Work Text:
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
The air was suffocating, hanging above them as Kris racked their mind for an answer. Their mouth felt like it was filled with sand, even if they had an answer, it would feel too heavy on their tongue to move it. Why didn’t they?
Their voice came out a whisper, cracking like a wrecked ship. “I couldn’t.”
Susie’s eyes flickered, though the emotion they were portraying couldn’t be read. Confusion? Sadness? Her eyes narrowed and Kris knew the emotion all too well, though it had been a while.
Anger.
Kris was off the ground before they could even blink, their shirt gripped tightly in Susie’s hands. They couldn’t fight back and didn’t have the mental strength to either. Locks of hair fell into their eyes as they tried to avoid her gaze.
“That’s bullshit Kris, and you know it.”
If they had words to say, they were caught in the back of their throat.
After a moment of silence, Susie dropped them. The pain didn’t register quite yet. Looking up at her from that angle, Kris couldn’t recognize the monster in front of them, evidently, still Susie, but angrier than they had ever seen her. She stood tall, turned away from Kris, but her whole body was tense, as though she was fighting against invisible strings. A tear fell in front of Kris’ shoes, but their cheeks were dry.
“So everything was a lie then, huh?” She didn’t elaborate any more for Kris to know what she was asking.
“No–I wanted–” Faint pressure pushed against Kris’ chest. Please, not now.
♡ Yes. It was never real.
They bit their sleeve before their words could come out. Susie looked down at them with empty eyes.
“What?”
They didn’t–couldn’t–answer.
“Now’s not the time to be all silent. You piss me off.”
It pushed harder, Kris’ teeth hurt from the clenching, they could’ve ripped their sweater sleeve. Susie faced away again, as if the sight of them was too disgusting to look at. Kris wanted to tell her. So badly. It pushed inside their chest, slamming into it as if to get their attention.
This stupid, wretched thing.
Kris’ hands grasped at their chest, shoving in to grab it. It fought against them, flying around, crashing inside of their ribcage avoiding their hands. They looked crazy.
Finally, they grabbed hold and tugged, feeling the strings tethering inside of them like broken guitar strings until they were finally cut. It felt cold and wet in Kris’hands, they threw it to the ground, it pulsed on the hardwood.
Immediately, the damage from that day hit them all at once–the lack of food, all the fighting, the soreness from hitting the ground just a few moments before–a wave of exhaustion settled over Kris, seeping deep into their bones. It wasn’t the time to rest, not right now.
Kris crawled onto their knees, staring right at Susie, though she wasn’t looking back. Her gaze followed the dimly glowing SOUL hovering over the ground.
“Susie–” their voice was hoarse, she would have to strain to hear them, “I’m sorry.”
She still didn’t look back, “That’s it?”
“It was real. I promise it was.”
Glowing yellow eyes met Kris’, tears stained her cheeks and her voice was quiet like a little kid’s.
“Then why couldn’t you tell me?”
Silence fell over the two for a long moment. Blood pounded in Kris’ ears as their eyes flickered to the SOUL and back to Susie. They sucked in a harsh breath between their teeth
“It won’t let me.”
Her face shifted. Hard features softened into something more neutral, something familiar, but not quite knowing. A memory, almost.
“How long has it been there?”
“Since right before we found the dark world. But I don’t know why it’s there–” Words they struggled to find earlier all came to their head, spilling out all at once, “It like… controls me… helps me fight and tells me what to say. I don’t get to choose the words just come out and I can’t stop it–I’m sorry for not tell–”
“Stop talking”
Kris stopped abruptly, their mouth still open in a speaking position, “What’s wrong?”
Confusion spread across Susie’s face, or maybe disbelief.
“If it’s telling you what to say, then how do I know that you mean anything?”
“Well–sometimes–but I can stop myself and it’s not all of the time that it’s controlling me. L-like at the diner that was me and at church the other day–and right now.”
Her movement was swift and gentle when she reached down to grab the beating soul on the ground. She held it carefully, like it was made of glass. Despite this, Kris still winced. Susie didn’t react.
“Does it hurt when I touch it?” Her voice was soft.
“It’s like…” they searched their mind for the words, “sensitive. If you hit it or throw it, then that hurts.”
She dragged a finger over it, just barely touching, Kris could faintly feel it.
“It helps when we fight. Takes all of the damage for me.”
The soul moved out of her hands, floating around in the dim room.
“Isn’t that helpful?”
“It could be, if I had control.”
Susie dropped to the floor next to Kris, leaning up against the wall. She sat close enough to them that it could maybe be considered her accepting their apology. Kris wasn’t quite sure and didn’t want to assume.
“I want to believe that this is real–” she gestured in the distance between them, “–I’m just really confused, Kris.”
Kris finally moved the hair out of their eyes, dim red met a stark yellow. They finally recognized Susie’s face again. Their voice was soft now. “Will you let me explain it to you?”
Susie smiled, but it dropped as quickly as it came. “I don’t know if I can take it,” she paused, “this is kinda much for a day like this, right?”
Kris hummed in response, staring forward at the soul flying around the room. “I promise it’s real,” they looked back at Susie, “I love hanging out with you.”
Her smile was much more genuine this time, and it stayed for longer too. “You’re so gross… but you’re cool too. I guess.” Kris didn’t respond, just moved closer to her. They were a bit hesitant but nonetheless decided to rest their head on her shoulder, she didn’t push away, they weren’t sure if they should’ve expected her to or not.
Kris could see the reflection of the soul’s dim red light on Susie’s face out of the corner of their eye, they wondered if she was looking at them too. They only had a little while longer before the soul needed to be back inside of them, but for now, they could enjoy this moment. Even if only for a moment, everything would be okay.