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“Phineas, do you think we did the right thing?”
“Dunno.” A hand came to rest on her stomach. “How does it feel?”
“Empty. Like something’s missing.” Isabella shifted position in the backseat of the car, wriggling out from under his hand before scooting away from him. She sat up, leaning against the driver’s side door. “I had a dream about her last night. She—“
“It.”
“What?”
A tear trickled down the red head’s cheek. “We can’t call it her anymore Isabella. Not after—“ he choked up and she reached a hand up to his face, only to have him smack it away. “Don’t.”
“Phin—“
“Why did you do it?”
“Why did I…?” She stared at him, mouth agape. When she spoke again, there was an edge to her voice. “I wasn’t the only one involved here; we made this decision together.”
“But you went through with it!” His voice cracked. “You could have said no Isabella; you could have said we made the wrong decision. You—“
“I didn’t want to carry a baby for nine months!” She clamped a hand over her mouth, looking down at the floorboard. A tear fell and she sniffed. “Maybe it wasn’t the right choice; maybe we…” she began to cry. “Maybe we made the wrong decision.”
“It’s a little late for that now, isn’t it? It’s over Isabella.”
She began to cry harder. “You didn’t even come to the clinic with me! I needed you Phineas! You said I could handle it on my own! Well guess what? I can’t! I dream about her every night!” Her voice softened. “She’s five years old, chasing butterflies in the front yard—“
“Stop.”
“Or she’s just learning to walk. And you’re helping her.” Isabella lifted sad eyes to the man in front of her. “I think that’s what hurts most of all; seeing you as a Father.” She reached out, touching his shoulder. “You would have made a great father Phineas.”
He stiffened at the touch, scooting away from her. “I wasn’t ready for the responsibility.”
“And you think I was?”
“Izzy—“
“Or the consequences this decision would bring? Did you ever think about that?”
“Isabella—“
“I was all alone Phin. In that cold room. Then the doctor came in. He gave me an epidural, told me what to expect. I thought I was ready; we’d talked about what it might be like, how it might feel. But when—“ her voice quavered and she choked down a sob. “But when he dilated me and started suctioning, I saw her. I saw her Phineas. This little being that you and I made. She had red hair just like yours. She was beautiful. And for one brief moment, she was alive. Then…she was gone. Our beautiful baby girl.” Isabella wiped her eyes on a shirtsleeve. “Because of the choice we made, our daughter is dead.”
He stared at her for a moment before bitterly shaking his head, turning his back to her, only to slowly glance over his shoulder at the sound of the car door opening. “Izzy?” He turned back around, eyes widening at the now empty seat. He paused for only a moment before scrambling over to the window, sticking his head outside. “Izzy, where are you going?”
She turned around, her expression barely readable in the moonlight. “Home.”
“But—“
“It’s over Phin. We made the wrong choice. It’s cost us everything, including this relationship.” She swallowed. “We can’t go back to the way things were.”
“But—“
Tears streamed down her face as she slowly began to walk away, only to turn around, casting him one last sorrowful look. “We should have never had an abortion.”