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“Got a condom?”
Jay is such a pragmatist. Matt wonders if he knows what that word means. Wonders, too, how he has the presence of mind right now to think about STDs and AIDS - Matt feels concussed, just like he does every time Jay takes his clothes off. Half the time that he has them on, too.
There’s two-thirds of a box in his bedroom upstairs. There is also a pair stashed in the side table drawer, in case the couch saw any action. To Matt’s knowledge, it never has until today. So: there are condoms maybe two meters away from them. “No,” he says.
Jay makes a bitchy face. He’s red all down his neck. “Really?”
“Not a one.”
“None? What about that box in your bedroom.”
Damnit. “Used ‘em all up.”
“Seriously? Since when? That isn’t adding up, Matt-“
Jay’s shirt is rucked up to just below his chest. The red of his neck reappears below the hem, down his flat beautiful stomach, down to his hips and his cock. Matt took his pants off and kneeled back between his legs, had been opening him up. Now, Jay starts moving the leg that’s between Matt and the couch back up so he can stand.
Matt feels a surge of panic. He moves one palm to Jay’s chest and presses. With his other arm he leans into Jay’s leg, half-pinning it to the cushion. It’s not properly trapped, but Matt doesn’t know what he’d do next if Jay really tried to extricate himself. “What,” he says, aiming for unbothered and together, “worried I’m going to knock you up?”
Jay makes a noise in his throat, prissy and unamused. “Worried you’ve got some sort of parasite-“
“-In my jizz? A cum parasite?” He rolls his hips against Jay’s. It puts a little more of his weight on the hand on his chest. “All my swimmers are home-grown. Anything else I have you’ve probably gotten already.”
“Not your fucking-“ A little choke as Matt rolls his hips again. “-Your fucking brain disease.”
“Decent comeback.” And true - Matt was diseased, sickly and delirious, terminal, and Jay was free and clear, as evidenced by his even entertaining getting up off the couch. Matt would probably pass away if he tried. He moves his hand to push Jay’s shirt up a little further and leans down to mouth against the inside of his pec. “I don’t think that’s sexually transmissible.” Kiss to his warm skin. “What, don’t you want me?”
He groans - annoyed, not sexy. “Matt-“
“Don’t you want me, Jay?”
“Matt.” It’s a little breathy this time. “It’s just n-not safe.”
“But don’t you want to feel me?” His hand is back to Jay’s hole. Two fingers back in - he’s slick and hot, almost ready to go. A wave of some hormone or something rushes through Matt’s brain. Whatever - he’d do anything, is the point. The coarse hair on Jay’s thighs, the red flush on his stomach, his dark, dark eyes.
He looks beautiful. Hesitant, but close to surrender. “Not safe-“
“I just think you’d feel so good.” Fingers in deep, and a roll of his hips half against his own arm. “So good, Birdie. Don’t you want to make me feel good? I want to feel you around me.”
Jay shivers. Matt can feel him do it. His voice still has a token protest. “Yeah, I just-“
“Well, this will be good for me.” It comes out a little stern. He’s pushing, not even sure why, other than that he wants Jay to want him, doesn’t want him to leave, wants him warm and messy and flushed and here under him.
Matt elbows Jay’s legs around, then rolls his hips another time. Jay is hot against him. “I just want you raw. It’s better. You’re a man, you know that. Don’t you want me?” He crooks his fingers, and a beautiful perfect sound is pulled involuntary from Jay’s throat. “You want to feel me too, right? I’ve already got you all open. Just let me stick it in, come on, Jay, you’re ready for me.”
Matt pulls back enough to see his eyes, dark dark dark. He hesitates, then caves, just like Matt has gotten him to do a million times before. “Fine. Fine. Fuck, yes, I want you, just do it.”
Hot sparks are going off in Matt’s head. “Wait, really?”
Jay groans again. “Jesus, what do you mean, really? Yes, Matt, fuck.”
Matt springs into action, ready for Jay to change his mind or use his moment of weakness to spring off the couch and then, like, say he’s a fag and that his dick is too small to satisfy a partner of either sex, anyway. He pulls out his fingers and replaces them with the head of his dick in a breath.
His jaw is clenched. “Slow, Jesus.”
“Okay, okay-“
“I mean it, Matt, slow-“
He really is so high-maintenance. Matt loves it, actually - loves being chewed out, loves giving him what he wants and keeping it from him in equal measure. Loves this: talking him into it, corrupting him, putting his filthy hands all over him. He goes slow, but probably not slow enough, just one long dive into Jay.
Once he’s all the way in, he pauses. He feels a little like he’s been shot. He doubles over, forehead to Jay’s collarbone. Jay’s t-shirt over his mouth and nose. He can hear Jay’s shaky exhales. “Oh my god.” His hands flex on Jay’s pretty hipbones. “Oh my god. Feel so good. Thank you, Jaybird, thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” Matt pinches hard above one of his hips and he yelps. Matt can feel him react, feels him clench around him. “Dickhead.”
He starts to move, slow. “You’re so tight, Bird, Jesus. Feel so good.”
“Yeah?”
“Yes, Bird. Can’t believe I’m in you bare. Never been in someone bare before-“
“Wow, asshole.” Jay shivers again. There’s a note of something affected in his voice, a crack in the armor. “It’s better? You’re such a dick.”
“Just common knowledge. And now I know for sure.” He leans back down, face by Jay’s shoulder. It’d be easy to turn and kiss him, but it’s easier to hide. “Besides - ah - you’re the only man I’ve been with. Wouldn’t be safe with a woman. We don’t need a little MJ Jr. running around.”
And, under it, the truth, that Matt had wanted them but never like he wants Jay. Every little thing that separates them feels like a crime. He gets his hands under Jay’s rucked up t-shirt and starts dragging it over his head. “Fuck this thing.”
Jay lets him. Matt throws it to the ground and then there Jay is, tan and boyish and gorgeous. “God, Jay. You’re so handsome.” He starts to move a little harder. Jay arches. “And you feel so good. Perfect for me. So glad I can give it to you like this, fill you up.”
Jay whines. “You’re going to fill me up?”
Honest to God, Matt hadn’t even meant it that way, but now he does. “Yes. Yes, I am, yeah, Bird. Lucky me, you don’t have the parts, so I can give you my come as much as I want.”
He exhales hard. “But - God,” he continues, “even if you did, Jay, I don’t know that I could help myself, now that I know how you feel. So perfect for me. Risky, but - ugh, Jay.”
Matt didn’t know he still had any higher order brain function to spare, but the thought flattens him out even more. He shifts his hands to rub his thumbs against Jay’s skin between his cock and belly button. “I’d want to fill you up, even if it wasn’t safe. Make you mine.”
Jay is lying there and taking it, shivering, so sweet, but he grimaces. “Jesus, Matt, why-“
He speeds up again. Jay moans, head tipped back. “You love this.” His neck, his Adam’s apple. “Love having me inside, Jay, I can tell. Wish I could be in you all the time. Gonna come inside, give you something you can carry around.”
He just means the creampie, but once the words come out he knows how it sounds. “Make you mine. Everybody will see you and know I did it.” He wraps a hand around Jay’s cock. “Your body wants it, I can tell. So ready for me. Just me being in you is risky, but I’m not going to pull out.”
Matt feels sweaty, feverish. “What do you think, Bird, want me to knock you up? Make you a mommy?”
“What the fuck, Matt-“
Matt is embarrassed and so turned on. Jay is breathing hard, eyes dark, body reactive, but he’s looking up at him with a face that’s incredulous and a little annoyed, like the plan has just started to fall apart. It’s so him that Matt only feels closer, more hot.
“I’m going to come in you,” Matt says. He’s really going for it, now, uncertain he could stop if he tried. “Gonna make you mine, Bird, keep you. All mine. I’m going to knock you up, Jay, give you my come. Give it to you again and again, fuckin’, gonna throw all the condoms out. Keep you here, keep you mine. You want it? Want me to come inside you?”
Jay is moaning as Matt pounds into him. If Matt is lucky he’s stopped registering the words at all, but that dark part of his brain wants an answer, an affirmation. “Come on, Jay, you want it? Say yes.”
“Matt-“
“Bird, tell me you want it.”
He moans. “Yeah.”
Matt can’t believe it. “Want it? Want my come?”
“Shit, Matt, yes.”
“Inside?”
“Yes, asshole, inside, please, holy shit-“
That takes Matt from about 80% right to the finish line in as long for it takes him to process the words. His orgasm hits hard, delirious and thought-annihilating. He feels himself spill into Jay, suddenly even hotter and more slick and less tight than he was, proof of Matt’s influence.
Before the lights are even all the way back on in his head, he’s jerking Jay’s cock hard. “Come on, Jay. So good for me. Want you to get off. You’re so beautiful, you just took it.”
Jay comes, and Matt can feel every little movement, his cock twitching, the shiver up his spine, the way he bears down on Matt, still inside, in a way that is mind-altering and almost painful in the overstimulation. He’s noisy, a string of little nonsense sounds. When he relaxes it’s all at once, like someone pulled his cable out of the wall.
Matt drops down onto him. Jay’s come is pasting their bare chests together. He can feel both of them in sync trying to catch their breaths.
A long moment, and then one of Jay’s big hands is in the hair on the back of Matt’s head. “Dude,” he says, “you need to learn how to shut the fuck up.”
Matt flushes. Time has started moving again, and he suddenly remembers the last five minutes. “Bird-“
“Make me a mommy? What the hell?”
“Heat of the moment.” Matt reluctantly sits up back onto his knees. He’s just avoiding looking at Jay at first, but then he pulls out and has something to look at instead. His hole, abused and dripping. Matt feels a wave of - something, one part caveman arousal and one part ego boost and one part soft baby kitten affection, like he less wants to be the baby daddy and more the man of the house. Jay is so pretty, flat but soft, dark hair everywhere, and Matt gets to touch him like this. “Look so good.”
He’s blushing. “Fuck off. Look like a cheap whore, I’m sure.” He moves his leg up again, and this time Matt is too dazed and brain-dead to stop him before he’s standing. “God. This feels so weird. Wet. Ugh, gross, I seriously need to go clean up.”
Jay turns to go up the stairs. Matt puts a joking tone into his voice. “I think you’re supposed to keep it in if you want it to take-“
He sounds like he’s laughing, at least. “Shut the fuck up, Matt.”