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The Avengers sat around the balcony, drinking and laughing boisterously about their newest mission. It had been a quick in and out, and for once everything had gone according to plan. No one was injured, the objective was completed, and everyone was cheerful.
Loki meandered out of the tower, coming to sit at his brother's side.
"Loki!" Tony yelled a bit too loudly in his slightly buzzed haze, approaching the trickster god, "Here, have a beer, that was a nice save with Cap's shield back there!"
Loki chuckled lowly, smirking at the inebriated engineer, "Thank you for the offer Stark but—"
Thor cut his brother off, reaching over and grabbing the beer from Tony's hand and setting it on the table next to him, "I'm afraid Loki isn't allowed to drink quite yet Stark, although I'll be happy to take that off your hands."
The billionaire frowned slightly, looking between the two gods.
"What do you mean he can't drink? You sober or something?" he asked loudly, gaining the attention of most of the other Avengers.
Loki shrugged, "I'm not old enough by Asgardian law to drink unless it's a holiday, and even then only maybe one toast."
Everyone who had overheard went silent, staring at the green-clad gremlin.
Bruce, who disliked drinking because he usually ended up losing control, tilted his head slightly and blinked, slightly perplexed, "How old.. is that?"
Loki glanced over, "Asgardians are considered of age to drink at the age of 1,500, although at 1,450 they have permission to drink in celebration of victory and holiday, which is why Thor is able to drink with you all."
Tony sputtered while the others gawked at the brothers, "wait-wait-wait, you're telling me that neither of you are technically legal??"
Before either of them could respond Bruce cleared his throat, oddly tense, "Loki, what's the average lifespan of an Asgardian?"
It was Loki's turn to frown at that, "About 6,000, why?"
Bruce looked down, muttering to himself and counting on his hands quietly before looking back up, "And how old are you and Thor?"
Loki, slightly annoyed at being ignored, huffed, "I- why do you want to know?"
"I'll explain once I finish, ages please?"
Before Loki could argue again Thor leaned over him with a grin, "I am 1,493 and Loki is 1,047 my friend."
Bruce went back to his mumbling before his eyes widened comically and he whipped his head up to stare at the two Aesir, green veins running faintly through his arms and neck.
"Bruciebear, share with the class please." Tony droned, although the hint of tension in his voice didn't go unnoticed.
A moment of silence passed, and Tony walked over to the still gaping Bruce.
He set a hand on the man's shoulder, which seemed to snap him out of his daze as he shrieked louder than they had probably ever heard him, "YOU'RE ONLY 17 AND 24???"
Loki and Thor both grimaced slightly and hunched, never having done the math themselves and knowing from the yells and gasps erupting from the other Avengers that the numbers were bad.
"I suppose so, in Midgardian terms." Loki said slowly, glancing at his brother, slightly confused that the numbers had gotten such a reaction.
"We fought a teenager?!"
"A teenager almost took over New York?!?"
"The god of thunder's brain isn't even fully developed!"
"What the fuck is wrong with Asgard???"
"Hey!" Loki argued, "I am not a TEENAGER."
"You're only seventeen!" Clint yelled, "You're not even a legal adult here on Earth!"
Loki sighed, and the Avengers watched as the god of trickery pouted.
Yes, the god was pouting like an upset child, leaning against his brother who was sipping his beer slowly as he watched them all freak out in confusion.
In retrospect, how did they not think to ask the man's age sooner?
Correction, how did they not think to ask the kid's age sooner??
He acted EXACTLY like an overdramatic teenager! He was the god of everything pranks and mischief for goodness sakes!!
"Would-" Thor cut himself off, swallowing, "Would it make you feel better if I told you that my father had plans to crown me king about a year ago?"
…
"WHAT???"
"...I don't know how to make this better."