Chapter Text
The world used to be gold.
The truth is, Akk doesn’t remember much of his childhood, everything comes in fragments. Snippets of warm summer days spent laughing with his father as they sailed out to catch fish or his mother’s kisses when he helped set the table just right. He can clearly recall the salt in the air, the sand between his toes. They come to him as sensations more than memories, bright and untouchable, slipping through his fingers like grains of sand, when he tries to hold on.
The only thing that stayed true was the color - gold.
He didn’t have a name for it back then, not really, it came to him as the golden orb of light that levitated over his shoulder, following him like a lost puppy whenever he went. It was something that felt like the warmth of the sun and the cool of the ocean against his skin during the summer heat, the way the world opened itself to him without question. Easy. Bright. Safe.
Akk used to be a happy child, loved and cherished by his parents, always warm, always treasured. They didn’t have much, only a house by the ocean at the very edge of the fishing village and a boat which his parents used to catch fish to feed themselves and to sell. Some of the other children whispered about it, calling him poor when they thought he couldn’t hear. Akk never understood why.
Gold followed him everywhere. Akk used to wake up with it peeking through the curtains of his bedroom, chasing him around as he went about his routine and getting ready for school. It would sit with him at breakfast and drift beside him through the day like something quiet and patient, at the edge of his vision. At night, when Akk wandered along the beach, it lit his path just enough to keep the dark away.
He didn’t understand what this golden ball of light was.
He wasn’t scared of it, no, but rather curious. His parents didn’t have answers either, so they took him to the village mage, a funny old man with a bald head and kind eyes, who gave the boy a candy and patted his head.
“He’s a future mage.” The wizard simply stated.
Akk’s parents looked at each other, confused. “Sir, we’re both human. No one in our family…” His father mumbled.
“It’s rare, but not impossible. Akk has a very special gift.” The mage smiles at the young boy, something sad crossing his eyes.
Something changed in his parents that day. Akk didn’t understand it at first, didn't even see it.
His dad started boasting to anyone who would listen about his son and a prophecy that will be fulfilled.
“My son.” The man would say, pulling Akk forward with a firm hand on his shoulder. “A great wizard. The village mage himself said it.”
“Akk, show them your light.” He’d add quieter, leaning down just enough for only Akk to hear.
Akk would glance to the side, looking at the golden sun on his shoulder or floating within an arm’s reach, always there, Akk just wished he knew how to touch it. The orb would bristle at the question every time, like a cat and then rush to hide in Akk’s hair.
“I can’t, Phaaw. Sorry.” The boy would apologize, eyes wide and glassy.
His father would laugh it off for others, making excuses about new powers and shyness and childhood naivety. Later, when the onlookers would leave, his grip would tighten on his son’s shoulder. “You need to try harder.”
His mother changed differently, silently. She filled the house with books and scrolls, old ones, borrowed ones, pages yellowed and brittle at the edges, numerous articles online opened on the second hand computer she managed to thrift from someone. She would spend hours at the table, flipping through them with quick, restless movements.
“Akk, come sit.” She would order, voice loud, manic. He would, even when his friends’ voices carried in from outside, bright and distant.
“Focus!” His Mae would say, placing small things in front of him - a glass of water, a spoon, a candle, a flower pot - anything that her books deemed ‘helpful’. “You have to want it. Your magic is there, call it.”
Akk would try - he always tried - not because he wanted to, but because he hoped that if his magic did manifest then his parents might go back to their old, loving selves. He would sit in front of the object, staring until his eyes burned, his head hurt, until the world blurred at the edges and the gold light wavered uncertainly beside him. Nothing happened.
“It’s alright. Elements are harder to control. We probably need another method.” She would comment, disappointment laced in each word, already reaching for another book.
His parents tried everything, elements, objects, sensations, music, art, tarot cards, even animals - to see if he could talk to them or turn into one. They took long trips to nearby towns for camps and lessons meant for children like him. Akk sat through them all, quiet and obedient, listening to words that didn’t seem to belong to him.
He was tired. He missed the mornings that felt slow and soft, the afternoons spent reading or running along the shore, the simple rhythm of school and home and sleep. He missed going to the beach, without his Phaaw coming to spy on him, to see if he could control the ocean or his Mae calling him with another test meant to awaken his powers.
He didn’t care about magic, he just wanted to play and have fun and be normal.
But his parents did and like a good son, Akk took his mother’s hand when she reached for him and followed, hoping that eventually, something would make sense again.
Gold followed him each step of the way, still warm, still safe, maybe that’s why he didn’t complain.
The answer came the day the golden light disappeared.
It wasn’t anything grand. It didn’t happen thanks to one of his Mae’s rituals, nor was it a result of a storm or fire or flood. It came as a surprise, with no warning. Just a small mistake one evening in their kitchen, when Akk could pretend they were still a family.
The knife slipped, clattering to the countertop, its echo loud and his mother hissed, as a thin line of red bloomed across her finger. Akk, only nine back then, jumped from behind the table in panic, rushing to her side.
It was pure instinct that made him reach for her wrist. “Mae…”
When Akk’s fingers brushed over her skin the bleeding stopped. He frowned, staring at her clean and scarless hand. His mother went very still eyes wide, jumping from her finger to her son, who was still holding her wrist.
On the next breath the pain hit, piercing through him like a lightning strike, paralizing, sharp, intense. Akk screamed, stumbling back as his own hand split open, blood running down his fingers, staining his shirt, dripping onto the floor. His mother gasped, grabbing his hand, pressing a towel against it, calling for his father with a voice that trembled despite her attempts to steady it.
The gold light flickered then, at the edge of his vision.
Then it got stained, small specks of red blooming across it like a spilled paint.
They took him back to the mage, Akk still crying and bleeding in his father’s arms as the man opened the door and let them in. He listened to them speak as he bandaged Akk’s finger, watched for the smallest details as he fed him a potion, and asked Akk to tell him what happened.
The mage’s expression darkened just slightly, when Akk showed him how he touched his mom’s wrist, his hand trembling. “An empath.” The old man said at last, then he sighs. “Absorption.”
Akk didn’t understand the words, looking at his parents for explanation, only to see their expression brighten. The mage continued, voice slower now, measured. “It means that he can take on the sensations of others. Physical… and, in the right conditions, emotional.”
“Conditions?” Akk’s father asked quickly.
The wizard’s gaze flicked to Akk, then away. “If the bond is strong enough.” He brushed Akk’s hair back, almost as an apology.
Silence stretched for a moment. Akk didn’t understand why the mage looked regretful or why his parents were so happy on the way home.
The gold dimmed on the way home and then never really returned to the brightness it had before, getting stained with hues of blue, gray and black.
Akk turns into a sort of gold mine for his parents after that day. In the beginning it wasn’t anything grand, just neighbors stopping by, his parents inviting them in with bright smiles and careful voices, as Akk sat behind the dinner table doing homework.
“Just a little help.” Akk’s Mae would say soft and kind, guiding Akk forward gently, yet it didn’t feel like he had a choice.
At first it was simply a headache, a sore wrist and a bad back. Akk would listen, touch, take, he was a good son after all.
“You owe us, Akk. Not many would raise a child-mage in this economy. We struggled, but took care of you. This little thing is nothing compared to our sacrifices.” His Phaw would tell him, whenever Akk asked to stop, told them it hurt or simply cried because his back felt like it had dislocated.
Like a sponge, he absorbed it, watching relief bloom across the townspeople’s faces as the pain left them, while he withered on the floor, crying. His parents would stand close by, watching just as carefully, thanking the visitor as they handed them money.
Then the visits became more frequent, no longer villagers and relatives, but strangers now. People from nearby towns, professors, officials, kids and adults and elderly, rich and influential. They came with heavier things than a sprained ankle.
Akk stopped asking questions. He did what he was told, he always helped, making people leave their house with a smile on their lips, while his parents’ pockets grew heavier, even as Akk’s body hurt from broken bones and burn marks that took weeks to heal.
At least they healed, he comforted himself. No scar, no wound, no broken limb, no pain remained on Akk’s body or his insides for longer than three weeks. One time, a burn victim came to them for help. That was the only time, the twelve-year-old boy stayed locked in his room for a whole month, taking meds and applying special balm the mage sold them, until the last burn mark disappeared and he could move without feeling the tongues of fire eating at his skin.
His sunshine, the soft, warm gold that had once followed him like a puppy, turned darker with every touch. Broken and hurt and scared like its owner. It was muddy and muted now, more like a stain than a sun, and each time Akk looked at it he wanted to cry. It was his fault for being weak, for not resisting more.
The light doesn’t come back until Aye.
~~ ☀️🌙~~
Suppalo was supposed to be his freedom. A full scholarship to a prestigious school for wizards, now open to mortals too and giving opportunities to those from struggling families.
Suppalo is an elite boy’s school built on magic. Centuries ago, this school was made for young wizards to come to learn about magic and to be mentored on how to control their powers. For 100 years that system worked, but ever since the new King came to Heartland everything changed, magic was no longer isolated and wizards weren’t expected to be studying, living or growing separated from their human parents, human siblings or their homes.
By the most recent laws, every school and university had to accommodate and open its gates to people - humans and magicians - from different backgrounds and align their academic syllabus and teaching as well as administrative staff to fit the needs of the new students coming there, who are either wizards or witches. Not only sorcerers had a chance to study and learn about magic, but humans were now given rights to learn about magic too.
There were few schools and countries who refused the new change King brought to his own country and suggested to others, claiming ‘pure-bloodness’ and ‘special privileges’ as the reason to isolate those with power from the ones without. But almost every institution in Heartland switched to the new system. Suppalo included.
When Akk got the email he thought he could finally escape this life of a slave his parents created for him. He didn’t want to live like this anymore, didn’t want to absorb other people’s pain, or be a marionette his parents could use to get rich and powerful. He wanted to be a normal teenager, study and go to University, build a life, a future for himself that didn’t involve magic.
When Akk told his parents about Suppalo they were excited. Their son studying in the best Wizard School in Heartland would mean more prestige and connections for them, more money, more influence.
They were in the midst of planning which house to buy in the capital and what to do with the fishing business they built in the village, when Akk announced. “Phaaw, Mae. I’m going there alone.”
They freeze, turning to look at him in surprise. The teen doesn’t let them talk. He tells them about his plans and hate towards his own powers. Informs them that he no longer wants to use his powers for their benefit and is determined to live a normal high school life without being forced to be a ‘Pain Absorber’ to others.
In the silence that follows, Akk feels foolishly optimistic. There is still a tiny bit of hope inside of him that his parents will understand him, will see how much this has hurt him, will embrace him and promise to be better, to not treat him like a money maker and instead return to the loving family they were before his magic came to be.
Even his orb is hovering over his shoulder in muted yellow and mud green, waiting, holding its breath.
Then the storm breaks and whatever last peck of hope remained inside the young teen, fully disappeared.
His Phaaw’s fury is the loudest, calling him ungrateful and selfish, telling him that it’s his duty as a son to help his parents, that he owes them for raising him. His Mae is quieter, yet just as cutting, she didn’t need to be loud to burn Akk where he hurts the most. Her disappointment cut cleaner than anger ever could, as she spoke of sleepless nights, of money spent on his education, of every hospital visit his ability had caused, as if Akk had chosen any of it. As if he had asked to be born like this. As if he had ever been given a choice.
It hurts him to hear his parents talk about him like he is some item they can use to make their wishes come true and claiming that he has no free will of his own. Through the pain, Akk stands his ground, refusing to ever use his powers for money or influence again, determined to learn how to control it, so that the teenager wouldn’t have to feel the pain of others if he doesn’t want to.
His father tells him to never come back again.
His mother says she never raised an ungrateful and selfish son like him.
That night, Akk leaves for the capital, with a single suitcase and a hope for a future without someone controlling him or his magic.
The light, hollow and yellow-green now, floats over his shoulder.
Akk smiles at it and with a last look towards the house, he once called home, leaves.
~~ ☀️🌙~~
He arrives at Suppalo the next day, standing in front of the tall gates, an ominous feeling he couldn’t explain pressing on him. The light on his shoulder is a mix of darker hues - black, yellow, red and a tinge of green - now. Akk doesn’t understand why, but it feels like a warning.
The teachers and the principal greet him with warmth and kindness, words of encouragement raining on the teenager as he is registered in and escorted to his dorm room with a new uniform and a blue armband waiting for him on the bed. It is a rule of Suppalo for wizards to wear blue armbands, while humans had none. Teachers said it made it easier to see who the students are and how to treat them better. The newly reformed Wizard Welfare Department oversaw the Prefects (or wizards), while the Head Prefect, the one chosen by the Head Master and Principal, helped the teachers maintain the order in school and stability between the prefect students and human ones.
Akk felt it weird that they discriminated against the student body like this, but Teacher Chadok - the Head of Wizard Welfare Department and Principal's right hand man - assured him that it was there for the best of students. Suppalo has been a purely mage school for centuries, adapting to a new human student body was complicated and the armbands helped both the teachers and the students. Akk didn’t argue further, not because he didn’t see how weird it was, but because he was scared that if he asked too many questions they might take away his scholarship, his future.
The first two months are lonely. He is constantly bullied and gets into fights with other students because they pick on him and call him a country bumpkin, all because he is poor and studying on scholarship. The one who saves him from getting in trouble for fighting those assholes is Teacher Dika. Like his guardian angel, Teacher Dika takes Akk to the side and gently shows him another way of dealing with his depressive thoughts and hateful comments from others. He encourages him to come to him if he has any questions, to try to make friends, to leave the troublemakers to him and the Wizard Welfare Department.
Teacher Dika helps him settle down in Suppalo, guides him to making his grades exceptionally better and makes him believe that the life he craves to build for himself exists. In a sort of a heart breaking way, Teacher Dika becomes a father figure to Akk. He also introduces him to Phi’Mes, the Head Prefect and the best wizard of Suppalo, who quickly becomes Akk’s role model and, embarrassingly enough, his first crush.
Even years later, Aye still pouts about it and demands kisses as payments for Akk having a terrible taste in men, before Ayan entered his life.
Thanks to Phi’Mes and Teacher Dika, Akk’s bullies leave him alone and even when the good teacher suddenly leaves the school, the Head Prefect is still there making sure that Akk is not alone. Mes is the one who encourages Akk to study well and become the next Head prefect, the most powerful and popular wizard among the student body.
Phi’Mes isn’t the only one who protects him from bullies and helps him find himself. During his second semester in Matthayom 4 Akk meets Khan and Wat, his best friends and wizards who show him that magic and fun can exist in the same realm and that powers aren’t something to be afraid of. While both Khan and Wat are from prestigious rich, wizard families, they’re down to earth and simple guys, who, not unlike Akk himself, love to hang out at the arcade, have grilled pork in Akk’s dorm room and goof around in between classes. They also often stand up for him and fight against his bullies. And when Akk joins the Prefect Club his best friends follow along, not willing to let him shoulder all that responsibility alone.
When Phi’Mes graduates, Teacher Chadok calls Akk to his office and announces that the school chose him to be the next Head Prefect. It’s the happiest day of Akk’s life. A simple person, a kid with no name, no background, no money and no family has been chosen by the Suppalo executives themselves to represent Suppalo and protect its ideals. It was a great honor. For Akk it was a dream come true.
As he stood in the dark auditorium, in the circle of candles as Teacher Chadok stepped in front of him, chanting the last verse to complete the ritual, Akk felt something wrap around his ankles and wrists, like the shadows extended from under his feet, grasping at him, binding, pulling, something inside of him screamed that it was wrong, told him to run, to hide, to not do it. His orb of light, now grey and dark maroon, hid in his hair, as Akk felt a weight settle across his shoulders, chills running up his arms.
An ancient magic circled around the teen as Teacher Chadok patted him on the shoulder, Akk’s heart beating wildly, craving release.
Then there was silence. After that day his body felt heavy, his powers uncontrollable, scars and scratches appearing all over his skin, nausea and migraines following him daily, especially on the days there were protests by the human students or aches behind his eyelids when someone cheated during the term exams.
Akk didn’t understand the pain he felt, nor could he explain the wrongness. He should feel proud that Suppalo chose him. It is his duty to protect Suppalo and its laws.
The light was still following him, always yellow-green, at times dirt brown or even black.
It was no longer his sun, but rather a dirty stain that marked his mistakes.