Chapter Text
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Daisy:
Aged 19
Physical appearance:
Brunette girl in a wavy bob haircut, fair skin. She has a bracelet on her left wrist, and red lipstick.
Clothes: Cropped Yellow Jacket, white blouse, red plaid skirt, white socks and red sneakers.
Voice Claim: Kira Buckland
Luis:
Aged 18
Physical Appearance:
Black haired boy with combed hair with undercut, wear glasses with blue lens (he has sclera) Brown skin.
Clothes: Goldish yellow short sleeved shirt, white sleeveless undershirt, red pants and crimson like colored sneakers.
Voice Claim: Carlos Diaz (same VA as Rock and Lorenzo)
“This is Toronto, the capital of North America, birthplace of funk, where the albino panther roams free. Beneath my manly size 13 brogues, twenty teams are arriving at this historic train station, ready to embark on a race around the world. I’m your host, Don, and this is the Ridonculous Race!”
Intro
“Welcome to the Ridonculous Race. Right now, twenty teams from across the country, are readying themselves to embark on a race to the death!”
A static noise and someone’s voice can be heard on Don’s earpiece
“Not to the death? Okay. Let’s meet the teams that aren’t racing to the death!”
“Carrie and Devin, Best Friends.” Devin was seen reading a book, and Carrie was seen blushing and looking at him, infatuated.
Interview: Best Friends
“I met Devin in the sandbox, and we haven’t spent a day apart since. If anyone can win this race it’s us!”
“Yeah, I know Carrie so well, it’s like... what are you doing?”
“Lint check! For the camera! Hehehe! Woo! Race!”
“Daisy and Luis, the not lovey-dovey couple aka the Exes” Luis was seen trying to look at Daisy but she looks away.
Interview: Exes
“We used to date each other for a few months and... we broke up about like uh... recently.”
“We weren’t exactly the best couple but-“
“Shut up, Luis.”
“Aww...”
“Anyway, we’re so excited about traveling into some countries!”
“And we will win the Race. Wahoo!” Luis said excitedly as Daisy glared at him.
“Kelly and Taylor, Mother and Daughter”
Interview: Mother and Daughter
“So um... A, I’m really hot, obviously, and B, I’m pretty much the best at doing everything until my mom messes it up we’re so winning the race!”
"Taylor and her friends love when I hang out with them! I'm known as the 'cool mom'! We're so tight, people mistake us for sisters!"
“Wait, what?”
“Emma and Kitty, actual sisters” Kitty was seen snapping selfies and her sister Emma, who was looking for something, glares at her and snatches her phone.
Interview: Sisters
“I’m studying international law so that’s really going to give us an edge which is good because we’re here to win.”
“And see the world! Meet hot people and have some fun!
“If there’s time for that which there won’t be so let’s focus on winning, okay?”
“...Good.”
“Crimson and Ennui, two exceptionally pale teens... okay that’s just unnerving.”
“Owen and Noah, seasoned TV participants”
Interview: Reality TV Pros
“Noah and I met on Total Drama, and we’ve been on tons of reality shows since then. Like Meltdown Kitchen, and Scare Tractor, and Fashionista flip-flop!”
“Don’t know how you got on that one.”
“I’m just so psyched to be reunited with my little buddy. Come here!”
Owen hugs Noah so tight that he is unable to breathe.
“Mickey and Jay, identical twins who are used to overcoming Adversity”
Some luggage bags fall onto the twins
Interview: Adversity Twins
“We’ve been through a lot, but we’re not cursed! Well, whatever’s right before cursed. Heh, that’s us!”
“Like, when I was six, I fell into a burrowing owls nest and one of the baby owls flew into my ear. To this day, everything still sounds like Hoo Hoo hoo!”
“We’re constantly fighting adversity and overcoming it”
“We’ve gotta switch sides, you’re just ‘hoo hoo hoo’!”
“The totally in love daters, opposite to the exes, daters!”
Interview: Daters
“Stephanie and I met at the gym two months and six days ago, and we’ve been going steady ever since!”
“We’re so excited! Neither of us have ever traveled before, there’s so much to discover! Like, what do chocolate protein bars taste like in China?”
“I was just wondering that!”
“No way...”
They begin to make out.
The train arrives at its destination, and two ice dancers come out.
“Josee and Jacques, Ice Dancers”
Interview: Ice Dancers
“We know how to win. We’ve won gold everywhere!”
“Except for the Olympics. Or that Ice Skating show. Where he dropped me, so we only got silver.”
“I don’t want to talk about it!” He left the room.
“Jacques! Silver is his least favorite color.”
“Athletic rivals, Lightning and Jo.”
Interview: Athletic Rivals
“We met in Total Drama, and we normally don’t get along and now we’ve been invited here!”
“Sha-Lightning will take his next sha-chance here! And we will win for sure!”
“Yeah, right.”
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“Geoff and Brody, lifelong friends and Surfer Dudes.”
“Going around the world on someone else’s time. Sweet! Hey Bridge, love you babe!
Interview: Surfer Dudes
“My girl and I did Total Drama, but she’s surfing her way around Australia right now, so boom! Enter, my bud, Brody!”
“Yeah guy! Bros forever! G and B for the W-I-N!”
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“Also competing, Dwayne and Dwayne Junior, Father and Son”
Interview: Father and Son
“Oh I spend a lot of time at the old office there, so this race is a perfect chance for Junior and I to squeeze in a little father son bonding time! Right bucko?”
“Uh... yeah, sure dad. Hey, um... are there any other kids my age in this thing?”
“Oh... uh...”
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“Sanders and MacArthur, Ambitious police cadets”
Interview: Police Cadets
“We’re tough as nails! And we’ll go to the extreme to win this thing!”
“Definitely, as long as we don’t break any international laws.”
“I’m only okay with breaking a few.”
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“Lorenzo and Chet, new stepbrothers.”
Interview: Stepbrothers
“My dad married his mom, last year, but we still hate each other so they’re making us do this! Jerks!”
“Don’t call my mom a jerk, you jerk!”
“Shut up your word hole!”
“Grrah!”
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Interview: Fashion Bloggers
“Also competing, Tom and Jen, highly attractive fashion bloggers with impeccable taste... I told you not to let the teams write their own cards!”
“Hey hey! To all our blog followers out there, wish us luck!
“I bet Jen we could win the race, but I didn’t think she’d actually take me up on it!”
“I put my mind to something, and it happens.”
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“Rock and Spud, the rockers.”
Interview: Rockers
“Spud wasn’t sure about this, since y’know he’s not super fit or good at much anything except... rocking out!”
“So I just said, you rock, bud. I’ll carry you!”
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“Laurie and Miles, granola loving, hippie-dippie Vegans”
Interview: Vegans
“We want to win so we can donate to our favorite charities.”
“Save the Hunchback Walrus, Goat Milk Eco Warriors, People for the Ethical Treatment of Ants, so many great causes!”
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“Ellody and Mary, Scientific Geniuses who say they’ll use their winnings to support the science community.”
Interview: Geniuses
“Astrophysics is underfunded, reality shows offer monetary prizes, conundrum solved!”
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“Leonard and Tammy, dedicated live action role players, whatever the heck it is...”
Interview: LARPERs
“Pahkitew Island was tough! But with Tammy’s new spells, huzzah! We’ll claim the dragon’s eye! That’s dwarvish for one million.”
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And Gerry and Pete, retired pro tennis players and friendly rivals.
Interview: Tennis Rivals
“We’re both very competitive. But for half a mil each? Game on!” They chuckle.
“Maybe we’ll get some new sponsorships! If anyone needs a pitchman for senior’s laxatives...”
“Call his agent!” They laughed at the joke.
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“Welcome contestants, this is the starting line for your 28-part race around the globe! Each party ends in a chill zone! Get there fast, because the last team to stand at a Carpet of Completion may be cut from the competition. But the first team to arrive at the last Chill Zone will receive one million dollars!”
Everyone smiled.
“This is our Ridonculous Tip Box, also known as the Don Box. Press the button to get the travel tips that will lead you through the Ridonculous Race. Ready, teams? Because your race around the world is about to begin. On your marks... get set... RACE!! Wait, watch the face! Not the hair!” (Gets trampled)
The teams have arrived at the same time to the Don Box and a tip came out.
“Race on foot to the CN Tower and find the Don Box to get your next tip.” Geoff read.
The Exes pressed the Don Box and Daisy read it.
“Race on foot to the CN Tower and find the Don Box to get your next tip.”
“Daisy, look! Here’s the tower!”
“The competition is just the beginning!”
The Exes pass the Surfer Dudes and Father and Son.
“Woah, nasty! Are you guys okay?”
“Oh, radical...”
“Oh, my bad!” Junior facepalmed as he glared at his dad.
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“There’s the Don Box!”
“It’s an Either-Or Challenge.” Junior read as the best friends, sisters and the tv pros arrive.
“What’s an Either-Or?” Junior asked.
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“An Either-Or challenge gives teams the choice between two unique challenges. In this case, they can either do Stairs, which entails 144 flights of stairs to reach the world’s tallest observation deck, that’s just a billion stairs, or Scares, where they’ll take the elevator before getting the scare of a lifetime by doing a skywalk all the way around outside of the tower. Not to worry though, they’ll be wearing helmets. And as an extra precaution, a safety rail has been installed.”
“Teams must finish either task and then talk to this local guide to receive their next tip.”
“Climb one 144 flights of stairs? Hah! We’ll do scares.”
“Scares.” Tom said.
“We’ll do Scares, Luis.”
“What!? But... but I haven’t decided-“ Gets pulled by the arm by Daisy.
The stepbrothers fight over the tip, Chet lets go of it, sending Lorenzo to the ground. “Scares! Called it!”
“...Stairs.” Mickey.
“Sha-Lightning will always pick Stairs!”
“Let’s go, Lightning! to the stairs!”
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Interview: Adversity Twins
“Mickey gets nosebleeds when he goes up too high fast. Makes it pretty tough to take flights or, y’know, go up really tall towers.” Jay pulled the tip away from Mickey.
“Gah! Paper cut!”
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Dwayne and Junior go inside the elevator
“First in, alright! Way to go Junior! Give me a high-five!”
Dwayne misses the high-five and slams his hand into all the elevator buttons.
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“For a skinny tower, there sure are a lot of floors!”
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Dwayne whistled as he left with Junior as the Surfer Dudes, Police Cadets, Fashion Bloggers, Ice Dancers, Exes, Daters and Stepbrothers arrive.
“Hey, who pushed all the buttons?”
“Better take the stairs!”
“Or we could just wait?”
“Hustle!” MacArthur ran as Sanders followed suit.
Daisy glared at Luis while he nervously waves hello at Jen.
“No way I can walk that much.”
“Eh, it probably still be faster.” Jen said as the elevators doors closed.
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Father and Son are now climbing the stairs.
Interview: Father and Son
“If anyone asks, we chose stairs. Always stairs.”
“While Father and Son and the Adversity Twins commit to climbing the absurd number of stairs, more teams choose Scares. But they’re in for a looooong wait.”
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“Heya, Fashion Blog followers! We would like to take this time to talk about today’s fashion faux pas, which is...”
“Overalls. Ugh. Nasty.”
“I know, right? Ugh, like, get with today!”
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The Fashion Bloggers arrive on the top floor, with the janitor mop and bucket on their heads.
“I don’t see any other teams... we’re in first place! YEAH!”
“Let’s hit the skywalk and strut all the way to the winner’s circle!”
“We have to walk out here!?”
“Oh yes it is. The Ridonculous Race will return!”
Commercial break.
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Back to the teams on the stairs. “Those that abandoned the elevator are in for a painful climb, and frankly, that’ll be more fun to watch.”
“On the upside, we’re definitely not in last place! On the downside, that probably won’t be true for long...”
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“Ugh! Thanks for being slow, now we’re in a race for last place. When we get home, hire yourself a personal trainer.”
“Great idea, sweetie!”
“I know, that’s why I thought of it.”
On the other side...
“Daisy! We need to introduce ourselves to these guys, Hi! I’m Luis!”
“Oh, hi Luis, I’m Carrie! And this is Devin, my best friend!”
“Hi!! I’m Kitty!” Kitty excitedly waves her hand to Luis’ introduction.
“Luis, no alliances.” Daisy scolded Luis.
Interview: Daisy
“There’s no room for alliances and Luis should not join in any of them.”
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In the stairs...
We see Jo and Lightning catching up to the Twins and the Surfer Dudes.
“Sha-BAM! Lightning will top this!” Lightning said while passing the Twins
“Wait a minute, Lightning, was that Cameron?”
“Cameron? I doubt she’s on the Race! But that’s not important!”
Interview: Jo
“Those two twins remind me of Cameron, but at least he’s not on the Race.”
“Sweet form, dudes! Keep it up!” Brody told them as he passed the Twins.
“They seem nice...”
“No alliances, remember?”
Interview: Adversity Twins
“Jay doesn’t think we should form any alliances...”
“We’re soft meat.”
“Really soft meat.”
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Sanders is tired from running too many stairs.
“Ugh... thighs on fire... so queasy...”
After she said that, MacArthur lifts Sanders up on her shoulder.
“So, you’re one of those skinny-fat people who can’t climb ten flights of stairs without spewing chunks, huh? What do you do, yoga?”
“As most of the teams continue to climb or wait... and wait... and wait some more... the Fashion Bloggers are the first to reach the observation deck, but the scare might be too much for them!”
“We can’t go out on that death walk! I am fashionably svelte! The wind will literally blow me away!”
“With the return of the elevator, the competition is heating up!”
The Best Friends, The Exes, Tennis Rivals, Goths, Sisters, Geniuses and Vegans make it. But Emma pressed immediately the close door button.
“Rude!” Taylor angrily said as she stomped on the floor.
On the Elevator...
“Hey...” He waved discreetly at Carrie without being seen by Daisy.
Back to the Scares
“Wow, cool robe!” Owen complimented Leonard’s robe.
“It has powers! Watch! Disappearacus Convincicus! Can’t see me anymore, can you? Uh... I’m gonna go over there.”
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While on the observation deck...
“Helmets!? Are you crazy!? You want us to ruin our hair!? No, I did not sign up for that!”
“Plus, aubergine isn’t really my color.”
“It’s not. Trust.”
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Back to the stairs.
“Doing great, bro! Our calves are gonna be so toned after this!”
“Yeah, totally! We’re gonna look like Greek Gods from the knees down!”
“Lightning IS a God! BAM!” Lightning said as Jo eyerolled.
“Hello, to all our fans! We love you! Mwah!”
“Put me down, I can do this!
“I beg to differ, chicken legs.”
Interview: Police Cadets
It’s all in the glutes! I only use the stair machine at the gym. I’m basically 80% glutes at this point, they’ve taken over the rest of my muscles. You see this? That’s glutes. It’s all glutes.”
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“After an hour of stair climbing, some of our contestants are really losing it.”
“If we come in last, it’s your fault... doofus!”
“Hurry up...climb faster...slowpoke!”
“Stop breathing on my back... sweatball!”
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Meanwhile with the Adversity Twins...
“Stay with me, Mickey. Eyes wide!”
“It’s okay, mom, I don’t need a new elephant.”
“This is why we don’t visit a lot of skyscrapers.”
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On the observation deck...
“There’s the skywalk, come on!”
“Hold on, I need to make sure my helmet is disinfected before we do this!”
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While the Best Friends...
“Oh man...”
“Okay, you’ve always wanted to conquer your fear of heights, right?” Carrie said as she holds her hands onto Devin’s.
“I’m not scared of heights, I’m scared of falling! Big difference.”
“Don’t worry, it’s a tv competition! It’s gotta be safe!” While Carrie stared lovingly at Devin, a familiar bird lands on the safety net and makes it collapse. “Okay never mind...”
Luis and Daisy walk on the deck “We’re not taking any risks, let’s do this.” As they walk to the top, Luis waves goodbye to Carrie.
“Oh heck yeah, now we’re in the lead! Way to sleep, chuckleheads! Hahaha!”
“You can do it! I believe in you!
“That makes one of us...!”
The Best Friends now try to catch up with The Exes and the Tennis Rivals...
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Back to the Elevator
“Make way for one more!”
“Sorry, no room.” Taylor then pressed the close doors button, but Owen managed to get inside.
A fart noise is heard
“What was that?”
A fart cloud fills up the elevator, it grosses everyone else, but Noah is used to it.
Commercial break.
Cut to the Best Friends
“Not going to die... not going to die...!”
“That’s it! We’re close! We’re almost in the top!”
“I couldn’t have done this without you!” Carrie smiled as Devin said that.
Interview: Best Friends
“I am afraid of falling, but Carrie is always there for me.”
Carrie giggles and blushes at him
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“This is sooo cool! Woohoo!”
“Kitty, focus! This is life or death!”
“Come on, look at what we’re doing, it’s incredible! I just feel so alive!”
“Yeah, I’ll make sure they put that quote on your grave.” Emma said as she pulled Kitty.
“Promise me you’ll never let go!”
“Never! Can you people believe pay to do this?”
“We’re doing this for you, Mother Earth!”
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Back to the stairs...
“Coming through, Cadets for the win!”
“Not for long!” Jacques said as he and Josee arrived
Back at the elevator a fart cloud leaves the elevator, everyone coughs.
“The last elevator has arrived. But while those teams still have to take the dreaded skywalk, teams who take the stairs are literally leaping into the lead.”
The Ice Dancers and the Athletic Rivals leapt out the door from the stairwell, with sweat.
“First place?” Jacques said
The tip giver nodded and gave him the next tip.
“Catch a flight with a zip, ride the line your tip.”
“Eh?”
“Teams must take a zip line over Lake Ontario to this airport and snag their next tip along the way. The line was tested by our intern, Andrew. Condolences again to his family.”
“Go Team Canada!” The Ice Dancers went to the zip line and grabbed the tip. “Yes!”
“Lightning will go after them! Go, go go!” Lightning and Jo leapt onto the zip line and he grabbed next tip.
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“Thank goodness... it’s over.” Devin said as he and Carrie ran inside the skywalk.
“We did it Daisy! Yeah!”
“Whatever.” Daisy and Luis also went inside the skywalk.
Pete falls down to the ground. “Ow! My artificial knees just gave out!”
Interview: Tennis Rivals
“Gotta say, agreeing to do this show was a great idea. We’ve been through way tougher battles than any of these kids. So what if they’re got more zing, more ambition, more optimism, more... this show was a terrible idea.”
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At the end of the stairs...
The police Cadets arrive at the top of the stairs.
“Finally! Now, your turn to carry me.”
“What!?”
“Ha! I’m joking! You couldn’t carry a loaf of bread!”
Interview: Police Cadets
“Don’t worry, I’m sure a lot of teams are carrying some dead weight.”
“What? Are you referring to me?”
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“Zipline? I’ve always wanted to do that! This is awesome!” Carrie sounded excited as she finished reading the tip
“Zipline? I kinda wanted to do that, this is alright, I guess.” Daisy finished reading the tip.
“Zipline? I never wanted to do that! This is awful!” Gerry said as he finished reading the tip.
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At the end of the zipline...
“Thank you! We love you! Merci!” The Ice dancers arrived first, and they waved at the camera.
“Who are you waving to? There’s nobody here.”
“Our fans!”
Interview: Ice Dancers
“Our fans give us the energy we need to perform under extreme pressure. Without them, my partner Jacques would never be able to overcome his many faults.”
“Uh, why did you say many like that?”
“You know why.”
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“Sha-Lightning on the top! Bam!” Lightning said before Jo started reading the next tip.
“Book two seats on the next flight of Morocco.”
“Sha-Ching! We’re going to Morcow!” Lightning said as Jo facepalmed.
Interview: Athletic Rivals
“Why’d say Morcow, it’s Morocco dammit!”
“Morrochow, Monaco, Monoco...” Lightning said as he tried to pronounce Morocco.
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“There are three flights heading for Morocco, departing thirty minutes apart. Teams who make it onto the first flight have the distinct advantage of arriving first. Teams on the last flight should probably question why they even entered this race, because wow, really?”
Interview: Reality TV Pros
“Every reality show we’ve been on, we’ve lost. This time, no excuses, no distractions. We’ve got our eyes on the cheddar.”
“And to taste the foods! ...I mean winning! Woohoo!”
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Now onto the zipline with The Best Friends.
“You did it! You’re the best!” Devin said as Carrie blushed at him.
Interview: Best Friends
“I had to do the race with Carrie, she’s smart, fast and determined!”
“Aww...”
“And my girlfriend Shelley was busy.” Carrie infatuated gaze was turned into a saddened one when he mentioned Shelley.
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With the exes...
“Yes! We got the tip!” Luis said excitedly.
While the Tennis Rivals...
“Need a hand?” Gerry pushed Pete to the water below him. “That was for Wimbledon ’77!” And when he grabbed the tip “Gotcha!” He screamed as he fell down into the water...
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Back to the skywalk...
“Ah. You need to put on a few pounds!”
“Do NOT LET GO!!”
Interview: Reality TV Pros.
“Maybe doing this show wasn’t such a good idea.”
“Maybe...”
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With the rockers...
“Heh! Check this out!” Rock spit something and it landed on Spud. “Haha, sorry!”
Interview: Rockers
The wind was howling like pshh! And the spit whipped his face like Pweet! And then there was a bird that was like Tweet! Tweet!
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The Cadets are now in the zipline.
“Whoever grabs the tip gets top bunk back at our dorm room!”
“I already have the top bunk!”
“Not for long!”
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Now with the stairs...
The surfer dudes arrive at the top.
“Yeah! We did it!” Before Brody collapsed “Ah! My calves! My calves!”
Brody yelled in pain as the father and son and Daters arrived.
“We did it baby!”
“Watch your step babycheeks.”
“I love it when you’re all gentlemen-like!”
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In the skywalk...
The Reality TV Pros get inside, and the Geniuses followed suit covered with bugs. Mary spat out a fly out of her mouth.
Interview: Geniuses
“Judging by the splatter, the wind velocity was 45 knots. Twenty more and we’d be splattered.”
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“Morocco!? Wahoo!”
“Oh yeah! We’re going to rock it in Morocco!” Daisy said excitedly.
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Meanwhile, more and more teams arrive at the airport...
“As more teams reach the tarmac and get seats on flights one and two, the race to not come in last intensifies.”
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And with the Twins and Surfers...
“Almost there, Mickey... stay with me.”
“I’m a dainty princess...”
“Come on, bro! We gotta move!”
“Potassium! I need potassium!”
“Does anybody have a banana!?”
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And now we see the Stepbrothers fighting before they reached the tarmac...
“Get off! I snagged it! I read it!”
...then the Surfer Dudes land on top of them.
“Sorry, thanks for breaking our fall, dudes! Morocco? Awesome, dude!”
Then the Adversity twins land on the stepbrothers
“We did it! Oh uh... sorry.”
“Take the next flight to Morocco... Come on!”
“Yay... flying.”
And lastly, the Tennis Rivals finally come out of the water.
“The teams have arrived and the flights have been booked. Flight number 1 will carry the Ice Dancers, Athletic Rivals, Best Friends, Exes, Sisters, the Cadets and the Daters. Flight number 2 will carry the Vegans, Reality TV Pros, Father and Son, Fashion Bloggers, Mother and Daughter, the Geniuses and the Rockers. And Flight number 3 has the LARPers, Goths, Surfers, Adversity Twins, Stepbrothers and Tennis Rivals. Who will win the first jaunt in our race? Tune into next time to find out! The Ridonculous Race is to be continued!”