spring fainted at the arrival due to the bitter cold.” Old Man Winter finished. “The courting tradition has been repeated again and again by winter spirits who wish to be with their opposites. Any questions?”

“So, were any of these people successful in wooing their Spring loves?” Jack asked amused.

Old Man Winter frowned, “Well, no. But if one wishes to be with Spring, one must fulfill every requirement or risk the wrath of the Winter Knights.”

Jack raised an eyebrow, “Why? I didn’t know that the knights were interested in Winter-Spring love affairs.”

The Old Man sighed, “Traditions. The King was furious that his courting ritual did not work, therefore he proclaimed that any winter spirit that wishes to be with a Spring counterpart must undergo what he went through or risk the wrath of his Knights.”

And Jack sighed in unison, “Of course.”

“So, young Frost, have you a plan?”

Jack winked, “Just leave it to me.”

--

“FROSTBITE!” Old Man Winter watched in amusement as the Easter Bunny appeared in the palace of the Ice faes, covered from head to toe in blue and silver paint with paper snowflakes dipped in glitters, sticking to furry arms. “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU FOLLOWING ME AROUND? AND WHY DID YOU JUMP IN THE DYE RIVER, HUG ME, AND FREEZE MY JACARANDA ACUTIFOLIA?”

“Don’t worry, he isn’t cursing.” Jack suddenly said from beside Old Man Winter. “He’s talking about his favorite tree.”

“Impressive that you have all done this within thirty minutes, but it still leaves you with one predicament. He must, one way or another, faint in the palace. But by the way he looks, he won’t rest until he finds you.” The Old Man stated with a shrug at the Rabbit’s directions.

The newest guardian laughed as he winked once more. “Watch.” He flew towards Bunny, careful to behind him. “Hey Bunny!” He called.

The guardian of Hope turned, growling as he opened his mouth to shout at the other and maybe even curse-

But before he could do so, Jack was suddenly in front of him, leaning forward to kiss his unpainted forehead. Green eyes blinked as Jack, pulled back, cheeks frosting as he smiled brightly and said, “I like you. Will you go out with me?”

THUMP!

And just like that, the Easter Spirit fell back in a dead faint as Old Man Winter watched the scene with wide blue eyes, turning to look at the young guardian who was still floating with a thoughtful expression.

“Well, I guess you are at a success in your traditional courting.” Old Man Winter said in approval. But when Jack he didn’t answer, the old man’s brows crinkled. “Jack, what are you thinking so hard about?”

Jack tilted his head to the side, expressions still thoughtful as he gazed at the fainted Pooka. “Nothing. I was just wondering…” Jack said as he turned to the old man with a nervous smile, “Do you think he’ll say yes?”

Old Man Winter sighed.

After what happened, you can only pray that he considers speaking to you again.

And to the Old Man’s surprise, after a lot of cursing and scolding and shouting and eventual explaining…

Bunny eventually said yes.

Thus, making Jack the first ever Winter Sprite to succeed in the Traditional Courting of Spring.

Best. Achievement. Ever.