Chapter Text
Sasuke was going viral.
Not by his own doing, and certainly not with his permission, but that was irrelevant. He might not have even known except suddenly, he was getting recognized. Once was a fluke, but dozens of times meant something.
Usually, people went out of their way to avoid him while he was out in public. The closest anyone ever came to clocking him was “Hey, has anyone ever told you that you look like…”
Sasuke never let them finish if he could help it. He’d cut them off with a curt “No.” But it was always Itachi. Sasuke just wanted to live his life in peace and anonymity, and this was yet another thing his brother had determined for him.
But now it was “Oh my god, you’re Uchiha Sasuke!” and “You were my favorite on Ninja High!” and even “I remember you from Codename: ANBU!”
He’d managed to refuse selfies and autographs so far, neither confirming nor denying his identity, but it was only a matter of time before someone took a picture. Sasuke had even taken to leaving his house in a hat and sunglasses, something he hadn’t even needed to do when he was working.
Someone mentioned seeing clips of him on their social media feed, and even though he had avoided watching any of his own performances thus far, desperate times called for desperate measures. For the first time in his life, Sasuke searched for his own name online.
Dozens of ghosts stared back at him. Thumbnail after thumbnail populated the page, younger versions of himself, occasionally flanked by people he hadn’t seen in years. Sasuke sat back in his desk chair and ran a hand through his hair. He couldn’t do this.
He paced his house, cleaned his sink, poured a shot of whiskey, curiosity tugging at him. After a second shot, he ripped the bandage off.
Does anyone else remember “Ninja High” or was that just my fever dream? It was like teen-melodrama-meets-martial-arts-meets-comedy and when I tell you I was obsessed with Senri—
Sasuke clicked away as soon as his own face appeared, but the influencer in the next video was just a tiny picture-in-picture on top of clips from the show.
I’m still mad that we never got a third season of “Ninja High” because—
Next.
I know Meguru was the main character but y’all were sleeping on my boy Senri—
This time, Sasuke was inundated with footage of himself: throwing kunai, climbing trees, and brooding, always with the brooding. He was too sober for this.
The next video was worse.
Was it just me or did anyone else low-key ship Meguru and Senri?
Sasuke slammed his laptop shut, but it didn’t matter. Of course it was that scene. Every step of filming that long, drawn out fight sequence was burned into his brain. Gun to his head, he could probably still remember the choreography and his lines. Maybe even the blocking. How many nights had Naruto made him work late to rehearse that fight, determined to get the tension just right? How many times had Sasuke’s back hit the mat, desperately pretending not to react to Naruto straddling him? Forget anything he’d ever done on camera; Sasuke deserved a fucking Oscar for that performance.
Just another one of the many reasons he had no desire to revisit that chapter of his life.
Itachi wouldn’t be happy he was drinking again, but he was too busy being a critical darling to find out, so Sasuke poured himself a double. Destroying his liver would really show his brother. And Naruto. And himself.
At least he wasn’t mixing pills with it anymore.
Acting was Itachi’s thing, not his. Back then, all Sasuke wanted was to spend time with his brother, and tagging along to auditions and doing that cheeseball spy show together felt like the best way to do it. Sasuke realized pretty quickly that it didn’t matter what he wanted. What he got was an agent who made passes at him out of one corner of his mouth and told him not to act so gay out of the other. Movie roles that demanded way too much from someone his age. Humiliating commercials. Pointless roles on kids’ cable shows, surrounded by child actors who didn’t know what the hell they were doing. Interviews and photo shoots and screaming girls at premieres and no privacy and a nosy set teacher who casually pickpocketed his cigarettes.
Worst of all, Sasuke was good at it. Memorizing his lines and hitting his marks took no effort at all. He was a wreck in all other aspects of his life, but when the camera was rolling, he was natural. Effortless. He’d won awards not just for his films but for those insipid shows, too. Even some of the commercials.
He never asked for any of it.
Before long, he was sipping yet another drink and torturing himself with still more videos, this time on his phone.
Hey, I’m Sasuke from "Codename: ANBU” and you’re watching—
Ugh, anything but the idents. Next.
Something I think we don’t talk about enough is the absolute chokehold the Uchiha brothers had on you if you were a girl growing up in the—
I stayed up all night finding the best MeguSen fanfics so you don’t have to—
Where are they now, “Ninja High” edition!
Sasuke stopped scrolling. Maybe this video had the answers as to why people were talking about the dumb show so much, and how urgently Sasuke needed to relocate.
“Ninja High” was a teen cable show about a high school for ninjas, and it’s had something of a resurgence lately thanks in no small part to its star, Uzumaki Naruto, but we'll save him for last.
First up, Haruno Sakura played Momoko, the hot-tempered overachiever who always got top marks in class. Life imitated art, because Sakura took some time off from acting in order to earn a master’s degree in Microbiology, although she’s recently returned to the industry in a few high-profile guest roles.
Sasuke hadn’t heard from Sakura since the show wrapped. Life imitated art in more ways than one, because she’d had a crush on him just like her character did on the show. He was glad she’d given up on that, and that she’d gone on to do something she actually wanted to do, unlike him.
Sasuke watched the rest of the cast updates with only mild interest. Apparently, Rock Lee was making martial arts movies now, and Gaara had become a teacher, but they had recreated their fight scene for social media not long ago.
Yeah, Sasuke and Naruto wouldn’t be doing that.
Ino had moved into music, Hinata had done a bunch of horror movies, and Shikamaru had a cushy job on a procedural, but Sasuke didn’t really care.
He was only interested in one update, which was stupid because he already knew exactly what Naruto was doing.
Which brings us to Naruto, also known as our underdog protagonist Meguru. His star has been on the rise with no signs of stopping, gaining worldwide renown from fans and critics alike for leading roles in award-winning television dramas like “Hokage” and “Shadow Clone.” But Naruto made headlines in a recent interview where he said that Meguru was still his all-time favorite role, proving he never forgot where he came from.
What a joke. Ninja High was a terrible show. They did the best they could with the writing but it was a glorified soap opera with kicking, and even though Sasuke had never watched it, he was sure it hadn’t aged well. This was just Naruto fucking around.
Unlike Sasuke, Naruto had broken his back to become an actor. He didn’t have parents to chauffeur him around from audition to audition, and he didn’t have the natural talent, but he more than made up for it in determination. Sasuke had never seen anyone work harder at it, which was the only reason he tolerated Naruto in the first place. From their very first chemistry read, Naruto had latched onto Sasuke, and from then on, he monopolized Sasuke’s free time for the entire run of the show. Naruto was always begging to run lines together or do some inane acting exercise under the guise of friendship.
And Sasuke had gone right along with it.
He scrolled to the next video. It was the same influencer, and comment after comment popped up on the screen around his head: How could you forget Sasuke? This is Senri erasure! Uchiha Sasuke where are you?
Huh. Sasuke hadn’t even noticed.
Lots of you have been coming for me in the comments, and no, I didn’t forget about Uchiha Sasuke, aka Senri, the anti-hero and Meguru’s dispirited and mysterious rival. He was my favorite character and he was always gonna get his own video.
But the truth is, since “Ninja High” wrapped, Sasuke has pretty much disappeared from the public eye. In his last interview, he expressed a desire to travel, and he was dropped by his management company shortly after.
Dropped? Sasuke had broken his contract. And the influencer didn’t mention his drug busts, or the settlement with his former agent. Even though he was a minor at the time, it wouldn’t be that hard to dig into.
His brother Itachi has remained tight-lipped about his whereabouts, historically declining to answer questions about Sasuke in interviews.
So he was still pretending he didn’t have a brother, which suited Sasuke just fine.
And if Naruto knows what his first on-screen kiss is up to these days, he isn’t telling, either.
Sasuke didn’t need the jumpscare, but there it was. That scene. Honestly, it wasn’t even the scene itself that bothered him. That “kiss” was a stupid punchline that sucked even for the time, but he didn’t write it and he couldn’t take it back. It was remembering all the times it happened off camera that sent Sasuke back to his whiskey bottle. Naruto would whine about how unfair it was that Sasuke got to do “real” kissing scenes with girls, then beg Sasuke to practice with him so he’d be ready when he finally got his chance.
And, like a fool, Sasuke had done it.
During a recent podcast appearance, Naruto said that he wishes Sasuke well. And, for all you diehards out there, when asked if he thought Meguru would have ended up with Momoko or Rumina, he said he was, and this is a direct quote, “Team Senri all the way.” So make of that what you will!
Sasuke’s eyes went wide. What was he playing at?
Well, that’s all I’ve got for now! Leave a comment if you want more cast updates, and Sasuke, if you’re out there watching, you’re welcome on my podcast any time! We haven’t forgotten you, and now is the perfect time for a comeback!
A comeback? Sasuke swirled the last of the whiskey around in his glass. He didn’t want to come back, but he did want answers.
Sasuke listened to that podcast, but not because he was hoping Naruto had more than well wishes to offer him. Naruto didn’t, but he did have some more thoughts on the show, like how happy he was that a whole new generation was watching, how he got a kick out of the MeguSen fan theories, and that he thought it’d be canon if the show came out today.
He was certainly more professional and mature than he used to be, but still just as infuriating.
He didn’t mention their drunken makeout at the wrap party, or how he begged Sasuke not to quit because he didn't know who he was as an actor without Sasuke. Naruto didn’t mention the two years’ worth of voicemails he had left to that effect before finally giving up, or that he still drunk-texted once in a blue moon and never forgot to wish Sasuke a happy birthday. He didn’t mention the precious few times Sasuke had texted him.
Sasuke should’ve changed his number. He couldn’t believe Naruto hadn’t.
Then again, Sasuke had listened to all the voicemails and even kept some, so he really couldn’t claim the high ground.
It didn’t matter. Naruto could act just fine on his own. Both he and Itachi had achieved their dreams, of not just working consistently but picking and choosing projects that meant something to them. And Sasuke…
Well, he had done a lot of backpacking. Read some books. Gotten his GED online. He had hobbies, too, like cooking, gardening, and rock climbing. He was still living off his settlement money, plus the odd jobs he took here and there, so he had the freedom to do whatever he wanted.
He didn’t mind the quiet. Was he happy? No. But he was fine. Besides, the last time he was truly happy was…
Sasuke sighed and started another video.
Okay, I feel weird even posting this, but I’m like 98% sure that I saw Uchiha Sasuke last week.
The blurry picture sobered Sasuke right up. That was him at his usual grocery store, wearing a sweatshirt with the hood pulled up, buying a whole chicken. He still had the goddamn leftovers in his fridge. Anger and panic supplanted his drunken unease. This had to be illegal. How could a complete stranger just expose his location like this? The paparazzi hadn’t even cared about him at the height of his career, so why would anyone care now? Just because of a few videos?
I didn’t believe the sightings on his subreddit—He had a whole ass subreddit?—until I saw him with my own eyes. He’s not dead, you guys!
For the first time in a while, Sasuke almost wished he was. Before he had time to process what he was doing (because he wasn’t actually that sober), he was calling the number he had tried so hard to forget.
And even though it was the middle of the night, Naruto answered on the first ring.
“Sasuke.”
It was surreal, hearing his name in that voice again. Naruto sounded like he’d been waiting to say it, and maybe some small part of Sasuke had been waiting to hear it.
He was undeterred.
“Shut it down.”
Silence.
Then, “You call me at three o'clock in the morning for the first time in god knows how many years, and that’s all you have to say to me?”
Sasuke took back what he said about Naruto being more mature. “Shut it down.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
As if Naruto didn’t know. Old habits died hard, though, so Sasuke humored him. “You’ve been talking about me. You need to stop.”
“No I haven’t!” Naruto let out a loud yawn, then said, “Okay, maybe I said, like, one tiny thing, but it’s not my fault people are interested in you. You’re interesting.”
Sasuke grunted. Of course he knew. Naruto had always been hyperaware of what the media said about both of them.
“Then tell them I’m boring.”
Sasuke wasn’t trying to be funny, but Naruto still laughed. “We both know that’s not true."
The highlight of Sasuke’s month was the fact that his tomato seedlings had sprouted, but he wasn’t about to tell that to Naruto. “Look, all I know is, up until two weeks ago, I could go about my life in peace and quiet, then you start talking about fucking MeguSen and now I can’t leave my house without getting recognized.”
“You heard that interview?” Naruto sounded giddy, just like the first time he’d appeared in a teen magazine. He’d been so proud of that dumb clipping, even after Sasuke pointed out the article had gotten both his favorite food and favorite color wrong.
“Were you even listening to what I said?”
“Not really,” Naruto replied. “I’m just so happy to hear your voice.”
Sasuke should have hung up, but a small, stupid part of him was happy to hear Naruto’s voice, too. Not over an old voicemail, in an interview, or on a TV show, but speaking directly to him.
“Well, if you want me to be happy, you’ll make it stop.”
“That’s the thing, I don’t think I can,” Naruto said. “It’s so different now, with social media and all that. Itachi was always so good at controlling what got out about you—”
Sasuke’s blood ran cold. “What does he have to do with this?”
“You don’t know? Come on, you’re supposed to be smarter than me!”
“Of course I am,” Sasuke retorted automatically, even though he wasn’t so sure anymore. “I just want to see what you know.”
“Uh-huh.” Naruto clearly wasn’t fooled. “Man, how far back should I go? Guess that depends how dumb you are.”
“Naruto…”
“Wow,” Naruto sighed. “I know you’re pissed at me and everything, but I never thought I’d get to hear you say my name again.”
“Spit it out!”
“Okay, okay. Back when you tried to get out of your contract—”
“I did get out of my contract.”
“Itachi got you out of it,” Naruto corrected him. “They weren’t going to let you until he agreed to a holding deal. It was a real shitty one, too. He had to turn down some badass roles.”
Sasuke didn’t understand. He figured Itachi had just sold out when he made all those direct to video sequels. “So he got them to drop me. Whatever. It’s not like that deal hurt his career.”
“Well, who do you think killed the story when you got arrested?”
“Those charges were dropped!”
“That’s not all.”
“I suppose he buried the settlement, too? And the emancipation?” Of course he had. Naruto didn’t have to say anything to confirm it.
“We’ve been fighting to keep your shows off of streaming for years,” Naruto went on.
“We?”
“Ninja High was my show, too, remember? I did what I could, but eventually, the network won.”
Sasuke didn’t know what to think. His life was still out of his control, with Itachi pulling the strings behind his back. But if it weren’t for Itachi, he wouldn’t have gone unnoticed for this long.
And then, there was Naruto.
“If you fought so long to keep me hidden,” Sasuke said, “then why the hell are you talking about me now?”
“I said one thing! One. Do you know how often I get asked about you? About our show?”
“You never could keep your big mouth shut.”
“I kept it shut for years! They caught me in a moment of weakness, okay? People kept posting clips so I watched a couple episodes of the show and you were so good and it brought back so many memories and I fucked up.” The words tumbled out in a rush, loud and barely intelligible were it not for the fact that Sasuke still spoke fluent Naruto. “I didn’t say half the things I wanted to. Do you have any idea how hard it is, acting like you don’t exist?”
Sasuke knew, but he said nothing.
“I miss you like crazy. I know it’s stupid, because we’ve barely talked and you have this whole exciting, fulfilling private life now, but I still care about you and I’m sick of pretending like I don’t.”
“You still send me e-cards on my birthday. For an actor, you suck at pretending.”
“I knew you checked that email!”
“Who uses e-cards anymore?”
“If I had your address, I wouldn’t have to!”
Sasuke’s eyes were getting heavy. He was too tired and too drunk for this. Hanging up would be the best course of action, because the longer he stayed on this call, the harder it was to remember why he stopped talking to Naruto.
“I’m sorry you’re getting recognized, Sasuke. Really. I shouldn’t have mentioned you. Itachi was mad at me, too.”
The idea of Itachi and Naruto talking about him behind his back stung.
“But people found the show on their own. You were so good,” Naruto said again. “People make these fan edits that go so hard, like one second we’re fighting and the next we look like we’re gonna eat each other’s face! And don’t even get me started on the fanart of us. It puts a whole new perspective on the show.”
“Stop saying us! Those were just characters we played. I shouldn’t have to explain this to you.” Sasuke wasn’t going to think about perverted fanart. He definitely wasn’t going to look for it. Probably.
“I know that! But you of all people should know I was a little method about that role.”
“Do you even know what method means?”
“Not really,” Naruto laughed. “But maybe I was projecting just a little. And by that last season, the writers, y’know, picked up on some things.”
“Stop.”
“I’m just saying!”
“I’m going to hang up.”
“Please don’t!” Suddenly, Naruto sounded desperate. “I have a flight in three hours but I don’t want to stop talking to you now that I…ugh, never mind.”
“Now that you what?” Sasuke asked against his better judgment. Naruto didn’t have him back. He never had Sasuke to begin with.
“Now that I finally have a chance to tell you stuff.”
Sasuke wasn’t sure he wanted to hear that stuff, especially not over the phone. Not that he wanted to see Naruto, either. Not much.
“Something you forgot to say in two years of voicemails?”
“You listened to them?” Naruto sounded shocked. “I figured you just deleted them as they came.”
Well, he did have to delete some to make room for new ones.
“I’m not gonna tell you to come back to acting, or to call your brother. Just, please, don’t shut me out. I feel like, if we hang up—when we hang up—you’ll disappear again.”
“I can’t,” Sasuke muttered. “You made sure of that.”
“I’ll fix it! I don’t know how, but I’ll figure something out. Maybe Itachi—”
“No.” Sasuke didn’t want Itachi bailing him out again. And Naruto was right. Maybe his comments had thrown fuel on the fire but this wasn’t his fault, either.
Maybe Sasuke would feel differently when he sobered up and got some sleep, but the idea of not talking to Naruto felt wrong. It hurt, almost like that ache had never really gone away. He’d gotten so good at suppressing it, but now that the dam had broken, there was no way to shove the rushing water back in.
“My life isn’t that fulfilling,” Sasuke admitted.
“Is something missing?” Naruto asked. “Maybe someone?”
“Don’t push it.” But Sasuke was trying not to smile. “And don’t sound so excited that my life sucks.”
“I’m not! I want your life to be awesome, not sucky. What have you been doing? Man, I don’t even know. How crazy is that?”
“Why do you care?”
“Can’t a guy miss his friend?”
“We aren’t friends.” Maybe Sasuke would have grudgingly accepted the label at one point, but even back then, they only spent time together for work.
“Friendship transcends time and space! I bet if we hung out now, it’d be just like old times.”
“Still can’t find anyone to run lines with you?”
“I only asked you to because that was the only way you’d hang out with me.”
Maybe it was just like old times, because the insults came right back to Sasuke. “I only agreed because you were so bad you were dragging the rest of us down.”
“Come on, no I wasn’t! I was a promising young actor!”
“You were the worst on the show.”
“Bullshit!” Naruto cried. “Sure I was a little green, but some of us didn’t have rich parents and a superstar brother to rehearse with!”
“I didn’t practice kissing Itachi!” Sasuke regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. Putting what happened between him and Naruto into words was a line he never wanted to cross, but he couldn’t stop himself.
Naruto laughed, so heartily it did things to Sasuke’s stomach (although maybe that was the liquor; his tolerance wasn’t what it used to be). “Come on, dude, why do you think I asked you to do that?”
The truth was, Sasuke tried very hard not to think about it. “Because you were such a loser that you couldn’t find anyone else to kiss you?”
“Man, all that time alone really did a number on you.” Naruto was still laughing. “Use your brain, stupid.”
“I’m hanging up.”
“Don’t! Please don’t. I’m sorry I called you stupid!”
Another apology? Maybe Naruto had grown up some after all. Sasuke didn’t like the idea that Naruto was more mature than him.
“I thought it was obvious,” Naruto muttered. “Why I asked you to do that stuff. I mean, not at the time, but like, now. In retrospect.”
“That’s a big word for you,” Sasuke said, but there was no fire behind it. Just fear. He should have hung up long before they’d headed down this path. He shouldn’t have reached out at all, because this was ridiculous. Talking about teenage feelings and shit as a full grown man, as if it still mattered. It didn’t even matter back then.
“I saw that picture of you at the store,” Naruto said, side-stepping the half-assed insult. He let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a hmph. “How the hell’d you get even hotter?”
“Naruto,” Sasuke warned him.
“I know, I shouldn’t have looked, and I’m sorry for that too, but damn.”
Sasuke was used to people talking about the way he looked, but this was Naruto. It made his heart pound, and he was suddenly very aware of just how hot his phone was getting against his ear. Rage and regret and bile swirled in Sasuke’s gut. If he didn’t hang up now, he was going to say something he couldn’t take back.
He ended the call and dropped his phone like it was on fire. It was a mistake: hanging up, talking to Naruto, leaving, acting in the first place. All of it.
Instantly, his phone was buzzing again, but Sasuke couldn’t face Naruto again. He needed sleep. Maybe he’d finally change his number, or ditch the phone altogether. Why did he need a phone if he was never going to leave the house again?
Sasuke left his phone buzzing on the floor and went to bed.
If he slept, it was in fitful bursts, and he woke up feeling unrested and disgusting. Maybe he needed to make an appearance like this, with drymouth, bags under his eyes, and stringy hair sticking up at all angles. Would that make people finally leave him alone?
But he had too much pride (and vanity) for that, even as a hermit. He didn’t check his phone or even make himself coffee, but he did take a shower in a desperate attempt to scrub off the night before.
So what if he had been a little dramatic. Wasn’t this a justifiable reaction to finding out his brother was still meddling in his life? Finding out Naruto, the closest thing he’d ever had to a friend, was in on it, too?
Sasuke dried his hair and used the blow dryer to clear a spot on the bathroom mirror. Even hotter, Naruto had said. Implying he had found Sasuke hot back then.
Despite the whole “boy next door” thing Naruto had going on, he’d always been jealous of Sasuke’s looks. At least, that was how he’d hedged it.
The way he’d spoken last night (because despite the hangover, Sasuke remembered every word), Naruto sounded like he had already worked through all his unresolved crap and come to terms with everything between them. As if it could be that easy. Just like how Naruto could throw out things like I’m sorry and I miss you like it was nothing.
Then again, Naruto still felt some kind of way about a guy he hadn’t seen in years, so maybe he wasn’t that far ahead of Sasuke.
But why couldn’t Naruto be emotionally stunted the proper way, like an Uchiha?
Although, if Sasuke had been raised to talk about his feelings instead of bottling them up (or secretly cutting legal strings and silencing the press, what the fuck, Itachi), maybe he wouldn’t have had to go into hiding. He could have had a normal Where Are They Now? update about how he had quit acting to become an engineer but still met Naruto and Sakura for coffee or something.
Maybe he wouldn’t have repressed himself so damn hard whenever Naruto wanted to wrestle and kiss him. Maybe he wouldn’t have treated friend like a dirty word.
Maybe Sasuke would be in control of his own destiny.
He dressed and made his way to the kitchen, almost stepping on his phone on the way. He had a dozen missed calls, several texts, and a voicemail, all from Naruto.
His headache had traveled from his skull to his eyes, throbbing behind them and obscuring his vision with twinkling bands of lights. Pocketing his phone, Sasuke made his coffee with deliberate motions, focusing on every step of the process. While it was brewing, he downed a tall glass of water in three long gulps.
Once he had a few sips of coffee in him, he was ready to open his messages.
please
sasuke
don’t shut me out again
do i have to spell it out for you
because i will
i just don’t wanna do it on a fucking text message
or a voicemail
or over the phone at all
don’t make me ask your brother where you live
you know he knows
He probably did.
If Sasuke called now, Naruto would answer, even if he was still on the plane to wherever he was going. But maybe Naruto was right about this, too. They couldn’t have this discussion over the phone. Sasuke wasn’t sure he could have it at all, but now he had a valid reason to avoid a phone call.
Besides, he had a more immediate problem to solve. Sasuke couldn’t go out in public without getting recognized. His carefully constructed life felt out of control, but it was only because of Itachi and Naruto that he’d been able to fly under the radar for so long.
It was time to take fate into his own hands. Maybe he'd regret it later, but it couldn’t be any worse than the regrets he had now.
Sasuke found the video he watched last night, the one about him, and sent his first ever DM.
You want me on your podcast? Fine. Let’s talk.