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What would you think if I told you I was two different people? Would you assume maybe I was a fraud or maybe I had multiple personality disorder? But would you ever assume that the second version of myself was a sexual version of myself? Most people wouldn’t. That’s why I keep my second identity a secret, except to one person… and I call him ‘Sir’ but surprisingly most of the world knows his real identity… Liam Payne of One Direction. I call Liam, ‘Sir’ behind closed doors and of course Liam when we’re out in public but when I’m talking about our relationship or we are behind closed doors and in private and regardless of whether we are doing a scene, I call him Sir.
I met Sir in a nightclub six months ago, and we started off as friends but our relationship gradually developed into a friends with benefits scenario where we experimented with BDSM and then when he finally had the courage to ask me to be his girlfriend, we decided as part of our relationship which was very public, there would be something that only the two of us knew about, we decided to have a dominant and submissive relationship – Liam the dominant and I the submissive. However this only happens behind closed doors or when we go to nightclubs. In other situations however, Sir can be quite over protective and jealous so in order to not make him mad I must not be overly affectionate with people or do anything that might trigger him to punish me later. Before I met Sir I would have never thought of myself as a submissive.
My normal or public identity and personality is one that is quite confident and forward. I am affectionate and love to make new friends – male or female which can get me into trouble with Sir. My public identity is a nineteen year old Australian girl who has moved over to England to be a photographer and a journalist. My move to England had been my ambition since I was ten years old and I got my first professional camera. My room was covered in photographs I had taken with the family compact digital camera and my Polaroid camera and I had journals upon journals full of short stories, entries about my daily life and my goals and articles I had written about events happening in the world and my opinions on them. Nothing is different now – I still keep a journal, I still take photos to put on the walls of my apartment except now I’m studying a Bachelor of Journalism/Arts (Majoring in Photography).
I like having two sides to myself, it gives me a chance to behave in different ways in front of different people especially people who don’t know me. They only get to know half of me which makes me feel somewhat mysterious.
Sir always makes sure he takes care of me; he is affectionate when I have been a good girl and he punishes me when I’ve been naughty. I enjoy being punished but I really like it when Sir is affectionate and the type of person the public sees. We are a normal couple as well, we go to the movies and out for dinner and on cute picnic dates and we travel together too. But we just have another private side of our relationship. He is a gentleman regardless of whatever personality he is portraying and that’s why I love him – whether he is Liam or Sir. He’s not two different people to me, to me he’s the one person with two sides that he shows in other ways in public… through the way he organises the other boys and is like the “Daddy” like the other boys call him. He can be dominant in the way he acts in front of the press when they are harassing the other boys girlfriends or even me.
“Cass, what are you doing?” Sir asked as he walked into the bedroom where I was sitting and reading one of my university textbooks trying to finish a photography assignment.
“A university assignment Sir, do you need me to do something?”
“No baby, you’re okay… listen I’m going out to Zayn’s for an hour or so. When I get home I want you to be in that sexy little outfit I bought you last week and your kitten ears and be all ready for me on the bed okay baby?”
“Yes Sir.”
“You’re going to be a good little kitten for Sir aren’t you?” he smirked.
I nodded and he came over to me and kissed my forehead.
“See you when I get home kitten and remember, no touching.”
“Yes Sir.”
When I heard Liam leave the apartment I put my assignment items away and cleaned up our bedroom and went over to my chest of drawers and pulled out the black teddy and matching lace panties Liam had bought for me when he was in Paris. I went to Sir’s bedside table and took out the black kitten ears he had bought me, and my black collar that had my name on it and put them on the bed. I went and had a shower and washed my long light brown hair and dried it and straightened out the curls and put on the teddy and panties like Sir wanted and clipped my kitten ears in and waited on the bed for Sir to return, curled at the end of the bed.
The first time Sir and I experimented with BDSM, I was so scared he would hurt me but he kept reassuring me with soft kisses, breaking his dominating personality and being Liam the gentleman. But now that we have been together for four months and doing at least five scenes a week, he knows how much I can take and keeps testing my boundaries each time. The part of our relationship I really enjoy is when Sir makes me sit on the ground in front of him when we watch TV and he pets me and is affectionate from somewhat afar – keeping me waiting and keeping me wanting more.