Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Pran had a huge problem: he was in love with his mom’s boyfriend.

It was stupid, and sometimes he felt like he was the main character of a very cheap porno. He wasn’t a dilf, or his stepfather, they weren’t even married. The fucker was only five years older than him and the hottest man he’d ever seen. And that wasn’t all, because Pran could ignore lust; this was worse. He was completely and utterly in love with him. In other words, he was fucked, and not in the good way.

His name was Pat, he was twenty-six years old, and he was apparently a God in bed. The first time he’d seen him, it was two in the morning, and he was cooking himself some ramen in the kitchen with the lights turned off. He always used the light from the open refrigerator or his phone's light. He was completely lost in his world, sipping from a glass of wine that he stole from his mom while he waited for the ramen to cook. 

He turned when he heard the front door open, and before he could open his mouth to say hi, he was interrupted by quick breathing and the sound of loud kissing. He raised his eyebrows when he saw some guy push his mother against the hallway wall as he aggressively made out with her. He rolled his eyes, because it hadn’t been the first time he’d seen that happen.

He turned to his pot and stirred the ramen with his chopsticks. Maybe it was his fault for not wanting to spend money on an apartment by himself and still living with his mom. But after his dorm closed down, it was almost impossible to get another apartment in time, so he just had to move back in with her.

She’d been doing that kind of stuff ever since he was a kid. She was sex positive, happily single, and a free woman. He still remembered the ‘sex talk’ he’d gotten from her when he turned fifteen.

“The one thing you need to know about sex, Pran, is that it’s supposed to be fun for everyone involved. If it’s not, something is wrong,” she told him when she noticed he was getting more and more interested in a boy from his class. “Do what you want as long as you have two things: consent, and condoms.”

Pran nodded his head and never forgot that advice. At least he knew his mother followed her own advice dutifully.

They only noticed him in the kitchen when they started to go to his mother’s room. 

“Oh, shit,” the guy said and flinched, clearly not expecting anyone to be there. He was tall, way taller than Dissaya, and he was young, way younger than the guys she’d been with.

“Oh, Pran, I didn’t know you’d be awake,” she said, trying to look more composed and failing. “Don’t worry, he’s my son,” she whispered into his ear, but Pran still heard her. “Just go to sleep, honey,” she said and grabbed his hand to guide him into her room.

Pran committed his face to memory, the most handsome guy he’d ever seen… Ever. Which was weird when five minutes later, he started hearing his mom moaning like she was seeing God. 

He was sitting in his room, which was right next to his mom’s, and he ate his ramen while he heard the banging of the bed against the wall and his mom’s moaning. Sometimes the guy’s groaning. That’s when he learned his name.

“Oh God, Pat, you’re so good,” she moaned loudly and Pran made a mental note of the name. 

For any other son, this would be weird, embarrassing, and probably traumatic. For Pran, this was another Friday night. His mother wasn’t a sex addict; she was sex positive. She had steady relationships with men who treated her well and treated Pran like a son; he couldn't complain.

While he was in elementary school, she dated a man named Mark. He was thirty, and he took him to the park to play baseball. He also ate her out in the kitchen without knowing that Pran wasn’t asleep in the living room. During high school, she dated an older man who had a lot of money and always took them on lavish vacations. They had sex on a yacht while Pran was swimming in the ocean. And like those, she’d had many more; at least she never picked them wrong.

And the courtesy extended to him as well. She always let him date whoever he wanted, staying sex positive as long as he was safe, and she was the right amount of strict to keep him safe.

Pran, ironically, met Pat again while he was in the kitchen. This time, it was the morning, and he was eating breakfast while he scrolled on his phone. Pat came out of his mother’s room already dressed. And, somehow, he was even more handsome in the morning light. He was taller than him, which was already saying a lot, and he was wearing a black shirt that was tight enough to show his muscles. His dress pants only indicated to him that he’d gone with his mom to the business dinner she had the night before. Or maybe he met him there.

“Hey,” he said, sounding a little sheepish and very awkward. That was the man who made his mother come three times? “Uh… Sorry about last night.”

“It’s fine,” Pran said and shrugged. “You can sit,” he told him and pointed at the seat in front of him. “She won’t wake up for another hour probably, if you were waiting for her.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I was gonna leave either way,” he said, even though he sat down in front of him. “She definitely mentioned she had a son. I just thought you’d be like… Ten or something.”

“She looks younger, right?” Pran asked and leaned back in his seat. “I’m twenty-one.”

“Oh, thank God,” Pat said and let out a sigh as he chuckled. “I was afraid I’d be younger than you… That’d be awkward.”

“Not really. How old are you?”

“Twenty-six,” he replied easily. “I’m Pat, by the way.”

“Oh, I heard,” Pran said and let out a chuckle. “I’m Pran.”

“Right, uhm… Sorry,” Pat said a little awkwardly.

“Oh, I’m used to it, don’t worry.”

Pat chuckled and Pran looked at him, noticing that he had a beautiful smile.

“Right, well… I’m gonna go. It was nice meeting you,” he said before he got up and left.

And he thought that would be the last time he saw Pat; he was way too young for his mom. She always went for more put-together men. But apparently, Pat had been way too good in bed to pass up. Because he saw him again, or rather, heard of him again, when he was woken up a few nights later by the banging on the wall and his mother moaning Pat’s name.

“Oh God, Pat, right there,” he heard her moan just as he stirred awake. “Don’t stop, that’s so deep…” 

She wasn’t usually that vocal, which meant that Pat was big. 

He let out a long sigh and got up from his bed; his bedroom was way too close to his mother’s; at least in the bedroom, he wouldn’t hear it that much. He was wrong. God, Pat must be incredible in bed if he had her making those noises. Pran could make a drinking game and take a shot every time she moaned ‘I’m gonna come’, and he’d end up in the hospital by the end of it.

They stopped, at some point, Pran wasn’t even checking how long they’d been going at it for. But he was glad they were done, because he was starting to get jealous about his mother’s sex life, and that was the first time that happened. Maybe he needed to get laid; it’d been a while since the last time. 

Before Pran decided to go back to bed, someone came out of the room. And it wasn’t his mom.

“Jesus Christ," Pat whispered, flinching when he saw his silhouette in the kitchen. He hadn’t turned on the lights and he was just leaning against the kitchen aisle with his phone in his hands and a tea by his side. “You need to stop doing that,” Pat told him, finger raised. Pran couldn’t help the chuckle he let out.

“Sorry,” he said as he laughed. Pat walked over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He was wearing a pair of joggers but no shirt. Pran averted his gaze; he couldn’t be lusting over the guy who just fucked his mom.

“Why don’t you just turn on the light?” Pat asked after drinking some water.

“It messes with your sleep, you know? If you turn on the lights, you won’t be able to go back to sleep, or at least it will be harder.” 

“Huh, didn’t know that,” Pat mumbled and leaned back on the counter. “Did we… Did we wake you up?” He asked, clearly a little embarrassed about the whole situation.

“‘Ya think?” Pran asked with an eyebrow raised, which made him chuckle.

“Dude, it must be a little weird. I’m fucking your mom.”

“A lot of men have fucked my mom, you’re not special.”

“Wow, okay. So this is… Common?”

“I mean, you’re the only one she’s fucking right now, if that’s what you’re wondering.”

“No, I don’t care, that’s not what I meant… I mean— Never mind.”

“What?” Pran pressed, and Pat bit his lip, thinking about how to phrase it. 

“Do you always hear her?”

“Not always, but yeah, sometimes.”

“And it’s not weird for you? I think I’d be traumatized if I heard my parents having sex.” 

“Good thing you’re not my dad, right?” Pran said, eyebrow raised, he made Pat chuckle again. And Pran wanted to keep making him laugh.

“You know what I mean…”

“I don’t know, I’m used to it. I’ve heard her enough times and caught her a few too. She’s heard me too.”

“You’re joking,” Pat said, eyes bulging out from surprise.

“Dude, I just heard your name being moaned a thousand times, and you think it’s weird that she heard me having sex?” Pran asked, and Pat rolled his eyes, seeing his point. “I don’t know, she never taught me that sex is something to be ashamed of. So I don’t think it’s weird…” He continued and shrugged. “Did you know that we’re the only species that gets squeamish about having sex in front of each other?”

“No, I didn’t…”

“Listen, I don’t think it’s weird. I’m just annoyed that you woke me up.”

“Right, sorry. I guess I didn’t realize we were being that loud…” Pat mumbled and looked down. “You have… Class tomorrow or something?”

“Yeah, but it’s not early, don’t worry.”

“You’re in uni, right?”

“Yeah, my last year, hopefully.”

“What are you studying?” Pat asked, and Pran was surprised Pat was keeping up the conversation. He was even leaning against the counter next to him, and they were whispering a little bit since they didn’t want to be too loud and wake up Dissaya. It felt a little intimate.

“Architecture.”

“You like it?”

“Unfortunately,” he replied, making Pat chuckle.

“Why do you say that?”

“It’s life draining…”

“But probably better paid than what I’m doing,” Pat said and let out a laugh. Pran nodded at him, prompting him to tell him what he meant. “Acting.”

“Ouch, yeah, good luck.” 

“Thanks, I’ll need it.” 

“You’ve been on anything I might know?” Pran asked curiously.

“Not really. I get really minor roles here and there, you know, delivery guy, barista… I’m lucky if I get any lines. It’s hard to get a breakout role… I mostly live off of side-gigs,” Pat explained and shrugged.

“I’m sure you’ll find something,” Pran said easily, only because he would kill to see someone as handsome as Pat on the big screen. Pat smiled widely, probably not expecting the encouragement from him.

That was the first time they got friendly with each other. Somehow, it was extremely easy to talk to Pat. They talked about anything and everything. Pran’s classes, Pat’s failed auditions, the TV shows or movies they were watching. He barely even noticed the age difference when he talked to him, because there was barely any there. They almost always talked over breakfast or during the night after they woke up Pran. He was still trying to see him just as what he was: his mom’s current boyfriend.

“You know, my mom is seeing this new guy,” Pran told Wai over lunch once. They were still on campus, and they had just finished their classes. They’d been best friends since high school.

“He nice?” Wai asked nonchalantly.

“Yeah, I guess,” Pran mumbled and looked down. Wai slowly looked up from his plate when he heard him.

“What was that?”

“What?” Pran asked, mouth full now.

“You hesitated. Do you not like him?”

“No, he’s fine…”

“Pran,” Wai pressed with an arched eyebrow. “You don’t have to lie to me. You know I won’t judge you for not liking him.”

“No, it’s not that. I do like him,” Pran said easily and rolled his eyes at the words. “The problem is… I might like him a little too much…?” He mumbled, looking down. He only slowly raised his head when he didn’t get a vocal reaction from Wai. He was just staring at him, eyes wide as saucers and mouth agape. “Okay, say something.”

“Pran, holy shit,” he finally snapped, slamming his hands on the table. “You like your stepdad?” He asked, and Pran immediately tried to shush him.

“No, he’s not my stepdad. I’m not even sure if they’re actually dating, okay?” Pran clarified. “And it’s weird because… He’s twenty-six.”

“What? Seriously?” Wai asked, dumbfounded. “That’s weird, your mom doesn’t usually go for younger guys, does she?”

“Not really, but he’s like… Insanely good in bed, apparently. So I think she’s making an exception.”

“It’s fucking with your head, isn’t it? That he’s so young…” Wai guessed.

“I just… I can’t see him as her boyfriend. They have a lot of sex, yeah. But I don’t really see them together, and we talk, like… A lot.”

“You guys talk?”

“He’s really sweet.”

“Sweet is very different from just being hot, Pran. Do you like-like him?”

“No,” Pran replied a little too fast to be true. Wai only arched an eyebrow at him. “Let’s not talk about it, okay? I’m sure it won’t last too long and then I won’t see him again…”

Pran was still trying to keep his distance from Pat when it came to anything sex related. He heard them, sure, but he tried not to think about Pat that way. It was hard, though, especially when Pat started spending more time in their apartment.

It became a problem when Pran really needed to go to the bathroom, and Pat had been showering for far too long. At one point, he gave up, thinking that it was ridiculous that he couldn’t go to the bathroom in his own house. So he walked up and knocked on the door. 

“Pat, how long are you gonna be in there? I gotta pee,” Pran complained, pounding on the door as he heard the shower run. After pounding a couple more times, the shower didn’t turn off, but the lock on the door opened. Pran stared at it confusedly for a couple of seconds before he opened it slowly.

When he walked in, Pat was just closing the shower door again.

“Just come in, I don’t care,” Pat told him nonchalantly as he continued to shower. 

Pran was taken aback, but he still really had to pee, so he went to the toilet and raised the lid. At least the shower muffled any noise he was making, so he didn’t feel too embarrassed.

But when he was washing his hands, he couldn’t help but look up at the mirror and see the reflection of Pat showering. It was a little blurry due to the condensation on the glass door of the shower. But he could still see him pretty clearly, and he was just as ripped as he’d imagined. His eyes travelled down his body, and Pran shivered when he saw him running his hands on his legs and in between them as he cleaned himself. He was big, as far as he could see. He wished he could see it more clearly. 

He flinched and looked down at his hands when Pat turned off the shower and wiped his hand on the glass.

“Pran?”

“Yeah…?” Pran asked, looking down at his hands, still too nervous to look up at him.

“The water, it's turning cold,” he pointed out, and Pran immediately realized that he’d been washing his hands for a long time with the water running.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” Pran apologized and immediately turned the water off before he ran out of the bathroom. 

After that, it was pretty clear to him that he wanted Pat. And not just to get along with him. He wanted to be in that room with him instead of his mom; he wanted to be near him, under him, literally anywhere that involved Pat. He jerked off more often and tried to forget about it. Because that’s what it was, he was just horny. 

And then it wasn’t just that. Pat was nice.

“Hey, how the hell are you up right now?” Pat asked one night when he walked out of the bathroom. It was currently five a.m. “You’re an early riser.”

“I never went to sleep,” Pran mumbled, not taking his eyes off the screen of his laptop. He had a final in a few hours, and he needed to pass, or he wouldn’t graduate. 

“What? I didn’t see you here when we came in…” Pat mumbled and stood next to him.

“I was in my room, I moved here after the second round,” he mumbled, writing down something in his notes. 

“Sorry… But you need to go to sleep. It’s very late…”

“No, I can’t. I have a final that I need to pass.”

“And you will, but you won’t be able to do it if you haven’t slept.”

“Oh, it’s fine, I’ll just drink some coffee and do it. I’ll sleep after it.”

“Pran, that is definitely not healthy.”

“I don’t care, I just—” Pran cut himself off when he felt Pat’s hands on his shoulders. He suppressed a gasp when Pat squeezed his shoulders. The worst thing was: he really needed that massage. His shoulders were sore from hunching over his laptop while he studied.

“You need to relax,” Pat said, massaging his shoulders slowly. Pran closed his eyes and frowned, trying not to moan. “Nothing else will go into your brain, Pran. Not if it stops functioning…” Pran wanted to debate that, but Pat’s hands felt so good on him. “What time do you have the exam?”

“Ten…” Pran whispered, his eyes still closed as he leaned into the touch.

“Okay, that gives you about four hours of sleep. Five if I drive you. What do you say?”

“Pat, I can’t—” Pran started to say, but had to stop to press his lips together when Pat pressed a sensitive spot, and he almost let out a moan.

“I’ll make sure you wake up, don’t worry. Just trust me, you’ll be fine,” Pat said easily, squeezing his shoulders and practically making him melt in his seat. “Give that big brain of yours a break…” 

Pran let out a loud groan and buried his face between his hands, rubbing it frustratedly.

“Fine,” he said finally, raising his head. “But you promise you’ll wake me up?”

“I promise, go,” Pat told him and pushed him towards his bedroom.

Pran passed out the second his head hit the pillow. He’d been nodding off while he studied, so it wasn’t hard to fall asleep. He couldn’t even be nervous about the exam because of how tired he was. 

And Pat kept his promise. At nine-thirty, he felt someone shaking his shoulder and calling out his name softly. He groaned, wanting to sleep a little longer. But Pat made sure he woke up. He barely even got dressed, just changing his shirt and dragging himself to Pat’s car with his backpack. He fell asleep in the car on the way there. And when he woke up, there was a cup of coffee on the centre console waiting for him.

“Thank you for driving me,” Pran mumbled, undoing his seatbelt.

“It’s fine. Good luck on your exam, you’re gonna do great.”

“Yeah, I hope so,” Pran said, snorting before he opened the door. He looked back at Pat one last time and saw his soft smile directed at him. 

Sitting down in his class, with his final in front of him. Every answer became clear in his head now that he’d rested for a bit. He looked up from his paper and looked at the cup of coffee Pat had gotten him. It had Pat’s name on it, since he bought it, and a cute smiley face that immediately made him smile. Pran had always been fond of smiley faces.

The whole thing didn’t feel like when one of his mom’s boyfriends did something for him. It all felt like when his boyfriend did something for him. And that’s how he knew, he was completely and utterly fucked.

After that, everything became worse. Or better, depending on how you looked at it. He got closer to Pat. Because he and his mom usually met up on Fridays, and his mom never woke up early on the weekends, but Pat apparently did. So they had breakfast together, or they’d run into each other in the kitchen at late hours of the night. Pat only stayed during the weekends, but it was enough. 

“I was hoping you’d be here…” Pat said one night when he walked into the kitchen and found Pran in there. His heart leapt at those words; he was looking for him? “I am starving. What are you making?” He asked, looking curiously at the pot in front of him. Pran tried to ignore how close he stood behind him.

“Ramen, I was studying, and I forgot to eat dinner…” Pran replied, stirring the pot. “You guys didn’t eat?”

“Well, she did, but I didn’t. It was a cocktail dinner, so everyone was standing around, and most of the canapés were made of fish. And I’m allergic to shellfish,” he explained, leaning back against the counter. “So the wine got a little to my head…”

“And she ate?” Pran asked, already reaching for another packet of noodles to add to the pot.

“Yeah, she’s asleep right now.”

“You guys can’t kiss if she ate something you’re allergic to…”

“It’s not that severe, it was fine…” Pat replied and shrugged. Pran shook his head slowly. If it were up to him, Pat would’ve eaten something, and he definitely wouldn’t have eaten something his partner was allergic to. But then again, they weren’t dating.

“Don’t you get bored at those events?”

“Not really. I’m kind of an arm candy for her. I’m gonna sound narcissistic, but I like the attention,” Pat replied and chuckled. “Her coworkers are very jealous, even some guys. I’m like this shiny new thing that they can sink their claws into. They spend the night asking me questions. And the places are always nice, or the food, except this time, obviously.”

“I imagine everyone tries to flirt with you…”

“Yeah, but your mom is the only one that doesn’t act like it’s such a big deal that I’m young… She’s pretty open-minded.”

“I know, yeah. It has its perks. She didn’t even bat an eye when I came out. I think she knew before I did…” 

“You only like men?” Pat asked curiously.

“Unfortunately…” Pat immediately chuckled when he heard him say that.

“You sound like my sister,” he commented, and Pran perked up. It was the first time he heard him say anything about his personal life. He turned off the fire and started putting two servings into two different pots. 

Pat grabbed a pair of chopsticks and gave another pair to Pran.

“Younger or older?” He asked casually.

“Younger. Bit younger than you, actually, she’s in college right now. But she definitely doesn’t take it as seriously as you do…” He explained and chuckled.

“I wish I didn’t. It’s just in my system. Both of my parents work in architecture.” Pat frowned and looked up. He could tell he was curious about his dad, since he wasn’t in the picture. “I see him like twice a year…”

“Oh, okay…” Pat said, clearly not wanting to intrude. “Do you get along with him?”

“Yeah, he’s nice. He just lives abroad,” he replied, shrugging. “Do you get along with your parents?”

“Are you asking me if I have mommy issues?” Pat asked with an eyebrow raised, already chuckling.

“Well, it would explain a lot…” Pran joked and they both started laughing, still trying to keep it down since they didn’t want to wake up Dissaya.

“Surprisingly, I get along very well with my mom. My dad and I clash sometimes, but it’s just because we’re similar. And also because I wanted to pursue acting.”

“He didn’t like it?”

“No, I dropped out in my first year of uni. I just… I hated it. And I ended up doing a school play, which made me realize what I actually wanted to do.”

“Wow, that’s… Brave.”

“I know, I did some acting courses, but it’s been years and I haven’t done anything substantial. So, of course, my dad thinks I’m a failure.”

“You’ve only tried acting?”

“No, I’ve tried a lot of other stuff in the entertainment business to see what pays off. I did some modelling work too. But that also never took off,” Pat replied and shrugged. Pran desperately wanted to ask him where those pictures were; he needed to see them. “It’s a hard business to break into. I may be young for your mom, but I’m not young for most casting directors.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Yeah, I just realized that’s what I wanted to do a little too late…”

“It’s okay, I’m sure you’ll find something,” Pran said nonchalantly and shrugged.

Pat smiled widely, like he hadn’t heard anyone tell him that. His smile was so refreshing, he almost wanted to stay in that kitchen, talking to him, all night long. But they both ended up going to sleep. When he woke up the next day, Pat was already gone, and his mom was having breakfast, which meant that he’d woken up late. 

“Hey,” he mumbled, sitting down in front of her and reaching for a toast.

“Morning, honey, did you sleep well?” She asked nonchalantly while she typed on her phone, probably work. Pran only hummed and nodded. He waited a few beats before he decided to say something.

“Hey, what is…” Pran started to say, hesitating. “What’s the deal with Pat?”

“What do you mean?” Dissaya asked confusedly and looked up at him.

“Like… Is it serious between you two?”

“Does it look serious?” She asked with an eyebrow raised.

“Well, no, but he’s been around for a while.”

“Yeah, I know, he’s nice, I guess. He fixed the broken sink, did you notice?” She said with a smile.

“I noticed, yeah.”

“You don’t like him?”

“No, no, he’s great. I was just… Curious.”

“You get along with him, right?”

“Yeah, I do. I’m just not used to seeing someone around so much if you’re not serious about it.”

“I get along with him, you do too, and he’s great in bed,” she said with a smile.

“Oh, I heard, don’t worry,” Pran mumbled and let out a snort.

“Good, just let me know if he bothers you or anything,” she said as she got up, since she was done with breakfast. She walked behind him and left a kiss on the top of his head.

“No, he’s fine…” Pran mumbled as she left.

And that was the only conversation he had with his mother about Pat. Which was not enlightening at all. Maybe he should’ve told her that he was bothering him, that way his mom would stop seeing him. She always trusted his gut and left men who weren’t nice to him or that he didn’t like. But he couldn’t do that to Pat, and he liked having him around. He just needed to ignore all the moaning and the jealousy. At least they never kissed in front of him, that’d be wrong.

It was the first time he had problems seeing one of his mom’s boyfriends. But he was just so young, and he looked young too. The first time he saw him, he thought he was his age. He was used to his friends or classmates making some comments about his mom and lusting for her. She was younger than most parents, clearly attractive, and successful. Pran was popular in high school partly because they all knew he had ‘a cool mom’, which usually meant that she let them stay at their house and do whatever they wanted. She wasn’t that cool to Pran; she still required him to have the best grades in his class, and be well-behaved, he didn’t drink until he was eighteen, aside from the odd wine glass he had under her supervision during dinners. 

So he was used to everyone having a little bit of a crush on his mom; that wasn’t new. He just never thought she would actually sleep with someone so young, and it was messing with his head. Clearly a little too much, if his friends noticed that he was acting weird.

“Pran, hey,” Ink said, snapping her fingers in front of him when she noticed he wasn’t paying attention.

“Uh, sorry, what did you say?” He asked, shaking his head.

“Dude, what’s wrong? You’ve been out of it for days…” Safe pointed out.

“Yeah, well, cut him some slack, he’s in love with his mother’s boyfriend. He’s gonna need therapy for a lifetime,” Wai said and let out a loud chuckle. Everyone at the table snapped their heads to look at him.

“Wai!” Pran yelled, not wanting to be exposed like that. But he immediately turned to his friends to fix it. “It’s not as bad as it sounds, I swear,” he said and raised his hands. “He’s twenty-six and the hottest man I’ve ever seen, okay? I don’t even think they’re dating seriously, he's just… Around.”

“Pran, oh my God,” Ink mumbled and covered her mouth. “That’s still bad…”

“I know!” Pran said and buried his face in his hands. “But he’s so sweet and nice, and he makes me laugh… And apparently he’s amazing in bed…”

“How do you know—” Safe started to ask, but then he realized. “Oh God, you can hear them?” 

“Shut up,” Pran mumbled and buried his face between his hands. 

“I think I would stop talking to my mom…” Louis mumbled, and Pran looked up.

“Why? I mean, they’re two consenting adults. I’m the problem here.”

“Pran, it’s not normal to hear your mom having sex,” Wai reminded him.

“Sure, but I’ve never had to hide a boyfriend and I can always bring them home without having to sneak around,” he explained and shrugged. “It’s just annoying that I can’t sleep.”

“Are they that loud?”

“My mom has slept with many men, but none as good as Pat, apparently.”

“You know, it might be because she’s older now. So younger guys all look like they’re good in bed, but they’re just… Really horny.”

“Jesus, she’s forty-two, not sixty,” Pran said and rolled his eyes. “And Pat’s not a horny teenager, he’s a grown adult.”

“Yeah, and you wanna fuck him,” Ink pointed out.

“Can we not talk about this right now? I’m already fucked as it is, and I’m not even getting laid.”

“That’d be a good idea, wouldn’t it? Get fucked too and let them hear you,” Wai suggested with a smile.

“Wai, that’s a terrible idea,” Pran snapped and immediately wrote it down in his mind as something he had to do in the future.

His friends were never much help when he was that deep. Because now he was thirsting every Saturday morning at the sight of a shirtless Pat making eggs. He was so distracted by a very hot half-dressed man in his kitchen that he barely noticed that all the milk was spilling from his spoon before he got it in his mouth.

“Pran, you want any?” Pat asked distractedly. Pran hummed, nodding slowly and then realizing that Pat couldn’t see him.

“Uh, yeah, sure,” he replied, trying to sound nonchalant and not like he was memorizing the moles on his back or the way his muscles moved. Pat looked back and smiled at him before he looked back down at the pan. 

He flinched and immediately looked down at his bowl when he heard the door to his mother’s room open and the sound of her heels walking to the living room. 

“Hey, good morning,” she said, sounding chipper. Of course she did; she had sex with Pat last night. “Guys, I gotta run. I have a work emergency, okay?” She told them and messed up Pran’s hair before she leaned in and kissed his head. “I’ll see you later, honey. Pat, don’t forget to use my code so they don’t charge you for the parking. I’ll text you later.”

“Okay, bye,” Pat said without turning around. Pran was at least glad that they never kissed in front of him. His mom wasn’t really big on PDA, but she would at least kiss them goodbye. He went back to ogling Pat and immediately noticed that they were alone in the house… That hadn’t happened before. He gulped, looking down when Pat turned and trying to act nonchalant. 

“Any plans for the weekend?” Pat asked and left the eggs in the middle of the table.

“Choke on pieces of plastic while trying to make my model due on Monday.”

“What? You’re not going out?”

“All of my friends are choking on assignments and finals, nobody is going out, Pat. We’re not freshmen.”

“Right, I guess I only experienced the good part of college before dropping out,” Pat said and let out a chuckle before he seemed to realize something. “Hey, why don’t you come out with me?” 

“What?”

“I’m going out with a few friends tonight. You should come, I always see you studying. Maybe you need to clear your head for one night.”

“I don’t know…”

“Come on, my treat, you won’t even have to pay for the alcohol,” he said with a smile. And Pran couldn’t say no to that smile.

“Okay, fine.”

“Great,” Pat said, looking happy about it. Pran wondered if he actually wanted to spend time with him or if he was just being nice because he was dating his mom.

He left a little while later, promising to pick him up at night. Pran spent two hours in his room that afternoon trying to find something to wear. But nothing satisfied him.

“Hey, you’re going out?” His mom asked when she saw him get ready. She was leaning against the doorframe.

“Yeah, uh… Pat invited me out, he said I’m studying too much,” he replied, hesitating because he didn’t know how she’d react.

“He’s right,” she said with a smile. “Is he picking you up?”

“Yeah, in like half an hour.”

“Alright, honey, have fun. Don’t drink too much, okay?” 

He hummed, watching her go; he didn’t think it’d be that easy, but she didn’t seem to care. He finally settled on a pair of black jeans and a blue oversized shirt with the first few buttons open. He looked at himself in the mirror before leaving. Was he actually dressing up to impress his mom’s boyfriend? Had he gotten to that point of no return? Sure, he was hot, he liked him, but he didn’t want to do anything about his crush. At least as far as he knew.

Pat smiled at him as soon as he saw him approach his car; it was always so refreshing to him to see him smiling and know that it was directed at him.

The drive to the bar wasn’t too long, but it was definitely an area that he wasn’t familiar with. Apparently, Pat’s best friend owned a bar there.

“Hey, guys,” Pat greeted his friends when they walked in, three guys, probably the same age as Pat, sitting at one of the tables and already drinking. “This is Pran,” he introduced him before they sat down.

Pat got a beer for him, as promised, and they started talking, including Pran in the conversation. There was Korn, Pat’s best friend and the owner of the bar. And then Mo and Chang, who apparently needed to vent about their work and girlfriends a lot over alcohol. Korn was single, and Pat didn’t mention anything. He wondered if they knew anything about their relationship, if they knew that Pat was fucking his mom. He didn’t say anything in case Pat hadn’t told them. 

He was having fun at least; he was in his element. They reminded him a lot of his friends and all the nights they used to spend at the bar Wai worked at when they were still freshmen and had time to do that kind of stuff. He hadn’t had one of those nights in a very long time, and he felt good around Pat and his friends.

Pat was competitive; he didn’t know that about him. He kept making bets with his friends to see who would buy the next round. 

“Why do you even want another one? You haven’t even finished this one,” Pran said, pointing at his glass, which made Pat chuckle and his friends laugh at him. He was probably just not drinking that much because he was driving, but he liked teasing him.

“It’s not about the drinks, it’s about winning,” Pat said, leaning closer. He had a hand resting casually on the back of Pran’s chair and Pran was tipsy enough that he couldn’t tell how close they were. He just knew that Pat’s eyes looked gorgeous from that distance.

“Fine, how about this? The last one to finish their drink pays,” Pran said and pointed at their glasses, which had about the same amount of beer.

“Fine,” Pat said and grabbed his glass. Pran did the same and was about to start drinking, but Pat grabbed his arm. “Like this,” he told him, hooking their arms together and bringing the glass close to his mouth. Pran didn’t think they’d be that close, but Pat was looking at him with determination in his eyes. 

“Okay, ready,” Korn said to their left, but Pran couldn’t look away from Pat. “Go!”

He started drinking as soon as Pat did, and he focused on finishing it. But when he was halfway through, he looked at Pat again and saw him already looking back. He almost choked on his drink, but he pushed through and frowned in determination, drinking faster without breaking eye contact with Pat. Apparently, it distracted Pat enough that he was able to win.

Pran practically slammed his empty glass on the table once he was done.

“Ha! I win!” He yelled, pointing at him and getting in his face a little too closely. He only noticed he’d done that when he was met with a very handsome Pat, looking down at him with a smile like he thought it was endearing that Pran beat him.

“Ooh, you gotta pay, Pat,” his friends started teasing him immediately after.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Pat said, but didn’t wipe the smile off his face or look away from Pran. He could feel his heart beating faster the longer he looked at him. He eventually got up to pay for his friend’s drinks, but Pran still had to compose himself after he left.

The music at the bar started getting louder as the hours passed, they were yelling more and getting drunker, getting up and talking to the strangers at the tables near theirs. At one point, while Pran was talking to Korn, Pat got up to look for another round. When Pran noticed that he was taking too long, he looked over at the bar. His heart stopped when he saw him talking to a girl, smiling warmly as he nodded his head to whatever she was telling him.

Korn had to get up to fix something at the bar, so Pran was left alone at the table, looking at Pat flirting with someone else. He didn’t even know if he and his mom were exclusive. His mom wasn’t seeing anyone else, but maybe she didn’t care if Pat was. There was no reason for him to get mad. But the worst part was, he wasn’t even mad for his mom. He was just jealous. He wished Pat had stayed at the table, talking to him like he’d been doing, flirting with him, even though it was probably all in his head.

He let out a sigh and looked down at the table, noticing that there were no drinks left. It was time to go.

He got up, staggering a little and noticing that he was drunker than he thought he was. As he walked up to Pat, he wondered if he should just leave without saying goodbye. But that wouldn’t be nice. So he placed a hand on Pat’s shoulder to get his attention.

“Hey, I think I’m gonna go,” Pran said, yelling a little bit so he could hear him over the music. Pat turned to him, looking surprised.

“What? Already?”

“Yeah, I’m not feeling too hot right now. I’m just gonna go sleep it off, okay? I’ll see you next week.”

“Wait, wait,” Pat said and grabbed his arm before he left. The girl who’d been talking to Pat had already left. “Do you want me to drive you?”

“What? No, it’s fine. I’ll just… Get a cab or something, maybe walk.”

“Yeah, no, your mom is gonna kill me.”

“Pat, I’m twenty-one, not fifteen. I’ve walked home from parties before,” Pran said and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, never from one I invited you to, and probably not from this area, rich boy. Let’s go,” Pat told him and threw an arm over his shoulders.

“I’m fine, I can go by myself—”

“Not listening,” Pat told him, walking out with him. Pran snorted and leaned his head to the side, noticing that he’d placed it on Pat’s shoulder by accident.

Pat had barely drunk anything since he was driving, so he looked pretty sober. Pran just focused on not throwing up in his car all the way back to his house. He was barely able to keep up a conversation with Pat, nodding at everything he was saying. Pat parked in front of his house and Pran almost didn’t want to get out.

“Hey, thanks for driving me,” he said, filling the silence in the car now that it was parked.

“It’s fine, did you have fun at least?”

“Yeah,” Pran replied with a smile, turning to look at him.

“Are you feeling better?”

“Now a little. I probably won’t tomorrow…”

“Just drink some water before going to bed.”

“Cool, okay,” Pran mumbled and undid the seatbelt. “Do you wanna—?” He started to ask, pointing upstairs, but Pat immediately shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. She’s probably asleep already.”

“Alright, see you the—” he started to say, opening the door, but Pat cut him off.

“Did you get your dimples from your dad?” He asked suddenly and Pran whipped his head to look at him.

“What?”

“Your dimples,” Pat said, painting his cheek. “Your mom doesn’t have them.”

“Oh, uh… No, my dad doesn’t either…”

“Really? They’re just your very own unique trait?” Pat asked. Pran hummed and nodded with a smile, not a lot of people noticed them. “They’re cute,” he said easily and Pran’s heart skipped a beat.

“Thank you,” he replied, voice weak and a little shaky, hoping Pat hadn’t noticed. “I’m gonna—” He started to say and opened the car door finally, but since he was leaning against it, he practically fell off. “Shit,” he cursed, getting up as well as he could. “Shouldn’t have drunk that much…” He mumbled, and heard Pat chuckle.

“Bye, Pran.”

“Bye,” Pran said and leaned down to wave at him before he closed the car door and saw him drive away. 

When he tried to fall asleep that night, he couldn’t shake the picture of Pat flirting with that girl and what it made him feel. He hoped he didn’t feel that level of jealousy whenever he saw him with his mom.

His father was visiting town that week, which barely ever happened, so he went out to have lunch with him. He wasn’t really present. But he’d never been, so Pran didn’t mind.

He was very aware that he’d been a mistake. Because his mom had him at twenty-one when she was right about to finish college. His dad and her never actually dated; they were just messing around in college because they shared a few classes.

She wanted to keep him, but his father didn’t. So they came to the agreement that Dissaya would take care of him and wouldn’t bother him about it. And when Pran turned seven, his father reached out, wanting to help out with money since he’d gotten a high-paying job. Dissaya agreed to let them meet.

He got along with him fine, but he barely saw him because he lived abroad. So they met every six months or so and had lunch or dinner together. They obviously didn’t have a father-son relationship, but they were fine. He liked him.

“When is your graduation?” His dad asked, sipping his glass of wine. They were having lunch on a terrace of a restaurant. Close to the hotel where his father was staying. It was sunny outside, and Pran was wearing sunglasses. They always ate outside because his father was a heavy smoker. At least it was a nice day out.

“July,” Pran replied and pushed up his glasses.

“I’ll try to make it, but I can’t make any promises…”

“It’s fine. As long as you don’t back out on that trip you promised me,” Pran replied with a shrug.

“Everything’s booked, don’t worry,” he said with a smile. He had promised to pay for a trip for him to go to Europe the summer after he graduated. Because he said he needed to see the world before he started working. “I can still add a ticket if you want to take someone with you.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m not dating anyone right now, and none of my friends can go…” Pran said nonchalantly. “Plus, I like travelling by myself.”

“Good, you’re gonna love it.”

“I know, thank you,” Pran replied with a smile and reached for his glass too. “How are the kids?”

“Pran, they’re technically your brothers, you know their names, you can use them.”

“Step-brothers, and they’re five, Dad. I’ve seen them once. I’m being polite right now, I don’t actually care,” Pran said and rolled his eyes. His father had gotten married, had a pair of twins, and then got a divorce three years later.

“Well, for your information, they’re starting school next year.”

“Great, just in time for me to… Graduate college,” Pran joked and pulled a laugh out of him. “They’re a little annoying, aren’t they?”

“They’re my kids.”

“I wasn’t annoying, for your information. Never cried, I was the perfect kid. You just weren’t around to see that,” Pran teased, even though he didn’t actually care; he just liked seeing his dad get nervous about it.

“Hey, listen, I’ve been waiting for this moment,” he started leaning in and pointing at him. “I was your age when your mother had you. Imagine having a kid right now.”

Pran immediately pulled a face and leaned back.

“Oh God no…” He exclaimed and sipped from his wine.

“Yeah, that’s right. So don’t blame me. What your mother did was very brave. And… Yeah, my balls aren’t that big.” Pran snorted when he heard that and nodded slowly.

“Good to know.”

“How’s your mom?” He asked, tapping the cigarette on his fingers to drop the ashes on the ashtray.

“Fine,” Pran said, fixing his sunglasses when he got a little nervous.

“Seeing anyone right now?”

“Yeah, she’s seeing this guy…”

“You like him?”

“He’s… Young,” Pran replied and his dad raised an eyebrow at him, surprised.

“How young?”

“Twenty-six.”

“Oh, wow, that is young. She doesn’t usually go for younger, does she?”

“No, she doesn’t.”

“Must be weird for you.”

“It’s fine, he’s nice,” Pran replied and shrugged, but his father frowned.

“Something’s off about you. Is he secretly an asshole and your mom hasn’t found out?”

“I wish…” Pran said and rolled his eyes.

“Then what is it? Oh wait… Did you sleep with him before she did? And you haven’t told her yet?” He guessed and Pran snorted.

“I wish—” He repeated out of instinct and froze as soon as he said it. His dad raised his eyebrows in surprise but still smiled, like the response amused him. Pran let out a long sigh, guessing that there was no backing out now. “I just wish I didn’t find out like this that Mom and I have the same type…”

“She birthed you, what do you expect?”

“Can I have one?” Pran asked and pointed at the cigarette in his father’s hands.

“Oh, that bad?” He asked, letting out a laugh as he reached for another cigarette.

“I’m going insane, Dad. This is sick,” Pran mumbled and placed the cigarette between his lips. He leaned over the table so his dad could light it.

“Pran, he’s twenty-six, he could be your boyfriend, it’s not that weird.”

“He’s straight and fucking Mom. It’s fucking weird.”

“Ah, but the heart doesn’t choose, does it?” He said with a smile.

“Can you two be a little less open-minded? Jesus…” Pran mumbled and rolled his eyes, letting out the smoke.

“I used to have a crush on my best friend’s stepmom…” He said and let out the smoke like he was remembering good times. “She was young, and we all suspected that she married his dad for money…”

“That’s different, Dad. That was your best friend; she wasn’t married to your dad.”

“Oh, he liked her as well; everyone in our friend group did. I was just the only one who actually had sex with her,” he replied nonchalantly with a smile, and Pran started coughing out the smoke.

“Jesus. How old were you?”

“You don’t wanna know. Point is, you’re an adult, and she’s probably not even serious about the relationship. You two haven’t done anything. And if it starts making you uncomfortable, you can just tell her,” he replied and shrugged. “You’re not doing anything wrong, Pran.”

Pran stared at him with a deep frown; even his friends had been more judgmental and put him in his place when they found out.

“God, I wish you were just a little bit homophobic.”

“No, you don’t,” his father said and chuckled. “Have fun, Pran. You’re young, you can be a little immoral, or dumb; make mistakes, who cares? You don’t want to have regrets in life. You don’t wanna look back, years later and think: ‘I should’ve done something’. That’s the worst that can happen. I don’t have any regrets, your mom doesn’t either. She’s not in love, she’s not gonna hold you accountable.”

“Sure, Dad, great advice,” he mumbled and reached for the glass again.

“Hey, at least now you know for sure that he’s great in bed if your mom’s keeping him around…”

“Dad, fuck off,” Pran snapped, making him laugh loudly. He couldn’t help but chuckle too.

He didn’t know if being close to Pat was better or worse; they got along like friends, not like the guys his mother dated. They argued over breakfast about dirty dishes, teasing each other, and they had late-night talks only lit by the refrigerator light. It was messing with his head, and he was slipping further and further in love with Pat. 

At least his friends always kept him in check, reminding him that despite what his open-minded parents might think, it was still bad. That was until they saw Pat, obviously. 

His mom had texted him that morning, asking him when he‘d be done with one of his exams, because they needed to meet his grandma for a family reunion that he’d forgotten about. His grandma didn’t live close by, so they had to leave the house early.

Pat was obviously not coming, but he was picking him up from campus so he could get home in time to grab the train with his mom. Because she was too busy to pick him up.

“Oh God, that’s him?” Wai asked, jaw slack. Pran almost wanted to slap himself when he saw him. Pat was leaning against his motorbike, which he didn’t even know he had, as he scrolled on his phone. He looked straight out of a wet dream, with his leather jacket folded on his arm and a black t-shirt that framed his muscles perfectly.

“Pran, I understand now. I would gladly star in a porno if it was with him…” Louis mumbled under his breath.

“Would you call him daddy if you two end up fucking?” Ink teased with a smile and Pran immediately snapped his head to give her a cold look. “What? Isn’t that a fantasy? Your stepdaddy?”

“That’s disgusting, and they are not getting married. Oh God…” Pran mumbled, dreading the picture. “I’m gonna go…”

“You’re getting on that bike with him? I’m so jealous…” Wai said and let out a sigh. “Ask him if he has a friend.”

“Fuck off!” Pran said as he walked away.

Pat looked up and smiled at him when he saw him approach, leaning away from his bike.

“Hey,” Pat greeted him with a wide smile.

“Hey. What’s…?” He mumbled, pointing at the bike behind him.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry, not ideal. But my car’s at the shop. I don’t usually let other people ride with me, but… I can make an exception,” he said and winked at him. Pran wanted to kill himself. “Here you go,” he said, lending him a helmet. 

Pran put it on and tried to click it while he watched Pat put on his leather jacket. He was so distracted by how hot he looked that he still hadn’t been able to properly click the helmet when Pat was done.

“Here, it has a little bit of a trick,” he mumbled, approaching him and clicking the helmet under his chin, getting a little way too close for comfort.

Pat smiled at him once he was done and he turned to get on the bike and put on his own helmet. Pran turned in the direction of his friends when he did that, they were all practically laughing at him, making crude signs now that Pat wasn’t looking. Pran showed them the middle finger and immediately turned to Pat when he spoke.

“Okay, jump in,” he told him and Pran grabbed onto the bike to get behind him.

The only bikes he’d ever been on were mopeds or smaller bikes. He’d never been on one that big. The seat immediately made him lean forward against Pat. It was one of those bikes that were so big that he had to ride it hunched over it. 

“Hold tight,” Pat said and grabbed his arms so he could put them around his waist. Pran tried to calm down his heart in case Pat could tell it was beating that quickly just by leaning against him. 

He’d always dreamed of doing that, and he couldn’t believe he was fulfilling half of his fantasies with Pat. The same man who was making his mom see God practically every week.

He barely registered the whole trip, too in his head as he tried to savour those few moments that he was so close to Pat. He was in seventh heaven, and he couldn’t even feel bad about it; his mom was the one who suggested that Pat pick him up.

He thought about Pat the entire family meeting.