Chapter Text
Berwald’s bed was bigger than Lukas’s.
Lukas didn’t mind — he had no use for a bigger bed. He and Berwald were only married in a professional sense, after all, so it’s not like they cared to sleep together.
Lukas’s old bed stayed back in Copenhagen with his (ex) husband. He sometimes wondered if Matthias noticed his absence, in the dark of night, when he had nobody to hold as he drifted asleep.
Of course he noticed. Lukas couldn’t recall a single night in which they were together where Matthias wasn’t spooning him from behind, or where Lukas wasn’t curled up onto his chest, or where the two weren’t in any other sort of embrace as they fell into slumber.
Lukas’s body, though always cold, felt especially chilled in the nights after 1814. He was grateful his bed only fit one person. He knew himself well enough to know that a bigger bed, the size of Berwald’s, would only remind him more of the absence of Matthias on his side. Logically, he knew Matthias felt the same.
It felt strange to lay on Berwald’s larger bed, topless, more vulnerable than he’s ever been with anyone other than Matthias.
A year ago, if you told Lukas he’d be willing to unite with the Kingdom of Sweden, he simply wouldn’t believe you. He wasn’t fighting for his people’s independence just to end up submitting to the Swedish crown regardless. He only declared himself independent from Denmark in the first place because of the Treaty that had forced them apart — the fact that, less than a year later, he chose to marry Berwald was a surprise to everyone involved, including himself.
His marriage with Matthias, technically speaking, was nothing more than professional. Just like his present-day marriage with Berwald.
But, unlike his present-day marriage with Berwald, Lukas loved Matthias. Sure, he constantly brushed him off, called him annoying, but his connection with Matthias meant more to him than his connection with any other Nation.
It was mere luck that allowed them to stay together for so long.
Of course, that’s not to say he didn’t have his hardships with Matthias. They had their disagreements — many, many disagreements — and Lukas frequently ended up frustrated at his lack of power against Matthias’s whims. Maybe they had a lot more arguments than the average human couple.
But they also had a lot more responsibilities than the average human, and they’ve been together longer than any human has even lived. Leaving Matthias for good — more importantly, leaving the children for good — wasn’t the answer.
And he knew that. In a perfect world, he’d be independent. His younger siblings would stay with him and he’d take care of them for as long as they all lived. Being nation-kind, that was bound to be a long while. Lukas wouldn’t be married to Matthias, but he wouldn’t be married to anyone else, either, and they’d still be able to contact each other. Living with Berwald, he couldn’t see Matthias at all, and that was weighing on him far more than any argument ever has.
Maybe his people would disagree. Maybe his people were happy to say goodbye to the Danish crown.
But he wasn’t.
Perhaps more intense than his longing for his ex-husband was his longing for his siblings. Lukas had grown accustomed to taking care of them, with all their achievements, discoveries, and hardships, and now that they were gone, spending so much time apart from them was killing him. Berwald’s kid, Astrid, wasn’t even present to fill the void that his own siblings left him, having been whisked away by Ivan along with Timo.
Lukas couldn’t help but worry about them. Matthias wasn’t a bad guy, but he was often really harsh on the people he lived with, even if unintentionally so. Most of the time he didn’t even realise how oppressive his boss could get. He was always so guilty when he did notice, which some could argue wasn’t enough to actually fix things, but Lukas felt was at least a start. Maybe he only felt that way though because he, himself, wasn’t suffering to their extent.
It’s not like Lukas actually did anything to improve his siblings’ conditions when he was living in that house, but he was at least available to provide comfort. At least big brother was there to hug the kids when they were starving under Danish rule. When the Danish-Icelandic trade monopoly drove his poor baby brother into a life of scarcity, Eiríkur at least had Lukas to confide in, even if he still didn’t have much to eat.
They didn’t have that older brother anymore. All they had now was Matthias, and Matthias was the problem.
The public realisation that alcohol was bad for you didn’t come until around the same time that Lukas left. Which meant Lukas wasn’t there to try to convince Matthias to get over his obvious alcohol problem in a time where his words may have been more effective than they used to be. He knew that Matthias was shit at dealing with negative emotions, and he knew that he would resort to drinking his sadness away and dealing with the kids when he was drunk, because no matter how much Lukas commented on his alcoholism in the past, Matthias never put in any effort to fix it. And he certainly wasn’t going to put in any effort now that Lukas was gone.
Sometimes Lukas hated how well he knew Matthias. Sometimes he wished Matthias was almost akin to a stranger to him, because maybe then he’d have a fraction of hope that he’d be able to take good care of the kids and fill the role Lukas left. Maybe then, even if he still did miss his siblings dearly, he wouldn’t be so worried.
He was sure Berwald missed Timo and Astrid just as much. Just like Lukas was forced to leave his husband and his siblings, Berwald lost his wife and son. He could sympathise with that.
(Timo wasn't a wife, really, but in the little conversation they had, Berwald always referred to him as such. Lukas didn't have any reason not to go along with it.
He wondered how Timo felt about that. Once, Matthias referred to Lukas as his “wife” when talking to some nobles, because of course the nobles wouldn't approve of a relationship between two men. Calling him a wife lessened the blow. But it still pissed Lukas off, and he gave Matthias a real piece of his mind later that day. They never really talked about their relationship being any more than professional after that— at least, not in public.
So he wondered how Timo felt whenever Berwald called him his wife. He wasn't a wife, and anyone with a functional pair of eyes could very clearly see that, but unlike with Lukas and Matthias, Timo being a “wife” seemed to be the status quo for his relationship with Berwald.)
The loss of their respective spouses left both Berwald and Lukas a yearning for another person’s touch that neither were willing to admit to each other. It was easier just to focus on their work during the daytime, and then maybe let their mind wander at night where they laid alone, just before they drifted to sleep.
It stayed that way until their feelings blossomed out of control and they couldn’t hold it back anymore.
They weren’t thinking straight that night. Of course they weren’t; they were far too drunk to have any sort of thought process coherent enough to force them to reason. Maybe, in hindsight, Lukas shouldn’t have drank so much (perhaps it was even hypocritical with how much he nagged Matthias to quit it), but how was he to know Berwald was getting just as wasted?
No matter how invincible the nations were, they were still humanoid beings, after all. They still had human limbs and minds and organs. So while they couldn’t die of liver failure the way humans could, alcohol still messed with their brains and screwed over their judgement.
They weren’t thinking about any consequences in the following days as their lips, tasting of beer, smashed together in desperation. They had not a care in the world for tomorrow morning when they drunkenly tore their clothes off each other.
“‘s bigger than his…” mumbled Lukas, his face nuzzled in Berwald’s crotch while his hand teasingly messed with the tip of his dick.
Precum drizzled down the shaft. Lukas took it upon himself to clean it up, his tongue slowly dragging up the length of his cock and scooping up a fair share of the fluid. And it just so happened to be that the precum followed the trail of a prominent vein.
He giggled when he heard the other man’s choked groan at the action. He giggled. Absolutely not anything he’d do if he was sober. Alcohol broke down some of the walls around Lukas’s mind, see, making him a lot less guarded than he usually was, and a lot easier to read.
Lukas decided it was time to stop teasing him and finally put his warm mouth over his cock. He got himself around three-quarters down the shaft before he started to struggle with it, so Berwald, frustrated, pushed his hand onto his head and forced him further down until he was essentially deepthroating him. He bobbed his head, swirling his tongue around the base of his dick, eliciting fantastic noises out of the otherwise reserved man.
Lukas brought his gaze up to Berwald. He tried to flash him a drunken smile, but of course, because his mouth was preoccupied with a dick in it, the task failed. That didn’t stop Berwald from sheepishly averting his eyes to stare at a corner of the bedroom.
Of all the words to describe Berwald, sheepish certainly wasn’t the first one that came to mind. But it wasn’t too much of a surprise. Just because his face was in a state of almost permanent indifference didn’t mean his mind was the same way. To an extent, Lukas could sympathise with that.
He supposed the alcohol just made it more visible.
Lukas woke up first the next morning. Laying naked next to Berwald, with sore legs and a foreign liquid up his ass, it didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened between them, even before the blurred memories of the night previous came flooding back to him.
He looked at Berwald, whose body was hidden by the duvet. With his bare shoulders poking out of the blanket, though, it was safe to assume he was naked as well. His glasses were god knows where and his hair was slightly askew.
Wordlessly, he climbed out of bed, trying to be silent so as to not disturb the sleeping man. He dressed himself with his clothing from yesterday before leaving and going to his own bedroom to get ready for the day. He had no intention of bringing this up to Berwald, whether he had any memory of it or not.
Staying composed around Berwald wasn’t a huge trouble in Lukas’s life. It was easy to keep a straight face, no matter how much he really didn’t want to look Berwald in the eyes.
Nobody in their presence, no kings or guards or diplomats or anyone of the like, could’ve had any idea something was wrong between the two. Berwald still had the same stoic, threatening gaze he’s kept all his life, with hardly anything to say along with it. Lukas still had his deadpan personality and the same layers of walls surrounding him that made it impossible to figure out what was going through his mind.
Perhaps a small mood of awkwardness was noticeable when encounters were only between the two Nations, but neither of them ever pointed it out.
Just like before that night, they settled for focusing on their duties and their work, seldom letting their minds wander unless they laid in silent solitude in the dark of night.
The only difference was that they were content with it beforehand.
Yet again, Berwald’s body hovered above Lukas, who was topless, lying almost completely motionless on the mattress.
They weren’t drunk that time.
Lukas was the one who finally brought up the subject of both of their imaginations. He locked Berwald’s bedroom door from the inside, slowly undoing the buttons on his top, so that if any guards or messagers invited themselves into their house for any reason the two had the chance to straighten themselves up before showing themselves. (Because most people certainly weren’t fond of that sort of relationship. Nations were a lot more lenient with homosexuality than the average human, given that there were so few of them and their political marriages allowed for a lot to occur between Nations of the same gender, but it still was in their best interest to keep any romantic or sexual relations a secret. They were public figures, after all.)
Lukas initiated a deep open-mouthed kiss on Berwald’s bed. It started slow, as if it were their first time, but it didn’t take long to evolve into making out. Their tongues danced deep in each other’s throats. While it was at the same level as intensity when they were drunk, it was less aggressive that time and more passionate. Spit coated their lips and trailed down Berwald’s chin, turning on both men more than they already were.
At some point while they were making out, Lukas’s shirt came off. Berwald pushed him down so that he was laying on the bed. He had Lukas essentially pinned down, tongue exploring the orifice that was his mouth, while Lukas resisted the urge to pull him closer as he let Berwald do as he pleased.
Eventually, the kiss was broken. A line of drool connected the two as Berwald pulled away before he lowered his head, bringing his mouth slightly further down on Lukas’s body, to his neck.
Lukas’s breath hitched at every wet kiss Berwald left on his neck, at every lick. His face was flushed, the same red as it was in the harsh winters of the years past, as he always had the habit of staying outside in the cold for far longer than what was good for him. Only it wasn’t because of the cold this time.
A gasp escaped his mouth when Berwald bit down, slightly sucking the skin through his teeth, and Lukas brought a hand up to rest on the back of Berwald’s scalp. Berwald understood that as encouragement.
Lukas’s neck was sensitive.
Only Matthias knew that.
A soft groan escaped his lips as Berwald’s tongue traveled up a prominent artery in his neck. Aiming for that particularly sensitive artery, Berwald bit and sucked and kissed around the area, and surely some of his bites were going to bruise.
He certainly had experience— did Timo also enjoy it when his neck was teased?
Berwald’s tempo remained consistent. He kept at it, his pace not even slightly faltering, as he brought his left hand up to Lukas’s uncovered chest, using his long and sturdy fingers to toy with one of his nipples.
That act sent a sort of shockwave through Lukas’s upper body, and he couldn’t prevent a quiet moan from seeping out of his throat. Lukas had never even thought to stimulate his nipples in such a way. Did Berwald do the same thing to Timo’s nipples, back when they were together?
He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t going to ask and ruin the mood.
Berwald left one last lick on Lukas’s neck before slightly lifting his head. The arousal on his nipples didn’t cease, however, and Lukas could still feel Berwald’s breath on his neck as his fingers worked their magic. He had to resist the urge to squirm.
“Have you ever played with your nipples like this?” asked Berwald, his fingers relentlessly pulling and pinching at Lukas’s nipple. Lukas understood the unspoken question, concealed under Berwald’s words— has Matthias ever played with his nipples like this?
He hesitated a few seconds before answering the question, his eyes peering down at the top of Berwald’s head (as his face was still hidden in the crook of his neck). “No…” he murmured.
It felt good. Berwald’s mouth, rather than returning to the spot it was, kissed down his neck and past his collarbone until it reached Lukas’s untouched right nipple, latching onto it and making Lukas slightly arch his back.
Both nipples were being stimulated, then. The pleasure stemming from his chest was something Lukas had never experienced before, never thought to experience before, and he was growing unbearably hard as Berwald neglected to properly give attention to his dick.
A few more long moments passed before Berwald removed his hand from Lukas’s flushed nipple, slightly lifting his head away, too, trailing his hand down Lukas’s torso. Lukas couldn’t help but squirm as Berwald’s fingers traced the V on his abdomen before landing at the area above his crotch where a small, light happy trail was visible.
His thumb rubbed softly through the short blonde strands of hair before hooking around the waistband of Lukas’s trousers. Lukas raised his waist, and then his legs, to ease Berwald’s task of removing his clothes. His linen drawers followed, revealing his hard cock, so that Lukas’s body laid bare below Berwald.
Berwald lifted himself off the bed and pulled off his own clothing, so that they were both in the nude. The clothes were discarded on the floor as he climbed back above Lukas, faces close enough to feel their breath on each other, but their lips not quite touching.
A finger found their way through Lukas’s legs and entering his hole. It was slow, gentle, yet still the sensation was enough to make Lukas gasp.
Berwald played with it for a moment, the digit wriggling around inside of Lukas, stretching him while on a search for his sweet spot. He could feel Lukas’s breathing getting heavier on his cheek. But it only lasted a moment, because then, Berwald’s finger ceased its movement and pulled out of Lukas. Berwald sat up slightly.
“Hell’s your problem?” asked Lukas, slightly breathless and his face flushed red.
Berwald was staring at the finger that was inside of Lukas. It was coated in something translucent, and a tad sticky.
“Ya already prepared for this?” he asked in return.
“Oh.” Lukas sunk back into the bed. “Ja, that’s just part of my body, I suppose. It self-lubricates like a woman. Dunno why, but it’s convenient."
Berwald made a hm sound in acknowledgement before inserting his finger, along with a second digit this time, back into Lukas’s asshole. Presumably, he still needed to be stretched, and even if that weren’t the case, Berwald could tell by the tiny gasps of air escaping Lukas that he rather enjoyed being fingered.
It wasn’t long before his fingers brushed over his prostate. He didn’t moan, but instead let out a particularly loud gasp that still signalled to Berwald to keep aiming for that spot. (If he was being honest to himself, it was a disappointment, with how quiet Lukas was being. Timo used to be a lot louder. Every man was different, after all, and of course Lukas was a far more reserved and stand-offish man than Timo could dream of being, but Lukas’s lack of noises were still a disappointment nonetheless.)
A third finger slipped in. Berwald’s pace was steady — he had strong arms, after all — and every time his fingers reached Lukas’s prostate, they curled into it sharply. Lukas arched his back and closed his eyes. Long, drawn-out breaths seeped out of his throat every time the stimulation was on his prostate, coupled with a few gasps here and there, and if Berwald was listening really closely he could hear quiet groans layered underneath his breathing.
Berwald’s fingers paused again, but they didn’t pull out that time. His fingers were pressed directly into Lukas’s prostate so that the pleasure didn’t cease.
“Ya stretched?” asked Berwald. He really had a thing for using as little words in his sentences as he possibly could, didn’t he?
Lukas took a moment to catch his breath, but Berwald received that as Lukas not understanding his question and just opting for not responding. “Or ya want a fourth finger?” he asked.
“Ja, ja, just…” Lukas took in a few more gasps of air. The stimulation on his prostate was making it hard to keep composed. “Ah… think I‘m good…”
Berwald’s dick twitched a bit when he heard the way Lukas’s voice was so breathless. He wondered if Lukas saw that.
Lukas was laying on his back, below Berwald, naked and sunken into Berwald’s mattress. His eyes were the expressionless blue hollows that they always were but his face was tinted deep red and his mouth was open to take in extra air. His dick was fully stood up, pink, precum dripping out of the tip. Berwald reveled in the sight of him.
He grabbed both of Lukas’s inner thighs, lifting his legs so that his asshole was pointing into the air. A step forward and Berwald’s dick was on his rim, on the verge of slipping inside. Berwald’s breath hitched.
“Fuck are you stalling for?” asked Lukas, clearly becoming impatient. “Jus’ put it in already.”
Berwald didn’t say anything to respond, but he complied, pushing his hips forward and inserting his dick into Lukas’s anus. He went in slowly at first, trying to make sure he wouldn’t hurt Lukas. His thrusts were just as delicate as they were with Timo. But Lukas was not Timo, he was an entirely different person, and unlike Timo, Lukas liked it rough. Berwald’s gentle pace did nothing but frustrate Lukas and so the Norwegian man started bucking his hips around Berwald’s cock in impatience.
That felt good. Better than pushing his dick into Lukas’s tight walls was the feeling of Lukas thrusting his body around his dick. The feeling of it could’ve made Berwald go crazy.
But despite that, Berwald knew he couldn’t indulge himself too much, as Lukas’s pleasure was just as important as his own. Perhaps Lukas could ride him someday.
So Berwald sped up his thrusts, slamming into Lukas’s prostate harder than he’s ever done to Timo. Lukas liked that. Berwald’s rough thrusts finally elicited some noises out of Lukas; a low moan emerged out of his mouth every time Berwald’s cock smashed into his sweet spot. A hand came up and wrapped itself around Lukas’s dick.
“Fuck…” Lukas breathed as Berwald stroked him to the pace of their sex, and it’s not like Berwald had never heard him curse before, but hearing him curse with such a breathy and overwhelmed voice made him feel a certain way that he rarely feels, that he felt hardly at all throughout his life.
Berwald was pulling himself almost completely out of Lukas before slamming right back into him, fully bottoming out, over and over again at a pace that brought them both so close to the edge rather quickly. Despite being so experienced when it came to sex, Lukas was still tight, and the feeling of his walls rubbing back and forth around Berwald’s hard cock was almost unbearable.
His thrusts didn’t falter as he leaned forward into Lukas, latching his mouth back onto Lukas’s sensitive neck. Berwald licked and kissed and bit — but mainly he bit, the harsh pleasure stemming from his groin inadvertently making all his other movements a lot more rough than usual.
Lukas gasped loudly. The stimulation on his neck and on his dick and on his prostate were becoming overwhelming and tears pooled up in his eyes as all of the pleasure just kept going and going. The tears never spilled but he was still grateful that Berwald’s head was hidden below his chin; he really didn’t like to be seen crying, even if it were in a sexual context. Lukas wrapped his arms around Berwald’s back.
Once his dick and his neck were being played with, he didn’t last very long before cumming. His grip around Berwald’s body tightened and he let out a loud moan as he released. That was the only loud noise he made that day, but still, Berwald was happy to hear it. He stroked Lukas through his orgasm until his dick was fully soft. Berwald only thrusted a few more times after that before cumming himself, releasing his semen into Lukas’s asshole.
Berwald pulled out of Lukas almost immediately. His body hovered above Lukas’s for a moment, before Lukas brought him down to lay next to him. He didn’t pull him onto him. Berwald laid beside him, his arm hardly brushing against Lukas’s own, but they didn’t touch any more than that.
It felt taboo, in a way. Maybe they did just fuck, but despite taking that huge leap, they haven’t taken any smaller steps before that developed their relationship in any meaningful way. It felt wrong to be all touchy outside of sex. Perhaps touching in any romantic way would be equivalent to saying they were ready to leave behind their past spouses, which, quite frankly, they weren’t even close. They laid silent for a long while.
Berwald’s cum seeped out of Lukas’s ass and soaked the bedsheet. Lukas didn’t do anything to wipe it away. It was warm.
“I can clean you,” offered Berwald.
“No,” said Lukas. He didn’t elaborate on his refusal, and Berwald didn’t ask him to. If he wanted them to simply lay down then he could simply lay down.
But it wasn’t because Lukas just wanted to simply lay down. No, rather, he specifically wanted the cum to stay in his body. Not necessarily in a sexual way — Lukas was soft, and he’d have to wait a bit to get hard again, given that he just came. But the cum was warm inside of him, and even if it was an artificial physical feeling, it was still a warm feeling inside of him that he hasn’t felt in a long while. It was nice, weird as that is.
“Hmm,” said Lukas. He hasn’t slept beside anyone (not when he was sober, at least) since he left Matthias the year before. “Ya mind if I sleep in here t’night?”
“That’s fine,” replied Berwald. His nights have been empty since Timo left. His bed was still big, but there was nobody occupying it aside from himself, which only served as a reminder of Timo leaving. Nobody else had slept next to him since.
They laid silent again. They didn’t get any closer than before, but what was a taboo was now comforting. They didn’t need to cuddle up to each other or anything major like that, but they did have the presence of another person next to them, which was more than either of them could have asked for.
Lukas’s eyes closed. Sleep took him first, as he was seemingly exhausted from the sex.
Sweden and Norway formed a personal union in 1814 after Norway rejected the original terms of the Treaty of Kiel, which would’ve handed Norway straight from Denmark to Sweden like it was a piece of property and not a kingdom with it’s own culture and people. Lukas and Berwald decided to marry — which wasn’t necessary, given that it was a personal union — but they figured that being married to someone would be better than being alone, since they wouldn’t be allowed to see their previous spouses at all. But for the first few months of their marriage, they hardly interacted with each other outside of work.
Maybe now it would change. Their relationship surely wouldn’t stay the same as before. They weren’t purely platonic or professional at all anymore, of course, but they weren’t fully sexual, either. They had a deeper understanding of each other than they did with anyone else which far exceeded the boundaries of a purely sexual relationship.
Taking the final step to establish a romantic relationship, however, was perhaps too much for either of them to bear. It hasn’t been long at all since they lost their spouses. Though maybe, perhaps, they don’t need any sort of label like that. Lukas and Berwald were married, man and husband, and maybe that was all they needed to describe each other.