Work Text:
“Brother, I am in love,” Kili said with a large smile.
Fili looked at him and laughed, not impressed by the declaration. They'd both had a fair share of Mr Baggins' beer and wine, and Kili had a tendency to be dramatic when he was drunk.
“And who is the object of you affection, baby brother? Is it our little host? I suppose you'd enjoy having someone with even less beard than you have.”
“Don't be ridiculous! I could only attach myself to a true, real dwarvish dwarf, with a nice properly braided beard.”
“Then 'tis my heavy duty to tell you that Gloin is, in fact, married, and that he has a son almost our age.”
“You're mocking me!” Kili complained.
“I would never. Now tell me who your dear lover is.”
“Ori.”
Fili laughed again.
“The scholar?”
Kili nodded, a large grin on his elfish face. His brother did not share his enthusiasm. Fili knew his little brother only too well, and while he could understand his fascination with a scholar, he could not imagine how the reverse would ever be true.
“And what pleases you so much in him, his brains, or that very fine face of his?”
“Can't it be both?” Kili protested. “And he's fierce too, did you hear him going on about the dragon?”
Indeed, Fili had heard him. He had also seen how many beers the boy had had, and that was about as many as Kili had. And that was why Fili did not really worry, in the end. The children were both far too drunk for any of it to matter.
But the next morning, it was clear that Kili's infatuation had not been due only to alcohol. He made sure to keep his pony not far from Ori's, chatting with the young scholar, joking with him when the hobbit joined them after a moment. Or more exactly, Fili noted, Kili talked a lot and his poor companion nodded, looking like a terrified rabbit.
“He's a bit shy,” Kili explained later. “He's not used to being around so many people, but he'll warm up to us, and I'm sure we'll be great friends. And do you know, he can draw?”
Fili rolled his eyes. The way his brother had said that, he would have thought the boy's talent was to kill dragons with his bare hands.
Two nights later, Kili had convinced Ori to draw his and Fili's portraits, and everyone was observing it with curiosity. The pictorial arts had little success among the dwarves who deemed them a hobby for men and elves. Ori's talent was thus highly unusual. It had all started very nicely though, and the young dwarf had seemed very happy that the brothers would want to pose for him.
For a short moment, Ori's smile was so bright that Fili thought his brother might have a chance after all. Until some of the other dwarves came to see what their little scholar was doing. As soon as they started making comments about his sketches, and how un-dwarvish the whole thing was, Ori tensed, his face a blank mask, his shy smile gone for good. None of Kili's enthusiastic comments on the drawing could bring it back. The dark haired prince did not seem to notice it though, happy as he was to have been given a present by his crush.
Not that Kili was blind to Ori's problems, Fili had to grant him that. His little brother would often try to raise the other's spirits whenever Dori or Nori's remarks saddened him, and more than once Kili made a fool of himself to distract the others when they seemed to be bothering Ori. Fili had to admit he was impressed. He would never have thought his brother could ever be so seriously smitten, and he was starting to fear it might be more than a mere crush. Fear really was the word, sadly.
For while Kili's affection was only clearer with each passing day, things were not so clear on Ori's side. Fili had the impression that the scholar appreciated Kili's friendliness most of the time, but on occasions he seemed almost angry and jealous of the young prince's ease around others.
At any other time, Fili would have felt sorry for Ori. He remembered only too well when he too had been treated as a child, being the youngest of a company, and he could imagine how seeing Kili, who was barely older, be treated as a proper adult, must have been agony. But envy was not a good start for a romance, and Fili decided it was time to let Kili know that Ori really didn't seem that interested.
They stayed in the ruins of a barn that night, and Thorin, in a fouler mood than usual, sent his nephews to watch over the ponies. Fili thought it was the perfect occasion for the discussion he had in mind, since they would probably be left alone for a while.
“So, how are things going with you little scribbler?” Fili asked when they were alone. “Doesn't look to me like you're making any progress there.”
“I am, actually. We've had a long discussion today, about all the languages he talks, and it was all fine and fun. He speaks Elfish you know!”
“So, what, you're... friends, now? Kili, I don't think he likes you the way you do.”
“Not yet, but...”
“But nothing! When was the last time he came looking for you? Did he ever try to help you or to make you smile, like you do for him? Open your eyes, I don't think he even likes you as a friend!”
“He's just shy, that's all!” Kili protested loudly. “And when we're alone he's nice and he smiles at me a lot, it's when the others are here to annoy him that he's... not quite as nice.”
“Kili...”
“And he does things for me too! Well, he wanted to, at least, but Nori made fun of him when he offered to knit fingerless gloves that I could use while shooting. And Dori forbade it when he said he could teach me a bit of Elfish or Black Speech, and Dwalin didn't want him to keep watch with you and me... I know they all mean well, but sometimes they're all a bit...”
“Never easy being the youngest of a group,” Fili admitted. “Still, be careful, okay? I don't want you to get hurt because some idiot has issues, so try to be objective about this whole thing, yeah?”
Kili nodded, looking very serious, and Fili wondered if his brother had maybe shared his doubts before. There was a long moment of silence, neither knowing was to say, then Kili turned to his brother, worry clear in his beardless face.
“Hey, how many ponies do we have exactly?”
“Sixteen. Why?”
“Because I seriously hope I've made a mistake counting them. I only see fourteen.”
Thorin wasn't too happy with them after the business with the trolls, and he made it clear that they hadn't heard the last of it. Kili didn't care. He was too busy explaining his describing to his brother how brave Ori had been during the fight. Seeing him so stupidly taken almost made Fili sick, but thank Mahal he was saved from it by the arrival of wargs.
Later, on their way to Rivendell, Fili spotted a bit of an argument between his brother and Ori, but when he asked Kili about it he just brushed it off with a smile.
“I was a bit forward, is all. And he's mighty disappointed he could do so little against the orcs. D'you think I'd be able to make him a bow, maybe?”
“Well all remember what happened last time you tried that. So if you are attached to your fingers, and would like them to stay attached to your body, I'd advise you don't try to make anything. It'd be safer to steal one from the elves.”
Fili had meant that as a joke, and indeed they both laughed at the idea. But for the rest of the walk, Kili looked very thoughtful, and that was never a good sign.
Thorin had taken them aside while the rest of the company started eating, and he had told them exactly what he had thought of their idea of sending the burglar after trolls. To be honest, Fili had heard worse from their uncle, and more than once, but his brother was shaken by such anger from a parent who had always been kind to him.
“Ori has more sense that the two of you together,” Thorin yelled at one point. “Ori! A child, who has spent his life reading books, who has never set a foot in the Wild, never been in a fight, knows better than my own nephews how to behave himself when part of a group! When I give him an order, he obeys. When I ask him to do something, he sets to the task and sees it through. When he sees danger, he thinks before he acts!”
“Which is how he ended charging a warg with a slingshot!” Fili protested.
“And the only life he risked doing that was his own. Your joke almost cost us all our lives. So you would do well to follow the child's example from time to time, or be sure I will send you back to your mother. Now go and think about this. You are dismissed.”
They both bowed and left, Kili tense and red in the face. Fili tried to comfort him, saying that Thorin's anger would not last, but his brother's spirits only improved when they arrived at the banquet and he saw Ori.
“You can't be serious,” Fili grumbled. “You should be careful you know, if his brothers notice you... where are you going?”
“Trying to find some proper food. Don't wait for me, I'll sit with Ori when I'm back!”
He was gone before Fili could stop him. The blond dwarf went to sit alone, keeping a free chair between Balin and himself for Thorin. The king soon joined them, and immediately asked after his missing nephew.
“He went to complain about the food,” Fili sighed. “And then I think he wants to see with the others and have some fun with them.”
“I see. Is it serious then, this... thing, with Ori? I'm right to assume that who he wants to sit with?”
His nephew nodded, surprised his uncle had noticed the attempted romance, even more surprised that there was no disapproval in his voice.
“Ori is a good lad,” Thorin said. “His influence could be good on your brother, and I think Kili could bring him some confidence.”
“Then you don't mind that there is... courting happening on our quest?”
“Not as long as it doesn't create problems in the company, no. They are young, and these things happen whether I like it or not. If I tried to stop them, they would have to hide it, and nothing good could come out of it. But you don't seem happy for you brother.”
“I'm not sure there's any reason to be happy, uncle. Kili is extremely fond of Ori, and if he dares not speak of love yet, I'll do it for him. Ori, on the other hand, has never said or done a thing to show that he knows of that love, and I am less than sure he would return it if he knew.”
Thorin appeared to think about that for a moment, and if his eyes strayed once or twice toward their burglar, Fili pretended not to notice it.
“I am not sure Kili's attentions will be entirely unwanted if he expresses them,” the king finally said. “But if they are, he will have to learn how to go on like this, as we all do.”
That was wise, of course. Still, Fili had half a mind to go to that annoying little scholar and to promise to break his pretty nose if he ever broke his brother's heart.
As he was imagining doing this, Kili came back into the room, carrying with him a large portion of chips that he gave to his beloved. For a few seconds, there was surprise and, yes, affection in Ori's eyes, though he soon returned to his wary self, as if he feared that it was all some sort of a joke. Fili sighed. He sincerely hoped that his uncle was right, and that there was some hope for the young ones.
The elves had prepared bedrooms for the company, and though he was supposed to share his with his brother, Fili ended going to bed alone. He had barely gone under the soft covers when he heard someone enter the room, and felt a weight climbing in next to him.
“ 'M surprised you're here, baby brother,” he teased with a sleepy voice. “I thought you'd found yourself another bed companion, at last.”
He had been surprised to see Kili drag Ori out of the dining-room some time earlier, but neither of them had been back by bed time, and he'd drawn a few obvious conclusions from that fact. The sort of conclusions that involved a dark corner and a lot of privacy.
Instead, he felt his brother lie down on his side, before a beardless face burrowed itself against his shoulder.
“He hates me.”
Kili's voice was barely a whisper, but it woke Fili up better than a thousand screams could have done.
“He said no, then?”
“I didn't even have time to properly tell him anything. He hates me, Fili! He looked at me like a I was an orc, and he shouted at me!”
Fili felt tears on his shoulder, but kept silent, stroking his brother's hair like their mother used to do when they were sad. He had never been good with these things. He could have fought thousands of wargs for his brother, without a second of hesitation, but seeing him cry made him feel powerless.
“I love him, you know,” Kili whispered softly. “You think I'm too young for that, and maybe you're right, but I love him. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, because he's so nice and clever, and he has amazing hands, and his face does that adorable thing when he smiles. I wanted to see him smile everyday, like he does when it's just the two of us and he can relax. He would have made scarves for me, and he would have read aloud his books while I cooked him all his favourite dishes. I would have kissed him everyday, and made sure he was always happy. I'd have done anything for him, but now it will never happen because he hates me.”
“You could always try to change his mind,” Fili suggested. He had the vague impression that was something people often did after being rejected.
“It's his choice, and I've got to respect it,” Kili protested. “I've told him I'll leave him alone, and I really will. I just... I would have hoped there was a way to at least be friends, because just that would already be so nice. But he hates me, he really does, so there's no chance of even that.”
“If it can make you feel better, I'm more than willing to punch him in the face,” Fili offered, shifting to properly hug his brother.
Kili laughed.
“You'd never. I don't want it anyway, and uncle would be so mad at you if you did.”
And it would be worth it, Fili ferociously thought as he held his heartbroken little brother. He said nothing of the sort though, and instead encourage Kili to try and get some sleep. They had a long day ahead of them.