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In tears Charlie stormed out of the house, slamming the door shut.
“Brilliant job, Nelson!” Tori scoffed angrily.
“Look who’s talking. I didn’t bring up dinner!”
“Well, someone had to! And if you’re too much of a coward …”
“STOP IT!” Olly yelled at them.
In stunned silence they both looked down at the youngest Spring, himself now close to tears.
“I am so sick of you two fighting all the time! You are supposed to be there for Charlie!” Olly looked at Tori pleadingly. “You are supposed to be there for me,” he whimpered pleadingly. “I am so scared, Tori! Charlie is ill, and I don’t really understand it, and I want to help him but I don’t know how! And I am so scared that he won’t get better and we won’t be able to play Mario Kart anymore!” He broke out in tears.
Tori rushed forward and took him into her arms. “Shhh, it’s okay! You’re right, we’re being stupid. Nothing is gonna stop us playing Mario Kart together, I promise.”
“Can we - can we play it now? With Nick? Please?”
Tori stiffened. Questioningly she looked over her shoulder at Nick, who gave a tiny nod. “Of course we can.” She released Olly and they all went into the living room, Olly lagging a bit behind. When Nick and Tori had entered the room, Olly pulled it shut from the outside, and they heard a key turn in the lock.
“Olly!” Tori thundered, rushing to the door and rattling the handle. “You let us out this second!”
“No!” Olly’s shout came from the other side. “I’ll only let you out when you’ve become friends!”
“Oliver Spring, how dare you? And where did you even get the key?”
“None of your bloody business!”
Nick chuckled, which earned him a dark look from Tori.
“Just be friends, dammit!” Olly shouted.
Then there was silence.
Tori let out a long groan. “Well done, Nelson!”
Nick crossed his arms defensively. “What the hell did I do?”
Tori whirled around and glared at him. “Well, for starters, you got us locked in here!”
“Erm - no. That was your brother. And I distinctly remember him mentioning both of us!”
“Fine!” Tori scoffed. “Whatever!” With a dark glance at Nick she strode over to the couch and fell into the cushions.
And kept staring at Nick, arms crossed in front of her chest.
“What?” he asked, slightly annoyed by her open hostility.
“I thought you cared about Charlie! I am shocked you didn’t bring up dinner!”
“And I am shocked you did!” Nick shot back. “I thought you knew him! You should have known how he’d react! But instead you just made it worse!”
She glared at him for a moment, but suddenly turned her head away so he wouldn’t see the tears his words had triggered.
But Nick noticed.
And he felt like shit for what he had said.
“I’m sorry,” he offered quietly. “I know how much you care about him. I don’t know why I said that.”
“I’m just so scared,” she replied in a broken voice. “I’m so scared it’ll get worse and I won’t be able to be there for him.”
“Seems Olly’s scared, too.”
Tori sighed deeply. “Seems I have fucked up there, too,” she muttered bitterly.
Nick looked at her for a moment, then he sighed deeply and joined her on the couch. “You didn’t fuck up,” he tried to soothe. “This whole thing is fucked up!”
“Isn’t it just?”
They sat in silence for a while. Suddenly, Tori started again.
“I really love being an older sister, you know? I love my brothers, and I love being there for them. But I’m always so afraid I might mess up. They are looking to me to have all the answers, to make everything all right. And they should be able to do that. But sometimes I don’t know the answer. Sometimes I can’t make it right. And that scares me. I’m not as strong as they think I am. I see Charlie struggle every day, about Mum, about food, about school, and I don’t know how to help him!”
Nick looked at her in surprise. He'd always had the impression that Tori wasn’t one to open up about her feelings, least of all to him. That she had done so now moved him deeply.
It also spoke to the severity of the situation.
“You notice. You see. I guess that already helps a lot,” Nick mused.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t think anyone noticed.”
“I do,” Nick said, not looking at her.
“Yeah, well, you’re pretty observant yourself, Nelson.”
“Thanks.”
“Don’t let it get to your head!”
They were silent again. Then Nick started once more.
“Why do you hate me so much?”
“Don’t be daft, I don’t hate you!”
Nick looked at her with a raised eyebrow. Tori chuckled when she saw it. “Okay, maybe I do a little. But most of all I just don’t trust you. Nothing personal, but the last guy Charlie dated was a massive wanker!”
Nick groaned. “You have no idea!”
Tori looked at him in surprise. “You know him?”
“We used to hang out sometimes.”
“Used to?”
“Oh, we’re definitely not anymore!”
“What happened? Charlie never really talked about it, just said he was a knob and he broke up with him.”
“If Charlie hasn’t told you any details I guess it would be unfair for me to tell you. Let’s just say we had an - argument - about the way he was treating Charlie.”
Tori looked at him with appreciation. “Well done.”
“Thanks.”
“Looks like you don’t have the best taste in company, then, too.”
Nick sighed deeply. Staring at the hands in his lap he began to speak. “Ever since Charlie and I became friends I realised how superficial most of my friendships were. Charlie showed me what true friendship really looks like. I never knew how much I craved that until I found it through Charlie. I guess I’m just …” He looked at Tori and fell silent.
“What?” she probed.
“I guess I’m just scared that I’m using him. I mean, he was my bi awakening, he introduced me to his friends, he made me see which people I already had in my life that showed me real friendship, not just on a surface level. So, yeah, I’m scared that I’m using him to make my own life better.”
“But isn’t that what love is all about? That it makes your life better?” Tori asked.
Nick’s head snapped up and he looked at her in surprise. She gave him a knowing smirk, but then turned away. “You’re not using him. I’ve seen you with him, and that’s not using someone. It’s caring.”
Nick gave her a tentative smile, then they were silent again.
“I care a lot about Charlie,” he finally pressed out.
“I know. I do, too. And I guess I’m kind of - jealous?”
“How come?” Nick asked, surprised.
“You two have this incredible bond. You’re always together, and it makes Charlie really happy. Sometimes it seems as if he can’t wait to get away from me! And I know it’s not about me! I know he’s just giddy to see you, which is a beautiful thing, and I’m really happy for him! It still hurts, you know?” She looked at Nick, silently begging him to understand.
“I think I get it,” Nick said thoughtfully. “Feeling like people you really love are leaving you behind for whatever reason hurts like hell.”
Tori said nothing to that, just nodded.
“I’m jealous of you, too, you know?” Nick said tentatively.
“What? Why?”
Nick sighed deeply. “Charlie loves you a lot. You have such a special bond, and that’s just how it should be! I wish I had the same bond with David. But it also makes me feel like an outsider sometimes. You have all this history together. You will always be family. What if I for some reason stop being his boyfriend at some point? What if I fuck things up? You will always be his sister, but I might not always be his boyfriend.”
“You won’t fuck things up,” Tori stated.
“Thanks,” Nick chuckled sadly. “I just wish I had your confidence in that matter.”
“Tell you what,” Tori said, pulling one leg onto the couch and facing Nick. “The moment I see you begin to fuck up I’ll whack something over your head. Deal?”
Nick barked out a laugh. “Deal!”
They smiled at each other, and Nick felt a weight lift from his chest. “It seems we have been fighting over Charlie when we should have been fighting for him.”
Tori rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, well, don’t tell anyone, or our reputations are ruined.”
Nick laughed. Then he got thoughtful again, looking at the hands in his lap.
“Did you really love the roast Dad made for dinner when you came round?” Tori asked, smirking.
“God, no! I only said that to win over the parents! I hated it! I mean, where was the seasoning? The lack of flavour! I thought your Dad was Spanish?”
“Right?!?” Tori exclaimed. “Still, wouldn’t have thought you were such a competent liar.”
“The things we do for love,” Nick said, winking at her.
Tori gave a tiny laugh. “You are impossible.”
“Yeah, but I think you like it. Just a tiny bit.”
“I might.”
Then she got thoughtful again. “I - I really love being a big sister, I told you. But with all the things going on, me not really understanding all of it, I mean - sometimes it would be nice to have - an older brother?” she ended, a question and hope in her voice.
Nick looked at her, utterly touched. “You do. I mean, if you want to.”
She looked at him and her shoulders sagged in relief. “Thank you,” she whispered, her voice nearly breaking.
“So, should we see if we can get Olly to let us out of here?” he suggested, trying to lighten the mood.
Tori nodded, got up and strode to the door, giving it a firm knock. Nick followed her.
“Olly!” she yelled. “Let us out!”
“Are you friends already?” Olly shouted back.
Tori groaned exasperatedly. Nick chuckled. “Yes, bud, we are. Now open the door so we can go find Charlie.”
With a click the door unlocked and Olly opened it. When they looked down at him they nearly burst out laughing.
He was standing in front of them, his hands resolutely pushed into his sides. He glared up at them accusingly.
“And you are supposed to be the grown ups here,” he scoffed.