Archive of Our Own

Kon didn't really know why he came here.

Of all places to choose to go on a whim, he didn't know why it was Bernard's apartment he went with. 

Sure, he's been dating Bernard and Tim for a month, but it still felt odd.

He didn't know Bernard like he knew Tim, him and Tim hardly changed a thing with their relationship, but with Bernard it was a newer relationship they were building. 

Not to say he didn't love Bernard,he just was still figuring out the best way to do so. 

All these thoughts swarming in his head he didn't even notice Bernard had opened his window until he spoke.

“Kon?” Bernard stared at him, his hair a mess leaving wavy blonde strands to fall in front of his face. His eyes looked heavy, clearly tired.

Despite all that, he still wore what looked to be what he likely wore that day for classes. A long sleeve casual button up and jeans. 

“Sorry.” He said when he remembered to speak, “Did I disturb you?” He asked, again taking a look over Bernard's more disheveled appearance. It was pretty unfair that Bernard looked cute even like this. Still,he couldn't shake the feeling he had that something was up. 

“No.” Bernard shook his head, giving Kon a warm smile that made his brain almost melt. “What's up? I think Tim's on patrol-”

“I can't just come see you?” Kon said,immediately embarrassed how whiney he sounded. Yet another thing he couldn't wrap his mind around was that Bernard seemed to feel like he was intruding on him and Tim's relationship instead of being part of it. Kon wasn't sure if Tim had noticed it as well or not, the guy wasn't always the most emotionally aware sometimes when it came to his own relationships, having his missing the forest for the trees moments, but Kon definitely noticed it. Especially in moments like this when there absolutely no reason Kon would be at Bernard's place hoping to see Tim.

He couldn't get it, Bernard was the only reason he and Tim ever even considered changing their relationship to romantic, and he knew Tim was absolutely smitten with Bernard and probably would call it embarrassingly so if Kon wasn't so smitten as well.

Kon never thought he would be so cheezy to think so poetically about someone, but Bernard was like gravity that kept him and Tim grounded. Maybe that's why he was drawn to his place tonight, despite the awkwardness of a new relationship there was something always calming about just being in Bernard's presence. 

“Oh.” Bernard blinked at Kon, before putting on that smile again. “Well,course you can. Would you like to come in or you just wanna chill at my fire escape all night?”

Kon blushed realizing how long he just been hanging out outside Bernard's window. 

“Inside would be nice.” He laughed nervously.

Bernard hummed as he stepped back,giving Kon room to come in before closing the window behind him. 

“Feel free to get comfortable,I can make some hot chocolate if you want?” Bernard offered as he headed towards his kitchen,Kon watched him longer than he'd like to admit before heading over to the couch.

“Uh-water is fine,actually.” He said,suddenly feeling the emptiness of the couch as he kept his eyes on Bernard. Again he noted how tired Bernard looked, the more he looked now he realized he looked almost shakened.

“Are you sure I didn't bother you? I can go if you need get to be-”

“No-” Bernard said a bit too quickly before letting out a breath and smiling at Kon, “I mean- It's fine.”

“Okay. If you're sure.”

“I'm sure.”Bernard said as he came over with a glass of water and gave it to Kon. Kon didn't hesitate before setting his glass down on the coffee table, wrapping his arms around Bernard's waist and pulling him close as he could without making him fall. 

“Kon!’ Bernard laughed,bracing his hands on Kon's shoulders. “What this for?”

Kon just rested his head against Bernard's abdomen,his head tilted up so he could look at Bernard. 

“Cause.” He grinned, before nuzzling his face against Bernard.

There was a moment where Bernard seemed completely still,before easing into Kon's hold and moving a hand to rest on top of Kon's head. Kon practically melted at his touch. 

“Long day?” Bernard asked quietly.

Kon shrugged before looking back up at him. 

“A little, I guess.”

Bernard gave a soft smile as he moved his hand back to Kon's shoulder.

“You can rest in my bed if you want. I can get you some extra blankets or-!”

Bernard was interrupted as Kon laid back on the couch, pulling him with him. 

They both laughed as Bernard squirmed around to reposition so he was sitting more comfortably, bracing his hands on Kon's chest, which Kon with feeling very normal about.

Bernard's laugh gave him the same feeling as when he was in the air. Kon wished he could record it.

“You know, if you wanted to cuddle you could have just asked. ” Bernard chuckled.

“Yeah, but this is more fun.”

“Uh huh.” Bernard snorted, giving him a playful smile.

Kon stared at Bernard, his cheeks had reddened, which along with his freckles, made him look adorable. Kon fought the urge to press kisses all over his face. 

He continued to stare Bernard over,until a spot of red caught his eye and he immediately shot up.

“What-Kon-!?” Bernard yelped as Kon grabbed his right arm,pushing the sleeve up to reveal scratches going up his arm, as well as evidence of bites though those didn't seem to have drawn blood like the scratches. 

A protective anger surged through Kon. Who in disco hell would do this? The scratches and bites were definitely human. When did this happen? How did Kon not notice before?

“Who did this?” Kon growled.

“Kon-”

“Who did th-”

“I did.”

Kon stopped when he heard the crack in Bernard's voice. His head spun the words around like it was set to spin cycle as he looked up at Bernard for clarification.

“What? What do you-” The words got trapped in his throat when he saw the look on Bernard's face. Kon's heart twisted at the sight. 

He'd never seen an expression like that on Bernard before. For all the time he'd known him he never seemed to express any sort of fear psychically. Heck,he seen him glare up Batman of all people without a shake.

Yet now? He looked like a deer in the headlights. His eyes were wide, body stiff like he wanted to pull away but couldn't,his breathing was heavy and Kon could hear that his heart rate picked up. A kryptonite sword would hurt less than seeing Bernard like this.

“I did this.” Bernard said quietly,struggling to take steady breaths. 

“Why?” Kon asked quietly. “I don't understand-”

“Don't worry about it.” Bernard said quickly,attempting to pull his arm away. “I'll treat and bandage it. It'll be fine.”

“Bernard-”

“I'm doing better. Swear. I'm still doing better-”

“Bernard hang on, you're-”

“I just- I don't know what happened- I don't know why-”

“Bear! Please calm down! You're having a panic attack!”

Bernard's eyes shot up to Kon's,now trimmed with tears as he struggled to level his breath. 

Kon realized that this was the first time he ever called Bernard by a nickname like that. He ignored the mix feelings about it and instead focused on Bernard.

“Just follow my breathing, okay?” He encouraged,rubbing Bernard's non-injured arm. “Let me clean and bandage this for you, alright?”

“I can do it-” Bernard started to get up but Kon gently guided him better onto the couch instead as he got up himself. 

“Let me do this for you…please?” Kon pleaded. 

Bernard hesitated, before sighing.

“Okay.” He said, scooting to the corner of the couch and pulling his knees up to his chest.

Kon nodded before getting up and heading into the bathroom to gather the first aid before coming back. 

Bernard was still pulled into himself,staring blankly at his arm. The hollow look in his gaze made Kon's stomach twist. Now Kon was wishing Tim was here, he didn't know what the right way to go about this was. He didn't know as much as Tim did, none of them really talked about what happened to Bernard and Kon never pushed. Now seeing Bernard like this he was wishing he knew more than he did. Bernard at least deserved someone who knew how to take care of him when he was struggling like this. 

He settled beside Bernard who held his injured arm out for Kon, not looking him in the eyes. If it was any other situation, Kon might've pouted and made some playful joke about Bernard not looking at him, but at the moment it was about whatever was comfortable for Bernard. 

“This gonna sting.” Kon warned as he started to treat the scratches with peroxide. Bernard hardly reacted to it, still that hollow look in his usually vibrant hazel eyes. 

Kon tried to avoid thinking too much about the fact he was cleaning fresh wounds on Bernard, seeing the scars that wrapped around his arms,reminder of deeper wounds from a time Kon never asked about.

He tried to avoid the feeling that came from the fact that it took him so long to notice Bernard was hurt.

Once Kon had finished treating and dressing the scratches he looked back up at Bernard,struggling to find the right words to say.

“Did…did you do this right before I showed up?” Kon hesitantly asked. 

Bernard grimaced, looking ashamed.

“I guess. I don't know what happen- I'm sorry I should've cleaned it up before-”

“Bear.” Kon tried to keep his voice steady. He racked his mind for what he could remember Ma telling him on what to do in this situation. Sure that was more staying calm for little kids who get lost in the fall festival corn mazes, but it has helped him with hurt citizens during crises and this wasn't too different.

“Do you really think I'd be upset about this? I'm just- I just want to understand what happened is all.” He said, gently squeezing his hand. “You don't have to say anything you don't want to though. Just trying to understand.”

Bernard slowly looked back at Kon, looking at his hand on his before looking back up. 

“I…I don't know.” Bernard sighed. “I got pulled to a party by some classmates,I left early and when I got home-” Bernard shook his head,pulling more in on himself. “I was dissociating,I felt like I was- that I was back there. Everything else…it's fuzzy.”

There was a moment of quiet between the two of them as Kon tried to think of what to say. After a moment he sighed, gently bringing Bernard's wrist up and kissing it,feeling Bernard's pulse beneath his lips. He could feel Bernard shudder as he nuzzled his hand and looked over at him. 

“We don't have to talk about it anymore than that.” He said. “You're probably tired. I can help you get to bed if you want.”

“I don't want to be alone.” Bernard said quickly, just like earlier when Kon offered to go. “I..I think the drink I had at the party was spiked.”

“Spiked?!” Kon sat up quickly, that protective rage bubbling in his chest again. “Wh-”

“Alcohol.” Bernard clarified. “The drink I had was from the non-alcoholic punch bowl. But I knew immediately it wasn't. Its why I left early. I'm surprisingly still a pretty bad lightweight so just what little I had I guess…had me dazed.”

Kon already decided he wasn't leaving Bernard alone, but hearing that-

Bernard doesn't like to drink alone. Tim had told him once before they all started dating Makes him feel too vulnerable. He only ever drinks when I'm around.

Kon understood that feeling. On earth he couldn't get drunk of course, but he remembered one time after his biological 21st birthday(if he got into his age based off his creation or with how long he was 16 or dead it would give him a migraine-) Kara took him to try some drinks on a red sun planet. He thought he'd enjoy it. Instead, he ended up hating it. It made him feel too much like when he'd be put in stasis back at the labs,he almost had a panic attack on Kara. He couldn't imagine how panicked Bernard must've felt dealing with that alone.

“Well,I definitely wasn't planning on leaving you before, I'm definitely not now.” He said as he moved to sit more comfortably next to Bernard. “But I do think you need some rest…”

Bernard sighed as he cuddled closer to Kon,laying his head on his shoulder.

“Can't we stay here. You're warm..” Bernard hummed,already sounding sleepy. Kon couldn't help but smile a bit, Bernard really did look adorable when he was sleepy. Not to mention getting sleepy meant he was calming down. 

“You just wanna cuddle right here?” Kon asked, “Don't you at least want to change to something comfier?”

“Mmm. I'm too comfy here.” Bernard hummed, nuzzling Kon. Kon really was thinking he was being a bit unfair looking so cute. “But I guess I can change.”

“We can cuddle on the bed after you do if you want?” He offered. That was a pretty normal thing to do at their stage in a relationship, right?

Bernard seemed to smile a lil more so he took that to mean he liked that offer.

Though the feeling was replaced with disappointment when Bernard suddenly pulled away again,picking at his bandages over his scratches.

“You don't have to stay if you don't want to. I don't want you to feel like you have to stay. I'll be fine if you need to go.” Bernard said so quickly, Kon just barely caught what he was saying. 

“Bear.” Kon started,leaning up and wrapping his arms around Bernard. He seemed to like the nickname,and it came so easy to Kon to say it now. “I want to stay. I care about you and want to make sure you feel safe and comfortable.” He chuckled and started pressing kisses along Bernard's cheek, “And Tim can't have you to himself all the time.”

Bernard laughed, becoming less tense as he turned around in Kon's arms so he was facing him. 

“Are you saying Tim is hoarding me?” He gave a playful eyebrow raise. 

“He is! And it's so unfair!” Kon sighed dramatically, giving Bernard a pout. “He needs to learn to share! I need my Bear cuddles too!”

“Bear cuddles?”

“Yes! Bear cuddles!” Kon said as he pulled Bernard closer, nuzzling him happily. He felt giddy as he heard Bernard laugh again. 

He was doing something right if he was getting Bernard's beautiful laugh to come out.

“Now. You still want to get changed and settled in bed?” He asked, he didn't want to force a decision onto Bernard. “I can get you some water and make sure the bed’s comfortable why you get dressed if you'd like?”

Bernard shifted around in Kon's arms, his head falling against Kon's chest. 

“Are you sure you don't need to be anywhere else?” He asked, “I mean-I definitely not gonna to complain if you want to stay, I just-”

“I want to stay, Bear.” Kon hummed, “I don't want you to be alone, and I want to spend time with you. Why do you think I came here to begin with? Just to hang outside your window?”

Bernard snorted, “I mean, you were outside my window for a while. I thought you'd fallen asleep out there at first.”

Kon pouted, “Well I wasn't just gonna break in. That would be rude.” As much as he hated it, he was wishing he did. Maybe he could've helped sooner if he hadn't been too stuck in his own thoughts. The vision of Bernard having a panic attack,scratching and biting at his own arm until it was raw- it made him nauseous. Sure, he knew Bernard had scars, more than any civilian should, but he never thought too much about it. It was just something that went undiscussed.

“You should teach Tim that, I've almost wacked him upside the head with a bat a few times cause he snuck in through the window. Mind you, he has a key.” Bernard chuckled, “I told him he at least could knock.”

“That would be too easy.” Kon snorted, “Now come on and go get dressed,okay.”

Kon gently nudged Bernard who slowly got off him(with a few complaints).

Why Bernard was changing Kon fixed them some water(added more ice to his that had gone lukewarm) and headed into the bedroom to fix up the bed for the two of them. 

He had to admit, the whole thing felt domestic. Sure, they've cuddled before,Bernard was very tactile, but never in a bed like this.

Kon kept his ear out for signs of issue as Bernard changed in the bathroom. He could hear the shuffle of feet and rustling of clothes. There was a stretch of stillness where Kon could only hear Bernard's breathing,he panicked for a moment that something was wrong before Bernard finally came out of the bathroom in his pajamas.

“Adorable.” Kon breathed out without thinking as he turned around to look at Bernard,feeling his heart flutter when Bernard's cheeks flushed at the word.

Bernard really did look adorable. It was just a baggy white and yellow shirt and white shorts, but Bernard looked just so cute in them. 

“Oh shut up.” Bernard laughed, shaking his head before looking back at him. “Do you need something to sleep in? I might have a few things that are a little big on me that might fit you.”

Kon felt his face flush, “Oh- uh- that would be nice actually.”

Bernard smiled before going and picking out a shirt and pants and handing it to Kon. 

“Feel free to change in the bathroom.” He hummed.

Kon ended up making himself more flustered at the thought that if he hadn't wanted to make Bernard uncomfortable he really wouldn't mind changing right there. 

It was one of the most vulnerable things he could do, yet it all popped into his mind. He might as well lay on the floor belly up and throat exposed. He really was that comfortable with Bernard.

Supposed Bernard had been real vulnerable with Kon the whole night.

“Alright.” Was all Kon said before heading into the bathroom to change.

One thing he hadn't noticed when he had grabbed the first aid earlier was how clear it was that Bernard I cleaned up a bit recently, around the counters and even the toilet seat by the heavy smell of cleaner. An unsettling feeling in Kon told him that Bernard had been bad enough to have thrown up. He felt another twist of guilt in his chest thinking about how he had been just outside Bernard's window why he had been going through all of this. 

‘What kind of partner I am.’ He thought bitterly as he quickly changed before heading back out to see Bernard awkwardly sitting on his bed sipping water. He looked out of it, nervously picking at his bandages again. 

“Hey.” Kon said as he floated over and settled down beside Bernard,placing a hand on his arm. “Let's get you comfortable,okay?”

Bernard looked up at him before looking at his arm, grimacing.

“Right, of course, sorry.”

“Don't be.” Kon smiled.

Bernard placed down his water before scooting into bed. Kon followed after,scooting close to Bernard and wrapping an arm around him. Bernard melted against Kon, laying his head on his chest again. Kon couldn't help but smile.

“That comfy?” He asked, smiling more as Bernard sleepily looked up at him through fallen strands of hair. 

“Quite.” Bernard hummed,struggling to keep his eyes open, which only made him look more adorable. “Not uncomfortable for you, it's it?” He asked. 

“Nope.” Kon said, “You laid against my chest kinda like this earlier, is it really that comfy?”

Kon chuckled, not that he was gonna complain. He liked Bernard being so close, if this was comfortable way for him to be he was more than fine with it. 

Bernard's face flushed at the question, he tilted his head up a little more and smiled sheepishly. 

“It's soothing.” He admitted, “I..I can hear your heartbeat,I do the same to Tim I guess.” Bernard shrugged, “Just- well nice reminder you're still there.”

Bernard hid his face more into Kon's chest as Kon stared blankly. Really it probably wasn't uncommon to be soothed by heartbeats, but to Kon it was a big show of care. 

The thing about superhearing is that you hear a lot. You hear too much sometimes. So you had to learn to filter out the noises just enough to not go crazy or overhear something you're not supposed to. 

One of the things he and the others prioritize was familiarizeing heartbeats. It became something big and even affectionate to be able to recognize a heartbeat. So the idea of Bernard being soothed by his own heartbeat did something to him that's for sure. 

“Oh.” He said softly, “Well definitely not going nowhere.”

Bernard hummed, “I know.” He said,though there was a bit of uncertainty in his voice,  “It's just comforting.”

“Well. I'm not complaining.” He smiled as he nuzzled his face in Bernard's soft hair,causing Bernard to chuckle a bit before settling back down against Kon.

That laid there in silence,Kon running a hand gently through Bernard's hair before he began to hear his soft snoring.

He looked at Bernard, his thoughts drifting off as his gaze landed on Bernard's bandaged arm. 

Oh Bear.. He sighed,pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He closed his eyes, listening to Bernard's steady heartbeat.

His stomach twisted a bit as he remembered Tim. Would Bernard want Tim to know what happened? He felt like Tim needed to know, but Bernard looked panicked when Kon saw the scratches to begin with. Like he was expecting Kon to be angry. Would he have the same expectation with Tim as well? Surely not right? 

Kon shook his head,settling further into bed and holding Bernard closer. No use over thinking that now, he'll cross that bridge tomorrow.

He wasn't sure how much longer he laid there before slowly drifting off to sleep. 

Bernard woke up with a start. 

It was early, the orange light of dawn just barely coming in through the curtains. Bernard had jolted awake, a ringing in his ear and his heart pounding so hard he could feel it in his throat. He couldn't move at first though, his vision hazy as he tried to will his body to catch up with his mind. 

He noticed arms over him, panic set in for a moment at the possibility someone still restricting him from moving, before noting the warmth radiating from the person as well as the familiar sound of their heartbeat from where he laid. 

Right. He tried to settle his breathing and heartrate, not wanting to disturb Kon. I'm alright.

He wasn't sure how long it was before he was able to move his own body. By then he wasn't breathing as hard and was more or less aware of where he was at. 

He looked towards Kon who had only stirred slightly before settling back into sleep. His curls fell over his face,Bernard was close enough to note every small detail on his face. Something that calmed him down even more. 

Kon's here. It's safe. I'm safe.

Bernard let out a soft sigh as he laid his head back against Kon's chest, listening to his heartbeat. He hadn't had a nightmare like that in awhile, the feeling of the bandages on his arm made him feel nauseous. He hated the feeling. He hated that he still found himself seeing having properly dressed injuries as a privilege easily taken away. Some voice in back of his mind that he hadn't heard in awhile whispering for him to have let it linger. Exposed for proof of his commitment.

There's nothing like that to prove anymore.

Bernard groaned, carefully pulling himself away from Kon without disturbing him. He made a sleepy whine which almost made Bernard snuggle right back against him. 

But he couldn't, he was too restless. Even if Kon looked adorable when holding him close, even when he was so warm and welcoming to be next to. He couldn't bring himself to pull himself back into Kon's arms. 

Bernard shook his head, deciding to do one thing that always eased him when he got like this. 

Cook.

He had enough ingredients to make pancakes for the two of them. He didn't fully know what Kon liked, but he went with chocolate chips and bananas cut up to put on top with whipped cream and strawberry syrup.

A pretty sweet breakfast, but Bernard figured Kon deserved it after dealing with him all night. He remembered hearing from Tim once Kon liked banana flavored things, and chocolate was liked by almost everyone.

Speaking of Tim,of course he had messaged him why he was asleep. But Bernard couldn't bring himself to respond, even to just a simple message that Tim had made it home safe after patrol that he made every night, and that he be over after some Wayne family photoshoot they are forced to do. If Kon had told him anything last night,Tim didn't show it in his message. Part of him wished Kon had said something. Maybe that'd be easier than having to tell Tim he's somehow relapsed again. And that Kon saw. Maybe it'd be easier than doing anything at all at the moment. 

“Bear?”

Bernard jumped and turned around at the sound of Kon's voice, he was so lost in his thoughts he was surprised he didn't burn the pancakes he was making. 

“Oh! Hey! Just making some pancakes if you want to sit down! They should be ready pretty soon.” He told Kon, forcing on a smile before going back to the pancakes.

Kon didn't sit down however,instead he came up behind him and wrapped his arms around his waist and buried his head into Bernard's shoulder.

“How long have you been up?” He asked softly. 

“Not long.” Bernard hummed, despite not even knowing what time it was now. “I'm assuming you just got up?”

Kon snorted, “That obvious huh?”

Bernard chuckled,pressing a kiss to his cheek, “Don't worry, you look cute when you're sleepy.”

Kon's cheeks reddened as he buried his face more into Bernard's shoulder, letting out a soft whine.

“Too early to be sweet talking,now.”

“Your accent gets thicker when you're sleepy too.” Bernard commented with a soft laugh as Kon just whined again.

“You're killing me.” 

“Mhm.” Bernard snorted, “Well go sit down why you're dying so I can finish plating these pancakes.” He nudged him off his shoulder, Kon begrudgingly detached himself from Bernard and went to sit down at the kitchen table. 

Bernard came over not too long after with two plates,setting one in front of Kon,along with getting him a fresh cup of water. 

“Actually drink the water this time instead of just setting it somewhere and forgetting about it.” He partly teased,finally settling back into his own chair across from Kon.

Kon stared at his plate for a moment,a somewhat dazed look on his Bernard couldn't read. 

“Woah.” Kon breathed.

Anxiety squeezed at Bernard's chest, did Kon not like what he put on it?

“Something wrong?” He asked immediately, “I can make something else if you don't like what's-”

“What? No! It looks amazing! It's just- wow.” Kon still looked astonished, “You didn't have to go through all this trouble.”

Bernard's face reddened as Kon dug into his pancakes,seeming even more pleased by the taste.

“Theth ‘eally gooth-!” Kon said through mouthful, causing Bernard to laugh. 

“Thanks. Least I could do after last night.” Bernard said quietly as he pocked at his own pancakes.

Kon stopped,taking the moment to swallow what was in his mouth.

“Hey..” He said softly, “You don't have to do anything to make up for that. I wanted to be there with you, remember?”

Bernard looked down at his plate with a frown.

“You shouldn't have to see me like that. It's bad enough Tim's had to see me like that.” Bernard said,anxiety gripping his chest again.

Kon seemed to study him for a moment, Bernard immediately feeling guilty for ruining the breakfast he had set up. 

“Forget it-”

“How about we talk about it after breakfast?” Kon offered, “If you want to,just to at least clear things up?”

Bernard stiffened up,  “I-”

“Not in a bad way-” Kon clarified quickly, “Just so we can finish breakfast before getting into anything serious.”

“Oh…Okay.” Bernard nodded, still feeling anxious about what that meant.

They are in mostly silence after that, Kon gently bumping his foot against Bernard's under the table as if to comfort Bernard. In a way it kind of worked.

Kon ate pretty quickly,even emptying his glass of water. Bernard on the other hand couldn't eat much,he was too nauseous for it, and decided to save the rest for later(maybe for Tim so he didn't feel left out-). He tried to ignore Kon's gaze on him when he put the leftovers in the fridge. 

“Okay.” Bernard said simply, waiting for Kon to make the next move. He wasn't really sure what to expect.

Kon headed to the couch, settling down more in the middle and patting the spot beside him near the arm and some cushions. He wasn't sure if that was more or less comforting of a spot but he sat down there anyway. 

“So.” Bernard swallowed, his heart threatening to jump out of his throat. 

“So.” Kon replied, “How are you feeling this morning?”

“Well…better.” He nodded.

“Do you- have any more urge to- you know..scratch?” 

Bernard grimaced,he did, in a way. It's why he tossed the knife he'd been using for the bananas in the sink immediately where it wasn't as clearly in view. He didn't trust himself not to lose it again. He couldn't let it get worse than scratching. Yet, cooking helped him focus on anything else but the feeling to pull off every bandage over his arm and run his hand over the scratches he already left behind. 

“It's more manageable.” He answered quietly, “I shouldn't let it get like that last night.”

“You were having a trauma response,Bear.” Kon said,hesitating before gently grabbing and squeezing Bernard's hand. “You should've never had to been in that position to begin with,that's not on you.”

Bernard didn't respond, just looked away. He didn't know what to say. Kon was taking all this better than he should be,at least in Bernard's mind.

“I was doing better…” Bernard said with frustration, shaking his head. 

Kon opened his mouth for a moment like he was gonna say something before deciding against it. Instead he scooted close to Bernard and squeezed his hand again. 

“Are…Are you planning on telling Tim?” Kon asked quietly.

Bernard shifted awkwardly, “Yeah, shouldn't really keep this from him. Not like I can keep it from him for long.”

Tim was good at noticing that at least, sometimes Bernard wanted to be irritated that Tim picked up on when he was physically hurt so easily. Yet he couldn't bring himself to be irritated,it felt nice that Tim paid that much attention. His parents certainly never did. 

“It's your choice.” Kon said, “I just know Tim knows more about all that happened than I do.”

Bernard sighed softly as he laid his head on Kon's shoulder. Kon felt so warm and comfortable…

“You being here helps…” Bernard admitted, “It's…easier when you and Tim are around.” 

He sighed again, wrapping his arms around Kon's arm and hiding his face in his shoulder. He felt pathetic and weak,like a newborn kitten. He shouldn't have to depend on either of his boyfriends just to get through life. He use to manage just fine on his own before.

Well, no, he supposed he didn't manage fine on his own when he was being ignored or left by everyone around him. He's always been annoying and clingy,he really couldn't blame people for leaving. Still, he really didn't manage it much better then did he? If he had he wouldn't have been pulled into the Children of Dionysus would he? He wouldn't be feeling this sticky oozy feeling making him want to crawl out of his own skin. Or that burning feeling on his wrist from where he still had the tattoo marking him for the altar.

Speaking of which, as if reading his thoughts(which Bernard is considering if that's secretly a kryptonian ability at this point-) Kon gently pulled the hand he was squeezing up, pressing a soft kiss to his wrist just over the tattoo. Bernard felt tingling up his arm and down his spine as Kon smiled so warmly at him. 

“You know we're here if you need us, don't you?” Kon hummed, “I'm practically a call away.”

Bernard wanted to melt. He knew that, really. Kon and Tim cared so much for him in a way he didn't always understand. He hated to bother them with his problems,he really did. They were out there saving lives, they didn't need to worry about him. Yet…they did, and it was something that made him want to almost cry at times.

“I know..” Bernard said quietly,gazing at the hand Kon was holding. “Can we…talk about something else? At least until Tim gets here?” He asked, nuzzling his head against Kon's shoulder.

“Course.”Kon hummed,pressing another kiss to his wrist.

Bernard relaxed at bit, watching Kon bring his hand up to his cheek. Bernard took the moment to gently cup Kon's cheek with his hand,sitting up so he could cup his whole face with both hands.

A warm fuzzy feeling filled him as Kon melted into his hands,a soft purr escaping him.

“Cute.” Bernard said softly, pressing a kiss to Kon's forehead. He smiled watching Kon's face reddened.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Kon said quickly, but it didn't stop his rumbling purr.

“You know exactly what I'm talking about.” Bernard chuckled,before suddenly rolling himself onto Kon's lap pulling a ”Oh!” from him. 

“What?” Bernard said innocently,wrapping his arms around Kon's neck. “Something wrong?”

Kon's face was beet red, he was stumbling over his words,yet still purring as loud as an engine.

“Nope. Nothin’ wrong.” Kon managed out.

Bernard laughed softly, “Good.” He said before pulling Kon down into a kiss. It was soft at first,giving room for Kon to pull away if he wanted,but it immediately deepened as Kon pulled him closer. 

Bernard realized very suddenly that this was the first time he and Kon actually kissed like this. Kon's lips were softer than Bernard expected, and he could feel his purr vibrating through him. It was a much different experience than kissing Tim, Kon was warmer and seemed a lot more aware of his own body and how much strength he was exerting while still completely enveloping him in his arms. It was nice.

He let out an almost giddy laugh when he found himself getting pulled down more on the couch by Kon. He giggled as he pulled away from the kiss, repositioning so he was better laying on Kon. He gently ran a hand through Kon's curls, which Kon leaned into.

A sense of calmness washed over him as he settled more on Kon,laying his head on Kon's chest as Kon wrapped his arms around him, holding him close. 

“I love you.” He just barely heard Kon say as he pressed a kiss to top of his head. 

Bernard felt a flutter in his chest as he snuggled more against Kon. He felt secure like this,in Kon's arms. Like nothing could get to him like this. The sound of Kon's heart beat and purring grounded him,it made the icky feeling he had practically disappear. He melted into Kon,smiling as he felt Kon's hand run through his hair, making him sigh contently.

“I love you,too.”