Chapter Text
Ragnar x Avery
Ragnar grabs Avery’s cock, shoves it into his mouth, and begins sucking it like it’s a chocolate shake through a straw.
“By Peach!” Avery hollers, fisting Ragnar’s hair as he explodes all over the other man’s face.
Li x Stev (Part 1)
Li grabs Stev’s cock, shoves it into their mouth, and begins eagerly sucking it like it’s an orange creamsicle shake through a straw, all with a great deal of enthusiasm and questionable skill. The romance books they’d borrowed from Dahlia hadn’t really spelled out the specifics.
“Holy cabbages and stale water!” Stev hollers a moment later, hands burying in Li’s hair as he explodes all over Li’s face and chest.
Li x Stev (Part 2)
Li has it down this time. They’ve studied the books. They’ve asked the townspeople (with varying degrees of success, mostly because Raven is out of town). They’ve done the research.
Li pulls at Stev’s pants, only to find they don’t rip off like they do in the books. Instead, they pull too hard as the pants tighten around his sensitive anatomy. Stev grunts and doubles over, tears in his eyes, and manages, “Not the baby cabbages…!”
Li x Stev (Part 3)
Li has done more research. Lots of it. The old book Anna has in her personal library has lots of examples, and this one looks easy. They’ve got this.
They urge Stev to lean back, ignoring his look of mild concern. “Are you sure…?”
“Shh.” Li climbs on top of him. The pictures were super detailed. They can’t mess this up. They move into position, angling him up—
And miss.
And miss again.
It’s so slippery! They pout as they try and fail. They will NOT mess this up.
“Wait—” Stev groans as Li awkwardly falls on top of him, and, in a high pitch voice as they collapse on top of him as they pin part of him at an awkward angle, manages, “The cabbage is limp now.”
Archiary x Gaudi
Archiary smirks as she grabs Gaudi’s cock, takes it into her mouth, and begins sucking it like it’s a strawberry shake through a straw. It’s a new technique she’s heard about, and it’s sure to drive him wild.
“Archiary!” Gaudi hollers, fingers groping the bookshelves behind him, trying to balance himself, but it’s no use, Archiary sucks for all she’s worth as he comes all over her chest.
Thank Peach he barely missed dirtying the pile of paperwork he’s just finished.
Anna x Avery
Anna glances over at the book on the nightstand and again at the man before her. Raven’s not here to check, so she’s going to have to do this herself.
Well, everyone else is swearing by it. She unbuttons Avery’s pants and pulls his cock into her mouth, sucking it like it’s a mint chocolate chip milkshake.
“By Peach!” Avery hollers, his hands flying to her hair as he gasps and tries to pull away, but it’s no use. A moment later he comes all over her bare chest.
Dahlia x Avery
Dahlia is willing to try anything once, and so she takes Avery’s cock in hand, and, like the others instructed, sucks it like it’s a vanilla milkshake with extra whipped cream.
“Not again!” Avery manages, panting, as he scrambles to pull away. But though he tries, it’s too late, and he comes all over her face.
Francine x Avery
Francine isn’t entirely certain about this. But everyone else is, and so she takes Avery’s cock in her one hand and, like she’s told, sucks it like it’s a cookie dough milkshake through a straw.
“Again?!” Avery manages, both resigned and horrified, but it’s too late. He comes over her face with a heavy groan.
Ash x Ragnar
Ash smirks as he tucks a lock of hair behind one ear. Oh, he’s heard about this trick, and he’s down for it. He’ll try anything once.
He reaches for Ragnar’s cock and sucks it like it’s a caramel milkshake through a straw.
“Fuck!” Ragnar bites on his lower lip as he comes all over Ash’s grinning face.
Fuck yeah. He’s still got it.
Gaudi x Avery
Gaudi grabs Avery’s cock, shoves it into his mouth, and begins sucking it like it’s a Nutella shake through a straw.
“By Peach! I can’t do this again!” Avery groans in agony, fisting Gaudi’s hair as he explodes all over the other man’s face.
Milkshakes Bring All the Boys to Raven’s Office
Raven stirs her blueberry açaí milkshake with vigor as the men come by her office, one by one, and blanch as they spy the milkshake before sharing their recent encounters. A few of them are even limping.
Dammit, she leaves town for a week on a romantic getaway with Ines and everyone else in town loses their damn minds.
Sighing, she decides it’s time to host a proper blowjob class.
It’s for the entire damn town’s own good.