Chapter Text
S3E11 - S3E12
'Underdogs overcome.' It was his father's favorite motto. And Rick always wanted it to be true. But now…now he needed it to be true. Because as he walked down the creaking stairs of the prison, holding his newborn daughter and surveying his small group, there was no doubt they were the underdogs in this situation.
The people he'd come to view as family sat and stood in the close corridors of the cell block and listened to Beth's melodic voice fill the night's silence. Without saying a word, their gathering communicated a desire to stand united after the surprise attack earlier that day from the twisted man who calls himself the Governor. Rick glanced at their faces, exhausted but resolute, and felt grateful they were still here, especially after Axel wasn't so lucky.
His group was small but mighty, and they'd proven time and time again that they had enough grit to survive. But they were gonna need more than just grit to win this fight. They needed guns. And as the man they relied on to make plans and come up with solutions, Rick had made it his personal responsibility to find a way to arm and equip them.
They could search nearby areas in the hopes of coming across a few firearms, but right now, they needed something certain. Not a hunch. And Rick was certain that his old police station had been filled to the brim with weaponry. It'd be a road trip to go back to King County, but getting their hands on that many guns would be worth it.
Rick didn't love the idea of being away from the prison for long, especially knowing this Governor isn't averse to wreaking havoc right outside their gates. But Rick knew where the guns were stashed. He knew his hometown better than most. He had to go.
Fortunately, Daryl had decided to return to the prison after initially choosing to head off with his brother. Seeing Daryl standing next to Hershel near a cell on this night, Rick felt confident the two men could hold down the fort while he was gone. After all, they had to take charge a lot more in recent days since Rick had been spiraling.
He'd lost the only two people he'd known since he was a kid, and the truth was, he lost them months before they died. His situation with Lori and Shane, each concluding in tragedy and loose ends, felt like its own special hell on top of the hell this world had become.
The dead no longer stayed dead in this world, and now that applied to Lori, too, with her ghost appearing to Rick regularly. Too many emotions threatened to completely cloud Rick's mind and make him descend right back into madness when he thought about it too long. Every waking hour since seeing Carl step out with just Maggie and his baby sister, Rick was riddled with sorrow, anger, overwhelm, and guilt. So so much guilt.
Sometimes the guilt felt stacked on top of each other, threatening to crush him. Because he even felt guilty for feeling guilty. His wife and best friend moved on with alarming quickness when they thought he was dead. And then when Lori and Shane learned he was alive, it sometimes felt as if they wished he were dead. As if he complicated things when it was the other way around.
Rick had every reason to be angry with them, and yet he still felt guilty about his anger. And guilt for thinking he and Lori would have time to actually address the chasm between them - a split that had been growing since before a single walker roamed the earth.
It was over between them a long time ago. He knew that. He knows Lori knew it too. They could never go back to "normal," and the most honest part of Rick knew he hadn't even wanted to anymore. But he still would've never wished for it to end like this. With no closure. No healing. No peaceful agreement to end the marriage and focus on raising Carl.
Carl. Thinking of how Lori's death impacts his son hurt Rick the most. The immense devastation of Carl, not just losing his mother, but having to watch the brutal birth of his sister and being the one to stop his mother from turning, was enough to make Rick want to collapse and sob at any given moment. A nightmarish experience like that is exactly what Rick wanted to protect his baby boy from.
"You failed." Those two words had made themselves right at home in Rick's brain as of late, beating him up on a regular basis and making him lose it. Sometimes the inner voice would sound like Shane or Lori, but a lot of times the voice berating him inside was his own.
He couldn't shake the feeling that he had failed his family. And he would not fail them again when it came to protecting his remaining family from this new enemy. If he did nothing else, he would protect his child…children. He was still getting used to being a father of two. A single father of two at that.
He knew Judith wasn't his blood. He'd known it even before Judith arrived. But she was Carl's sister. And his son had lost enough family, so Rick initially decided he'd raise this baby as his own for the sake of his son. So that his son didn't have to see his family divided any further.
But then Rick held Judith for the first time, and he expected to look at her face and just see hurt and betrayal, but instead…he saw a little girl.
The baby wasn't just Lori and Shane; she was her own little person. And that's who Rick committed to take in like his own. He would fiercely protect her just like Carl. And he would protect his people.
His people. Rick could look at Glenn, Maggie, Carol, Beth, Daryl, and Hershel, and say with full conviction that these people, whom he'd never met before the world ended, are his people. People he'd fight for with everything he had.
And then there was her.
The unpredictable katana-wielding mystery woman who, when they met a few days ago, had reluctantly informed them her name is Michonne.
Michonne. It surprised Rick how often her name had floated in his mind when there was so much else to deal with. And yet, just as she sat by her lonesome in the corner of the prison, looking contemplative while Beth sang, she too always had a seat in the corner of Rick's mind, only leaving that corner during times when she took center stage in his thoughts.
Michonne had only been around a little while, but long enough for Rick to feel that he should've been able to figure her out by now. He was able to get a pretty good pulse on the type of people the Dixons and the Greens were after his first day of meeting them.
Within his first interactions, he knew enough to know that while Daryl was rough around the edges like Merle, he had a much softer heart than the eldest Dixon brother and that Hershel was an honorable man of the Word and man of his word, saving Carl's life with faith and determination.
But he still hadn't entirely figured Michonne out yet.
Their first interaction remained vivid in Rick's mind. The vividness of their exchange stood out to him because everything else the previous 48 hours had been a disorienting blur. Seeing Michonne at that prison fence, holding baby formula while standing fearlessly between the dead, her presence brought the world back into focus for him.
As they locked eyes across the fence, he had a quick moment of wondering if she was another dream. After all, his mind had been playing lots of tricks on him recently.
But that's perhaps what perplexed him the most. She didn't feel like a haunting phantom or a nightmare. She felt like a very real lifeline. Like maybe for once the universe had sent someone to the rescue.
He told himself it was the baby formula that made him feel that way, as well as later learning she knew how to help them find Glenn and Maggie. And yet whenever he bore into her eyes, and she maintained his fierce stare without flinching, something in his soul said it wasn't just formula and valuable intel that drew him to her.
He promised himself he wouldn't go easy on any newcomers after letting that prisoner Andrew go, only for him to come back and cause life-altering chaos. And Rick tried to be threatening and hostile with Michonne, but she had this effortless way of disarming him.
She intrigued him. And it annoyed him that she intrigued him.
He tried to maintain that annoyance so that he could be hostile with her the way he felt he needed to be. But that hostility toward her didn't feel natural. And it didn't feel necessary.
While he hadn't figured Michonne out yet, something told him she was good. Good for the group. Good for the coming battle with the Governor. And for some reason, good for him. And feeling that way just added to his perplexity surrounding her. Because she was, by all accounts, a stranger. And yet when he thought of his people, he deep down wanted her to be a part of that. A part of who he considered his people.
And as much as his mind worked overtime to deny it, he also knew he didn't look at Michonne as a typical stranger or even as just his people. Whenever he stared at her, his stare lingered, and his gaze occasionally dropped just a bit lower than her hypnotic eyes to her lips and chest. He was noticing things about her that he felt a grieving man who had just lost his wife shouldn't notice. That guilt was added to the pile of guilt he already felt.
Michonne was beautiful. Stunning, actually. Rick noticed that about her quickly. When she first told him her name a few days ago, his first thought was cliche but also absolute truth - A beautiful name for the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.
And it wasn't a crime to notice her beauty, but he felt like it was. Because his noticing wasn't impersonal. It wasn't just that she was attractive; it was that he was attracted. But that personal attraction wasn't something his subconscious was willing to share custody with his consciousness just yet, so it left him unsure of what exactly was making him react so differently and so strongly to this new, captivating woman.
He believed the part of him that felt desire and attraction should be dead by now. Replaced only with the thought of survival and safety. And yet something about her awoke something in him and raised questions too weighty for Rick to directly examine at this time.
But he did want answers. And considering he was trying to find an answer to their Governor problem with this King County run, he figured maybe he could kill two birds with one stone and get some answers on this mystery woman as well if he invited her on the run. He wanted to figure out once and for all who she is and if it's safe to let her join the group, like his gut had been beckoning him to do.
Rick glanced at Michonne, crouched still as a statue in her corner. She clearly seemed deep in thought, and he wondered what she was thinking and if she'd be surprised to know that she was what he was thinking about.
She appeared to be a woman of few words, but in a different way than Daryl was a man of few words. Daryl seemed like he was always that way, speaking his mind but never at length. And Michonne seemed like this broken new world made her this way.
Rick had a feeling she had a whole array of thoughts and ideas, but this cold, cruel world taught her to keep everything close to the chest. Either way, Daryl and Michonne were formidable fighters, and he'd need them both if they were going to successfully take down the Governor.
Still cradling his baby in his arms, Rick walked past Michonne to stand beside Hershel and Daryl.
"This fella's armed to the teeth. Bent on destruction…" Hershel's calm cadence was tinged with concern.
Daryl looked at Rick, curious and ready, "So what do you want to do?"
"We match it. I'm going on a run," Rick replied with more confidence than he felt.
"I'll head out tomorrow," Daryl nodded, not needing any more convincing to contribute. He had made his choice to be back with the group and knew he'd stay loyal to that decision from here on out.
"No, you stay here. Keep an eye on your brother," Rick peered over at the one-handed man leaning against a cell, his tone not so successfully hiding his disdain that Merle was a part of the deal in getting Daryl back.
Daryl was a solid friend and an invaluable asset, so much so that it made the price of having Merle among them worth it. But Rick also knew that meant the latest untrustworthy addition to the group was going to need extra supervision, regardless of being Daryl's blood.
"I'm glad you're back, really. But if he causes a problem, it's on you." Rick locked eyes with Daryl.
Daryl glanced at Merle and then back at Rick. "I got him."
"I'll take Michonne," Rick declared, the certainty in his voice surprising both Daryl and Hershel, and deep down even himself. Michonne had contributed more in a few days than one could ever ask for, but she was still a stranger, and they knew Rick wasn't exactly fond of strangers at this point.
"You sure that's a good idea?" Daryl questioned, his skepticism having less to do with the quality of Michonne's character and more with the idea of Rick going out alone with a person he barely knows after the state he's been in.
Rick couldn't answer that question with a definitive yes or no. He didn't know if it was good to take Michonne. But he knew he wanted it to be. And with Merle back and having been the one who tried to kill Michonne, he didn't want to leave her with the man who harmed her. So he answered simply, "I'll find out."
Then Rick looked over at his son, who sat with his knees close to his chest, his mind clearly elsewhere.
The last memory Rick had of Carl in King County, Rick was driving him to school in the morning, listening to Carl excitedly gush about the new Megamind movie Rick was going to take him and his friend Jack to see at the theater later that night. They never did go see that movie, as Rick ended up shot and in a coma that same day.
Now, looking at Carl so solemn and more mature than he ever should have had to be after experiencing more trauma before turning 13 than some soldiers endure in a lifetime, Rick wanted more than anything for Carl to feel some semblance of happiness again. King County housed some of those happy memories, and he hoped Carl's return home might be good for him and remind him of the good times.
"And Carl. He's ready," Rick added, knowing too that if he was going to take a long trip, he wanted his son with him. "You hold it down here."
Rick's eyes landed back on Daryl. Daryl understood the responsibility placed on him and said with his own brand of reassurance, "You got it."
Rick looked at Daryl, grateful that their friendship had evolved to a point of genuine trust. Yes, there were bad people out there, people who couldn't and shouldn't be trusted, but looking at Hershel, Daryl, Glenn, Maggie, Carol, and Beth, Rick couldn't help but be reminded that there are good people out there, too. People worthy of his trust, devotion, and care.
And on this run to King County, he hoped to confirm that Michonne was one of those people as well.
As the night grew darker, people dispersed into their cells. Rick knew he needed to speak with Michonne and see if she'd even be open to going on this King County run. And he hated that part of him felt anxious to ask her.
They face death and the dead every day, and yet it's talking to this woman that made him more nervous. He hesitated to head to her cell when Glenn poked his head out of the cell nearby and called his name.
"Rick?"
Rick turned to face Glenn, grateful to stall a bit.
"So you're going on a run tomorrow?" Glenn asked, already knowing the answer.
"Yeah. To my hometown. My station should be loaded with the exact kind of things we need."
Glenn nodded, eager to take out the Governor as soon as possible. Then Glenn's face got more serious, "And you're taking Michonne?"
Rick could see on Glenn's face that this choice hurt him. It hit him that Glenn likely felt he didn't ask him to go because he didn't trust him after the anger he'd been letting swallow him. But Rick would never judge Glenn for his anger, even if it led to a few spats between them. Rick understood how Glenn could feel so irate after the Governor violated Maggie. It enraged him as well.
Rick warmly put a hand on Glenn's shoulder, hoping to reassure him of his choice, as taking Michonne had much more to do with wanting to figure her out than wanting to shut Glenn out.
"Glenn, I have faith that you will do everything you can to protect this place while I'm gone." Rick looked in Glenn's eyes, then over toward the direction of Michonne's cell. "We need capable people in here, and I need a capable person with me out there. Michonne can clearly hold her own. It makes her dangerous, but it's also valuable," Rick continued.
Glenn nodded, "Yeah, I mean, she's already saved half this group's life, so I get it."
"I should tell her about the run before it gets any later."
The two bid each other goodnight as Rick headed toward Michonne's cell.
Glenn walked back into his cell, where Maggie and Beth sat on the bed, overhearing the conversation.
Beth normally roomed with Hershel, but her elderly father liked to go to sleep earlier than she did, so sometimes Beth would hang out with her big sister and Glenn into the night. And having finally got them both back after their horrific time in Woodbury, Beth liked to be around her sister and Glenn as much as possible.
Glenn was glad she was there as things were strained between him and Maggie currently, but Beth brought out a lighter side in all of them. She made them feel like, for at least a moment, they could just be happy and normal.
As Glenn entered, he noticed a smirk on Beth's face while Maggie stifled a laugh.
"What?" he asked, curious.
Maggie shook her head with an expression that was torn between amusement and a grimace.
"No, really, what?" Glenn was even more curious after seeing the two sisters' faces.
"Go ahead, tell him your theory," Maggie waved her arm from Beth to Glenn.
Beth looked up at Glenn with a confident smile, "Rick likes her."
Glenn stared at Beth, still confused.
"Rick likes Michonne," Beth said matter-of-factly.
Glenn raised a surprised brow, "You think so? He said he thinks she's unpredictable and could be dangerous."
"So he's taking this potentially 'dangerous, unpredictable' stranger on a run alone where his only backup is…his kid?" Beth eyed the two of them, knowingly.
Glenn and Maggie were silent, knowing she had a point.
"Right. Like I said - He likes her," Beth reiterated with a smile and zero doubt.
"Bethie, don't go sharing that theory around, okay? It's too soon…Even if you're right." Maggie replied while lovingly tucking a stray hair behind Beth's ear.
"Fine. And I am right. Just like I was about you two. Goodnight," Beth smirked before standing up and heading into her cell for the night.
Once she was out, Glenn turned to Maggie, "Us two?"
"She knew I liked you before I did," Maggie explained with a shrug. "Some girls have a heightened crush radar, I guess."
"Well, I had a crush on you the moment I laid eyes on you," Glenn plopped down on the bed beside her. Maggie smiled and patted his knee, "Yeah, that's the first thing Beth told me about you."
"Huh, she may be onto something then," Glenn said sincerely, looking toward the direction of Michonne's cell as Maggie nodded.