Work Text:
It had been a… hard night, to say the least.
Aaron was honestly still processing the fact that he was still alive. His mind was still stuck several hours in the past when he’d gripped Zane by the collar and made peace with his own death as the price for ridding the world of that filthy, lying piece of shit.
Everything after pulling him and Garrath out of Irene’s dimension had been a blur. Aaron knew he had stood, the neck of a treacherous monster in one hand, and the combined relics in the other, when a blur of emerald green had flashed from the shadows behind the priest. He’d dropped both Zane and the relic in shock, before nearly collapsing backwards in an unexpected wave of exhaustion and pain. There’d been a blur of green and blue, Garroth and Laruence’s swords he was later told, and a guttural, choked scream before the sound of flesh tearing, and then he’d blacked out.
The next thing he remembered was blinding white light, an oddly familiar voice, and then waking up in the makeshift base in the yggdrasil tree in New Phoenix Drop. There’d been frantic shouting, screaming almost, and a guttural cry of relief when he’d managed to open his stinging, bleary eyes.
Now, several hours, as much healing magic as Aphmau could use, and much swearing and scolding from Zoey later, Aaron was still weak, but sitting up and no longer in danger of death. Aphmau, Garroth and Laurence had stayed in the tree, the three talking over his silent, drifting form, while Zoey had gone down to talk to Levin and Malechi. Their conversation had drifted into a long, calm quiet as sounds of music and laughter drifted up from the village below.
Garroth sighed near silently before perking up, a determined look on his face. Aaron privately thought he looked very akin to an excited dog, in that moment.
“Right— everyone else is having fun, we shouldn’t just sit around all night.” He jumped up, taking Aphmau’s hands in his and stepping backwards, towards the more open space in the tree, “C’mon, let’s dance!” His smile shone like the sun, and Aaron could see it— the need to distract, the bright disposition trying to eclipse the dark mood settling over their little group.
“But—“ She glanced back at Aaron, brows creased and eyes wide with worry, and something in him cracked open.
“Go, I’ll be fine.”, he said, smiling in a way that tried for reassurance but landed closer to something like a grimace, “Garroth’s right, you deserve to celebrate, too. Go have fun.”
She gnawed her lip, hesitating long enough for Aaron to reach up with a shaking hand and weakly squeeze her shoulder. It fell to her waist when she finally let the blond knight pull her to her feet, then fell limp as they twirled out of reach.
They’d managed to get him sat up, though he was still weak and exhausted from his stunt breaking the realm barrier. He watched as Garroth spun Aphmau around in clumsy circles, no doubt also exhausted, but determined to put a smile on his lord’s face.
His efforts did not seem fruitless, though— in moments, Aphmau’s face had scrunched, fighting off giggles as the stress and tension slowly dripped off her frame. The frail, damaged thing in him fractured further open. She shouldn’t be so worried, not right now, not for him—
“Hey, Garroth’s right, y’know.”, a voice on Aaron’s right cut through his spiraling thoughts.
His eyes flicked to its owner– Laurence had been a near-silent fixture there since they’d dragged his sorry ass into their makeshift base in the tree. Aphmau and Garroth had been a torrent of worried voices and gentle hands, Garroth both thanking him and begging for forgiveness in equal measures while Aphmau wore herself thin trying to keep Aaron from dying. Laurence had been silent, wordlessly handing them anything needed and watching, eyes trailing the black and purple marks on Aaron’s skin with something like concern, with something like understanding.
It made Aaron’s skin crawl– he already felt exposed without his bandana, but here, with this dear to someone he held dear, so clearly seeing into his motivations and meeting his gaze with understanding, with sympathy? It made him feel raw, flayed open. Vulnerable.
“I know.”, he choked out, trying for gruffness and missing by a mile, “That’s why I told her–”
“Oh, no no, I don’t think you really do.”, Laurence interrupted, mouth quirking to the side in mischief, “He said we, an inclusive statement of us all. That includes you, y’know?”
Aaron blinked, uncomprehending.
Blue-green eyes were rolled so hard that Aaron was almost concerned for the other’s face. “C’mon, you can’t be that socially inept– did that asshole high priest knock that pretty head of yours around one too many times?”, he teased, bringing a hand up to gently prod at the side of Aaron’s head.
He blinked again, scowling to mask the burning in his face as he leaned away from the questing hand. “I don’t dance.”
“You don’t have to be all dark stoicism all the time, y’know.” The hand fell to rest on his forearm, “You’ve gotten your revenge– though Irene only knows what it was for.
The addition sounded too much like assurance, like I don’t know your secrets, don’t worry, they’re safe. It sounded too much like they would be safe with me. If you wanted, I’d keep your secrets safe.
His face burned hotter. He dropped his eyes.
“I can barely stand.”, he muttered, swallowing the shame that followed the admission. It had no use to him, not now, and especially not here. That much he’d learned, that much he knew for certain.
Laurence scoffed quietly, leaning his head down to look into Aaron’s eyes. The angle made them look bigger, more earnest, somehow. “You’re forgetting, handsome stranger, what I am.”, he leaned back, hopping up to stand at Aaron’s side. “I,” he leaned down, taking Aaron’s hands in his with almost too much gentleness, “am a shadow knight.”
He slid one of Aaron’s arms over his shoulder, and before he could really process anything going on in this batshit situation, Laurence was bodily hauling him upwards and he was forced to sluggishly struggle to get his feet under him, lest he trip and fall like a fool.
“I carried your sorry ass through the forest, up a ladder and into that bed; I can support you for a few minutes to have some more than deserved fun.” The knight’s voice was much closer now– they were practically chest to chest with Laurence holding up most of his weight. He expected a grin, or a cocky smirk when he looked at the other’s face. The smile that greeted him was much gentler, however, surprising amounts of care bleeding out of the gentle curve of his lips.
Aaron’s eyes skittered away as if the sight burned him. “You won’t drop this, will you?”
“Nope!”
Aaron groaned, dragging up as much put-out gruffness as he could. Judging by how Laurence's grin widened, he hadn’t succeeded.
“Fine.” he finally conceded, bringing his other arm up around Laurence’s shoulders for lack of a better place to put it.
The other’s grin was equal parts sly and beaming. It took everything in him to suppress years of survival instincts and self-isolation habits as an arm slid round his waist to better support him.
It was less dancing and more a slow shuffle around the open space, the way Laurence slowly swayed and carefully stepped back every few steps, leading him in a slow, careful circle. For all his poking and prodding, Laurence was careful as he supported his weight. It could’ve easily been passed as exercising his legs, keeping the muscles from atrophying as he would no doubt be kept on bed rest for the next few days. It was much calmer than the joyous, reckless circles Garroth was leading Aphmau in but a few feet from them.
Aaron’s eyes drifted past Laurence’s head to the two dancing across the space from them. Aphmau looked tired, but she was smiling, laughing as Garroth spun her out clumsily. They crashed together as she spun back, almost toppling over, and they giggled, as carefree as children.
This was why Aaron had made the choice he had. He’s seen Aphmau agonizing, clearly in pain at the idea of someone she loved dearly was trapped in an endless battle, so displaced from time as they were when– if– he could ever get out. She needed someone like Garroth to help her– his sunny disposition, his bright, gentle confidence. Aaron had seen, before Garroth’s fall, the way it had eroded her stress, helped her be calm and confident.
Aaron couldn’t offer Aphmau that sort of calm, gentle confidence. He was all walls and closed doors, distrust and caution. He could offer her physical support, a distraction, but that was it. He had no softness left in him– his gentleness with Lillith was the closest he’d gotten to being soft in years. He couldn’t offer her that gentle confidence when he barely knew what to do with himself, didn’t know what to live for if not the revenge of his sundered family. He couldn’t give her anything of real permanence of value, what was he but a damaged, broken shell–
“Hey, hey,” He didn’t realize his ears were ringing until a gentle voice broke the silence, mental spiral burned and left to crumble to ash in his mind, “Hey, keep those pretty eyes on course, yeah?”
His eyes shot back to his dancing partner, and–
“There you are.” Laurence murmured, eyes so soft and voice full of more gentleness and care than he’d heard in his life. Those shifting blue and green eyes, they were such deep pits of emotion, playfulness and easy confidence, and so much care, and–
It was all directed at Aaron, and–
The small, frail, cracked thing in him crumbled to dust in its wake.
He blinked hard, breath punching out in a shaky sigh as his head dipped. His forehead landed on Laurence’s shoulder, and he couldn’t find it in himself to feel shame in the wake of his exhaustion.
The other hummed in response, hand sliding up his back minutely before dropping back down, up and down. There was a moment of Aaron trying to time his breathing with the slow movement of Laurence’s hand, before the knight broke the silence.
“I think Aphmau’s the type that needs people by her side.” He starts, quietly, “He needs Zoey’s gentle guidance and wisdom, and needs Garroth’s sunny reassurance and confidence.” He chuckled, then, and it sounded uncharacteristically self-deprecating, “Dare I say she may even need me, incorrigible flirt that I am.”
“She needs your loyalty.” Aaron surprised himself with the interjection from his hoarse, shaking voice, “She needs someone to put her above all else.”
Laurence hummed thoughtfully, and Aarom almost felt it against his head. “Maybe. My point, though, is that she needs you, too.”
He couldn’t hide the way he stiffened at that, not if the way the other braced against him as well was anything to go by.
“She needs your strength and your support.”, the knight insisted. “Your stalwart steadiness gives her the strength she needs, and she knows she can depend on you to be strong when she can’t. She needs you just as much as she needs the rest of us.”
Aaron opened his mouth to disagree, but was interrupted before he could.
“You may not be able to see it– from what I can gather, you’ve treated yourself as a vessel for your revenge for years.”, Laurence started, “You can’t see anything beyond whatever wrong you’re determined to right. But it’s there– Aphmau has Garroth’s gentle reassurance, my steadfast loyalty– she needs someone to show her how to be strong without breaking, and someone to be strong when she does break.
“You didn’t see her before, so you can’t see how you’ve helped her. She’s more confident, more secure in herself and her decisions. You can’t see it, but when she starts to falter, she looks to you for strength. You can’t see it, but you help her. She needs you too.”
Aaron let the words wash over him, sifting through the dust of the cracked, crumbled thing inside of him. “Maybe.”, he relented, borrowing the other’s earlier words.
Laurence laughed, soft and rumbling through his chest. “Using my own words against me now, huh? Well, that’s fine. You’ll see in time.” He paused for a moment, shifting Aaron’s weight to lean against him the slightest bit more, “And maybe, you can learn to let others be strong for you, too.”
It was hard to believe, though he supposed that was the point Laurence was making. It was hard to feel strong in this moment, hardly able to hold his own weight after nearly throwing his life away, but… maybe that was part of it, too. He had to learn when to lean on others, if he wanted to be reliable to support others himself. He was so used to carrying the weight of everything on his own– years upon years of solitude, trusting no one as he hunted the man who murdered his people.
But that man was gone, and he had people he trusted, now. He trusted aphmau, and, much to his own shock, he realized he trusted Laurence, too. He hadn’t been this physically vulnerable with someone in a long, long time. Somehow, the knight was able to peer into his deepest thoughts, his deepest insecurities, those he wouldn’t even let himself see. And he met them with understanding.
“Maybe.”, he crooked again, fingers gripping the back of Laurence’s tunic of their own accord as the pair continued their silent swaying dance.