Chapter Text
(The Nethertime support force are all gathered in a market in Sardine World.)
Ao: (Picks up the Bass): Dad! Look at this one; he's funny looking, hehehe.
Fuji: Yeah, fish usually are, but don't play with the products, ok?
Pirilika: Aww, It’s ok, Fuji! Her hands are clean, and she put it back.
Fuji (concerned): … Did Canonline never teach you manners? Don't just grab stuff!
Yeyasu (visibly confused): H-hey! Wait up, Suise-GAH!
Fuji: HEY! Watch it shogun stupid!
Yeyasu: I'm sorry, don't kill me! I'm trying to follow Suisen! He was talking strange and just started walking off in that direction.
Pirilika: What? That's so unlike him to go off without explanation…
Fuji: Eh, he's probably fine; kids too descriptive anyway. It took weeks to teach him that he didn't need to tell me when he goes to the bathroom.
Ao: Maybe we should check on Suisui? Ao's worried..
Yeyasu: That's exactly what I'm doing, Ao! Let Yey Yey handle this!
(Yeyasu walks off confidently.)
Pirilika and Ao: (look at Fuji with puppy dog eyes)
Fuji: GAHH!… Cough, fine, we'll go! Just stop with the waterworks!
(They arrive at the edge of the dock; men are crowded into one area, all swooning and praising someone.)
Higan: Oh, hey, what are you guys doing here?
Fuji: I was about to ask you the same thing. What would you want from a fish market?
Higan: Fish? I'm here because I saw Yeyasu and Suisen go into that crowd earlier. Whoever they are talking too must be powerful to get so much attention on her!
Pirilika: Her? Well, that explains Yeyasu, but why is Suisen acting strange? He doesn't seem like the "lovelick" type.
Fuji: It’s love sick and you’re right.
Ceefore (trying to drag Yeyasu and Suisen away): GUYS! Come on, she's not gonna notice you! Let's go home.
Yeyasu: Ow! Ceefore, stop, we're fine! we just wanna admire this absolute witch-babe!
Suisen: brother please control yourself…however, I can't tear myself away either; perhaps I agree with him? how shameful..
Ceefore (concerned): Guys, please! something's wrong with her! Her soul is surrounded by a strange energy unlike anything I've seen; it's not right!
Fuji: Ceefore? It looks like you found idiot #1 and #2.
Ao: Suisui? Why is your face so bright? Are you ok?
Suisen: Yes Ao, I believe I'm fine-
Ceefore (worried): Everyone!? You have to leave! this magic knight she's-
???: Well well well..who's this tall drink of water?
(a magic knight appears sporting a large red bow on her head)
Fuji: Huh? Is this the big "showstopper" everyone was raving over? She looks like your average Jane Doe.
Rliss: Ohoho! funny and a looker! I like you. I am Rliss. What's your name?
Fuji: Fuji.
Fuji, thinking: Wait, why'd I say that!? this bitch could curse me with something even worse than empathy killer now!
Yeyasu: Fujiiii! no fair! I had a shot with her before you showed up.
Suisen: Why do I also feel anger? Fuji, you have slighted the Edogawa's!
Fuji: I doubt that. Anyway, go ahead and flounder if the two of you want; I want her anyway.
everyone: *shocked
Ao and Pirilika (becoming upset): Fuji…
Fuji (flustered): DON'T! I DON'T! What the hell!?
Ao: Uuhh, Dad, your face is bright like Suisui's now…
Higan: Hah! Does my nephew actually have a little crush!? How cute!
Fuji (face red): W-what!? No, I don't even know this woman!
Yeyasu (eyes become unfocused with hearts): I know I do! Say, how would you feel about becoming Mrs. Edogawa?
Suisen (eyes become unfocused with hearts): Brother, stop! I feel it's too late for you to find an heir; allow me to give her the title!
Fuji: HEY IDIOTS, SHE'S CLEARLY INTO ME—
Ao: DAD!?
Pirilika: FUJI?? Why did you say that!?
Fuji (visibly concerned): I DON'T KNOW??
Ceefore: This is bad.
Rliss (evil grin): Aww, Fuji, don't worry! After all!
Rliss helps Suisen up: there's plenty-
Rliss blows kisses at Yeyasu: of space-
Rliss gets close to Fuji, caressing his cheek: In my heart for all of you..
(Pirilika shoots at Rliss.)
Pirilika: …Stop touching him…
Fuji (surprised but relieved): Thanks, Piriko.
Fuji, thinking: She must have a spell like Tokugawa Tenge. My body refuses to move.
Ao: That weird lady is trying to take Dad, isn't she? Ao's going to freeze her into a snowman…
Fuji: Ao, aren't you happy? You have a mom now!
Fuji, thinking: !?
The girls: !?
Rliss (getting way too close to Fuji): Yes, Ao, I'm excited to be your new mom!
Ao: No! Ao doesn't like her!
Rliss, grabbing onto Fuji: Awww, come now, think of your poor papa! He needs someone in this harsh world! He's had issues with his daddy too!
The girls and Fuji are thinking: HOW DOES SHE KNOW ABOUT MUGAI!?
Fuji (trying to fight): Yeah. I'm. very *grits teeth* lonely..
Pirilika (angry): You're clearly making him say that!
Rliss: My dear Yeyasu, May I take your hand in marriage and claim my rightful place as your wife?
Yeyasu (way too excited): YES MAMMM!
Rliss, knelt down: Suisen, would you like to be my seer? Knowing you're there to secure my future would be heavenly!
Suisen (noticeably happy): I-I yes of course!
Rliss: Fuji, darling, I'm too frail to fight. Would you be my warrior in shining hakama and keep me safe?
Fuji, expression blank but smiling: I will.
Fuji, regains control: PIRIKO, SHOOT ME. RIGHT NOW.
Rliss, turning to the crowd: Don't worry my dear brutes! you're all to be my new husbands! Let's make haste to my mansion!
(They all cheer.)
Fuji: NO! STOP THAT!
Pirilika: "Make paste"? Are you from the medieval times!?
Rliss: …huh.
Fuji: You. m-mean haste... Ao stay with Piriko, ok...?
Ao, light bulb appears above her head: N-no, Ao wants to go with Dad and…*visibly gags* new mom…
Fuji, thinking: What!? No!
Rliss: Oohh, wonderful, well let's be off!
Pirilika: WAIT!
(The men, along with Rliss, Fuji, Ao, Suisen, and Yeyasu, all vanish; their weapons clang as they hit the ground.)