Chapter Text
Kayn stares up at his phone while in bed.
It’s the second time he’s considered texting Akali, even though the last text message he sent is still left on read and that was weeks ago. He doesn’t know who else to ask despite it being embarrassing and so fucking pathetic.
He has his bandmates, but Kayn needs someone outside of the band.
Akali is the only sound option, because the last person he needs advice from in regards to potentially falling in love with your fuck buddy is Zed.
He drops his phone onto the bed and rolls to his side, staring at the wall that once had Ezreal’s posters. It’s questionable if it’s a blessing or a curse that they’re no longer there, especially now. After they started sleeping together, Kayn took down the posters faster than he could run. Why stare at the posters when Ezreal lives with him – when he gets to watch Ezreal throw his head back with a breathy moan every time they have sex?
Kayn gets to see Ezreal in every way, shape and form. From two in the morning dye jobs when his blond begins to show to Ezreal naked beneath his sheets, flushed and eyes dazed.
There’s a stutter in his chest – a traitorous thudding of his heart.
He’s fucked.
Picking up his phone once more, the text thread he has with Akali mocks him. His thumbs hover over the screen before furiously typing out the first thing that comes to mind:
i think im in love with him
The bedroom door swings open and Kayn hides his phone like a teenager being caught watching porn at the ripe age of thirteen.
“What’cha looking at?” Ezreal is so smug, and he hates how attractive that is.
The door shuts behind him with a loud click, lock fixing into place.
Ezreal, unfortunately yet fortunately, bounds closer to the bed, “What are you hiding? Is it something so bad that Yone would pass out from looking at your search history?”
Momentarily, he forgets how attractive an annoyingly cocky Ezreal is by a shiver wracking up his spine, “Do not joke about Yone being able to access our search history.”
“You’re right,” Ezreal’s eyes shine, devious. “Phel’s the one looking at our search history.”
That’s even worse .
Kayn doesn’t want to think of how Aphelios could easily press a few buttons and tap into Kayn’s phone like it was his day job. The last thing he needs Aphelios to know is that Kayn texted Akali out of desperation because he has feelings .
So you’re feeling lovey dovey?
Rhaast’s words vibrate through his body and Kayn startles, forgetting his current situation. It isn’t the most ideal time for Rhaast to poke fun out of his startling realizations these past few weeks. As if there’s ever an ideal time for Rhaast’s musings, but right now, it’s the last thing he needs.
Ezreal comes closer and climbs onto the bed like some damn minx. It’s criminal that Ezreal is allowed to look that good while not even trying. Kayn tries to ignore it, but that’s impossible. The person he’s been fucking is now suddenly his goddamn place of worship; how could he ignore him?
Why don’t you tell him?
For obvious fucking reasons. Though Kayn cannot curse Rhaast out in this moment.
There were lines drawn in the sand when they first started fucking, and Kayn never thought he’d have issue with them. Rules were established: no kissing, no feelings. He hadn’t thought twice back then. Though as soon as he finally had the chance to slowly unravel Ezreal, to have him feel things he’d never felt before, all that came crashing down.
Kayn wanted to treat Ezreal better than anyone he’s ever been with. Kayn wants to kiss him again and again after knowing what it felt like. Wants to tear Ezreal apart and put him back together again.
He’s so, so fucked.
He cares .
“Kayn,” Ezreal draws out his name, playful, pulling him from his tormented mind and Rhaast’s unhelpful musings. “Let’s have sex.”
In the past, Kayn wouldn’t have blinked twice and yet now – now he’s agonizing over it.
He wants to feel the smooth touch of Ezreal’s skin beneath his fingertips. The heat that rises with every caress and tease. Though Kayn remembers Ezreal’s lips, fears that he won’t be able to hold back this bubbling desire that might burst midway through. The intense desire to drag him in and –
Just kiss him.
Kayn feigns disinterest as best as he can, making an effort to not reach for Ezreal, “Not in the mood…”
“Wow, the Sheida Kayn doesn’t want to have sex,” Ezreal’s tone is dripping with mockery.
All that bravado fades, however. Suddenly, Ezreal hesitantly crawls onto his lap but doesn’t make any sort of move. It’s innocent – testing the waters.
Ezreal looks at him in a way that sours Kayn to dust, “What do you need me to do?”
There’s that innate need to please his partner – to get them interested in him when all of Kayn’s body thrives and needs Ezreal. Ezreal doesn’t have to do a damn thing.
Kany wants him
So, so desperately wants hims, but he can’t cross boundaries.
His hands find Ezreal’s hips and seats him down so they’re flush, hips together and his groin pressed against Ezreal’s clit. It’s a maddening sensation. The fact that Ezreal is just right there yet he’s not inside of him. A stupid, instinctual drive that craves the heat of Ezreal’s body.
Kayn’s grip flexes before settling.
“You’re oddly quiet,” Ezreal pulls him from his reverie. “Maybe you actually aren’t in the mood.”
Ezreal doesn’t sound disappointed but – there’s almost an unease in his voice.
Something in Kayn panics at the sound of Ezreal’s voice. He has to say something, to throw Ezreal off the scent of his quickly building apprehension from just touching him. Kayn can’t lose himself like this every time he sees or touches Ezreal, but it’s becoming steadily worse with every passing day. A harmless glance in Ezreal’s direction is enough to set his mind stumbling ever since that night. Maybe, it was even before then.
He doesn’t fucking know anymore.
Whatever’s brewing inside him, Kayn keeps stamping it down but it’s like a flower that defies all odds with its will to thrive.
Kayn suddenly feels the need to save face, “It’s all your yapping.”
And Ezreal rises to it as easy as breathing, “I can put it to better use.”
He knows what Ezreal is implying, but that isn’t where he wants his mouth. Kayn remembers the taste of Ezreal’s lips, how soft they were, and he’s only landed himself in another trap after trying to set himself free from the previous one.
You’re such a sap.
Fuck off.
Kayn wishes he could physically strangle Rhaast.
“I have a better idea,” there are no better ideas. His fingers play with the fabric of Ezreal’s shorts, “Take these off and scoot up.”
Ezreal is quiet for a beat, blinking with a clueless yet curious look in his eyes, “What?”
Kayn cocks an eyebrow, curious. It’s not the first time he’s introduced Ezreal to something different, and he knows to tread carefully, to not overly tease. It wouldn’t make him better than any of the other assholes Ezreal’s slept with before, and that’s not how he wants to treat him either. If Kayn could, he would slowly unravel Ezreal again and again and have him experience all kinds of things that are beyond their current relationship.
A quirky smile does settle on his lips, though, “Never had the pleasure of sitting on someone’s face before?”
There’s a noticeable tension in Ezreal as his face colors, completely thrown. It’s not surprising, considering Ezreal had his first experience getting eaten out just weeks ago.
Kayn loves seeing him like this but wants to ease some of that tension “If you’re not cool with it, we don’t have to.” His fingers move to knead into the muscle of Ezreal’s thighs. “Doesn’t matter what we do, it’ll get me goin’.”
There’s a brief moment of hesitation before Ezreal lifts his hips, awkwardly getting out of his shorts and underwear before settling back down onto Kayn’s lap. He watches as Ezreal slowly shifts forward, and Kayn gently guides him until he’s nearly seated on his face.
He wants to ask again for good measure, “You sure?”
Ezreal nods stiffly, but his voice is heated and airy, “Yeah…”
“Okay, gimme all your weight. Crush me, honestly, I don’t care,” and Ezreal is crushing him in a way that isn’t the entire weight of his body.
“Idiot, I care,” Ezreal huffs, shifting forward once more until his legs cradle Kayn’s face. “It’s not sexy if I suffocate you while I’m in the middle of getting head.”
Kayn snickers, urging Ezreal closer with his hands, “I think that’s the sexiest thing you could do.”
Ezreal isn’t having it, eyes dangerously narrowed down at him, “I think it’s you who should put their mouth to better use.”
Well, it does save him from blabbering out anything too telling or too unnecessary. Kayn has no issue with putting his mouth to use on Ezreal, even if the deepest part of him wants to use his mouth on Ezreal’s lips once more. Though he’s the first person to have ever eaten Ezreal out, and Kayn has no problem with keeping it that way. More than eager to give Ezreal this pleasure that he’s never experienced from anyone else.
Without anymore coaxing, Ezreal is close enough that Kayn can breathe on his heat, sending a ripple up Ezreal’s spine.
Oh, fuck, Kayn loves that.
His hands rest firmly on Ezreal’s ass, fingers digging into the plush flesh. It’s so soft yet muscular under his hands, and Kayn doesn’t resist the urge to fondle.
“Would you…get on with it?” Ezreal is red up to his ears, a brilliant contrast to the green of his dyed hair and Kayn can’t exactly deny that desperation.
While Kayn is battling his own demons – a multitude of them – it cannot stop his teasing, “You’re more horny and needy than usual.”
Not like that bothers Kayn. It pleases him to no end that Ezreal still finds him in the wake of hoping to capture the pleasure that he desires the most.
“And who’s fault is that?” There’s this blissening pain that sears his scalp, tingly and warm, as Ezreal grabs hold of his hair, bringing him closer, “You’re the one that…”
Kayn feels lost in limbo.
It’s him that awakened this desire in Ezreal – one that he can’t forget.
He buries himself closer, nose nudging against Ezreal’s clit. That alone sends a delicious shiver through Ezreal, and Kayn wants nothing more than to reduce him to whimpers. He tentatively laps at Ezreal, just enough to feel his legs shake around Kayn’s head.
“Because of me, huh?” Kayn likes the sound of that, way more than just a fuck buddy should.
His tongue darts out to tease Ezreal’s clit, small, soft licks that leave Ezreal quivering on top of him. It’s Ezreal’s eyes, so dark and glazed over that spark interest in his cock, that urges Kayn to continue even if it is only teasing.
Ezreal keens, hips bucking forward for more, “It’s all your fault...”
And briefly, Ezreal looks like he’s on the verge of tears and everything in Kayn stutters, short circuits. There’s that obvious glimmer in Ezreal’s eyes that Kayn wants to chase away, or maybe, he wants to make them shine more. He doesn’t know, caught between lust and whatever the hell he’s feeling.
At this moment, all he knows is how to make Ezreal feel good.
And that’s all he wants.
His fingers dig into Ezreal’s ass to urge him forward more until all of his cunt is fully seated onto Kayn’s face. It’s suffocating, but Kayn wouldn’t have anything else. He jerks forward to suck at Ezreal, bringing all of him into his mouth. His tongue teases Ezreal’s folds before latching onto his clit, narrowing his cheeks to apply the most pressure. Perfectly, Ezreal whines above him, fingers tangling harder into his hair.
Kayn’s tongue swirls, the hardened bud in his mouth pulsing against him.
It’s so fucking hot.
Knowing that Ezreal is so aroused under his touch sends him into a frenzy, forgetting whatever was plaguing him before. All he wants is to have Ezreal come undone above him. After all, it’s the first time Ezreal’s got to sit on someone’s face before and be eaten out like some God.
Kayn wants to treat him as such.
There’s an unmistakable shiver that runs through Ezreal, who suddenly places a hand on the wall to steady himself.
His tongue wanders, dips in between Ezreal’s folds to tease there for a moment. The scent, the taste is so intoxicating. Kayn doesn’t want to leave, focusing his efforts on where he knows Ezreal so deeply wants to be filled. Though he knows his mouth alone isn’t going to cut it, and his tongue slowly laps back up his Ezreal’s clit, ignoring how his cock is strained against his pants.
Out of habit now to give reassurance, Kayn breathes against Ezreal, “I’ll get you there…”
A whine – such a beautiful sound, “Kayn…”
He sucks against Ezreal harder, flicking his tongue to earn a tremble from above him. While one of his hands continues to urge Ezreal closer, he moves the other, sinking a finger into Ezreal from behind. It slides in with ease, wet and velvety soft around his finger, and Ezreal sighs. Kayn slowly teases him with his finger while his mouth stays occupied.
Even if it’s unconsciously, Ezreal starts grinding down to seek more friction, limiting his breath but Kayn can only groan in satisfaction.
He was serious – he doesn’t care if Ezreal suffocates him while sitting on his face.
Kayn’s been so desperate to give Ezreal everything ever since he allowed him to take his time that night. It’s borderline – no, it’s fucking addicting to overwhelm Ezreal with pleasure in ways he’s never experienced before by his own hands, mouth, whatever is necessary.
He adds another finger. It’s so slick and hot as he pumps them in and out of Ezreal, who hangs his head forward, panting.
It’s a dangerous game to be able to see Ezreal’s face from this position.
A light shade of pink dusts over his cheeks as his face twists in pleasure, desperation. Kayn can’t take his eyes away, sucks Ezreal’s clit in earnest to get even more reactions he can see. Sure enough, Ezreal bites his bottom lip, eyes fluttering shut as Kayn feels him pulse against his mouth and around his fingers. With Ezreal’s eyes closed, Kayn feels he can watch as much as he wants without getting snuffed out.
Kayn can watch the exact moment where Ezreal bites his bottom lip harder with a particular thrust of his fingers, so he angles for that spot again and again until the legs around him shake.
Ah, fuck.
He wants to draw it out, keep Ezreal on edge, but Kayn wants him to cum on his face.
“Kayn – don’t – oh my, God – ” Ezreal tips his head back.
What a damn shame.
But it allows him to focus.
His tongue works over Ezreal’s clit more just how he likes it, and the hand in his hair grips tighter, sharper. A tingle washes over Kayn’s scalp and goes straight to his cock.
So much for not being in the mood due to whatever the fuck he was feeling before, but now Kayn wants to be inside of Ezreal so, so bad. Kayn wants to feel Ezreal twitch around him until he’s squirting on his cock.
Kayn then remembers he’s the only one who has made Ezreal cum like that before.
His fingers curl and press deeper, leaving Ezreal trembling above him. Kayn can feel how close he is, teetering on that edge that Kayn wants to gently push him off of.
The hand on the wall comes down to hammer at his shoulder, “Stop – Kayn, I’m – ”
And Kayn knows what he means, though he doesn’t pull away, keeps his mouth and fingers busy. The fact that Ezreal now knows when he’s going to squirt is so stupidly arousing – that Ezreal somehow has half a mind while tightly wrapped up in pleasure to warn Kayn.
His tongue continues to lap at Ezreal’s clit, fingers pressing in one, two, three more times until Ezreal turns into a completely wet, shaking mess.
Kayn closes his eyes, feels Ezreal’s cum coat his mouth and cheeks as his fingers never stop.
There’s these little breathy, strangled moans from above him that only urge him further. It isn’t until Ezreal is gasping, tightly gripping his hair with so much strength that Kayn chances a look at him. Ezreal’s eyes are watery and dazed, hinted with panic, and his cheeks have darkened to a deep red.
“I can’t – please – ” Ezreal pleads.
Kayn finally lets off, and Ezreal shivers so violently before inhaling deeply.
His lips and chin are soaked, but he makes no move to wipe himself off, ever so slowly withdrawing his fingers from Ezreal’s heat. Another tremor that he can feel around his head.
Even through the haze of his orgasm, Ezreal still has the gall to glare at him.
Kayn bites back the smile that threatens his lips.
“I tried to warn you…” Ezreal mumbles, his pointed stare not holding any weight.
“If I didn’t want you to squirt on my face, I would’ve let off ages ago,” Kayn admits, maybe a little too honest, and he hopes Ezreal doesn’t think anything more of it.
Ezreal grumbles under his breath, and it’s so cute. Hesitantly, he reaches out to gently wipe away the slick on Kayn’s face the best he can. The beat of his heart quickens, hard against his ribcage.
Then Ezreal scooches back, still breathing heavily, and Kayn misses the warmth around his head.
Kayn settles on the immediate need to tease instead of the rapid pace of his heart and loss of warmth, “Worn out already?”
Wrong choice, because Ezreal reaches out and pinches his nipple through his shirt and Kayn hisses, “Shut the hell up.”
The cold metal of his piercing twinges between Ezreal’s fingers, and Kayn tries not to let on how obviously it sends him surging with heat. Ezreal’s never explored his chest much, but then again, he’s never urged him to touch there. Though the reaction, small as it was, seems to gather Ezreal’s interest.
Ezreal pinches harder, and Kayn furiously bites at his bottom lip.
“Am I finally finding something new about you?” That smirk, Ezreal’s teasing voice goes straight to his dick, twitching painfully.
“Not new for me,” he tries to save face.
There’s a hum from Ezreal, who appears disinterested even though Kayn knows he’s not, “I don’t know why I never thought about it…” His other hand brushes against Kayn’s chest, catching against his piercing, “Makes sense why you have them pierced.”
Kayn might combust at this point.
He can’t have Ezreal breaking him down when he’s already hanging on by a damn thread.
Like a switch has been flipped, Ezreal’s moved enough to lift his shirt and Kayn might have a fucking heart attack.
“Let me return the favor,” Ezreal’s voice is so sweet, so promising, and Kayn can’t possibly counter it.
Though it’s not a favor to return.
Even before that night, none of this has been a favor. Kayn doesn’t see this as a give and take, at least, not anymore. He’s become so entrenched in making Ezreal feel good that his pleasure comes second – unimportant. It’s not like he doesn’t want to get off himself, but just having the permission to touch Ezreal has him singing.
And Kayn knows these thoughts are borderline more than what a sex friend might think.
There’s a hot, wet sensation that flutters over his nipple that barges Kayn from his thoughts. He peers down to see that Ezreal’s mouth is above his chest. His heart thuds against his ribcage.
For fuck’s sake – Ezreal is going to kill him.
Go out with a bang, then.
Kayn grimaces at Rhaast’s words, can only handle so much teasing.
Ezreal hums once more, shy, “Not good?”
If only Kayn could communicate that it was Rhaast bringing him displeasure, not the fact that Ezreal is suddenly deciding to explore his chest like he’s wanted for months .
Tell him how much you like it.
Kayn can’t – there’s no way he can let Ezreal know.
“It wasn’t bad…” he can barely manage, nearly close to losing himself.
He’s always considered his stamina decent, can talk himself down from an orgasm when needed, but now it’s slowly starting to crumble to the ground with Ezreal. A simple touch, even Ezreal just clinging to his arm in passing is enough to short circuit his brain these days. Ezreal exploring his body? Kayn might have the quickest orgasm he’s ever had in his life.
Tentatively, Ezreal thumbs over his piercing once more, and Kayn shivers.
All of his previous timidity is suddenly gone, “And you said you weren’t in the mood.”
Yeah, he really wasn’t – too distracted by his head earlier, but getting to taste Ezreal never fails to stir something inside him. There’s also the fact that Ezreal is idly playing with the piercings on his nipples like some fidget toy.
Kayn knew there was no winning against any of that.
One of Ezreal’s hands slowly moves down to palm over his clothed cock, and Kayn instinctually leans into that touch. A heat lazily pools in his belly, sears as Ezreal pulls at his nipple. Kayn winces, the pain and pleasure melting together into one. His fingers flex over Ezreal’s hips as he tries to keep his cool.
“I think this is only fair,” Ezreal smirks before leaning forward again, teeth catching on one of his piercings.
Kayn has to look away, eyes darting to the ceiling.
He tries to force his head elsewhere but is always brought back by Ezreal’s mouth and hand, pulling jolts out of him like Kayn’s never been touched before. Every little ministration, whether it be the tongue that teases his chest or the hand over his cock has Kayn locked to the present.
It’s when Ezreal’s hand moves to slither beneath his pants that Kayn remembers fighting and avoiding are two things he’s good at.
By some grace of whoever is commanding things up there, he finds the strength and resolve to flip them. Ezreal’s back lands on the bed with a loud thump as Kayn hovers above him. In that moment, Kayn intends to catch his breath but all the air gets caught in his throat.
Ezreal stares at him, pupils blown wide and eyelids heavy. The flush from earlier is still there but stronger now, reaching his collarbones. His legs are already spread to expose his cunt that’s still wet from when Kayn ate him out and made him cum.
Kayn thought he was doing himself a favor by switching their positions, but he’s sorely mistaken.
This is worse.
“You get so antsy over a little bit of teasing,” Ezreal’s voice is soft yet heated, one of his legs coming to rub up against Kayn’s.
He closes his eyes.
Open your eyes. Look at him.
Kayn resists the urge even with all of Rhaast’s ramblings.
Ezreal’s leg moves high enough to hook around his waist, and it forces him to open his eyes and stare down at the sight below him. It’s maddening that Ezreal looks the way he does – looks at him like that .
His fingers dig into the sheets, resisting the constant mantra in his head of kiss him, kiss him, kiss him.
Kayn can’t do that.
He can’t kiss Ezreal and it’s so frustrating, so fucking terrible that something in him snaps.
“Turn over,” he doesn’t recognize his voice that almost comes out in a tremble.
Ezreal shivers beneath him, and Kayn has almost forgotten that he prefers it rough, even after that night they spent together. Frayed beyond measure, he still doesn’t want that. Kayn knows that Ezreal doesn’t mind when it’s slow and gentle. And it’s not like he has anything against getting a little rough, but so much of him wants to completely take Ezreal apart however long it takes.
Ezreal hasn’t requested, however, that they do slow and easy since that night. So he can’t get what he wants, and Kayn feels like an absolute brat.
And just what the hell does he want?
Ezreal turns over, ass in the air and giving a view that many would kill for. His heart beat surges in his ears and he can’t hear a thing. It’s like almost everything he wants is there for the taking but it’s not. What he wants is more than just a quick fuck when the need rises – wants more than just Ezreal’s body. He wants –
Kayn freezes, realizing just how badly he needs and desires.
“What’re you waiting for?” Ezreal whines in front of him, pout on his lips as he reaches behind to grab at his ass, spreading himself. Kayn’s unable to look away, “C’mon…”
His pulse is a frenzy, thundering like a storm by just looking at Ezreal like this.
It’s suddenly too fucking hot.
He curses under his breath, ridding himself off his shirt and pulling down his pants just enough to spring his cock free. It’s hard with precum beading at the tip.
“Kayn,” Ezreal’s voice is so soft yet demanding that Kayn cannot help but look. “I don’t care how you do it just…please.”
Kayn seriously thinks he’s going to burst out of his skin.
He’s in no state to be hearing that sort of plea, especially not one he could so easily take out of context and rhyme to his own tune. This is dangerous.
With one hand he grabs Ezreal’s hip and the other handles his cock, lining himself up perfectly to sink into that searing heat. He feels the tremors around his cock, so strong that Kayn has to bite his lip and talk himself down. He stays like that, buried into Ezreal’s cunt without moving. Ezreal fists the pillow below him, face turned into it. How badly Kayn wants to see his face, but that would be the end of him.
“You’re so quiet,” Kayn can practically feel the tremble in Ezreal’s voice. “It’s weird...”
Because you’re too busy thinking about his heart.
Kayn stutters.
Ezreal’s heart?
Everything in him freezes, realizing just what he wants. Kayn can’t have that – doesn’t deserve that. He only started sleeping with Ezreal out of a mutual agreement, mutual attraction. Feelings – they aren’t allowed in this arrangement. Feelings are what break these delicate situations, and does that mean Kayn has to end this?
A cold sweat breaks out over his body.
Ezreal nudges his hips backward, and Kayn can’t ignore that, “Seriously, what’s up with you?” He lifts his head from the pillows, and it’s not exactly a serious annoyance that lines Ezreal’s features, there might be concern.
Kayn can’t handle that – can't look at that expression.
His hand reaches forward to shove Ezreal back down into the pillows, and he hates himself for it, doesn't want to treat Ezreal like this despite the shiver that runs beneath him.
A painful reminder that Ezreal easily gets off being treated like this – the only thing he’s ever known and Kayn no longer wants to emulate the people Ezreal’s previously slept with. Kayn wants to hold him in his arms and slowly thrust into him until Ezreal can’t take it anymore, but he can’t, not without explicit permission.
And Kayn doesn’t have the nerve to ask for it.
“I’m fine…” he punches out, breath scarce as Kayn pulls back enough to sink into Ezreal’s heat.
His cunt is so wet and hot from earlier, a delicious slide with every thrust. This is what he should focus on, not Rhaast’s teasings and whatever his head is screaming at him. It’s this; the way Ezreal fits around his cock like it was made for him. And yet as soon as the thought plunders him, Kayn feels just like all the other guys Ezreal’s slept with yet again.
Is he even any better than them?
His hips snap forward and Ezreal yelps below him, clenching around his cock. Kayn slowly brings his hand from Ezreal’s head to his shoulder for leverage as he thrusts, and he doesn’t miss the tiny shiver underneath his fingertips when the touch isn’t as rough. It eases his mind by a fraction, enough to keep going. Enough to chase after the gripping heat of Ezreal’s cunt with hurried thrusts.
Kayn tries to turn off his head, closing his eyes as he continues to bury his cock into Ezreal’s cunt. Listens to the breathy gasps from Ezreal and the smack of his hips meeting Ezreal’s ass. It’s loud and obscene, but Kayn doesn’t care – at least it’s one fucking thing he doesn’t care about in this moment.
Pleasure creeps in, fills his veins with every snap of his hips and flutter around his cock.
It reminds him of when they first had sex, hurried and desperate as they clawed at each other in the darkness of the living room. Kayn remembers lunging forward to kiss Ezreal only to be stopped by two delicate yet forceful fingers.
“I don’t need that,” Ezreal had said.
Fuck.
You’re hopeless.
Kayn grimaces, not now – just shut up .
A hand grabs his wrist, nails digging into flesh and Kayn’s eyes fly open.
A thin layer of sweat lines his forehead, feels heavy on his skin just as every inhale seems as it may crush his lungs. Something in him panics. His heart is so heavy in his chest that it might sink him past the ground.
Ezreal is shaking, and Kayn can feel it through the hand around his wrist and against his cock.
“Slower…” and Ezreal is pleading, words muddled and eyes glistening.
Momentarily, Kayn is horrified at the realization of how he detached himself from the present, forsaking Ezreal’s pleasure and his needs. So wrapped in the need to not feel - to not think, just to turn everything off. It’s then that Kayn wonders if this is how Ezreal felt whenever someone tried to treat him gently in the past. If any of this ran through his head when he had made noncommittal attempts to do so before that evening together.
Air rushes into his lungs, and Kayn doesn’t feel so far away anymore.
Slowly, he releases the hand gripped tightly on Ezreal’s shoulder to gently run it up his spine and Ezreal nearly coos , whimpers, arches into it. The reaction is so startling and unexpected that Kayn shivers himself, heat tightly wrapping around his body.
More .
And he’s not sure if it was Rhaast’s voice or his own booming inside him.
Letting himself actually feel Ezreal’s heated skin calms him, and Kayn exhales. He leans forward to drape over Ezreal’s back, and the tackiness of their skin meeting is so welcoming it’s frightening. Kayn uses his forearm to brace himself, holds himself up just enough to not crush Ezreal before burying his forehead into the crook of Ezreal’s neck.
He breathes him in and smells the body wash Ezreal uses – minty yet earthy, so unlike the scents of his bubble bath collection.
Kayn has so much to say, but it’s like his tongue is suddenly too heavy for his mouth.
The hand around his wrist softens and that feels like an answer to something that Kayn is too scared to ask.
“Slower,” Ezreal keens this time, especially when Kayn experimentally – maybe even a little cautiously – rocks his hips forward to slowly sink himself into Ezreal. “Yeah…” There’s this beautiful, breathless whine from him that Kayn wants to swallow with his mouth.
Kayn does it again, drawing out another whine that leaves Ezreal arching his lower back.
The slow drag of his cock inside of Ezreal’s cunt is overwhelming, sears a heat inside of him that Kayn is immediately clinging to, chasing. He brings an easy, lazy rhythm with his hips, feeling every inch of tense muscle that envelopes him.
It’s so reminiscent of that one night where he really got to feel Ezreal’s body more than ever.
Kayn keeps a steady, unhurried pace. Now, refocused, he gets to cling to every little rippling pulse around his cock, the moans Ezreal tries to stifle and the quakes that run through his body. It’s so much more . Another overpowering reminder of the desperation Kayn’s developed to hold Ezreal like this – to always hold him like this.
And for today, he has permission.
Kayn surely thought that Ezreal wouldn’t have given that permission so freely so soon.
Dangerously, his mind wanders – has Ezreal thought about that night, too? It was the last time they had had sex. It’s how Ezreal last remembers Kayn touching him.
The mere idea of Ezreal remembering the night they had and going along with Kayn’s suggestions drives a spark down his spine and all the way to his toes. His cock jerks with interest, aching and hard in the wet heat of Ezreal’s cunt.
Kayn breathes heavily against Ezreal’s skin, “Shit, again…you’re doing so well again…”
Desire stings inside him, a constant thrum, especially wild as Ezreal shudders violently at his praise.
This is dangerous, tormenting, and yet Kayn is awash with pleasure and want it nearly hurts. It stokes the fire of his urges, bringing them to life with a wild roar. Kayn burns with them, crackles and blazes. Holding Ezreal like this, tender and like the only God damn thing in the world, leaves Kayn at the desperate clamoring to not cross boundaries.
He cannot go miles even if Ezreal gives him an inch.
Though he has permission, limited as it may be.
Slowly, Kayn slips his wrist from Ezreal’s grip and begins a gentle caress that starts at Ezreal’s sternum. His fingers nudge against the bone there, can just barely feel the pounding of Ezreal’s heart and Kayn groans against heated skin. Ezreal, too, whimpers.
He keeps the ease of his thrusts but presses deeper until it’s impossibly tight. A wonderful noise escapes past Ezreal’s lips, urging Kayn to continue, and he does.
His hand travels downward, touch featherlight as Kayn brushes past Ezreal’s scars and over lithe muscle that twitches beneath. Lower, Kayn continues the caress lower all while fucking him earnestly but tenderly. Then the caress ends at Ezreal’s abdomen, and Kayn shatters with lust. He presses into Ezreal’s belly, can almost feel his cock beneath his hand, and there’s a violent quake that runs through every inch of Ezreal’s body.
“Oh my God – I – ” Ezreal’s cry is so strangled, so sharp that Kayn nearly loses it. “I’m gonna cum – k-keep doing that – !”
Kayn immediately presses harder, hissing at the way Ezreal clenches so tightly around his cock and – he’s not going to last.
The whines from Ezreal turn so loud, so incoherent, babbling every sort of plea beneath him that it’s nearly unholy. And Kayn hangs onto every stutter and cry like he’ll recite them later.
“K-Kayn – ” Ezreal’s cry is impossibly high and wet.
And Kayn can feel the tension in Ezreal’s body wind tighter and tighter while he can feel the slow, deep drag of his cock beneath his hand. Kayn’s own pleasure is a pool of lava in his gut, burning him alive just as much as the realization that he has Ezreal falling apart in his arms again. At the thought, Kayn has to bite his bottom lip to stem off the unyielding pressure of climax.
Kayn sighs into the crook of Ezreal’s neck, words tumbling out of him, “You feel so good Ez. You feel so fuckin’ good.”
A fractured cry, “I’m so close – I’m – ”
Ezreal’s hand is then suddenly over his, shaky yet firm. Their fingers are just a breath away from tangling together.
His heart races. His body tenses. He’s going to –
“Fuck – ” Kayn punches out, pleasure cutting and gnawing at him.
Ezreal all but shatters beneath him, body so tense as he pulses around him. Kayn’s vision whites out, and instead of biting his bottom lip, he bites at the skin of Ezreal’s neck. His hips come to an embarrassing stutter. The tension in his own body snaps and uncoils, sweet like the candies Ezreal snacks on while bored.
He can feel the rush of fluids between them, dripping from Ezreal onto their thighs and onto the bed beneath them.
Ezreal is beautifully boneless when Kayn finally comes to, mouthing at the bite he’s left to soothe the ache and burn. And yet again, he wants to trail his lips up the column of Ezreal’s neck until they reach higher and –
There’s that traitorous thudding of his heart again, and Kayn doesn’t want Ezreal to hear it, to feel it. Kayn feels entirely too online again.
With effort, he peels himself off Ezreal’s back. Kayn does keep a secure arm around Ezreal’s waist to slowly lower them both onto the bed together. The change of position allows him to slip out of Ezreal and his breath catches at the loss of heat.
Ezreal might as well be putty, slumping into the bed, against Kayn’s chest with a groan.
They are not cuddling, Kayn convinces himself. No, if they were, he wouldn’t hesitate to pull Ezreal closer until the heat of their bodies lingering in the afterglow becomes one.
The green of Ezreal’s hair cascades over the bare skin of shoulders, and it’s so tempting that Kayn almost finds himself reaching out. To brush the hair away and leave marks up Ezreal’s spine.
Yeah, the high is fading and he’s brought back to the confines of his reality.
Kayn isn’t sure if it’s unfortunate or not that Ezreal begins to stir.
The way Ezreal wrestles to move onto his stomach exposes the mess between his legs, remnants of himself and slick fluid. Kayn tears his eyes away before the view stirs his cock and leaves him in that weird place of devouring Ezreal while wanting to escape it all. Earlier, he still doesn’t know what the fuck happened to him earlier.
Something like guilt curdles in his stomach like sour milk.
When Ezreal finally turns to him, he can’t fucking breathe.
It’s red underneath Ezreal’s eyes, and there’s this look of ease on him that Kayn hasn’t seen since that night. His hair is mussed up and one strand of green sticks to his parted lips. Kayn wants to gently brush it away.
Though he remembers how his head sank away to a different place, that they tried something Ezreal is still not totally comfortable with.
Kayn forces himself to breathe, “Are you – ”
“That was so…good,” Ezreal says with a shuddering exhale, head hanging forward and robbing Kayn of his face. Maybe that’s a good thing.
Kayn, faced with such a raw admission, relaxes a bit. It bites at the heels of his guilt and whatever else that lingers there for him to pick through later. He knows it will all come crawling back and bite him in return. Regardless, Ezreal felt good.
Relief punches at him like he’s been disarmed in a fight.
“Yeah?” Kayn notices that it’s just a bit easier to force a smile.
“Yeah,” Ezreal sighs in agreement before lifting his head. “The way you…” and he trails off, eyes distant as Ezreal reaches toward his stomach.
Kayn knows hunger, and it settles deep in his veins.
He licks his lips, tests the waters of their boundaries, “Do you wanna do that again?”
Truthfully, it was the first time he’s ever done that. Another moment in their heated entanglement this time around where Kayn lost all reason and selfishly sought desire. Normally, and especially after Ezreal had recounted his past experiences, Kayn would’ve asked first.
Shit.
He really isn’t any better than Ezreal’s past partners.
“Mhm,” Ezreal hums, still a little dazed. “Was it good for you?”
Kayn’s afraid that he has to think about it.
It was good. It’s always good with Ezreal, but he couldn’t keep his focus. Desperately fighting to turn his mind off from all the selfish feelings and urges that swarm him like a sickness. Kayn hates that he’s exhausted in a different way after sex.
It’s not entirely a lie when he says, “Yeah.”
Ezreal brings his hands to his mouth like he’s trying to hide, cheeks flushing, “Okay…you always make sure I feel good, so I wanna make sure you feel good now, too.”
Oh .
Then Ezreal stretches out like a cat with a satisfied hum, as if he didn’t shatter Kayn by those words alone, “I’m gonna shower. You gonna come with?”
No, Kayn can absolutely not do that. That is a stupid idea.
Knowing he has to say something, Kayn thinks of the most reasonable excuse, “No, I gotta wash my sheets.”
“We always forget to put down a blanket…” Ezreal mutters absently.
If they do have sex on one of their beds, every damn time they forget, and Kayn tries to focus on that chronic misstep of theirs’ instead of how his sheets now smell like Ezreal again.
Ezreal’s already on his feet and pulling on his clothes. The spot next to him is still warm and heavy from Ezreal’s presence, and Kayn’s hand twitches, wanting to reach for that spot. And if they were something more, Kayn would shamelessly coax Ezreal back into bed with him.
If they were something more .
The thought hangs there, heavy and unwanted, and Kayn doesn’t know what to do with that blaring awareness. He forgets how to breathe again.
“Hey, when you’re done, do you wanna play Mario Kart?” The question sounds so far away, and for a second, Kayn doesn’t know who’s speaking. “Kayn?”
His inhale is sharp, trying to find his voice, “What?”
Ezreal’s brows cinch together, “You’re really spacey today.”
Ezreal has seen too much, and Kayn feels like he’s stripped of his skin, raw, “I’m fine, just slept like shit last night.” Kayn forces himself to sit up, smirking. “And I came a minute ago, give a man a break.”
There’s a content little noise from Ezreal, and fuck, he’s cute, “Games? When you’re ready?”
“Yeah, sure,” he agrees, as easy as breathing, even though he probably needs a good hour alone to decompress.
Ezreal bounces on his heels as he leaves Kayn’s room, looking all too satisfied. He snorts at the obvious glee and the little things that make Ezreal so easily happy.
Kayn falls back down onto the bed once he’s alone, staring at the ceiling. The sudden silence is deafening, loud, yet he’s thankful for a moment to himself before he goes to join Ezreal later.
This time he allows the urge take shape, reaching beside him to feel the warmth of where Ezreal once laid. Heat lingers there, and Kayn inhales what’s leftover of Ezreal’s scent along with the heaviness of sex. It fills his lungs as his hand roams, basking, until grazing something wet and the moment’s ruined.
Kayn grumbles, wiping his hand off.
He really does have to wash his sheets now. It’s late, and hopefully Yone won’t nag him in the morning for doing laundry at this hour.
Finally moving, Kayn wrestles his pants back up to look somewhat decent for his walk to the laundry room. He makes work of the sheets until he hears a thump. His phone reveals itself after tumbling with the sheets.
Right.
Kayn grabs it and his screen lights up. A couple of notifications from Instagram but no new messages. He has half a mind to throw his phone because fucking Akali. In the middle of a crisis – a very unfamiliar one, and she doesn’t respond.
What was he expecting?
Though it opens up the turmoil he was swimming in before Ezreal came into his room with a mission. Kayn can’t deny the cavern that’s torn his chest open after tonight. Every little thing Ezreal does has his chest stuttering, whether it’s in bed or the chaotic moments they share as friends. Kayn wants, wants, wants, and it’s fucking with him – bad.
You’ve got some feelings for him. Took you long enough.
“Oh, fuck off, Rhaast,” and Kayn’s grateful he’s alone now as he tears at his sheets.
What’s the harm?
Kayn thinks everything is wrong over the fact that he likes Ezreal as more than a friend, as more than someone who just wants to sleep with him for fun. They said no feelings, and he had been so confident at the time that he laughed.
Now it’s just Rhaast who is laughing at him.
He glances back at the text thread he has with Akali. Without a doubt, there’s something that’s wanting to claw its way out of his chest and pull him under. His thumbs quickly move out along the the screen of his phone, texting Akali:
im fucking in love with him
And then, there are three blinking dots lighting up his screen.