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Suguru's at the beach. The warmth he feels is the sun shining down on him. The prickling of his skin is from the sand that sticks to his sweaty body. The pressure atop him is the book that he placed on his chest. Suguru's safe. He's at the beach. Okinawa, Hawaii, somewhere safe, far away. Suguru's at the beach.
One last thrust and Suguru's stuffed with his father's spend, he checks the time, four in the morning. If he showers fast enough maybe he can get two hours of sleep. Toji rolls off of Suguru who walks to the bathroom, footsteps light to keep from waking Megumi. Suguru turns on the shower the murky water doesn't do much to calm his nerves.
Two more years. That's how much longer it'll take before Suguru's free. Suguru scrubs in between his legs.
Megumi gets top marks in his class, the captain of the baseball team, and president of the literature club. He's a well rounded omega.
Suguru scrubs his chest until it's raw.
Megumi's bound to get into university and once he does he'll get a scholarship, leave this shithole and never look back.
Suguru scrubs his arms. He still isn't clean.
Megumi will move far away from their father and Suguru will finally move on with his life, marry his boyfriend, and the nightmare will be over.
Suguru scrubs in between his legs again, this time until he bleeds. But he doesn't notice.
The alarm comes too soon but not soon enough. Suguru can't remember the last time he slept without nightmares. The omega rolls out of his too small twin bed and checks the top bunk only to find it empty. At least he doesn't have to wake up Megumi today, one less responsibility.
Suguru pads to the kitchen and finds Megumi at the table with a bowl of cereal, the teen greets Suguru with a grunt. Which is teen-speak for, 'hello.'
"Are we out of milk?" Suguru asks.
"Yeah."
"Even the powdered stuff?"
"Yeah sorry."
Suguru sighs, he fills his bowl with cereal and adds water it's better than nothing.
Suguru eats his stale cereal with Megumi in silence dark eyes under the boy's eyes. No one in this home gets a good nights sleep…other than Toji.
Suguru decides to break the sleepy silence, "I'm going to the store today. Anything you want?"
"Not really," Megumi responds. The boy hasn't asked for anything since he became aware of their financial situation at the age of eight. Suguru tried to conceal it but Megumi's too observant for his own good.
"Are you sure? My boyfriend's buying," Suguru prods.
"Your sugar daddy?" Megumi teases.
Suguru kicks the teen under the table, "Satoru isn't my sugar daddy! He's my boyfriend."
"He's old as shit and buys you stuff."
"He isn't old he's thirty-three."
"Whatever," Megumi rolls his eyes, "but if he's buying can you get the prawn chips I like?"
"Prawn chips, got it," Suguru nods. He wishes his brother asked for more than prawn chips.
Once Suguru's shift is over he meets Satoru outside a boogie grocery store, on a side of town he's never felt comfortable at. Satoru waits outside the entrance, in a white t-shirt that costs more than Toji's rent, the alpha twirls a pair of designer sunglasses between his fingers. His blue eyes light up when he sees Suguru.
"I missed you," Satoru pulls Suguru into an all encompassing hug, he feels safe.
"I just saw you two days ago," Suguru's speech is muffled, he inhales his boyfriend's scent.
"Too long," Satoru pouts, he pulls away slightly and gives Suguru a disapproving look, "what'd I tell you about the scent neutralizing soap?"
Ah, that. A pit forms in Suguru's stomach and he looks at his feet like he's a child in trouble, just one look and Satoru can make him feel small.
"It's the only soap Toji will buy, and you know I'm saving money for my own place." He lies. Satoru knows Suguru has a rocky relationship with his father but Satoru doesn't need to know he's tainted.
Satoru sighs, annoyed, "you could move in with me."
"You know I can't, I need to take care of Megumi."
"He's not a child," Satoru counters.
"He's sixteen, I need to take care of him Satoru." Suguru takes Satoru's hand in his own.
"He seems capable of taking care of himself," Satoru grumbles and pulls his hand away, "we've been together four years and I'm not getting any younger. I don't want to be unmated at 35."
Suguru swallows roughly. Satoru's right, Suguru can be immature at times. He's only 21, he has all the time in the world, but a powerful man like Satoru? He needs to settle down soon. While the same pressures don't exist for alphas as they do omegas, it's still important for Satoru's family that he settles down soon.
"I'm sorry, thank you for being so patient," Suguru's voice is small, he can't lose Satoru, he's the best damn thing that's ever happened to him.
"Lets not fight," Satoru kisses Suguru's temple, "c'mon we can discuss this later."
Suguru nods and blinks back a few tears he didn't know he was holding back. Satoru leads him through the store and Suguru's sure to only get the essentials, he wouldn't want to impose on Satoru more than he already does. Megumi's chips will have to wait until another day.
Toji gropes Suguru's breasts through his oversized tee. The alpha pushes Suguru against the kitchen counter, his hard on presses against Suguru's backside. Augury's breasts have been a painful decelopment for Suguru since he turned 12. His body developed as did his father's arousal towards him. Suguru tries to push Toji away but the alpha is stronger, he can smell the alcohol on his breasts.
"You look like your mother," Toji purrs, his chin atop Suguru's shoulder, "smell like her too."
"Toji—stop. Megumi will be home soon," Suguru pleads.
"Maybe it's time we let him join, he's old enough."
Suguru elbows his father in the stomach and pushes him away, that was enough to give him the strength to fight back. His scent sours with anger.
"No, you know our agreement," Suguru crosses his arms over his chest, Toji stares at his breasts.
"And does your rich boyfriend know?" Toji asks with a grin.
"What boyfriend? I don't have a boyfriend."
"Don't ever play poker you're a terrible liar." Toji turns Suguru on his shoulder and cages him in the counter, "I saw him today. How'd you manage to charm Gojo Satoru?" Toji shoves a hand down Suguru's pants and cups his mound, "was it this?"
"Stop," Suguru pushes his father away, who stumbles back, "don't talk about Satoru." His cheeks burn in humiliation.
Toji smirks and brings his fingers that were previously in Suguru's underwear to his lips, he licks them and maintains eye contact with the omega. "You should invite him over for dinner. I should meet him since I'm your father."
Suguru pushes his father away, he no longer will be subject to Toji's perverse behavior. Suguru storms off to his bedroom and slams the door like a petulant child. He can't wait for Toji to die.
Suguru's on the beach. This time under water, the blue ocean engulfs his body. He can hear the muffled sound of waves crashing against the shore. Suguru's covered in warm water? pressure all around. He's wet.
Satoru finishes inside him with a grunt. The older alpha bites Suguru's shoulder and stuffs his knot inside him. Suguru yelps, he hates him Satoru knots him and Satoru knows that. But tonight he's too tired to argue.
"Satoru, you know I have to leave soon," Suguru sighs. The afternoon sun shines on them through Satoru's blinds.
"C'mon we can get dinner and go another round," Satoru whines into Suguru's silky hair.
"I need to cook dinner for Megumi."
"This again?" Satoru's nostrils flare with anger, "he's 16 Suguru, he can heat up ramen or something."
Suguru's excuses are harder to justify now that Megumi's older. When he and Satoru first started to date, Megumi was 13 going on 14, Satoru understood why Suguru doted on his little brother. But now Megumi's 16—which to Satoru means he should be old enough to take care of himself.
Suguru turns to face his boyfriend, his eyes soften and he juts out his bottom lip, "I don't want Megumi alone in that apartment at night. It's dangerous."
"Isn't your dad there?"
"Toji isn't safe." Suguru responds too fast. Satoru raises an eyebrow in response. "I mean…he's a drunk, you know this. If someone broke in he'd probably sleep through it."
"You're an omega Suguru, I know you like to forget but if I was a burglar and broke in and saw you, I'd pin you down and have my way with you."
Suguru laughs at the twisted joke, "as long as Megumi's safe, it'll be fine."
Teen love isn't something Suguru's experienced. He was courted by Gojo Satoru shortly after he turned 17. The alpha came into the coffee shop he worked at and aggressively flirted with the young omega. Suguru was hesitant but it didn't take long for him to give in, their romance cumulated in Satoru fucking Suguru in the back of a sports car. Since then Suguru and Satoru have belonged together.
But Suguru can recognize teen love when he sees it, and he sees it on the pink dusting of Megumi's cheeks when the teen chats on the phone in hushed tones. As soon as Megumi's notices his older brother he hurriedly hangs up the phone.
"Who was that?" Suguru asks with a wry smile.
"No one," Megumi mumbles, "what's for dinner?"
"No one," Suguru mimics, ignoring the question, "I'd recognize that face anywhere. You have a crush."
"I don't," Megumi protests; but his pink cheeks give it away.
"Megumi who is it? You can tell me."
"It's no one!" Megumi yells. He stomps off to their shared bedroom and slams the door. Huh, teens and their moods.
Toji hasn't been home in a week, much to Suguru's relief. He feels like he can breathe and even spends a few nights with Satoru, but he wishes he didn't. When Suguru enters his apartment he notices it's quiet. At first he assumes Megumi isn't home, but then he sees his brother's shoes neatly lined on the shoe rack. Suguru toes off his shoes and creeps through the apartment, he smells it before he sees it.
Megumi's orange scent soured by fear. Suguru's heart quickens, he rushes to the master bedroom where the door is locked. He kicks the door a few times, security deposit damned and finds Toji straddling Megumi on the bed. Megumi's eyes are filled with tears, hands pinned above his head.
Suguru sees red. He lunges at Toji and knocks his father off his brother, he scratches at the drunk man's face, screams at him. Suguru isn't sure his long his assault lasts but when his rampage is over he realizes Toji isn't breathing. Suguru's breath quickens and eyes fill with tears, he glances at Megumi who is on the floor, his mouth covered in horror.
"Megumi…" Suguru's voice is dangerous and low, "go to your room."
Megumi nods and scrambles off the floor, he rushes to their shared bedroom and slams the door shut. Suguru stares at his father's body, there's only one thing he can do.
"Now he's dead," Satoru throws the gun and the pillow he used as a silencer to the side. Suguru looks at his boyfriend and wonders how many times he's done this, he was eerily calm on the phone and he doesn't seem too upset over the turn of events.
"…thank you," Suguru mutters, he'll have to make up for this.
"You're covered in blood," Satoru examines, "take a shower and pack a bag, Ijichi will take you and Megumi to a hotel for the night."
Suguru nods. He scrubs himself until he's raw, and tunes out Megumi's tears from the bedroom.
What should be the height of luxury is the height of misery. In a fancy hotel room in the city Satoru told Megumi and Suguru to order whatever they wanted, neither had much of an appetite for anything. They both sit on the king bed in their pajamas the events of the night replay in their minds.
"Has he touched you before?" Suguru asks, anxiety spiking.
"I'm not like you," Megumi glares at his brother.
"What?"
"Dad told me all the things he's done to you. And you just let it happen?!" Megumi glares at his brother, "that's disgusting!"
"What the fuck was I supposed to do, Megumi?!" Suguru bites back, "Toji would've touched you if I made him stop."
"But he still did! Why didn't you call the police?!"
"Why are you mad at me?!"
"Our dad is dead!"
And there it is. The words linger in the air like a bad perfume. Their last living parent, no matter how problematic is gone forever. Megumi cries for the second time that night and Suguru reaches for him but the teen slaps his hand away.
"I'm going to move in with my boyfriend."
Suguru's ears start ringing and he goes numb. "Please—"
"I've been thinking about it for a while. You can't stop me, I'm 16."
"Okay." Suguru has no fight left in his body. It died with Toji.
"He's older too, not that you'd care. Gojo's 12 years older than you."
Suguru blinks again, "how much older?"
"He's 30."
That night after Megumi goes to bed, Suguru drinks an entire bottle of champagne.
Alcohol becomes Suguru's life raft after that. He moves out of Toji's apartment and moves in with Satoru, he quits his job and drinks. At first it was only as a sedative to help him sleep, but slowly he started to drink to forget as well. If Satoru noticed he hasn't said anything.
Suguru's moved into Satoru's luxury apartment and has dinner on the table every night, he cooks, cleans, and opens his legs for Satoru. He's sure the alpha will propose soon. Suguru's not sure how he feels about that, the alcohol drowns it out.
Satoru's the one who convinces Suguru to invite Megumi and his boyfriend over for dinner. Suguru wishes he didn't. Before the couple comes he has a bottle of wine, wine is fine, it's barely alcohol, it's basically water. Suguru smooths out his black dress and hair, he gargles mouthwash and heads to greet the happy couple.
The first thing he notices is Megumi's boyfriend is big. Almost as big as Toji. His face covered in tattoos, his hair dark, his eyes wolfish and red, Suguru's going to need something stronger than wine to get through the dinner. He forces himself to smile, Satoru seems unaffected by Megumi's boyfriend that's too old for him.
During dinner, Suguru notices the boyfriend—Sukuna is a lot like Toji too. Handsy, entitled, and loud. Megumi stares at Sukuna like he hung the moon and stars, Suguru downs another glass of red wine.
"You ought to give Megumi some cooking lessons," Sukuna jokes, "your food is delicious."
"Thank you Sukuna," Suguru smiles, tight and pleasant. "But I'd rather Megumi focus on his studies he has plenty of time to learn to cook."
"I dropped out," is Megumi's quick response, he eyes Suguru as if daring him to say anything.
"Well….it's your life," Suguru refuses to give his brother the response he wants. If Megumi wants to ruin his life that's on him.
The rest of dinner is as pleasant as possible, Suguru stays calm and drinks more than intended. Megumi gloats at his victory, as if he blames Suguru for everything that happened (it is Suguru's fault). They send the happy couple away and everything hits Suguru like a pile of bricks.
Suguru mechanically does the dishes, scrubs each plate until it's crystal clear while Satoru sits at the counter and drinks a beer.
"I understand the age gap is weird but Sukuna seems to be a good guy," Satoru breaks the silence. Suguru holds a plate so hard it shatters.
Satoru jumps up from his seat and rushes to Suguru, he examines the omega's bleeding hand. "Fuck baby I'm sorry."
Satoru forces Suguru to unclench the broken dish and takes him to the bathroom. He sits Suguru on the toilet and patches up his wounded hand.
"A good man," Suguru mutters, "a good man."
"We have an age gap—"
"I was broken from birth. Megumi deserved more."
Satoru narrows his eyes and stares at Suguru, his expression unreadable.
"What happened that night you killed your dad?"
"…what?!"
"I know you said you found him on top of Megumi but—that wasn't the first time was it? Has he done that to you?"
Suguru glares at Satoru, how dare he ask that?! Why does it matter? He shoots up from the toilet seat and storms out of the bathroom. He locks himself in their bedroom and collapses on the floor, everything is wrong. This isn't how life was supposed to go. Megumi was supposed to make it out, but now he's just as fucked as Suguru.
It's all Toji's fault. If Toji hadn't molested him, hadn't ruined his fucking life, had stuck to the deal maybe none of this would've happened. Suguru wants to die.
The omega is careful and waits until Satoru's asleep, he goes to their shared bathroom and opens a cabinet and grabs his vodka. Suguru downs the entire bottle, ignoring the burn and he waits for it to hit him. He hopes he asphixiates in his sleep, he hopes he fucking dies and the nightmare ends.
Suguru's legs give out first, the omega collapses on the cold bathroom tile, the room spins. Maybe he should've drank bleach. Suguru passes out shortly after that.
Suguru comes to a few hours later. He wakes up to Toji Satoru fucking him. Suguru wishes he drank bleach.