Chapter Text
“You should apologize.”
Anastasia was currently glaring at the source of that voice, a certain beautiful white fox who was sitting across from our favorite mauve merchant. They were traveling by carriage toward the mansion of a particular sun princess.
“…It’s not my fault Emilia has a temper problem.”
“I doubt anyone would like their knight having, explicit relations, so openly. Especially given how maliciously you were lying,” Crusch, who was sitting next to Echidna, pointed out.
Echidna, or Eridna as Subaru calls her, initially stayed hidden for the past few months. Until Anastasia tried to hide away from Subaru’s wrath by using Eridna to take over. To the merchant and fox’s surprise, Subaru immediately noticed. Which didn’t exactly help how angry Subaru was. Eridna, like the others, left Anastasia to her fate.
Anastasia secretly promised she would return the favor tenfold to her camp once her bout with Subaru was over.
“Technically,” Anastasia put in air quotes, “I didn’t say a single lie.”
Crusch raised an eyebrow and mouthed out a specific F-word.
The merchant just waved her hand in the air, “Okay. One lie.”
“And you wonder why Subaru-dono was so angry with you…” Crusch pinched her nose.
“It’s not like I don’t understand why Natsuki got so pissed…”
“Oh, Natsuki? Not Subaru-kun? Subaru? Or the ever-endearing ‘little shit?’” Eridna prodded at her.
Anastasia threw her hat at the fox as the spirit laughed merrily.
Anastasia pouted, “I do understand. It’s just… what’s the difference between now and before? Emilia is angry about false rumors, she tries to kill me, and Subaru must stay at our mansion. Nothing changes.”
A voice sighed right next to her, “Betty believes this is why you are currently in the doghouse, in fact. You got too greedy.”
Now the merchant was glaring at the other spirit, “…And why are you following us? Shouldn’t you be attached at the hip to Su-” she coughed, “Natsuki.”
Beatrice looked up from the book she was reading and stared, “Betty should be asking you that considering your nightly activities with her contractor.”
Anastasia’s eye started twitching, “I don’t know what you are talking about. We play Twister.”
Eridna chuckled, “Oh yes, Twister.”
That somehow broke Anastasia’s patience, “Is nobody on my side?!”
Beatrice went back to reading, “Betty is still firmly on Subaru’s side. However, Betty must help her future daughter-in-law rectify her mistakes, I suppose.”
Crusch raised an eyebrow this time at Beatrice, “Daughter-in-law? You consider Subaru-dono as your son?”
Beatrice shook her head, “Betty will take on whatever role her contractor needs. Since Mrs. Natsuki is not here right now, Betty shall represent her.”
Beatrice then, without looking, reached up and patted Anastasia on the shoulder, “You are suboptimal, but you’ll do for now, I suppose.”
Anastasia narrowed her eyes, “Oh gee. Thanks.”
Now it was Eridna’s turn to question her fellow spirit, “Curious. I am fairly curious why you don’t support Subaru’s romance with the maid or half-elf. You certainly don’t seem to hold a high opinion of Ana, so does that mean you don’t approve of the others even more?”
Beatrice looked up again, “Betty believes the others have their virtues and flaws, just like the purple maneater. They are both very loyal and very kind. However, Bubby’s daughter has yet to fully mature. The maid also has a habit of letting her emotions take control of her actions. Both do not have the emotional depth to fully handle Betty’s contractor.”
Crusch then looked toward Anastasia surprised, “And you believe she does?”
Anastasia looked very offended, “Sitting right here. Across from all of you.”
Beatrice continued, “During his first week at the clown’s mansion, the blue one exuded killing intent due to Subaru’s smell, even after being told Subaru was a non-threat. Betty cannot confirm, but she is fairly certain that the blue one would have killed Subaru at the slightest provocation. And we all know what happened after the incident when the selection began.”
They all grimaced remembering that specific duel.
“…Subaru doesn’t smell that bad,” Anastasia muttered to herself, trying to not think about that unpleasant memory.
While Crusch couldn’t hear her, the spirits had keener senses, as both soon grew small smiles.
Beatrice finished off her explanation, “Finally, despite how the merchant has been acting now, Betty has seen her try to talk to and reconnect with her contractor at every opportunity. Betty has also seen her trying to buy gifts or ask others for advice regarding the situation.”
Crusch nodded her head, “I believe I can understand some of your logic. Unlike the others, Anastasia seems more reasonable to you. Especially during disagreements.”
The merchant was greedy, she didn’t like leaving situations as they were, especially ones where her interpersonal relationships were at risk.
Anastasia was now acting like she was ignoring the conversation, looking out the window. However, if one were to pay attention, they could see some slight blush on her ear tips.
The verdant duchess was still slightly confused, “Wait, if you have tried to apologize, why has Subaru-dono not forgiven you? He is generally reasonable and easily forgiving about most topics.”
“That’s because our little Ana won’t acquiesce to the one request Subaru asked for,” Eridna explained this time as she glanced at the merchant knowingly.
Anastasia did not respond and simply sighed.
Before the conversation could continue, a voice was heard from outside, “Excuse me, we have arrived at the Barielle Mansion in the Royal Capital.”
Eridna quickly turned back to her scarf form and plopped down around Anastasia’s neck.
Opening the door, they were greeted by the sight of an adorable pink butler.
“Anastasia-sama, Beatrice-sama,” he was surprised by the second candidate, “Crusch-sama? We were not expecting you.”
Crusch bowed slightly, “Apologies. Subaru-dono was unable to make it so I have arrived in his stead.”
“Oho? Has the jester finally tired of your games, fox?”
Priscilla Barielle was standing at the entrance of the mansion, magnanimously gazing at her lesser candidates.
Stepping closer, “Or has he decided to return to his original owner out of habit? Mayhap he has not grown tired of your games but rather your desolate lands? Thou are lacking in certain areas,” Priscilla said as she gazed at certain assets of the merchant.
Anastasia was unfazed, “Is that all you got?”
“Pardon?”
She gazed with dead eyes, “Subaru has called me, but not limited to: jailbait, a bottomless drink with emphasis on bottomless, and a flatbread with an extra helping of flat. If you’re going to insult my physical appearance, you’ll need better material.”
The sun princess stared blankly at the merchant before suddenly laughing, “Ha! Tis a shame the jester is not here as he has only become more entertaining since mine eyes have graced his feeble presence. Why is he not here?”
Without missing a beat, “He’s busy. We are running a business together and one of us needs to keep the operation always running.”
Priscilla stared, until whipping out her fan, “Do not lie to me. Thou art having a spat with the jester and you both were unable to reconcile before tonight. It is written on your face.”
Not trying to give a reaction, she simply smiled, “It is the truth, I have not lied.”
“Yet, you seem to be doing an awful amount of it to yourself,” Priscilla snorted before turning back to the mansion, “Come along, my time is limited, and I do not wish to waste it on feeding your self-deceptions.”
Slightly narrowing her eyes, Anastasia followed along. Crusch sighed before also pushing forward.
Now that all three princesses have met, poker night was about to begin.
Schult was about to leave before being stopped by Beatrice, “Butler, tell Betty if you have ever heard of ‘squatter’s rights.’”
The boy, bewildered, “A-apologies Beatrice-sama, I don’t think so. Priscilla-sama has not taught me such topics yet.”
Beatrice grinned like a predator, “Excellent. Lead Betty towards your library, in fact.”
“I would like to apologize.”
Subaru looked up, confused, “For what?”
“Everything. Anything. Whatever it was I did that made you think this was a good idea!”
Otto was currently still strapped to the wall of the main living room. Unfortunately, Reinhard was unable to find a monster that Reid deemed as a worthy opponent. So, Mimi had two ideas, the first being what Otto was shaking in fear about.
“You’ll be fine.”
“Natsuki-san. You have a magic cannon aimed straight at my chest. You also can’t say anything while hiding like that!!”
Subaru was currently hiding behind a sheathed Reid, who was hiding behind Shaula, who was hiding behind Reinhard. Subaru calls it the Great Wall of Lugunica.
“Well, it’s either this or we wait until Mimi is ready.”
“…What did Mimi say was option two?”
Subaru stared at Otto, “Experiment with SURPRISE goo until we get something dangerous enough for Reinhard to draw Reid. Or worst case we just fling whatever we finally get at you. You know, fight fire with fire? Or eldritch goo with eldritch goo in this case…”
They decided to name the cake batter as SURPRISE goo. Mostly because every day they find something more surprising about it. Besides being able to become highly explosive, nearly indestructible and very sticky, and glowing in the dark, adding soy sauce makes it smell like piches. It does not taste like piches, as Hetaro reported. Also, Hetaro is now out of commission due to food poisoning.
Otto stared back, “Natsuki-san. That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard.”
Subaru threw his hands in the air, “Well what am I supposed to do?! Nothing else has worked.”
“I don’t know! Have you tried talking to Roswaal?”
Subaru shook his head, “I did! When I tried visiting a few days ago, all he did was laugh for thirty minutes. He then said to try using fire. I think he’s still salty about you burning his mansion to the ground.”
“That was you! You had the idea!! I am not the only arsonist responsible!!!”
“Yeah, I don’t know why, I think he just holds a grudge against you for some reason.”
Otto sighed dejectedly, “…So were you able to talk to Emilia-sama?”
Subaru looked sheepish, “…No. She and Rem kept ignoring me. I left a note just in case. Ram was annoyed, more than usual. Frederica was oddly very interested in how my relationship with Anastasia was going. Petra too, but like in a different way? I don’t know why but I could tell.”
Otto gazed sympathetically, “Sorry to hear that Natsuki-san. I’m sure they will come around.”
Subaru waved his hand, “It’s okay. Not the first time this has happened. I’m sure we’ll be able to sort things out once they calm down.”
“…And what about Anastasia-sama, have you decided to talk to her again?”
This time Subaru just looked away, “…”
“Natsuki-san.”
“I’m not talking to her until she apologizes.”
Otto raised an eyebrow, “I thought I heard her apologize to you. Was I mishearing things?”
Subaru sighed, “It’s not me she needs to say sorry to.”
Before Otto could ask for more, Reinhard raised a finger and clarified, “Subaru doesn’t want an apology from Anastasia, he wants her to sincerely apologize to Emilia for lying.”
“Thank you Rein,” Subaru nodded towards Reinhard as the Sword Saint smiled.
“Oh oh!” Shaula raised her hand high in the air, “Master also hates that Ana said she was birthing a baby soon when she wasn’t!”
“…Thank you Shaula,” Subaru then patted her head as she smiled widely.
Otto just looked more confused, “Okay, ignoring the whole baby thing: wait really?”
“While I’m annoyed she didn’t tell me the truth, I don’t like how she intentionally used me to hurt Emilia.”
Otto stared at Subaru, “…Are you sure that’s the only reason?”
Before Subaru could clarify what Otto meant, Mimi burst into the room.
“Mini-boss!” She jumped up and down excitedly, “Mimi thinks we got something!”
Subaru raised his eyebrow before they all heard a loud,
ROAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Every single head slowly turned towards the vibrating kitten girl.
“What was that, Mimi?”
“SURPRISE goo!”
“…Rein, Shaula, we need to go now,” Subaru said as he tossed Reid towards Reinhard while picking up Mimi and putting her on his shoulders.
“Woohoo!” screamed the little girl.
Otto panicked, “Wait what about me?!”
“Don’t worry Otto, once Rein one-shots that thing we’ll shove Reid right into you!”
“Don’t you mean use Reid to free me?!!”
Nobody pacified the advisor’s worries as all four of them sprinted towards the source of the monstrous screech.