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The Gate whispered, and Ed sighed as information flooded his mind. He hated when this happened. Not only did it mean that Truth was about to drag him out of his life again but it always gave him a headache too. Then he paused. Undying something or other pissing off Truth, okay, nothing new; irresponsible arrogant idiots who thought they were immortal gods, not again; humans doing their best do deal with this undying snake thing and his army— wait a minute.
Ling’s fist impacted his jaw. “Ha, my win!” the Idiot exclaimed. “You were a little distracted there, Ed. Something happening?”
“Truth,” he grumbled. How was he supposed to deal with a whole army?
“Why is it only you who gets these weird jobs from that thing?”
“I’m the only one who’s been there enough.” Ed answered, and then paused. There was no way he could handle an army by himself, but maybe he could if he brought backup. The Colonel had called him all the way in Xing last night, gushing about his and Hawkeye’s daughter. Al wasn’t an option. His baby brother was staying far away from Truth’s errands.
The Gate whispered approval. Tell Truth this, he thought at the Gate. If I go alone I will die. If I die this undying snake thing gets to keep ignoring the Law. If I bring someone else I can win. “Hey Ling, Greed, it’s a wannabee Bearded Bastard with an army. I need backup. Feel like coming?”
“Sure! Sounds interesting!” Ling answered, then Greed added, “Hell yeah!”
I’m bringing Ling. He finished. Goldie flamed into existence near them, trilling her approval.
“Young Lord!” Lan Fan yelled as the talons sank into their clothes, then there was fire, then white light, and when the fire cleared they were in another place.
Goldie drops them outside ship. The scout and they hear of Tau’ri prisoners. They flame in, and after Areal gets of Ed so he can get off Ling, they make a run for it. short storm trooper. Grumble. Breakout … Ed’s about to clap up a door when Greeling interrupts to say it’s too noisy (chime), he’d do it. And pulls the cell door off hinges and out of the wall.
Shortly, while escaping, claps up wall to block pursuit.
“How did you do that?”
“Alchemy.”
“But that doesn’t exist.”
‘Does so.”
“Doesn’t.” Sam remained silent. Whatever it was, when he had done it she had felt the Naquada in her blood practically sing.
“Does.”
“Doesn’t.”
Daniel: “Alchemy? As in the precursor to chemistry, said to be able to create an artificial lifeform called a homunculus,"
"Hey, a fact!" said the homunculus.
"And with the goal of the philosopher’s stone, done by drawing mystic circles and symbols?"
"The stone’s a curse and alchemy isn’t mystic. You want mystic go to Xing. Alchemy is the science of understanding matter, deconstructing it then reconstructing it as something else. Turn left here."
“Straight.”
“Turn”. Straight.” Turn.” Straight.” “Look do you want out or not. Turn.”
“Look I’ve been doing this longer than you and I say we need to go straight kid.”
(Short rant here.)
Caught. Fight. Ed gives up to be taken where he wants. Ling is fetched back through the wall and they’re dragged before Gould. Ed and Jack snipe at each other all the way. Ed says he thought a colonel would be more mature, then again he doesn’t know why he thought that given his Colonel Bastard. Snake is Leto. Ed grumbles. Ling gets snaked. Ed demands sun. Greed shows not snaked.
Ling played along with being snaked and Ed hung his head but Jack saw the smirk. Then Ed yells Now!
On neutral world snake disposed of. Stargate mess.
They fall out of fire and Ed lands cursing. Goldie miscalculated. They wind up rescuing SG1 from Anubis. Jack says aren’t you short to be backup? And Ed growls. Two minutes later after another short joke Mt Edward blows. He goes on about bastards and colonels and are all colonels bastards? And when asked about who the other bastard colonel is he continues at great length, is asked family friend, answers “no, but at least I don’t have to do what he says anymore.”
“You… had to do what he said…. ?”
He demands that the goa’uld that’s trying to get him with shock awe and smitation prove it’s a god.
“Yeah so you can ionize the air with electrical shocks to make lightning. Anyone can do that. I was teaching my little brother how when I was five!” he twisted in the Jaffa’s grip and dodged the light, dropping to the floor in a crouch, then kicking the guards legs out from under them with the snap of bone breaking. “Geez, this armor is shitty,” he muttered. “Hell, the Colonel Bastard can do fire. And don’t think I didn’t notice the energy comes from the stone in your hand. But there’s no way you’re anything close to a god unless you can summon and contain a compressed chain of thermonuclear fusion reactions in your hand.”
“In other words,” the thing that had once been Ling said, folding his arms, “he won’t acknowledge you unless you can create a miniature sun in the palm of your hand, like Pops did.”
Wait, what?
“Yeah, and he wasn’t a god either.”
As the goauld hesitates in shock its clap fist time and Goldie makes the Stargate take them to an empty world. She powers the connection with three years off her current span and burns in a month. Ed makes Ling power return trip.
Ed keeps spitting till Sam or Daniel offers water to wash taste of the bitten goa’uld out of his mouth.
The talk about Ed being military comes up on neutral allied world when he compares colonels. Litany of grievances including “docked my pay, it was just a library fine,” says that he was military.
“How do we know he isn’t controlled?”
“Is that how you’d thank me for saving you?”
“We saw the snake go in, it could regain control at a moments notice-“
“No. It’s dead.”
“How do we know?”
“Eh, believe him. His body’s like that.”
SG-1 asks how Ling wasn’t taken over. “If we could duplicate what you did…”
“I’m a homunculus.”
“Speaking of which, what did you do with it?
“You don’t want to know right now.” Trades a look with Ed. Ed looks a bit sick. SG-1 doesn’t get the hint from Ed’s expression.
empty world : rock shelf, trees, river, squirrels and fish.
“But we have no idea about the wildlife…”
“Don’t worry, there’s nothing bigger than Hayate in 20 miles.”
“How do you know?”
“Ninja trick I learned from him.” Ed jerked a thumb at Ling. “You’re better than I am. Back me up here!”
Ling nodded. “Actually, there are a couple somewhat larger presences thirty miles away, but they’re below ground level along the line of the river - they got some large fish here!"
Jack raised a skeptical brow, but nodded, stretching back against the largest of the mossy rocks. “Aand what’s Hayate?”
“Hawkeye's dog. This big,” he pressed his hands together and transmuted a sculpture of Hayate, head held proud and high, “buries bones, slobbers, gets mud everywhere...”
Ling asked if anyone was hungry. Upon the response that they should eat, he just nodded. Ed wanted to know what he was plotting.
Ed goes hunting since they have a fire and brought back twenty squirrels and four large fish, since he and Ling eat a lot.
Sg1 offers food. Ed says not to feed Ling because, “he’ll eat everything you have, demand seconds, and follow you around begging for more,” and starts cooking his catch to wash the taste of snake out of his mouth. Ling politely asks if Sg1 have finished eating as Ed starts on a squirrel.
“Uh, yeah?”
Ling lit up. “Good. Then I can finally deal with this!” he chirped.
His hand turned black, and he reached up and behind his head. There was a sickening wet sound, and he grimaced. Another noise, this one a squishing one, and his hand disappeared from view. The sounds continued, and a horrible crackling joined the other two sounds. His arm shifted, as if he was feeling around for something, and then, as the sickening noises continued, he pulled something upwards.
At first, no one could tell what was happening, but then something stringy came into view dangling from his clawed hand. A disturbing sucking squelch followed, and he winced while the something continued to come into view. Thirty very long seconds later, what was clearly the body of a very dead Goa’uld dangled from his hand. With one final squish he yanked upwards and the tail came free, dripping his blood. Carter, who was unfortunate enough to be sitting next to him, gulped as she caught a gleam of white amidst the red glow and realized that was his spine.
“Ah, ‘ats better,” he sighed, cracking his neck as the last of the glow died. “Never had anything that I couldn’t just absorb or shove out before, and it’s not like it felt great or anything.”
With a disgusted noise, he threw the snake at Ed’s feet, and the bird swooped down from his shoulder and tore into it eagerly. Ed finished his squirrel and checked the clay on the fish while saying long-sufferingly, "Did you have to do that?"
"It wasn’t comfortable, having it in there."
“Um Ed… how can you keep eating after that?”
“I've met his siblings. ”
Ed examines the bust Gate and after marveling at the mechanical array, discovers the power source when Goldie tells him she fueled the escape with three years off her current life. He curses a lot and upon explaining that the thing was built to be powered by a Stone, and there are thousands of the things in the galaxy his friend gets why the cussing. Then he beats around the bush a bit before Ling realizes what Ed’s asking.
the stone is in the stargate to provide Equivalence for the passage. One soul per person transported. Greed and Ling not nearly as drained as they should be if the stone powered things. Not Power. Price. Greed ask Ed about this and Ed starts thinking.
Later Ling is so unconcerned about handing over his Dao that they worry, especially since they’ve seen the claws.
You just gave up?”
“I had to protect you. I didn’t know how long you’d been prisoners, what shape you were in, and how well you could handle yourselves.”
Sg-1 are discussing how to work the gate, are they going to have to use a lightning rod again chances of a storm soon don’t look that good, the stone is gone from the device, and what are they going to do with Ed and Ling? Ed and Ling volunteered to keep watch as they were the least injured, and try to think of a way to manage the Stargate.
Ed stares at the thing for a while, while talking with Ling, then shudders and claps up an array, the alchemy/alkahestry variety, explains about the missing philosopher’s stone, and that Ling will do.
“It’s. There is a way to get out of here, but…”
“It’s powered by a philosopher’s stone, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” His voice was low. “Powered isn’t quite it, but I can’t make it out now. All I know is it needs a Stone to work.”
“Can Areal get us out of here without having to use it?”
“Unlikely. As a rule she can carry six normal people, or the two of us, and she said earlier that her sacrifice of three years to get us all here means she can’t carry anyone until she’s burned. But… the thing only needs a stone interfaced with it. ”
“I’m not gonna like where this conversation is going, am I?” Ling moaned.
“No. I don’t like it either. But this thing needs a Stone to work, and it doesn’t have to be the Crystal variant, which seems to be all the builders knew about.”
“You’re beating around the bush, the way you did with Envy back then,” Ling said. “I guess I know what you need to do to make this work and get our new pals out of here.”
“Hey, wait a minute-”
“Do you want out of here or not?”
“Well, when you put it like that. As long as you promise I-”
“Shut it Ling.” Greed said. “You sure we’ll be fine afterword?”
“Relax, it’s not even half as hard as getting out of Gluttony. Besides, Envy survived fueling that.”
He clapped. There was whoosh, and the ring filled with light. “Hey, I’ve got it working!”
There were several surprised noises, and the team scrambled over.
“Holy Hannah. He really did get it working…” Jack said at the sight of the shining blue light.
“You didn’t mention that this would hurt like molten metal!”
“Shut up, it’s working. You lot send that code thing of yours, then lets go.”
Sam snapped out of her reverie, and dialed. The thing beeped, and she dove through. Daniel waited for a moment. “Go on,” Ed told him. “Ling, after I go the pull will stop and the thing will shut down. I set it to pull enough extra charge to stay a bit longer than it normally would, but move fast!”
Daniel suddenly noticed the glow where Ling’s palm rested on the DHD, then Ed glared at him and he too dove through the gate.
Goes to debriefing along with SG-1 because that’s his habit and the science discussion with Sam was too good to stop.
“Who is this, and what is he doing here?’
“Edward Elric. I’m here because I saved their asses. That’s Ling and Goldie’s around somewhere...”
Screech. Flame. “yeaow! Ok, Areal.
“Look bastard two— nah, you don’t deserve that name. Brat Bastard.”
tagalong briefing. Ed’s boots on table and bored wolf look while Ling lounges against wall watching his back. General wants to know if Ed intends harm ask in subtext.
Is told plainly that “I won’t put them in more danger than you already do to,” he shifted. “And I’m stalking them until Anubis finds them and then I can do what we’re here for and go home.”
“That means you’re bait. Get used to it.” Ling commented from the wall.
“Then you’re looking for Anubis?”
“Yeah, he pissed me off. We’re here to take him down.”
If anyone in the room had been drinking they would have executed a classic spit-take.
“You and what army,” Jack muttered under his breath. Ed heard it anyway.
“That army,” he said, jerking a thumb at Ling. “It’s why I brought him.”
Everybody stared at Ling. Ed didn’t see what all the fuss was about. They’d seen him fight.
“Sounded fun. I haven’t had a chance to cut loose in a while.”
“You don’t know what you’re dealing with.” General Hammond said.
“Wannabe god with a shit-ton of power and an army that’s pretty damn hard to kill? Been there done that, took him down. Since this guy isn’t anywhere near as bad as that Bearded Bastard, I’m not worried. Otherwise I’d a’ brought the others.”
“We’ll leave now so you can talk about us behind our backs. Later.”
HE offered to teach us.
General Hammond dropped his pencil.
"The DNA configurations have more available possibilities in Amestris, though its rare even there, because golden-eyed people’ve been all but exterminated. The pigment in my eyes is of a much more exotic combination than your own, or any other person here.
“Kid, be lucky we have room for the two of you. This is a military base, we can’t drop everything to find a cage for your pet bird.”
A loud screech echoed through the room, and the aforementioned bird spread her wings indignantly, head low, radiating fury.
Teal'c asks how many false gods Ed has dealt with. He starts counting and it comes to seven if the homunculi count. Leto doesn’t go by and when asked Ed remarks that he was small fry.
At some point, add to the info on Ling that he can survive having a building dropped on him. He was completely undamaged. “No he wasn’t. I saw the sparks before he shrugged off that huge block of stone.”
“Should have squished him flatter than a… Sorry, sir. He was completely undamaged. “
“No he wasn’t. Saw his hand hanging limp for a minute, then the sparks.”
The General? Colonel- (Hammond or O'Neil?) sighed. “Do I assume correctly that Mr. Elric?/Ed? Was behind the building collapsing?”
“Given that Ling came out of that complaining about can’t he watch who he’s dropping buildings on, that would be yes, sir.”
“Why?”
“Said something about human sacrifice, Ling flinched, and we decided not to ask. Besides they were arguing in multiple languages again.”
Humans always forced their will into things. That was the heart of Alchemy. That was why Homunculi normally couldn't do Alchemy. They willed, but they couldn't really change the world around them. Well that and the fact that if they tried to access the Gate there were consequences, but Greed didn’t like to think about that.
It might notice he was still alive.
Sam goes to Tok’ra asking “Dad, do you know of any race who can change the world with a clap of the hands. We found someone who can and swears its alchemy. Or anyone called a homunculus? His friend who says he’s one, heals faster than a host and isn’t one.”
“Are you sure he isn’t one?”
“Positive. Ed, —the alchemist— bit Leto in half in the middle of the fight when Leto tried to take him after his host died, and Ling, —he’s the homunculus— seemed to have been taken as a host for Leto’s consort and was acting like it until Ed yelled ‘now’. He seemed to be not taken, which was impossible since we saw Leto’s consort go in, but he was fighting with the rest of us. Then when we got away we found out that the symbiont was dead.” She paused.
“Dead?”
She nodded once, sharply. “When we were safe, we wanted to know if we could trust him. We’ve been fooled before, with Sha’re— but all he said was that he probably should get it out, it wasn’t really comfortable having it there, and Dad, he dug his hand in and pulled the dead symbiont out of his body!”
“He what?”
“He dug his hand into the back of his neck and dragged the body out of his. Things snapped and cracked, and I could see his spine, and it closed the moment he was done digging.”
Jacob looked slightly green.
Medical incident only in flashbacks. Janet turns on Ling. He says no. Jack says but he was snaked, Sam says the poison seems to have delayed, Ling reminds them that he is snake free. They saw what he did with it. Everyone turns green. (running gag, that comes up, people turn green)
Ninja vanish. Next morning Siler finds them ten feet away from the cafeteria door. Ed poking the collapsed Ling and arguing about whether he can get up. In English, four Xingese dialects, Drachman, Cretan, Arugan, and insults and retorts in old Xerxesian. (Greed knows enough of it to taunt.)
They fight over food and much staring at the way Ling eats.
Ed drags him into the cafeteria, face down, grumbling about how a person should not be this heavy.
Janet must be told that Ed knows his limits, and arguing with him about medical stuff when he doesn’t need it is as pointless as repeatedly banging ones head against a brick wall. All it does is hurt. Ed throws in that Ling’s one to talk, given the dents he leaves when he does that. Ling remarked, “Right, as pointless for anyone other than me to bang themselves into a brick wall.” SG-1, remembering how he was thrown through sandstone and just got right back up, get the point.
Was the stupid thing you did when you were ten joining the military?
“Nah, did that when I was twelve. Only got to take the test because Al, Hughes and I stopped the terrorists attacking because the general was on the train. Coffee. Mine.” He snatched it. “Way better than that slop they made at Briggs.”
“So is he always this rude, your friend?” Jack asked Ling.
“I have wondered if he is usually quite so disrespectful.”
Ling paused. “Rude isn’t really the right word. But that’s always the way it is with him. There are no words in Amestrian, Creatan, any version of Xingese, or Old Xerxesian to describe him properly. But yes, he is. He calls the ruler of his country a bastard—”
“That’s not all that unusual.”
“No? So you often have shouting matches with your ruler, in person or over the phone, come to his office, kick his door down, argue over anything from the condition of the desert city you rebuilt to who’s a better alchemist, call him a bastard to his face and walk away unsinged?” in the shocked silence, Ling continued, “He calls the Emperor of Xing an idiot, again to his face, fights with him whenever he’s in Xing, demands the Emperor stop mooching food off him, which he hasn’t, invited both the emperor and the at the time general to help deal with a kidnapping attempt on his youngest brother, will order both of them around without thinking twice, only puts the door back if he can decorate it in what some people call Early Gargoyle, and disregards any authority except that of his little brother and teacher.”
His tone changed from contemplative to that of one remembering something, and his violet and diamond eyes opened. “We can see why. She’s terrifying! Has the leader of the crime in her hometown terrified of her, is completely nuts, and can throw grizzly bears over her shoulder. She also stranded the two of them on a deserted island for a month with only a knife as their entrance exam to her teaching. He was eight. Al seven. ”
“Where were their parents?”
“What parents?”
It was metal: smooth and hard and silvery, shining in the harsh light of the lamp, laid bare from Ed's shoulder all the way down to his glove. And even as Siler watched, Ed peeled the glove off too, revealing five intricately jointed fingers made of steel.
Something about the sleek lines of the limb made it clear that the metal was not just a covering. The entire arm was steel, a fantastic mechanized creation taking the place of flesh and bone... and it worked. It worked with all the graceful complexity of real muscles and nerves.
And it was...
It was absolutely the most beautiful thing Siler had ever seen.
Everyone stared at the large sign on the cafeteria door.
“Anyone who wants alchemy lessons, meet in the cafeteria after lunch and I’ll see if you got what it takes.” It read.
"Alchemy is a science of understanding, deconstructing and reconstructing matter. Its main principle is 'Equivalent Exchange'. Humankind can't gain anything without giving something in return. To obtain, something of equal value must be lost. This is the first and most important law of alchemy. You got it?"
Puzzled looks greeted him. He sighed. “There is one law of alchemy, and every other rule is an extension of that one.” Golden eyes were serious. “Equivalent Exchange. In order to obtain something, something of equal value must be lost. And no, I don’t mean money. If I wanted to make a bronze statue, and didn’t have any bronze, I could make it by using copper and tin instead. That is equivalent exchange. I lost the copper and the tin to make the bronze.”
Comprehension bloomed.
“Now, before I go any farther, I have a test for you all to see if you’re worth teaching. Since I don’t have a deserted island to drop you on for a month with only a knife as your test and introductory training, I thought of another way.” So that was when he’d learned to hunt like that, Ling thought. “When alchemy was originally invented, another law, one that is almost as central as Equivalent Exchange, was discovered. They believed that ‘all things are made from one, and in the end, all things return to one. In other words, one is all and all is one as well. All is ultimately of the one, so if all is not included in the one, then all is nothing. ”
He paused. “And they had it mostly wrong. All is one. One is all. They had the wrong answer. Figure out the right one and I’ll teach you to do this.”
He picked up the chalk.
Against the wall, Ling snorted. “Alchemists,” Greed muttered in a tone at once fond, disparaging, and exasperated.
The Other Colonel looked at him, “So are there more like him?” he nodded to Ed, who was drawing a circle with inhuman speed.
There was a long pause, before Ling wrestled control of his voice back from Greed and answered, “Well yes and no. Even for alchemists, he’s odd. Most of them tend to know the meaning of tact, for one. Still, he’s better than Armstrong.”
“Oh? What’s he like?”
Outwardly there was a long silence. Internally Ling and Greed debated how to describe the man who they’d met briefly during the Day of Reckoning, and again during the thing with the Outsiders. “He can’t keep his shirt on.”
“He can’t keep his shirt on?”
A nod. “He can’t keep his shirt on, and loves to flex his ‘magnificent muscles,’ as an example of something or other. Also, he’ll usually say something about ‘PASSED DOWN THE ARMSTRONG LINE FOR GENERATIONS!’ He’s kind, and he’ll burst into tears at a moments notice. Very emotional. And…” here Ling’s expression grew haunted. “He sparkles.”
“Sparkles.”
“Yes. Sparkles. They’re pink and float around his head.”
"Focus. Remember the three steps, Analysis, Deconstruction, and Reconstruction. If you become distracted, there could be a rebound."
"Rebound, right.”
“But it's not common, right? You said that there shouldn't be any rebounds in small transmutations like this."
“True, there shouldn't be any harmful ones, but just because it won't chop off your limb doesn't mean you shouldn't be extra careful. Also, when you're inexperienced, you must always take all possible risks into account. There's nothing more dangerous for an alchemist than underestimating the power of his own reaction."
"Rebounds can chop limbs off?" the crowd chorused in shock and one or two mechanics in sudden understanding.
Ed frowned. "It's rarely the case, but like I said, you must take all possible risks into account. And I mean all of them." He lifted his hand in what seemed like an unconscious movement and rubbed his right shoulder. "I wouldn't let you do anything dangerous like that at first, but trust me… in alchemy, plenty of unpredictable things can happen, in the last moment you expect them to." He looked very serious. "That's why you never, under any circumstance, perform a transmutation unless you thought everything through and you're confident you know the limits of your array. Is that clear!"
"Yes sir!" They all responded at once.
So after the talk about Ed and the ruler of his country O'neill asks "are they related?"
Lings answer was very quiet "Be glad you asked me that and not Ed. No, they aren't."
"Why would an Emperor mooch food? Is Xing a small country?"
Ling’s eyes flew open "Small?” he laughed. “It’s the largest country on the continent."
“Where was his father when he joined the military at twelve?”
Ling winced, “That is why Ed hates his father.”
“Not there? What kind of man is he?”
“The kind who comes back after ten years of absence, when he didn't even deign to come back for his wife’s funeral, and asks, while standing in front of his wife’s grave, ‘What possessed you to burn down my home?’ Then the next time they met he whined about Ed hitting him in the jaw. And he did have things he needed to do... but Edward is the kind to hold a grudge.”
central command was built out of a mountain.
He had more emotional baggage than a luxury cruise for recovering alcoholics, enough eccentricities and neuroses to send lesser men straight into a white padded cell. For a long time, the only thing that kept him getting up in the morning was sheer force of habit. By civilian standards, he would be considered an unstable basket case. By ex-Black Ops standards, he was only a little below the curve.
Looking after the alchemist Jack sighed. “Someday his refusal to kill is going to get him killed. He’s too reckless. He doesn’t get that his life is at stake.”
“Colonel, you know he’s just a kid. He’ll learn someday, but we don’t have to force him.”
“He just doesn’t seem to get how serous the whole thing is!”
“You really don’t understand him.” Ling said quietly. “He does know how serious your war is. But, compared to our war, the Goa’uld are nothing.”
“How can you say that? They’re parasites that want to rule the galaxy and enslave us all!”
Ling sounded sad. “But humanity would still be alive. Violated, beaten down until you could get your hands on enough of their own weapons to take them down for good, and probably yourselves with them. But it would be on your own terms, and in death there would be freedom.” He seemed to be looking into memory. “If your Goa’uld tried to rule our enemies, they would die, and their forces would die, and their race would die, and the Seven would remain, unbent. Not even slowed down.”
Sam almost blurted, “You have that kind of tech?” but caught herself. His tone held them still, silent.
“If the Goa’uld win they have to keep their supply of slaves alive.” He continued, with a tone of grave understanding. “We fought monsters that devour life, devour energy, and would have reduced all life on our world to a husk, then died in turn when their stolen souls were used up, leaving nothing but a shell of a collapsing universe behind. And they would not die. Your ‘Goa’uld’ die when they are killed. Homunculi do not. Take off their heads, stab them in the heart, dismember them, burn them and scatter the ashes, but still a homunculus would live on, regenerate from utter ash. The nation of Xerxes was reduced to sand, the once fertile ground still poisoned, scarred, centuries later, from the theft of life. There were forests, grassland and mountains once. Centuries later, only sand remains. I’ve crossed that dessert. I felt the barren void that remained. And that was the work of a single one.” His face was grim. “But we won. Compared to that, your war is small.”
“No he won’t.” Ling said quietly. “It nearly got him killed once, but he stays to his rules. He will not kill, and he won’t die.”
“How do you know? Everyone’s luck runs out eventually.” Sam said.
“Not his. It didn’t run out when he lost two limbs when he was ten, or when he fell of a train at twelve, and when he fought a serial killer at thirteen. He’s still alive after having a building explode next to him, chimera set on him, almost getting heatstroke in the Xerxesian desert, fighting someone who could blow things up by touching them, twice, being abandoned on a deserted island with only a knife for a month with a little brother to look after, and whatever else their Teacher did during training. He’s survived Gluttony on a rampage, fighting Envy in its true shape, what my little sister did when she found out he wasn’t her daydreamed beloved(she’s really good with those knives), nearly froze to death up north, was almost killed by the military command up there before they decided he wasn’t a spy, survived Sloth, survived more chimera, and didn’t let himself die when Kimblee dropped a mineshaft on him even though the chimera tell me he was impaled by one of the support beams. People have survived that kind of thing before, but not in the middle of nowhere, with a wound that big. Pride and Gluttony in the forest, and of course the day of reckoning. That’s when there was the Immortal Legion, Envy again, Pride again, and Pops with his miniature sun.”
“Hey, can I borrow this? Thanks.”
As the alchemist turned away the original owner of the tools sputttered, “What do you need then for?”
“Your astravia’s about to blow up in a few months. I know how to fix it, but I need to transmute the tools from something closer.” He lifted a hand as he left.
…
…
…
“... what’s an astravia?”
“its familiar… Astra… astravia… that’s what he calls the Stargate!”
“Why don’t you just use alchemy?”
“Using alchemy on an array is usually a bad idea. It can cause some nasty rebounds.” Ed sounded distracted.
When fixing gate alchemy symbols on inner side of ring for a proper array, destination and material.
“Don’t scratch the symbols Greeling!”
“Right, need some copper wire. Ling, star wrench.” The tool Ling passed over barely looked like a wrench. Ed ran the tip of it over an invisible seam, which became visible as the odd hooked tip fit into very slight groves. He inspected some strange glyphs that no one there had ever seen before. Except him, of course. He looked very satisfied. “I knew it. They had to be here somewhere,” he paused, peering at one. “Hmm don’t recognize... oh naqudah. I said claws off the array!”
Ling snatched his hand away. Ed hadn’t even been looking his direction, the watchers marveled.
“Why did you know it was going to blow up?”
“I looked at it. This connection was frayed, and the energy was spilling over, so when you activated it charge jumped to here, and the resonance went higher each time as it came closer to overloading the metal, which would be bad because it is already deforming the array, so when it went you wouldn’t have much mountain left. Someone get me some carbon. A wooden chair will do fine.” He paused, “Greeling, get over here. This line sealed over. Carve it back in.”
He does then Ling resumes control while Greed sulks over the shield being used as an engraving tool.
General is in meeting when Ed takes Astravia apart. An aide comes running in, “Sir!”
“What now?”
“It’s Elric, sir.”
The general blanched slightly. “What’s he done this time?”
“He’s found tools… dismantling… all over…”
“He what? How?”
“We don’t know sir.”
“Well get him out of there.”
“We’ve tried.” The aide’s voice held the particular tone that only came from dealing with Edward Elric in a mood to be difficult.
“Tell me Colonel O’Neil isn’t involved.”
“He isn’t sir.”
“Good. Get Major Carter in there to discuss Science with him.”
“Right away sir.”
Two minutes later the aide came back.
“He’s still at it sir. Major Carter isn’t helping, she’s just studying his work.”
Ed’s notes are written in Xerxesian which bears a resemblance to Sumerian and to the Alterans language. Anubis coded his computers in that language as a cipher. Can I do something with that?
“SG-1 is the primary gate team, kind of the example of everything we are, and the best of us.”
“I’m sorry.”
“What?”
“Aside from the fact that them being the best means that you aren’t, I’m sorry for them. If they are the best, then there’s a price for that. There’s a price for everything, by the Law of Equivalent Exchange. SG-1 will handle it, you say, and SG-1 could deal with this. The price for being the best is to be the best. To always be the one everyone looks up to. To be the ones who will always come back. They are the ones who can do anything, and the price is that they will do anything. To know that someday, when they fail, as they know they will, it isn’t just their lives that will be lost, but everything they stand for. They must be very lonely.” He scraped his chair back abruptly, and left.
“And he knows this how?”
“He’s the best alchemist in history. The youngest state alchemist. The hero of the people. He can do anything he wants because no one in the government would dare tell him no, because the Alchemists People will support him. If he wanted to rule Amestris, he could. All he’d need to do is say so. He knows.”
When taking stargate apart he want’s to know why they’re using the third generation knockoff that a snake bastard brought to the planet instead of the primary, better built, main Astravia at the south pole. Yeah, a first generation Astravia isn’t as durable but their primary one’s a second generation one so it should be fine.
While he fixes it Greed leans against the wall, occasionally helping, and generally watching.
After asking how he knows about it, and getting the I did something stupid when I was ten, he continues that he doesn’t know exactly where it is but if they leave the planet once he fixes this, make sure this one is busy, and dial earth again they’ll be rerouted to the other gate.
He doesn’t do the MRI
They want to know what the tech is for alchemy. He either replies that he can clap because he was stupid when he was ten, or that its because he can hold the molecular structure of the things he’s working with and what he wants it to be in his head and most people can’t.
“So that’s the astravia.”(star-road). He studied it. “hmph. It looks like a puddle. Not a gate.”
Goa’uld repeatedly try to infest them.
Ling, however, they keep trying for. Greed eats them. Usually they manage to crawl out and die, but sometimes they don’t. When they die in him a clawed hand digs into the back of the neck and as he makes a face he drags the dead body out of his skull and off his spine. Then he throws the body away, making a disgusted sound.
SG1 want to know what race they are.
Their Earth is not the same Earth as Stargate’s Earth. Stargates Earth had a city name Atlantis that was actually a spaceship belonging to the Alterians. Earth of Fullmetal is the Homeworld of the Alterians. Ling mentions after SG1 ask how he heals like “that’ the Homunculi heal like that, stating that he is Homunculus.
Are homunculi a common race then?
“No” Greed answered, and it was Greed now, “there were only ever eight of us. I’m the last, and the only smart one.
Neither one is impressed by the Stargate, at least not overawed at first sight.
The stargate is an automatic circle for human transmutation, Deconstruction and reconstruction at the desired array like Alkahestry. Ed curses and wants to know how the Alterians automated a human transmutation circle, what’s the price for using it, and why it doesn’t summon Truth.
When stargazing Ed starts pointing out stars and naming them in a liquid language, saying dreamily “I’ve been there”, and the names sound like birdsong, or liquid gold, if metal had a sound.
“How do you understand her?”
“I did something—”
“—Stupid when he was ten, was all he said. I am so sick of hearing that. He brings the conversation to a dead end at that, and there’s no way he could have done something that could let him know and do all this!”
“Actually,” Ling said, dropping from the celling, “he really did. What he did when he was ten set a lot of things in motion, but to him it all stems back to what he and Al did.”
“So you know then? What did he do?”
“Of course I know. But I’m not telling.” He strolled out of the room, remarking, “and you might want to get him back here to fix your floor again.”
He looked peaceful, a far cry from the unyielding scowl he always wore while awake.
”Your bird set fire to Jack’s office, you're just sitting there, and nobody knows where Ling is! Why shouldn’t I be tense?"
Golden eyes were utterly unsympathetic. "No one ever knows where Ling is. He's ninja. Get used to it."
“Why do you follow him? He’s such a…”
“Immature brat?”
“I was trying to find something more polite….”
“Don’t bother; he’s been acting like that since we got here. I stick with him because he’s himself. Because he laughed when he met me. Because he doesn’t care. And I don’t follow anyone. If I did, I’d say I follow him…” His voice went soft with memory, and a low note of awe. “…Because the whole world condenses into him whenever he fights, and all of time as well on the Day of Reckoning. Taking on Pops like that with the Decider and all the power in the world moving when he did in that battle, all that had ever been or would be was focused in him.” He seemed to shake himself, narrow violet eyes closing once again, tone forcibly light as he continued, “Even the Briggs guys wouldn’t interfere. That bastard had had that coming for five hundred years, it shouldn’t matter who got the last hit, but we all knew no one else could kick his ass that well. And this is actually somewhat well behaved.”
“You’re joking!”
“We’ve seen worse. If he really didn’t like you, you’d know it when he took over the base. And half the imperial court of Xing knows it too.”
“…”
“B-But that’s impossible!”
Ling snickered. “I’ve heard there’s a saying in the Amestrian military. Never tell an Elric that something is impossible, they’ll take it’s as a challenge. And I have an addition to it: and then they’ll prove you wrong because nothing is impossible.”
“So what all can he do?”
"Anything he puts his mind to," Ling said brightly.
"More detail?"
The homunculus considered. "Once there were eight homunculi, each with a particular power. Now I am the last. The Colonel killed two of us, Armstrong and Ed’s teacher one, several others as a team brought down more. And none of them are as skilled as he is. He brought down the eldest and strongest of us. He is feared and loved. The others didn’t have the sense to know what they were dealing with. I did.”
Roy was banned from testing the aerodynamic capabilities of various ranks letter paper. He started making origami cranes instead, declaring the office a paper crane wildlife refuge. In response, Ed began origami horses and declared no horse over five inches was allowed in. This means you Mustang.
“He said he was testing the aerodynamic quality of paper depending on rank, but he was just bored.”
“Testing the aerodynamic quality of paper?”
"Folding it, like this, and throwing."
"Making paper airplanes?"
"You have a name for it? So anyway Hawkeye makes him stop and that Bastard starts making origami cranes instead. But there’s no way in the Gate that I’m gonna let him get away with claiming his office was a paper crane refuge and all shrimp will be fed to the birds. Hawkeye made us stop, but Armstrong won."
"We heard about the Great Origami Contest all the way in Xing. Was the building really flooded with paper?"
Ed glowered defensively. “Only three rooms; and how the hell did you hear about it anyway?"
Ling seemed to slouch. "Okay one, your friends wrote, asking if Al or me had any way to make you two stop. Two, not that I'd know, but the Emperor gets bored. News on you has him grinning for days."
"Um, what do you mean, Armstrong won? Wasn’t this contest between you and this Mustang?"
"When Hawkeye made it stop, Armstrong had more butterflies than I had horses or the Colonel had cranes. Apparently 'the art of Origami has been Passed down the Armstrong Line for Generations' but — what hasn’t?”
“Is all his style like that?”
“Why d’you think we call it Early Gargoyle? Even Xerxes has gargoyles all over the place, and the Emperor’s audience chamber in Xing is just as dramatic.”
“You mean he built the imperial palace? Pull the other one.” Jack snorted.
Ling leaned back and put his hands behind his head. “He didn’t. Fool of an Emperor just asked him for ideas on decorating once he was done remodeling.”
“Does your emperor have no taste?”
A flash of a grin. “But the reactions to it are such fun.”
“…hey, what was the emperor doing asking him for ideas anyway? he in the area or something?”
“Nah, they write each-other.”
…The emperor and Edward Elric are penpals.
"How old is the Emperor of Xing?"
"Ninteen. Why?"
Another mark on the list of questions about Ling.
Ling breaks a Zat, and regenerates big time.
The left side of his body was normal, if a dull, uniform grey, but the right was a charred, mangled mass of bone and charred flesh. Even as they watched, he sat up, and the damage began to roil. The bones erupted, flesh forming on them in strips, tendons and other ligaments and muscles building themselves back together in dancing crimson sparks, skin coming last up his chest and covering the half exposed collarbone, leaving the final and eeriest section of his body for last.
His arm.
At last they watched in disgusted fascination as his bones regrew from the shoulder which was already beginning to sprout fresh bone, starting with the marrow. The cartilage and ligaments between his bones restored themselves at the same time. Following that, the blood vessels bloomed into existence all at once, including the tiny vessels that fed into the skin, creating a weird sort of haze in the shape of his arms. Next were the muscles and tendons which spawned around the blood vessels and bones in fibrous deep red lines. Finally, there was very thin layer of fat which sheathed the muscles, then his skin, and then his fingernails, which grew in last of all and looked more like black claws. As the black rushed up for a moment, then back down again, the claws vanished with it, making it clear that those had indeed been claws, and answering along held question.
Yes, he really had claws.
"It’s like he thinks the world revolves around him."
Ling shook his head. "Thing is, he doesn’t think that. He’d never think that. He thinks he’s just a simple, insignificant human. But the world does bend for all four of them."
“There are more like him?” Siler seemed a bit scared by the concept.
“Not like that. I mean the others who can do alchemy without a transmutation circle. They paid for the world to bend.
Ed demands a block of steel and some bronze and when told they dont have bronze demands copper wire instead. three spools of it, and tin, yes they have some, he’s seen them melting it. phoenix statue
Ed has something to say about the Alterans non-interference. Namely that they might not interfere directly but there’s a hell of a lot of ways they could indirectly if they wanted to. After all Truth isn’t able to move directly either, but it sure as hell works indirectly
“Ling fights like a flea on a sugar high.” Jack grumbled.
“Look at the size of these pillars. It’s strange, built for beauty, it shouldn’t last like this, and those arched structures over there,” Daniel emphasized.
“It’s familiar,” Ed murmured, uneasy, “not like I’ve seen anything like it, but somehow…”
“You too?” Greed asked. “Ling doesn’t like it. Familiar but not or something like that. Pain in the ass.”
“Yeah. I know this place. Not the way I knew Xerxes tough. Just, something.”
“It’s utterly dead,” Ling threw in, “No life anywhere. Not even any animals. The dragon lines are scarred somehow, the way Xerxes used to be. But I know it too. It feels like a thought on the edge of my mind, something I know, but it’s too… crowded somehow to reach.”
That was the way it felt for him too. At the edge of thought, huh… “The True Knowledge! It’s from the True Knowledge!”
Ed scowled. "Idiot prince"
"Loudmouth," Ling shot back.
"Arrogant Xingese!"
“Short tempered alchemist"
"Mooching bill ditcher!
"Stubborn scientist!
"Glutinous homunculus!"
"Short little runt!"
“Insufferable matchmaker!
"Al and Mei don’t mind. Is it so bad to want you all near?"
"You're just plain greedy!" Ed seemed to realize what he'd said and winced slightly. Ling just looked smug. "And you fed a boot to the Emperor. I win!" (whoever runs out of anyhitng that isn't greed or the Boot incident first, loses.)
in the cafeteria ed lights up. just let that bastard try to be smug now.
Ling asks "figure something-
"Yeah. That Bastard Colonel’s title is mine!"
“Then you’ve—”
Smirk.
"Isn’t it-"
"Well it took this long."
They refuse to be enlightening. A few days later a fire is needed and the wood is wet. Ed takes over and says back up. Ling backs up several feet. SG1 follow suit. He claps the water into oxygen and lights it with the spark of alchemy.
When back in Amestris mustang hears the commotion of Ed approaching, mentally grumbles about the dents in the wall, and then theirs a familiar sound of displaced air and the door burns down, leaving a very smug Fullmetal on the other side.
“That was flame alchemy!”
“I needed to light a campfire in the rain.”
He reinvented flame alchemy -something that took master Hawkeye a lifetime to create- because he needed a fire. And he did it in the rain. He can do it in the rain. He can do it in the rain when the flame alchemist can’t.
Not from slave world. No gods. Ed worships science, as Ling will comment. Science and Al. Insult science he’ll debate it with you and hit you over the head with it. Insult Al, and you wonder about the pretty lights and the dancing goblins. (Who is Al? His little brother.) And they aren’t from the goa’uld slave populations because they reference the deadly seven, and they weren’t taken after that by renegade Asaguurd because they don’t react to names like Loki.
Tok’ra come to the base at some point, when Ed is annotating Sam’s books, and scribbling out Pi to a thousand places, first in three rows, then a circle, then replacing numbers with sigils, then “Aha, I thought so.” Freya and Anise don’t like him. He says that he’s researching and you’d think someone who just figured out a sustainable alternative to the Stone would be given a little more respect.
"You guys give a new definition to ‘arrogance.” And I know from arrogance, my brother was Pride. "
Ed threw Freya with the Sloth throw when she grabs him to interrupt him. Jack approves.
Greed comments on their outfit, “I’ll tell you the same thing I told Envy. Please, get a new outfit.”
(Ascended Ancients = distant relatives? Bad news all round. What season is this again anyway? Where does Oma show up and be sleazy the first time? Who's bad news should this be? )
Temple of Oma Desala, totally not scum at all despite her acting...
When Daniel is being fooled Ed and Ling have a bad feeling. Ling feel something around the temple. A large presence, not large like a homunculus, but stretched and bloated, like a leech sucking power from the dragon lines. Ed can feel it too once he tries. Ed hits the monk, who becomes light and is shown to be Oma.
Oma tries to get away after repeatedly blanching but Ling is in the middle of her psychic mass and she’s pinned. (Greed is basically standing on her foot) She calls him an abomination, and Ed calls her Equivalence dodger, coward, at least the dammed homunculi didn’t hide behind false kindness, even though Envy tricked us and Gr- Pride did something, and a Gate-damned liar. When she finally recognizes his alchemy and looks: "Alchemy! Then you are- but your kind are dead."
"Guess again, Earth Mother," scorn dripped from the words.
"We killed you all!"
"You missed."
Ling narrowed his eyes. "Run away, Mother Nature," he said. "Run and tell the others the last king of Xerxes has come home."
The ascended faded.
“She gone?” Ed asked.
Ling nodded.
“Good,” he said. Then he punched Ling. Hard.
“Gah, ow, what was that for?” Ling yelped, stumbling back a step.
“For calling me a king when I’m not!”
“It worried her.”
At some point, “That was a good explosion there, haven’t seen you like that since the first time we met.”
Ed looked puzzled for a moment, then his expression cleared. “At the Devil’s Nest?”
“Yep, that’s the time.”
They stepped through the portal, and Ed collapsed when he hit the ground.
“Ed!”
“What’s wrong?”
“Are you all right?”
Ed groaned. “Pressure changes. Damn Oma, meddling with the weather.” He curled in in himself. The phoenix hooked her claws into his shirt, chirped at Ling once, and then she and Ed were gone in fire.
“What the hell is wrong with him!?”
Ling frowned. He’d seen this happen to LanFan a few times, not nearly as intensely, but the fact that Ed was showing the pain was worrisome. Ed didn’t show pain. Ever. Greed was concerned as well, worried for his ‘most precious possession.’
“At a guess? The air pressure. Rapid pressure changes and Automail don’t get along, and the thunderstorm came, the thunderstorm went, and then the weather system recoiled and it would have kept causing problems, until we came through the portal, and the abrupt change there won’t be helping either. Still, it’s stable now.”
SG-1 looked at Ling. “Do you know why he reacted so badly to the whole ‘higher being’ thing?”
“I have pretty good guess,” he responded. “But it’ll take a while to tell.”
A bit later…
“So, spill. Why did he react that way?”
Ling sighed. “Four centuries ago, it began with the fall of Xerxes. The Homunculus War.” The way he spoke the words sent a chill down their spines. Or perhaps it was his eyes, open and serious, the inhuman violet and diamond piercing their souls. “The first homunculus, who was alternately called Father, Bearded Bastard—”
“I can guess who came up with that one,” Jack muttered.
“—and Dwarf in the Flask; had created the others to arrange massacres at the points on the transmutation circle, because blood was needed. If the plan succeeded he would have the powers of a god, and the entire population of the country would be dead. Then Ed found out.”
“So, what happened?”
“He started a chain of events that led to the first ever true death of a homunculus at the hands of his Colonel Bastard, and the homunculi uncomfortably aware that they could, —under the right circumstances and no I am not telling you what they are— die. Then Ed and our other friends got together the ones who would oppose the homunculi, and on what the homunculi called the Promised Day, the country calls Eclipse Day, and we who fought them call the Day Of Reckoning, the war ended. No one thought we could actually win, even with Lust out of the picture, there was still Gluttony, Envy, Sloth, and Wrath active, and Pride in the shadows.”
Daniel interrupted. “You listed six, what about the first one? You said that he created the others.”
“He was worse. The only homunculus who could do alchemy that wasn’t limited to our own bodies. But Envy was diminished, Pride contained, for a while, Wrath elsewhere, Gluttony first directionless and then gone, so it seemed like we had the chance to not win, but delay.”
“Well that sounds useless.”
“No. I said Eclipse Day, and there’s a reason for that, besides there simply being an eclipse. The transmutation required a double circle. One underground, an enormous tunnel with the killing grounds arrayed at ten points on the edge, and the other the shadow of the moon. If there was enough delay, the eclipse would pass, and with the father of the homunculi having missed out on his godlike powers, we hoped he could be killed.”
“So you delayed and killed him?”
“We failed horribly.”
In the shocked silence following that remark he continued, “The Armstrong Siblings and Ed’s Teacher killed Sloth, who was too lazy to bother with the effort of thinking of a way to survive. Envy came back and assimilated enough of the Immortal Legion —who were powered by the same energy that is at the heart of a homunculus— to regain its strength. But the Colonel was the worst opponent Envy could have, and after being diminished again, Ed talked to it until it died, and removed its eyesore of an outfit from the world. I fought Wrath, and left him unable to see the possibilities he depended on, and between that and the damage Captain Buccaneer did, he could be killed.”
Ling’s tone went from solemn to derisive. “He always was the weakest of us. Made up for it, but he still lost, and the main gate held. I did that. Then we fought the first homunculus, and Pride returned. Their plan succeeded. But a guy called Scar killed Wrath, and had a plan to undo half of what had been done. Alone it wouldn’t have been enough, but Ed’s father actually did something useful and undid the other half. Still, he had godlike powers, and Pride was falling apart but still alive. Ed’s never explained what he did to Pride, but before he came to the main battle Pride was out of the picture for good. And we won. It was hard, but we won. Al was seriously hurt. Ed went berserk, beat him down, but he tricked us, tried to—” here he shuddered. “Anyway, Ed saved my life, and landed the last hit. The father of the homunculi’s plan was undone, and so was he.”
“What do you mean when you say godlike powers?”
“Well,” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. Something itched. “There was a miniature sun, -he did that- contained the energy and everything, the gravity well, Hohenheim blocked that, a flood of power that would've killed all them if not for my sister, he survived being drenched in molten metal, which’d kill even me,” Greed shuddered inwardly, remembering it, “he rode the molten metal to the surface, he disintegrated anything that we threw at him and what he couldn’t disintegrate he did keep off. If Briggs hadn’t been there we’d ‘a lost. But he couldn’t attack and defend, and between them and the alchemists, we kept him on the defense. When I hit him, he had to start dodging, and then there was the Flame Colonel…”
“That the bastard?”
“Eh, one of them. The one who’s still a colonel to Ed, even though he took over the country. He burned things.” The memory of that dragon-blast of fire lunging toward the father of the homunculi, the smirk and snap, the nasty look on the Bastards face— dammit Ed! “The air burned that day. But he still didn’t die. Ed, Armstrong, LanFan, Gorius, Mustang, Ed’s teacher who’s scared at least one homunculus into submission,” us, they thought simultaneously, “Briggs, the pig guy, everyone! And he survived it. He wore down more and more, but he didn’t die.”
“So what got him in the end?”
Greed smirked. “Ed. I gave him an opening and Ed used Scar’s trick. Faster than any other alchemy. And then the hands.”
Here there was an instinctive shudder. Ling had been to the Gate. Greed knew where he came from originally, and Ling’s memory of the Gate made the fear stronger. They remembered also, Ed’s words; as he stared at the screaming creature being dragged in on itself by the hands. ‘Go back to where you were born. Go back, to nothing, Homunculus.’ In that moment, he had been different, the power that shone in him stronger than ever, bright and resolute, like… like a god giving judgement. And given his status as Truth’s agent/hand/servant/alchemist/whatever, that might not have been far wrong.
Especially since, another shudder, during the thing with the outsiders, Truth had taken him over. And Ed had said later, in private, when threatened with Ling stalking him until he told, that he’d let Truth do that because ‘I know what it feels like to really, really want to yell at someone. But I kicked it out before it got tempted to break its own rules. I’m a bad influence.’
“What the hell was that about?”
“A very long time ago, there were the Alterans, and the Xerxesians. The Alterans decided they were too good to die, and ascended,” scorn dripped again, “moving to a higher plane of existence. They believed that the universe was to be studied, and that scientific experimentation was essential to gaining understanding. Rotten gold-toothed bastards, extinction served them right for human experimentation in the cause of immortality. They were idiots. Also, they had something of a civil war, although can you really call it a war when all one side does is run? Anyway, they eventually decided the only path to enlightenment was to ascend to the higher plane. That’s where they went wrong. Ya see, they believe, or say they do, in free will.”
“How is this a bad thing?”
“I’m getting there. Shut up.” Ed glowered. “Anyway, they believed in free will, which meant that everyone should make their own decisions, without even being given advice, or help from others. Helping wasn’t their place. But there was a faction that didn’t think so. Xerxes believed in helping others, and the rest of his branch did too, so when the others declared that they were all to ascend, their work done, they said hell no. The others didn’t like that. And the others outnumbered Xerxes’ faction. They decided that there would be no more interference from any of their people in this galaxy. No exceptions. And if the Xerxesains weren’t going to ascend, which they had more sense than to do, there was only one way to keep them from interfering, or destroying all the ascended, since they were becoming energy, and alchemy draws on energy...”
“And that was?” Jack prompted, feeling his stomach sink.
“To kill them all. We were a minority, and despite the fact that alchemy, which only the Xerxesian had, was the greatest threat to them, they found a way. Alchemy requires energy. They were trying to become energy. If they had come for the people of Xerxes while ascended, they would have lost. But they had one more trick. The final stage.”
“The final stage?”
His eyes were calm, but lit, as he answered. “Yeah. They had a fraction of the power they’d have, and weren’t pure energy so alchemy could hurt them, but not the way just using it would hurt an ascended. We delayed them as much as we could, and ran for the mirror. When we were almost there, they caught us. Xerxes stayed behind, delaying them while we calibrated the mirror, and escaped. They lost a lot that day. Xerxes brought down all the Alterans who’d come, draining the ascended who’d told the ones in the final stage where we were, and using the power to take the ones in the final stage with him to the Gate.” Ed almost seemed to respect this guy. Then he shrugged. “We landed in a desert, destroyed the mirror so they couldn’t follow, and built what would become the capitol of the Xerxesian empire. The city of Xerxes. And the Alterans thought they’d won, because they couldn’t find us, and the reality we’d chosen could only be found as long as the mirror existed. So they thought we were dead.”
“Then they were wiped out about four hundred years ago, after they created the first homunculus.” Ling added.
“But then how are you—?”
“The rotten bastard.”
“Sir, we know the atreans— ”
“Alterans!” Ed threw in.
“Alterans, were experimenting with time travel—”
“No. He just lived on.”
“For four hundred years?”
“Yeah, Brat bastard.”
“Um, Ed?”
“What!”
“If your father was four hundred, how old are you?”
“Twenty four.” He glowered.
“Same here. Or two hundred depending on how you count it.”
Ed’s eyes glow in a different way. Ling’s are violet with diamond pupils. SG-1 has a definite impression that this isn’t the first time they’ve been utterly alien in another world.
“So why call Envy it?" Daniel asked.
Ling shrugged. "Envy was a shapeshifter."
"But surely this Envy had a default form?"
"Default eyesore." Ling muttered. Ed nodded. "An' its true form was a demented green chimera of a spider-lizard with a tail like a whip, the force of a club, and as long as your portal."
“The stargate isn’t long…”
“If ya took it apart and unrolled the metal”
"Don’t forget the tormented faces."
"You just had to remind me didntcha?"
"The Colonel burnt it," Ling reminded him. "Removed that eyesore of an outfit from the world forever."
Daniel shook his head wondering what Envy’s outfit had been like. "If that’s Envy, then what were the others like?
"Well Sloth was built like a tank, stronger than Armstrong, skin tough as rocks, and —when he bothered— faster than Wrath.”
"You could see Wrath." Ling agreed. "Wrath was fast enough to dodge bullets, a demon with the sword, and could see probabilities and how they’d play out. So he just enacted the best probabilities.”
“Gluttony could eat anything,” Ed picked up, "and the acid spit was bad enough but the second mouth—" they shared a shudder.
“Lust had extending nails. The Ultimate Spear. But that only helped so much when the colonel burnt her to death until it stuck.”
“And Pride? Well, no one who fought Pride would ever laugh at fear of the dark.”
Perhaps the ‘in the shadows’ when he described Pride earlier had not been a metaphor, as Daniel had assumed.
“But couldn’t your colonel help? You’ve said he does things with fire....”
"Fire casts shadows. Pride would have been stronger for it."
“Shadows?”
The two aliens looked at each other, and it was like they crammed a thousand words into the long glance. Then Ed looked back at him soberly. “Omnipresent, knife-sharp, many eyed, many fanged shadows.”
"Pride Wrath Sloth Lust Gluttony and Envy?"
“Yeah. That’s them.”
“Aren’t you missing one?”
"The Immortal Legion doesn’t count.” Ling groaned. “Dumber than Sloth and Gluttony together."
"And there was that bearded bastard."
"Yeah, pops had alchemy. Worst of the homunculi who were our enemies."
"He's a bastard most of the time, but a bastard in the right way."
“Think that covers it!” Ling said with a happy wave to indicate total lunacy.
Daniel must be very puzzled as to their culture, and geeking out over the implications of more than one country, and the fact that they have the seven deadly sins. But things they reference, like “as bad as a fight with Pride, bastard,” or “are you sure you shouldn’t be called Gluttony?”
“Please. I’m much smarter than he was.” He returned to inhaling lunch.
And then there’s the fact that they apparently first met at a place called the Devils Nest. If asked they say that it was a bar, and Ed, fifteen at the time was there because someone kidnapped my little brother to ask a stupid question with a stupid answer.
As they take off after Anubis Jack tries to say Ed&Ling shouldn’t come with.
Ed is about to go off when Ling says, “We are coming, and I think its time we reintroduced ourselves. Properly this time. So. The phoenix is called Goldie, but her name is Areal and she is servant to a being far beyond these Goa’uld. She is the primary agent of Truth.”
“Truth?” Sam asked. “So she’s the main judge and authority on your world, then?”
“No. Truth is her… Commander? Ruler? It tells her where she’s needed and she goes.”
“Then this Truth is a person?” Daniel asked.
“Truth has many names,” Ed agreed. “Truth, All, One, the World, You, God, Grinning White Bastard, and Decider of Equivalence.”
“Grinning white bastard?” Jack said, puzzled.
“It is, and it does. I’m Major Edward Elric, Fullmetal, the True Alchemist, one of the four Gate alchemists, Bane of Homunculus, redeemer of homunculi, Defeater of Pride—”
“Harbinger of Chaos,” Ling threw in.
“Am not!”
“Man who fed a shoe to the emperor,” Ling continued relentlessly, “Favored of Fenghunag, Raiser of Xerxes, Son of the Sage—”
“Don’t remind me.”
“Last King of Xerxes—”
“Hey!”
“Agent of Truth.” Ling finished. “We” the imperial We was clearly defined, “are Ling Yao, fifteenth emperor of Xing, The Immortal,” his voice changed, “and I’m Greed the avaricious, smartest of the seven homunculi. Nice to meetcha kids. ”
Kawhoosh. Went the wormhole. Ed and Ling dove through.
“Why those little… they were stalling!”
when they move as one, there is noting they cannot do. Ah its been too long. But such arrogance is a trap, the part of him that is Ling whispers. So what? Right, it got the rest killed, thinking they could do anything. Still, they can do almost anything.
When Ed gets Anubis he claps, and blue light makes an array, containing Anubis, and then the eye and the hands and the fog come. He is more real, glowing almost, with presence that can be felt, and he looks unyielding, fierce, in his element, and radiating power, lit from within. Burning. The hands take Anubis. SG1 stare, and understand his disregard for anything they could do, and the goa’uld can do, and the ascended can do, and wonder if this is why the Alterans feared his people. The Jaffa hit the deck.
When the light fades and the Eye closes SG1 cant say anything. Ling reappears and asks if he's all right.
"I will be." he turned to the Jaffa. "Oh get up. I'm not a god, I just work for it."
Jack found his voice as the phoenix sang of victory, soaring around the room like a blazing comet doing a victory lap. "What the hell was that?" And was she singing the Indiana Jones theme?
"Truth." Ed and Ling- Greed? replied in unison.
Later at the debriefing general wants to know why SG1 is acting like that and what happened to them. Ling says cheerfully, "Ed happened."
“So,” Jack folded his arms. “Emperor, huh?”
The black mist and violet not-light, black hand-things that took Anubis apart, this eerie red glow inside the holes they made, that fizzing hum ringing in the background, and this- this... eye swooshing open with a sound like the sound effects in a bad scifi movie, only those could never be even a shadow of this sound...
“What was that?”
“The gate of Truth.”
“But what’s that?”
“Something I don’t like to talk about. Ask GreeLing.”
Greed calling Gate 'the hard edge of alchemy' when Ed says to ask GreeLing.
Teal'c says that Ed and Ling are formidable after sparring with them.
"So if you’re immortal why do you try so hard to avoid being hit?"
Violet eyes gave her a sideways look. "Because dying hurts," he said, tone oozing 'isn’t it obvious.'
“How does it work with you, then?”
A moment of thought , and likely, internal debate. “We’re both here. Together. Sometimes control is more with one than the other, but together. It’s… easier that way. Like one of those child’s playthings, that go up and down on a slant. One of us on each end, and it goes up and down, but we prefer to meet in the middle.”
Ed being revealed as a major explains a lot about why he expected people under that rank to do what he said, and he tended to say it with such unthinking authority that they did it.
"So have you always been two people or...?"
"Nah, I've been around longer than this guy's been alive."
"Then how-"
"How'd they end up GreeLing?" Ed threw in, finishing his bread. "Emperor of Xing set up this weird ass succession test-"
"It’s an ancient tradition stretching back thousands of years!"
"Like I said. And he was trying to get rid of most of his heirs, since he had forty kids with a claim on the throne. So he set this impossible task where whoever could bring back the secret of immortality gets the throne. Since Amestris is the greatest alchemical nation since Xerxes fell, the Idiot came looking for the immortality from a philosopher’s stone."
"And that’s how I met Ed!"
"Yanno, the stone was supposed to be a myth."
"You never thought so."
Ed ignored Ling. "He turned up a few months before the Homunculus war took off and decided to stalk me until he got what he wanted. Always turning up in the window. "
"It worked.” Ling shrugged.
"Only because of that mess with Gluttony and Envy."
"We both got what we were after and it was your idea anyway."
Someone interrupted before Ling or Greed could respond. "Then... He became a homunculus and got Greed, even though Greed already existed?"
"You got it." the hand with the Ouroborus waved lazily.
"How does that even work?"
The two aliens looked at each other for a moment. "He got a philosophers stone."
"I don’t really have blood anymore. Just the stone." Ling grimaced with the memory of pain.
"What?"
"Due to something we've sworn not to talk about, the father of the homunculi decided I'd do to remake Greed with."
"Remake?"
"I didn’t like taking orders and left."
Ling took over again. "The stone replaced my blood, rebuilding my body. It hurt. Greed came with it."
"And his father was pissed when we hit Xing! He set a test that should be impossible, and here's me 'n Ling, exactly what he ordered!"
"He was rather upset," Ling agreed. "Naturally, he wanted the stone. He was quite angry when I refused his demand the second time, informing him that even if he managed to drain every drop of blood from my body it would simply turn to dust and he would gain nothing."
"Not that we'd let anyone do that anyway," Greed added.
Ascended went for ascension because they realized they’d done something that upset truth so they ascended rather than die and meet truth. They had something of an affinity for the gate, but in ascending they lost whatever they had of alchemy.
What they did that upset Truth was the Quantum Mirror.
Ed forcefully de-ascends every single ascended with some equivalent to an astral earthquake. All ascended. Oma's bunch, Lanteans, Ori, the Others, all of them. They wind up all over more than one galaxy on whatever planet was closest to their location in the astral plane.
Ling whistles.
And with that the boy-man who brought Equivalence with him, and the man who was both the living incarnation of Greed and the ruler of a country reached out, and the wings of the phoenix enveloped both of them, vanishing from the world.