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Gus headed back into the station, grumbling. He and Shawn had gotten most of the way to the taco truck before Shawn remembered that he had left Gus’s wallet by the vending machine. Which was also when he had remembered to tell Gus he had taken his wallet to buy “the good pretzels.”
Crouching to fish his wallet out of the crack between the machine and the wall, he could hear Juliet and Lassiter whispering at the water cooler. Or he was pretty sure they thought they were whispering.
“I’m sorry. Are you expecting me to think that Spencer is ‘acting weird’ because he was making fun of me?”
Juliet made a quick ‘quiet down,’ gesture to Lassiter. “No, it’s more…I’m wondering if he was only making fun of you.”
“It’s Shawn we’re talking about. He was probably making fun of you.” They both started slightly at Gus’s voice.
“See, I told you to be quiet.”
“I could hear both of you,” Gus looked unimpressed. “Anyway, I think I would notice if Shawn was acting weirder than he usually does.” He furrowed his brow.
Lassiter nodded. “Exactly. I think Guster would know.”
Juliet still looked concerned. “It just feels like there was something about the way he said it.”
“The way he said what, Juliet?”
***
“Jules? How about it?”
Shawn was leaning in the hall and definitely not trying to overhear anything in the station and definitely not feeling left out at all.
Juliet sidled up to him. Was that a thing she did? Did Juliet sidle? Maybe it was more of a slink. A saunter?
Jules was pretty, and nice, and mean, but in that way that was nice because they were both having fun. And she'd taught him to krump with an enthusiasm that rivaled his for spikey tropical fruit. Or the works of John Hughes. Enthusiastic and also a little scary. Layers. The woman had layers. Like a birthday cake. If a birthday cake was actually a blonde detective who laughed at his jokes.
At least, most of the time she did. When he offered her the hug, she had a moment of shock before she left, shaking her head. That left two possibilities: either she didn’t think he was funny or she thought he was serious and just really didn’t want to hug him. He wasn’t sure which was worse.
“Hey, Shawn?”
“Jules! Hey. What’s up?”
She was grinning. Her eyes sparkled like she knew a secret she desperately wanted to tell.
“You look happy.”
“Oh, it’s nothing. I was just wondering,” she leaned a little closer. “Did you ever get that hug from Lassiter?”
That kind of hurt. Not that she could have known that. Or that there was any reason for it to. But she hadn’t even cracked a smile at the time. And now she was next to him looking adorably pleased with herself and it was at his expense. Ouch.
But hey, since when could he not take a joke?
“You know, Jules? I just don’t think he’s that into me. Can’t imagine why. I’m clearly so huggable.” He flashed a grin. Because it was a joke.
For a moment she looked almost sad. He really wished he could pretend he’d imagined it.
“You know it was a joke, right? I wasn’t actually expecting him to hug me,” Shawn clarified quickly. “I was expecting him to threaten to shoot me.”
“Of course,” she nodded seriously.
“Oh, so I guess it really did fall pretty flat then. Couldn’t get a threat of severe bodily injury out of Lassiter, couldn’t get a laugh out of you. Don’t be too worried, I’m sure I’ll be back in proper form soon.”
She chuckled. “So you were kidding when you asked me, too?”
Oh. This was hell. He had died and gone to hell and now he had to answer devil questions for eternity. That wasn’t only not an over dramatic conclusion it was the only reasonable one to come to.
“C’mon, Jules, you know me.”
“Right.” She smirked a little. “So what if I’d taken you up on it?”
Was double hell a thing? He’d have to ask Father Westly if that was something they’d covered in Sunday school after he’d been invited to leave.
“If you’d wanted me to hug you?”
“Yep.” She swung her arms a little. “What would have happened if I had said-” She took a deep breath and pitched her voice higher. “‘Oh, Shawn, of course I’ll hug you. Who could ever say no hugging you?’” Shawn Spencer as one Juliet O’Hara, out of the woman herself.
And just like that, he was actually laughing. “Well, I guess I’d have to say—” What would Juliet O’Hara as Shawn Spencer be like? He pitched his voice lower. “‘That sounds great, Jules. You’re totally right. I do give the best hugs in Santa Barbara. Maybe even the world.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that. I wouldn’t want to be disappointed,” she giggled. Then, she held out her arms.
“And…scene.” Shawn took a mock bow.
Juliet didn’t. She stood there with her arms out, watching him expectantly.
“Jules,” he hissed, Shawn Spencer as…Shawn Spencer. “I don’t think I know my next line.”
That time, that time he got a laugh. There was an eyeroll too, but that was just fine.
“Shawn, this is the part where you hug me.”
When Shawn didn’t move, she stepped in and carefully wrapped her arms around him. He was very glad she couldn’t see his face. He had a psychic charade to keep up and that kind of shock wouldn’t have been good for the image.
“Shawn.”
“Yeah, Jules?”
“I really feel like I’m carrying this scene here.”
Right. He just had to find his arms.
And then remember how to move them.
“Well, I wouldn't want us to get any negative reviews.”
He hugged her back and she actually squeezed him and okay, fine, maybe this wasn’t hell.
“You know, Jules, if you wanted a hug you just had to ask.”
She laughed quietly. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
***
“The good news, I’m available for hugs.”
Now he was reading the bulletin board on his way out of the station and not only was Lassiter there, Lassiter’s hand was… hovering. That was deeply weird. In a different way than Lassiter’s usual weird.
Lassiter was strong and competent and blustery and had the bluest eyes that Shawn had ever seen. And sometimes, if Shawn pushed him just enough, he'd be menacing in a way that Shawn could only call exciting. They weren't having fun the way he did bantering with Juliet. But it was its own kind of fun. A game they were playing even if neither of them quite knew the rules.
Shawn wasn't sure if Lassiter knew they were friends. But they were.
And sometimes Lassiter would play along with Shawn's antics or laugh at Shawn’s jokes. And sometimes when you were nice to him he would get that little twitch of a smile. Sometimes he would do something cute like sneak a carrot to a horse when he thought no one was looking. Because it was cute.
That didn't change that Shawn was going to use that to tease him. Because Lassiter was fun to tease.
Which was also exactly what Shawn had been doing when he'd asked him for a hug. Which left some questions about the feeling of disappointment in his gut when Lassiter had rolled his eyes and stalked off. Questions he could save for later. Much later. Possibly never. Because really, if he’d wanted to hug Lassiter he would have. He touched Lassiter plenty. He’d thrown himself into the man’s lap for god’s sake. If he wanted to punctuate the joke by actually hugging him he would have.
And Lassiter grabbed Shawn whenever he felt like it. He didn’t just stand there with his arm hovering a couple of inches from Shawn’s back.
”You need something, Lassie?” Lassiter jumped away. That was also weird. “I’ll take that as a no.”
Shawn turned around hurriedly and walked a few steps directly into Lassiter’s arm. Apparently what he had wanted was to clothesline him. Or it would have been a clothesline if Lassiter had moved. And wasn’t just standing there with his arm shoved against Shawn’s chest.
It wasn’t gentle exactly, just kind of soft and actually probably wasn’t trying to knock Shawn over. Weird didn’t even come close anymore. “Are you trying to stop me from leaving? I did always think you’d acquire the taste-” Lassiter squeezed his upper arm. Not painfully. That would have made too much sense. This was more… encouraging? Comforting? It was almost… “Did you just… hug me?”
“No.” The arm didn’t move.
“So you’re… what? Checking just that arm for stolen goods?”
“I don’t have to explain myself to you, Spencer.” He was sputtering but some of the bite was missing.
It might have been disappointing from someone else. But from Lassiter, Lassiter who for some reason that Shawn couldn’t quite pick apart still had his arm around his shoulder and still wasn’t threatening him even after being accused of expressing physical affection for him… That was downright sweet.
Shawn sighed. “You sure don’t.”
“Right. Well then.” Lassiter squeezed again and finally moved his arm. “Go home.”
Shawn laughed and patted Lassiter’s shoulder. “I mean if you’re sure. See you tomorrow, Lassifrass.”
Lassiter sighed. There was an air of drama to it. “I’m sure I will.”
See, might as well have said he actually liked him.
***
“Buddy, it’s been a while?’’
Well, now it was pretty hard for Shawn to not be thinking about hugs. That should have been fine. But a lot of things hadn’t been going how they should have been.
Gus should have been easy. They were best friends. Best friends were definitely allowed to hug. And they used to hug all the time. Sure, it was a little more awkward to ask another man for a hug when you weren’t both ten.
But this wasn’t another man. This was Gus.
Okay, that didn’t come out quite right. The point was that he wasn’t supposed to have to explain himself.
And Gus wasn’t supposed to look at him like that. Like there wasn’t a way Shawn was serious. And he wasn’t supposed to scoff like it wouldn’t matter if he was. And he definitely wasn’t supposed to walk away like Jules and Lassie and leave Shawn standing there with his arms out like an idiot. Gus was supposed to be able to read his mind.
All that being said, Gus also wasn’t supposed to pull him into a hug as soon as he walked in the door of the Psych office. But he did. Shawn ignored the stab of awkwardness and hugged back. Because he wanted to and because maybe Gus actually could read his mind. And it wasn’t awkward at all anymore. It was exactly the kind of hug you would give your best friend when you were ten. And even if they weren’t anymore, that was exactly what it was supposed to be.
Shawn wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that before they finally broke apart. He looked away. "Kindofneededthat."
For a moment he thought Gus might pretend he hadn’t heard. Let him save face a little. Until Gus got that particular self-satisfied smile on his face. The one he got when he’d won. “Right. I…got that.” It was Gus’s turn to look away. “I know it was a little late. You know you could just ask.”
“I did. And you said, ‘Please.’” Shawn did his best impersonation of Gus’s annoyed scoff. “Like you couldn’t imagine I might be serious.”
“I didn’t think you were. You offered to hug Lassiter. Of course I thought it was some kind of joke at first.”
“Gus, I don’t think I could ever be entirely joking about wanting to hug you.”
Gus patted his shoulder. “Yeah. I know. I’m sorry. At least we figured it out eventually.”
“Wait. What do you mean, ‘we?’ Have you been conspiring against me?!” Shawn gasped. “Oh my god! You’re a conspirer! With Jules and Lassie?”
“Really, we were conspiring for you.”
“I’ve heard it both ways.”
Gus rolled his eyes. “You know what? Yeah. I’ll let you have it this time.”
“Thanks, man.” Shawn sank into the couch.
Gus sat at his computer. “Anytime.” He cleared his throat. “About the hugs. Agreeing that you’ve heard it both ways is a one time deal.”