Chapter Text
September, 201M2015
I feel like shit.
The air is so poisonous in here that it’s hard to feel anything else, especially after coming down from whatever he gave me this time.
I’m covered in a cold sweat. My tank top is drenched, clinging to my scales. It’s too hot, or too cold.
I can hardly open my eyes. It’s like I have to deadlift my eyelids to get any farther than a squint.
I take a breath – or at least try to – and start hacking up all of the acid and bile in my throat. Each cough lights another fire in my esophagus, flaring up hotter and hotter until I can finally make the coughing subside.
I need water. Something. But I can hardly move out of bed, or the couch – it’s slightly damp and soft, wherever I am.
It’s moments like these where I wonder how I got to be here. They don’t last long. Usually, Brett’s given me something else before I really have to think about it, and then I’m off to some place much better than this apartment. At least, that’s how it should go. This last trip didn’t follow that plan.
At least I serve a purpose here. I help. I’m worth something. If it wasn’t for him, I’d be on the streets.
Dead, probably.
I’m not good for much, but if I can do what he wants, he won’t throw me away.
He won’t throw me away.
Footsteps move closer to me. My eyes won’t open, but I know it’s him. No one else would be here. His gruff voice churns up the heavy air like a hammer.
“Hey, you up?”
“Mkinda.” I croak.
“How was it?”
“Bad,” I mutter, but I know he needs more information than that. “Uh, chest pain. My heart was beating really fast. High didn’t last long. Too many side effects.”
“You were seizing a little bit, too.” He grabs my arm roughly, twisting it in a familiar way to face the crook of my elbow towards him. “I’ve got it figured out this time. Let’s see what it does.”
I manage to open my eyes enough to see him get a band around my arm. The bright red allosaur is already prepping another needle. The room is dark, as usual. I can never tell what time it is here.
“Hey– can I– I need some water, or something. Little break.”
“Quit bitching.” Brett lines up the needle. It breaks through my scales with ease. There’s not much underneath for it to hit aside from the vein; that’s all that matters, anyway. “You’re fine, baby.”
Some initial warmth spreads through at the point of contact, but fades quickly. The feeling before it all hits used to be something I looked forward to. Now I just want it to happen already. Luckily, a haze of drowsiness quickly washes over me. Everything slows down. The musty mattress seems to sink under me. A groan escapes my lungs as Brett’s already tall form stretches up into infinity. His hands elongate, reaching for my face. He jerks my snout to the side, looking into my eyes, waiting for the reaction to kick in fully.
My vision tunnels into a dark void as he stares at me, and dull pastel greens, yellows, and blues begin to pour through the tiny pinprick of light at the end. Bliss starts to flood into my head, churning my synapses into thick tar.
It’s pretty. And different.
The bed is gone now. I’m floating.
I like it here.
I take a relaxed breath in, letting the air flow evenly into my lungs. The sting isn’t as bad.
I let the air out, and something hitches in my chest.
A hammer smashes my fragile heart. Each beat hits harder and faster than the last. The colors flash at me faster in the darkness. They’re angry now. I can’t see past them into the light. I can’t control my arms or legs. They flex and shake faster than I can think about stopping them.
I can’t breathe.
“Shit!” A voice echoes angrily in my head. “I fucking had it!”
I’m sorry.
“This would’ve worked if you weren’t a carfe’d out whore!”
Some glass shatters, sending sharp, high-pitched notes through my skull.
“What fucking good are you, huh? Give me a reason why I shouldn’t throw your useless ass out!”
I can’t answer. I can’t do anything. It won’t stop.
The right side of my face starts to sting, suddenly. A prickling tingle spreads from it. Then it happens again, and again, and again. My ears start ringing.
Loud, dull thuds echo in my head. The stinging stops.
Voices come to me. I’m not sure if they’re real or not.
“... it down! You’ve got neighbors around he– what the hell is that smell?”
“... fuckin’ nose out of my business!”
I think the door slams closed. The loud clap hits sharply in my head as I try to stay alive. I still need air. My body won’t stop shaking.
A hand clamps around my throat, cutting off what little air I was getting.
“See what you fucking did, Nicole!?”
The only sound I can make is a choked gasp.
“You’re good for two fucking things to me! I can find someone else. You want me to throw you out?”
“N– no.” I manage to choke out.
“Then prove it!”
My throat opens up again, and air begins to trickle back into my seizing lungs.
The lights fade. So does the sound, and any feeling at all.
***
“Get down!”
My fucking head.
“Hands on your head!”
The rancid smell of bile and a few other mixed bodily fluids hits me before I can process anything more. I try to blink away the grogginess as chaos erupts somewhere else in the apartment.
I’m on the shower floor. I can hardly move, using my aching muscles, or what’s left of them, to pull my legs to my chest. I start to shiver.
How long was I out this time?
Something slams against the bathroom door. I can see it flex through the hair over my eyes. Muddled shadows play with the light filtering through the cracks of the doorframe.
“Get him up and out of here.” Someone orders.
Wait, they got Brett.
Wait.
I can’t move like I want to. Scuffling feet move away from the door.
“We’re done here!” The same voice barks. “Den is a goddamn hazard. Cleanup crew is inbound.”
Several sets of boots march out, and a door slams shut. Everything is quiet now.
“Wait.”
The word comes out as nothing more than a raspy whisper.
I reach up for the shower door, but my arms won’t move. They stay clinging to me.
I’m so fucking cold.
I ruined everything.
Maybe I’ll just die here. What use do I have now, anyway?
Everything is cold and wet. It hurts.
I need something. Maybe there’s still some left in Brett’s stash. If I can just make it there…
My arms still won’t do what I tell them to do.
I can make it. I’ll just give it some time.
Just breathe, Nicole. It’ll all fade away eventually, and then you’ll get what you need.
Just breathe.
***
The door opens again, waking me from some kind of trance, or wherever I was.
How long has it been?
I still can’t stop shaking.
“Raptor Christ,” a deep voice gasps in disgust. “The fuck was he cooking in here?”
“Bad shit,” a higher voice deduces. “This has gotta be a complete renovation if we want someone in here again.”
“That’s not what we’re worried about,” a third, slightly nasally voice observes. “We take care of the bad product and dispose of it. Check everywhere and anywhere. He probably had a few different stashes.”
They’re here to take it all. They’re searching everywhere. I can hear it.
Light suddenly floods through the bathroom door. I can’t make out the person in the doorway, but they’re big. It’s only now that I realize I can only see through my left eye. My right is forced to a squint as it has its own heartbeat.
“Holy shit.” They turn back the other way. “Hey, Park, they left someone here!”
“What? There was only one reported suspect.”
“Don’t think she’s a suspect. She’s in a bad way. Thought she was dead at first.”
Another shape comes into the doorway.
“Oh, god.” The shape says.
The voices stay silent for a moment.
“Get her out of there. I need to make a call.”
The larger shape slowly moves towards me as the smaller one disappears.
My dead heart jump-starts back to life, quickening my raspy breaths as the shape opens the shower door. It hurts to be panicked.
“D-don’t.” I gasp out.
A dark green triceratops raises his hands. “Hey, uh, not gonna do anything. Gonna get you out, alright?”
My vision starts to pulse and tunnel out again as he gets closer. I can’t breathe again. “No… “
My heart can’t keep up anymore.
***
“... at Saint Hammond’s. She’ll be a senior.”
“And she’s got no record?”
“Misdemeanor theft, but that’s it. That was a few months ago. Then she just disappeared. Parents never filed a report.”
“Disappeared here, ya mean.”
“She could have been lots of places before she ended up here, but she’s the only one who can answer that.”
Light creeps in through the windows. I squint around the cramped bedroom, seeing it thoroughly picked through. It’s hard to tell, but the shelves by the desk have been ransacked. The only untouched place is the bed, which I’m lying on. The sheets are stained and half-torn like they always are, but I still cling to them. I think I’m in fresher clothes, but it’s hard to tell. I can’t remember what I was wearing, if anything, when–
That’s right. They took Brett. Someone found me.
And they helped me? What do they want from me?
I start to shiver more. I can’t fight it now that I’m conscious again. The thin blanket on top of me isn’t enough, but I try to pull it closer to me all the same. I let out a shuddering breath, triggering another hacking cough.
Fuck. They’re going to hear that.
I glance to the right, towards the bedroom door as it creaks open.
I must have died, or this is all just one bad trip, because that can’t be Dino Moe standing in the doorway. I’ve seen him maybe one time before, when me and…
Why is my brain deciding to put him here? The light brown T-rex stands with a blue button-up shirt, brown pants, and a flat cap on his head. His mustache bristles as he squints at me. A slight frown replaces the big, toothy grin from my foggy memory.
“Nicole Balor? That’s your name, aint it?”
I stare at him with my good eye. What the fuck is going on?
“Ay,” He waves a claw at me. “Dis is real. No one’s here ta hurt’cha anymore. We found your ID lyin’ around here. Nicole?”
“Y-yeah.” I croak, throat burning with a single word.
He turns his head back toward the door, letting out a low shout. “Someone grab some water!”
A few footsteps shuffle around outside. A tan raptor in jeans and a simple black hoodie slides in with a plastic bottle, gives me a quick glance, then leaves.
Dino Moe holds the bottle out to me, and after a few hesitant seconds, I sit up to take it, which takes a shameful amount of strain and effort. My heart rate climbs rapidly, throwing a few more searing coughs from my chest. The T-rex reaches for my shoulder.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” I mutter.
He leans back, raising his claw, then offers the bottle again. I take it, struggling to get the cap off for a few seconds. I lift the bottle and let a small amount swish around in my mouth before slowly swallowing it down.
“Don’t try ta chug it.”
“Not my first bad trip.”
“This was just a bad trip?” The oldie’s eyebrows raise as I sip down more water.
“You’re Dino Moe, right? Who the hell are you?”
“Ya said it. I’m Dino Moe.”
“And what do you want from me?”
“Depends more on what you want.” He points a claw at me. “Way I see it, ya got two choices ta pick from. When we leave, VCPD‘ll show up. If you’re here when they are, you’ll be in tha system, or on the streets again. With how bad ya look right now, ya ain’t gonna make it much longer either way.”
“My other choice?”
“Ya can come with us.”
“Wha– ?” The quick answer sends me into another hacking fit. He continues once I recover.
“I want to help ya, Nicole. Give ya a second chance.” He chuckles a bit to himself. “Could say Dino Moe’s is one big family made of second chances. I can give ya a home, a bed, hot meals, a job, if ya want it. Whatever ya want – within reason, ‘course.”
I stare at him. “What’s the catch?”
The large dino gives me a slightly impressed, yet wary look. He’s about to ask me something insane, isn’t he?
“Ya come with us, ya gotta get clean from all that shit in your system. No carfe. None of tha hard stuff.”
A shiver runs down my spine.
It’s been too long. My head is already starting to haze without it.
If I don’t go with them, I can probably find someone else. Or, who knows when Brett will get out of whatever he’s been charged with? If he gets out… I ruined everything for him. What would he do to me?
Or I go with them.
“How do I know I can trust you?”
“Do ya trust me less than ya trust tha system out there?”
I look away. He already knows the answer.
“Nicole, I ain’t gonna make ya do anythin’ ya don’t wanna do. I just wanna help.”
I stare at him for a few seconds.
I think I can do it.
What if I can’t?
What if he comes back, and I’m not here?
It’s a second chance. They would protect me if he…
The thought alone sends my heart on a sprint again, overworked as it is. I lose my grip on the bottle. It thumps on the ground. My arm starts spasming, and I lose control of my body.
“Ay, Nicole.” Moe gives me a worried look, lurching forward as I fall back on the bed. “Nicole?”
I start losing my vision. It tunnels out as I process what he says.
I can’t be alone again. I can be useful to someone. Something.
I choke out the words as I fully seize up, the blackness overtaking me as I answer him.
“I’ll– I’ll go.”