Chapter Text
Tim sits on the edge of the roof, staring off into the sea of nothingness that is the night sky in Gotham. There’s something calming to him, sitting in the night air silently, no one knowing that he’s there.
He hasn’t seen his parents in months. He thinks they might be in Guatemala right now - or maybe it’s Chile. He can’t keep track anymore, not with their calls getting shorter and shorter, and farther and farther in between. Only a couple weeks ago was when he spent his 12th birthday out in this same Gotham air, silently chasing after his heroes for the sake of getting a good photo or two. He isn’t sure anymore whether he would have preferred his parents to be home instead. He isn’t sure about anything anymore.
He’d left his camera at home tonight. With the plans he has, there’s no point in it being here. He’d already hidden the photos somewhere no one else would ever find them because he still wanted his heroes to continue even after he…
He isn’t sure why he’s still sitting here. It would have been easier if he had just gotten it over with right away, he should just stop thinking. Thinking too much has always been a problem for him and tonight is supposed to be when all his problems go away. Permanently.
It wasn’t like he woke up this morning and knew this is where he’d end up at the end of the night. The idea had been creeping up on him for a while, and he’d come close to the edges of roofs too many times to count in the last few months. But the camera, his camera… he couldn’t ever go through with it, taking it out along with him. He knew no one else would care, but it’d almost be like taking a friend’s hand before forcibly taking the leap and pulling them along with him. He didn’t have many friends. So it only makes sense that he eventually saw the camera with the same amount of care as he would a friend.
But tonight, the camera isn’t here. It would just be him, it would just be Timothy Jackson Drake they find the next morning. There wouldn’t be any shattered plastic and glass around him, at least not from the camera. The camera isn’t here, he should just take the leap.
“Go Tim,” he whispers to himself. “Move, c’mon, it’s not like it will hurt anyone. Go now before someone sees you.”
But something keeps him sitting on the roof, frozen and terrified. If he chickens out tonight, what does that say for how it will be in the future? He just wants the ache to be gone, he just wants to leave the world that doesn’t want him. Wants to leave behind the lonely Drake Manor, the place that had begun to sting his heart with each empty echo, its hallways filled with reminders of his parents and the times they spent away from here, away from Tim.
Tears sting at the corners of his eyes and he wishes he could just will them away. But he’s closer to the edge of the roof than he’s ever been and no one’s stopping him. He’s not going to be here for much longer and he wishes he could have been someone people would stick around for.
The tears drip down onto his hoodie and he begins to sniffle until he hears the quiet landing of boots behind him. He stiffens up and tries to stifle his tears when he realizes who it must be. He knows the only reason he could hear the landing was so that he wouldn’t startle at the presence of someone else on the roof with him.
He’s silent when he senses Batman sit down next to him. This wasn’t part of the plan, he was supposed to have gotten it done before anyone saw him. But he can’t bring himself to be angry, because Batman saw him.
“It’s good weather out tonight,” Batman says in his low voice, pausing in the same way Tim does when he gets uncomfortable. “This is a nice view, even though it’s a little bit higher off the ground than most people go.”
Tim doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t know what to say in response, he hadn’t planned on talking to anyone tonight. He doesn’t know how to talk to anyone in the right way, he doesn’t know how to talk in a way that wouldn’t make Batman immediately regret sitting by him. He always messes that up with his parents, surely Mr. Way- Batman he reminds himself to keep himself thinking in a way that preserves the secret of his heroes, surely Batman wouldn’t be that much different.
As Tim remains silent and tries to hold back his tears, Batman pulls out a little sucker out of his belt and awkwardly offers it to Tim without saying a word. In his surprise at the unexpected offer, Tim lets out a surprised and shaky laugh at the absurdity of it. He takes the sucker though, unsure of what else to do as he shakily unwraps it and sticks it in his mouth. He can’t remember the last time he had a sucker, his mother always tells him that there isn’t any point in keeping candy in the manor. Tim tastes the artificial cherry flavor fill his tastebuds though and feels himself unable to hold back his tears anymore after Batman gives him that little gift.
As Tim feels himself begin to shake with his tears again, he can feel the panic in the air as Batman falters. Tim slumps with the emotion surrounding him, certain he’s messed everything up and that Batman will leave him here alone and not even try to save him. He’s not sure he wants to be saved but… it’d be nice to have someone care enough to try to help him.
He twitches a bit as he feels a hand hesitantly placed on the shoulder opposite of where Batman sits next to him, but then he almost immediately leans into Batman’s warmth next to him, allowing the arm to come around him fully. He’s not sure when he was last hugged, his parents aren’t inclined to touch him much even when they are home. Tim tears up even more as he presses against Batman and he turns his face and buries it into the side of the man as he begins to sob.
Batman’s cape surrounds him before he even realizes it’s being moved and Tim can’t help himself as he scoots even closer to Batman. Tim didn’t realize how much he wanted this before tonight. He’s grateful Batman is giving him this affection before he goes, he thinks this might have been what he’s been wanting all along, what’s been stopping him. Selfishly, he wants someone to remember him and hold him, even if it’s just for a little while.
Batman clears his throat and quietly asks, “What are you doing up here kiddo? It’s late, I’m sure your parents are worried sick.”
Tim’s heart sinks. This is when Batman will realize that Tim was making the right choice, this is when Batman will leave him sitting here. If Tim’s own parents don’t want him, why would Batman care about his life?
“They’re not here,” Tim whispers, not able to give a real explanation, wishing Batman would just let him have this last moment be peaceful.
Instead, Batman quietly asks, “Where are they kiddo?”
Tim just shrugs and quietly says, “Not in Gotham. Probably not even in the country. They’ve got… important work to do.”
Tim feels the weight of the silence after that fill him with dread. Soon enough, the man holding him will leave him and he’ll be left without the warmth of someone listening to him.
Instead, he hears Batman quietly say, “Why don’t we move this conversation somewhere closer to the ground? I… I bet you’re hungry, we could get some ice cream?”
Tim’s heart twists. He wishes he could go with Batman to get ice cream, but he needs to do this tonight. He isn’t sure he’ll have the courage to work up to this again. So he just shakes his head.
He feels Batman’s arm twitch and pull him in closer to his side and Tim realizes that Batman is holding him in a way that would make it impossible to take the leap.
“...please?” Tim hears Batman ask and is shocked at the softening of his tone of voice. He feels Batman glance down at him and latch onto a little Robin pin on Tim’s bag. Batman clears his throat and says gently, “Robin will meet us there if we go.”
Tim leans back into him and whispers, “Will he know where you met me?”
Batman hesitates and then he gently says, “He… he has already been listening to this conversation.”
Tim slumps, but he quietly says, “Okay. I… we can go.”
He can feel the tension leave Batman’s body and then Batman quietly asks, “Can I pick you up? So I can get you down safely.”
Tim nods and presses his face into Batman’s chest, tears running down as he feels Batman stand up and walk away from the edge.