Chapter Text
The Eye was not benevolent. It was not kind nor malicious, it simply was. A force of nature, it had no will or wants; though a simple push could send the universe careening down a determined path. True to its nature, time seemed to still within the eye. The universe could end and start again beyond the clouds, but the Eye remained constant.
The signal did not call to you. It did not call to the Nomai, nor the Owlk. It was simply pure chance that they encountered it. It was pure chance that the Eye was found when it was; that you were here. It could not be said if luck was on your side. It was a horrible coincidence to be born at the very end of the universe, yet the possibility to wave farewell to the world was yours and yours alone. Of all the versions of you, all the possibilities you had lived through, this was the one chosen to say goodbye.
You had made your choice long ago. Many loops had passed, spent debating, sobbing, contemplating. Time and time again you would waste a loop just to let your friends repeat their mindless dialog. Was it better to live like this, never changing? Or should you let go. Oh how you wanted to hold on, dig your fingernails into the soil and scream that you wouldn't let it end; but you always knew. It was a fact of life that you were going to die someday, you just never expected it to be so soon.
Of all the deaths in the world, you would choose this one over and over again. To be surrounded by your friends, sitting at a campfire just like you used to; watching countless possibilities unfold above. It was peaceful, in an almost morbid way. On some level, this could not be true. There was nothing that would let the universe behave this way. But that was your undoing, wasn't it? You had so desperately believed that the end could not be true- that there must be some way to save everyone. Perhaps there were no rules here.
The smoke overhead flashed with shapes both new and familiar, swirling clouds filled with uncertainty. You could change that. Step into the light, let the universe begin anew. It was a bittersweet end. To let your end be the start of something new, your corpse nourish the seeds of this new universe. And yet, and yet...
You were selfish. You wanted to live. You wanted to tear and claw your way back from the edge, because it wasn't fair. You had accepted this so long ago, but that anger still boiled deep within. Your blood ran hot like the Lantern's lava, bright and painful; you were just so tired. You missed the days when you were but a tadpole, when the adults would cradle you in their arms and tell you everything would be alright. You wanted to go back. You wanted to go home.
Your tears had ran dry so long ago. Mourning for a universe that had to die was exhausting. There was never enough time. When you sobbed under the blankets so hard you could not breathe, time would simply reset, and act like your grief had never happened. There was never enough time to tell everyone about your discoveries, like they would even believe you.
Perhaps Chert was right. Maybe the whole timeloop was you simply coming to terms with your premature end. Maybe you had died that first loop, and this was your way of coping.
Even so, this felt so real. For a brief moment, you tuned out the sorrow in your head to look around at the gathered group. You wanted them to be happy. Even if just in your mind, you wanted them to live. Even if they just had a new life in whatever came next, you'd be happy.
Whatever came next, whatever changed or stayed the same, you hoped that the happiness everyone felt here would persist. Of course, there was certainly a very big thing you wanted to persist, a whole universe worth of it actually, but if you had to choose one thing, it'd be this.
Looking around at everyone felt surreal. For once, they weren't static. There was no script they followed every single time. Your staring caught the attention of a few, who either waved or gave various gestures of encouragement. We're these the people belonging to one specific loop? Or were they amalgamations of every different time you've interacted with them? Of course, there was the third and arguably true possibility; that these were just figments of your imagination conjured to let you accept the inevitable death of the know universe, but it was best not to dwell on that, lest you go more insane than you probably already were.
Well, you had waited long enough. Even if time didn't exist here, there was no point in sitting here and waiting. Not like anything could improve your situation. A part of you was still believing this was all some messed up dream, that you would wake up and everything would be fine and the memories would fade like dust in the wind. You doubted that could happen now.
The smoke felt no different from the surrounding air. The scent of pine trees and smoked wood wafting around you in a familiar embrace. It was inviting, like an old friend you hadnt seen in ages. Hornfels had told you once, that everyone was made of stardust, reconstructed in a new form after death. This was those fine particles reuniting with the others to form the world anew.
You hesitated.
All you wanted was to go home. Why was this so hard? You should be excited to create something new, but all you could think about was how much you wanted to go home. So many of your friends and family weren't here to say goodbye, and it felt so wrong. Worry turned to fear as your momentum kept you falling into the smoke. Was this a mistake? Had you messed up? Oh stars, you couldn't do this. You just wanted home. You wanted your friends. You wanted your family.
You wanted to live.