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Within the the Guild Hall of the Nation of Purple Progress the was plenty of the usual hustle and bustle. Monster hunters bragging about their latest hunt, scouts showing off the neat collectables they found littered on the ground during their patrol. All of it however came to a halt when a certain brunette with a leafy bow started shouting to get everyone's attention.
"Alright, everyone huddle up around me!" IF ordered them all and they all fell in line. "Here's the basic run down, things have been going smooth so far. No new ASIC activity has been popping up or any signs of it starting back up again." She relied, getting some mumbling of approval started amongst the small little crowd. "BUT... just because it's peaceful now doesn't mean it's gonna stay that way forever, so me and Histoire are gonna elect someone to go out on patrols, not just for ASIC but basic crime in general. SO! Any volunteers?"
Right as IF asked that, someone immediately popped out from the crowd that she tried to ignore.
"Did someone say... volunteer?" A certain, excitable blue-haired self proclaimed heroine instantly offered her services, striking a series of poses as her red scarf drifted in the wind. "Nisa, at your service!"
"Come on... ANYONE at all... don't be shy." IF asked, totally ignoring Nisa while looking towards the large group of guild workers.
''Sorry boss, me and the guys have to deal with a bunch of Fenrirs.''
''We have to do some herb gathering.''
''Uhhhhh… sorry, my doctor said I can't do quests for… reasons.''
Nisa just moved closer, her grin getting wider as IF got increasingly desperate.
"Th-That's fine, still plenty of people around. Soooo... get those hands up! Don't be shy." IF ignored Nisa and asked the crowd once again, getting nothing but silence and the sounds of crickets, making the brunette sigh. "ANYBODY at all? Offers still goin' hot, we'll even throw in college credit. Just... ANYBODY raise your hand..."
''Nope, not happening I have a date"
''I have to go clean out that haunted mansion again, so… yeah.''
''And I have some experiments to run.''
IF paled, and it didn't help that Nisa had gotten so close that their cheeks were touching, and she was smiling like a kid waiting for approval from their mom.
"Does EVERYONE here already got a job?" IF pitifully asked, hoping someone would change their mind but only got a chorus of answers from one group.
"Yeah."
"Yes."
"Yeah."
"Yep."
"No... wait, can I change my answer?"
"Uggggggggh..." IF groaned and, very reluctantly, turned to Nisa, their noses squishing against one another from how close she got. "Nisa? Do you... wanna... ugh... go out... on patrol?" She asked, the reluctance being so high she was practically forcing herself to ask it.
"You needn't ask, IF! My answer is already YES!'' Nisa cheered and jumped high, so high that IF had to side step to avoid getting plumber stomped. "But I mustn't accept such an offer yet! After all... I have to make my speech."
"Yeah you REALLY don't have to." IF tried to stop her but she was already taking a big deep breath. "...Never mind, guess we're doin' this..."
"GUILD MEMBERS!" Nisa shouted, making half of them jolt. "Who am I to accept such a humble honor? Why, I would be nothing without the chances this very guild has given me. And to that, I will carry out my duties-"
One Hour Later…
''Crime, punishment… Punishment, and crime… in Planeptune!''
Two Hours Later…
"-which reminds me of an incredibly long speech written by the greatest Guild Agent of all time!" Nisa declared, as she pulled out a comically long sheet of paper from her vest. "Friends, students, juvenile delinquents, lend me your ears-"
Three Hours Later…
"...Nisa..." IF sighed in a deadpan matter but the girl just kept on continuing somehow. "Nisa?..." She repeated but still got ignored until she finally got fed up enough and just shouted. "NISA! IT'S BEEN SIX HOURS ALREADY! EVERYONE'S ALREADY GONE!"
''... Huh? I... Oh." Nisa blinked, looking around in realization that it was just the two of them before she looked at IF sheepishly. "... I overdid the speech again, didn't I?"
"Ya think?!" IF chastised but only ended up sighing afterwards that was followed up with her giving Nisa a stern look. "Just get out there and do patrol already."
"I won't let you down, IF!" Nisa quickly recovered and gave the guild leader a salute. "Planeptune is safe under my watch!"
"Try not to overdo it like you usually do, okay?"
Nisa only gave the Guild Agent a thumbs up as she ran off into the night, leaving IF to still wonder if she made a mistake or not.
... Well, she definitely knew she made a mistake standing in the same spot for six hours, because now her legs hurt.
"Owwwwwwwww..." IF groaned and walked off, doing her best to keep herself standing while she made her way back to her home. "Good thing Compa can give a good massage... now to get there without falling flat on my face..."
The night was young, and the streets of Planeptune were bathed in the soft glow of neon lights. Nisa dashed through the city with all the grace of an over-caffeinated child, her red scarf flapping dramatically behind her as she patrolled.
"Hah! With me on patrol, crime doesn't stand a chance!" she declared to no one in particular, striking a pose atop a lamppost, earning many weird stares in the process.
Her keen (read: extremely overactive) senses scanned the area for any signs of wrongdoing. And then—BAM!—her eyes locked onto a suspicious figure.
There, near an intersection, was a person standing on a ladder, fiddling with the traffic lights. The worker, dressed in a high-visibility vest and a tool belt, was muttering to themselves as they adjusted the wiring.
But it was a lie! Nisa knew all too well that it couldn't have been a worker at all. No, she knew this was the work of a criminal!
"Aha! A villainous saboteur! No doubt trying to plunge Planeptune into chaos by disabling our traffic signals! Well, not on my watch!"
Without a second thought (or, well, any thought), she sprang into action.
"JUSTICE KIIIIIIIIICK!"
With a flying leap, she delivered a mighty roundhouse to the ladder, sending it—and the poor worker—toppling backward straight into the ground.
"OW! Son of a- Mother f-!" The worker cursed while writhing in pain on the ground, not even able to muster any kind of glare at Nisa. "I'm hurt! I'm very much hurt!" He complained and kept on rolling about on the ground. "...Ugggh... I-I think something's broken..."
"A likely story!" Nisa scoffed, whipping out a pair of comically oversized handcuffs. "No true worker would conveniently be fixing lights at night! That's exactly what a saboteur would do to avoid suspicion!"
"It's called overtime, you lunatic—OW!" The man yelped as Nisa roughly yanked his arms behind his back and snapped the cuffs on.
"There! Now you're officially under arrest for… uh…" She paused, scratching her cheek before she thought of something. "Traffic-light treason! And also looking shady!"
"I HAVE A NAME TAG!"
"Forged documents!" Nisa declared, completely undeterred. She struck another pose. "Fear not, citizens! The law has prevailed! No need to thank me!"
"THANK YOU!?" The worker blurted in in complete bewilderment, which Nisa of course took the wrong way.
"You're welcome!" Nisa accepted, before leaping into the air on another lamp. "Now then, justice never waits! Tallyho!'''
And just like that, Nisa was gone... and the traffic lights were still very much broken.
"Oh please notice the lights not working, please notice the lights not working..." The worker pleaded and get met with car horns blaring and eventually crashing into each other. The sight made him cringe hard. "Well at least it can't get any worse..."
It did, in fact, get worse.
Not long after those two cars, the worker heard more car horns blaring and crashing into the previous two... followed by more... and some more... and some more. Even though it was barely less then five minutes since Nisa left, there was no a huge pile up of cars in the intersection. All the drivers groaning in pain with one person shouting 'my leg!' amongst all the chaos.
"...Take the late shift they said... nothing happens they said..."
Nisa soared through the night, her scarf billowing behind her like a cape as she scanned the streets for more evildoers. "Hmm… no criminals in sight! Guess my heroic presence scared them all off!" she mused, completely ignoring the distant sounds of car crashes and screaming behind her. ''So peaceful... Wait, what's this?!''
Her eyes locked onto another suspicious sight, one that made her audibly gasp.
An open window.
A wide open window, where she clearly saw a young couple enjoying dinner together.
"AHA! A clear sign of criminal negligence!" Nisa landed dramatically in front of the house. "An open window is just begging for burglars to waltz right in! As a heroine, I must demonstrate the dangers of such carelessness!"
Quickly, Nisa rummaged through her pockets and pulled out a black ski mask that she just... had, for some reason.
"Time for a public service announcement!"
Meanwhile inside, the couple was simply peacefully enjoying their dinner. 'How's the soup, honey?'
"It tastes delicious dear." The husband replied, eager to take another sip... when something else happened...
With a dramatic battle cry, Nisa launched herself through the open window—
"CRIMINAL ACTIVITY IN PROGRESS! HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE 'EM!"
—and promptly landed feet-first in the husband's soup bowl, sending broth splattering across the table. The wife shrieked as a stray noodle slapped against her cheek.
The husband stared at his now-empty bowl, then at the masked intruder currently posing heroically in his dinner plate.
"...What."
"THIS IS A ROBBERY!" Nisa announced in a terrible attempt at a deep voice, sounding more akin to a live-action bat man waving her arms dramatically. "GIVE ME ALL YOUR— uh— VALUABLES! LIKE... SILVERWARE! AND THAT NICE LOAF OF BREAD!"
The wife blinked. "...Are you robbing us... or judging our home decor?"
"SILENCE, CIVILIAN!" Nisa snatched a dinner roll off the table and shoved it into her vest pocket. "THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LEAVE WINDOWS OPEN! SEE HOW EASY IT WAS FOR ME, A TOTALLY REAL CRIMINAL, TO DO?! BOOOOOOO!"
"...A-Are... are we being pranked or?" The husband asked, looking around to see if there was another person recording hidden away somewhere.
"NO PRANKS! ONLY JUSTICE!" Nisa declared, grabbing an entire handful of silverware and stuffing it into her pockets with one hand while clutching the stolen bread loaf under her arm. The spoons jangled loudly as she dramatically pointed at the couple.
"LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU! SECURITY BEGINS AT HOME!" She nodded sagely, as if this were some profound wisdom and not a home invasion over dinner rolls.
The wife slowly turned to her husband. "...Is she lecturing us while robbing us?"
"EXACTLY!" Nisa cheered, completely missing the sarcasm. "NOW, I MUST MAKE MY DARING ESCAPE!"
With that, she spun toward the window—
—and immediately tripped over her own scarf, sending stolen silverware flying everywhere as she face-planted halfway out the window. Her legs kicked wildly in the air for a moment before gravity took over, and she tumbled unceremoniously into the bushes below.
THUD!
Silence.
The couple stared at the empty window frame for a long moment. Then, from outside, Nisa's muffled voice:
"I'M OKAY! ...MOSTLY!"
"...I told you we should've moved to Lastation." The husband grumbled.
''Well excuse me, I like to live in a place that isn't pure black and full of smog!''
"At least we won't have maniacs jumping through the windows and ruining a perfectly good dinner!"
''Come on, Iwas born in Planeptune. I'm loyal too my nation! And pudding!''
The husband just gave his wife a deadpan stare as he heard Nisa from out the window stub her foot into a garbage can. A loud crash was heard, followed by a cat mewling and her shouting 'Justice Kick!'
"... Even to all the nuts?"
''... At least the rent is cheap?
"I wonder why…''
Nisa limped away from the couple's house, rubbing her bruised nose but still grinning triumphantly. "Another successful public safety demonstration! Those citizens will definitely lock their windows now!"
As she turned the corner, though, her eyes locked onto a new suspicious sight:
A cabbage cart being pushed by a tired-looking merchant in all green, which could have only meant one thing._
Another potential crime in progress!
"HALT, CITIZEN!" Nisa zoomed in front of the cart, arms crossed. "Let me see your merchant's license!''
"O-Oh yes! Let me get that real quick." The man said and started rummaging around in all the pockets he could think of before he stopped abruptly, giving the wannabe hero a suspicious look. "Wait a second! Who even are you!? Show me your badge!"
''I am a hero of justice! You can't just hawk cabbages without proper documentation!" Nisa leaned in, narrowing her eyes. "Unless… you're an illegal cabbage smuggler!''
"ILLEGAL!?" The cabbage merchant gasped in the most over-dramatic tone ever. "I don't have to stand here and listen to a maniac spouting nonsense about my prized cabbages!"
"Manioc?! I'm a hero of justice, and I'm putting an end to these illegal cabbage dealings one and for all! Nisa declared, before she swung her foot high into the air.
"JUSTICE... CABBAGE... KIIIIIIIIICK!"
With that, Nisa brought her leg down directly on top of the cabbage cart. The wooden structure exploded into splinters, sending cabbages rocketing in every direction like green cannonballs.
"AAAAH!" The cabbage merchant screamed out in horror, dropping to his knees while her shouted in despair. "MY CABBAGES!"
"ANOTHER CRIME FOILED BY THE GREAT NISA!" she declared to the empty street, completely ignoring the sobbing merchant clutching the last intact cabbage to his chest. "PLANEPTUNE IS SAFE ONCE MORE!"
Before the merchant could even respond, Nisa jumped away and headed off, leaving him alone with his ruined products.
Move out of Ba Sing Se, they said. Gamindustri is much safer, they said…
While there was a cabbage merchant despairing over the complete loss of their inventory. A certain red haired wifey aficionado, at least that's what she liked to call herself anyway, was currently on cloud nine. With someone like RED, it was to no surprise that she was currently peeping in on a group of hot wet naked girls in one of Planeptune's bathhouses.
But it wasn't just ANY group of girls mind you... it was a group that was composed of Marvy and her ninja friends! Ladies RED deemed the sexiest around, and for good reason!
Their amazing curves~... their bountiful chests~... and their incredibly flawless and smooth skin~! What wasn't there to love?!
"Oh I've gone straight to wifey heaven~!" RED gushed, drooling like crazy while her dragon held a camera in it's mouth, capturing everything on video for her to enjoy later... behind a locked door... with a special wand. "Now if only that stupid manager didn't ban me! I could be having the time of my life there right now! Oh well... least I can enjoy this amazing sight~"
Inside the steamy bathhouse, MarvelousAQL rose from the hot spring waters with a luxurious stretch, her toned body and massive breasts glistening under the warm light. Water cascaded down her generous curves as she ran her fingers through her damp orange hair, sighing contentedly.
"Ahhh~ Nothing like a good soak after a long day of ninja training~" she purred, completely unaware of the drooling redhead currently nose-first against the window outside.
"You said it, Marvelous~..." RED thought while drooling, her breathing becoming so heavy she was actually fogging up the window, making her rub it clean to drool all over the free show she was getting. And of course to make sure the camera was getting everything.
"...Get this shot Draggy, I don't wanna miss even a second..." The perv whispered to her dragon, getting a nod in response which let the redhead free to go back to her peeping.
There were so many sexy ninja girls in the bath house, going about their usual business that you would in a bathhouse of course. However, RED's attention was locked squarely on MarvelousAQL, she just couldn't get enough of how sexy the shinobi looked! It only got even better when she started washing off her boobs, RED getting a nice eyeful of the two fleshy orbs jiggling about as she continued to wash off her body, her slender hands tracing along the sexy curves of her nude frame which drove the raging lesbian wild.
"...I SO need to make her my wifey no matter what~!" RED gushed, a familiar burning desire starting to well up in her groin.
RED was so engrossed in her drooling that she failed to notice a certain heroine walk up behind her... at least, until a loud "AHEM" echoed directly behind her.
RED froze mid-drool, her entire body going stiff. Slowly... very slowly... she turned her head to see—
"RED! I knew I sensed criminal activity in this area!" Nisa declared, pointing dramatically. "And what do I find? You, peeping on innocent unsuspecting women! That's a crime!"
"Shhhhhh! Keep it down or they'll notice!" RED urged with a finger at her lip before her silver eyes widened and she quickly changed course. "I-I mean, I got NO idea what you're talking about!"
"AHA! So you ADMIT it!" Nisa pointed at her. "As a heroine of justice, I cannot allow this perverted behavior to continue! You're coming with me to the Guild for proper punishment!"
"Keep it down or you're gonna ruin everything! Look, I'll let you join in WITH me, boys like that sorta thing don't they?" RED proposed where the two of them could've sworn they heard a record screech after the words left the redhead's mouth.
Nisa's face turned beet red as she clutched her (admittedly flat) chest in outrage. "I-I'M A GIRL, YOU PERVERT! AND HAVING A FLAT CHEST ISN'T BAD! IT'S... IT'S AERODYNAMIC!"
RED blinked, then leaned in way too close, squinting. "Huh. Coulda sworn you were one of those 'trap' characters."
"WHAAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Nisa screeched, her voice cracking. "T-THIS IS AN INSULT! AN AFFRONT! i WON'T STAND FOR THIS FROM A PERVERTED CRIMINAL!"
"I prefer to think of myself as a connoisseur of all things wifey related, thank you very much!" RED fiercely defended herself, any attempt to preserve her cover tossed out the window.
Suddenly, the bathhouse door slid open with a whoosh of steam, revealing MarvelousAQL in all her nude glory, water still dripping down her toned, luscious curves and her bountiful breasts. She leaned against the doorframe with an unamused look, completely unfazed by her lack of clothing.
"You two realize you're screaming right outside a bathhouse, right?" she said, arching a brow. "Some of us are trying to relax, so please quiet down."
"Ababababababa~" RED babbled from seeing the bare naked ninja right in front of her eyes. She made sure to start searing every second of this moment straight into her memory, especially how sexy Marvy's boobs looked so up close that the redhead was getting very very tempted to motorboat her right her and now.
Nisa, meanwhile, got instantly flushed and turned around. "P-Public nudity! Please put on a towel! T-That's a crime!''
"Relax. No one's gonna see me this late, except for the lucky lady right here." Her gaze turned to RED, turning amused and smirking knowingly. "Like what you see~?"
RED's mouth floundered, trying to form words but her brain was failing her hard. When she finally got a shred of coherent thought, she only ended up nodding her head in response like a total idiot to the sexy ninja's question. For a brief moment, RED wondered if she had to be dreaming for such a magnificent thing to be happening to her.
MarvelousAQL sauntered forward with that confirmation, water still glistening on her bare skin as she stopped just inches away from the trembling RED. With a sly smirk, she pressed a single finger against RED's chest, tracing a slow circle that made the redhead's breath hitch.
"You know~" Marvy purred, her voice dripping with amusement, "if you wanted to see me this badly, you could just ask to join next time. It can just be the two of us, all alone, totally naked~''
Just like that... RED's face outclassed her hair color with how atomic her blush became. Unlike with before, she was able to actually form words this time around in spite of how much disbelief she was in. "J-J-J-J-Just... th-th-th-the... t-t-two of us?! T-T-T-Totally... n-naked!?"
Marvy's smirk grew wider as she watched RED's entire body vibrate like a tuning fork from sheer gay panic. "Mmm~ That's right~" she murmured, leaning in so close that RED could feel her breath against her ear. "No people, no interruptions... just us~" You can look at my body all you want~"
RED's brain short-circuited completely. A thin trail of drool escaped the corner of her mouth as her eyes glazed over, her entire body trembling like a leaf in a hurricane.
"A-A-All... alone..." she repeated dumbly. "J-Just... you... and me..."
Marvy chuckled, clearly enjoying the effect she was having. "Mmm~ That's right~" She leaned in even closer, her lips brushing against RED's ear as she whispered, "And maybe... if you're very good... I'll let you touch~"
RED's knees buckled instantly, her entire body collapsing into a trembling heap on the ground. A high-pitched whine escaped her throat as her face burned hotter than Planeptune's core.
"T-T-T-Touch?!" she squeaked, her voice several octaves higher than normal.
Marvy smirked, thoroughly enjoying the show. "Mmm~ You're even cuter when you're flustered~"
Nisa was tuning them out by that point, since she had resorted to covering her ears while the two redheads flirted. "T-This is debauchery of the highest order!" She said, and she would have kept that up, if her eyes hadn't noticed a very, very familiar person grumbling on the sidewalk. "Wait...Is that..."
That grey skin, those pointy ears, the look of disposition as she lugged around a giant bag…
''Ugh, seriously, why do I have to do everyone's fucking grunt work…?'' She muttered to herself.
Nisa gasped. "UNDERLING!"
''Huh?'' Linda paused, and as soon as she turned around, her eyes widened in sheer terror. ''Oh fuck me! It's that flat-chested lunatic! I'm out!'' She said, before turning heel and running away.
"Get back here, criminal!" Nisa started to give chase, but she quickly turned around. "RED! Do you want to clear your life of crime?!"
"S-S-Soooo... wh-when are you available~?" RED asked Marvy, trying to regain some semblance of confidence but instead ended up coming off like a total virgin. Nisa not even registering on her radar.
"Good enough!" Nisa declared, as she impatiently grabbed RED's arm and started dragging her away.
"Wait wait wait wait wait!" RED grabbed onto a lamp post to make sure Marvy was still within view. "I-I-I'm available whenever!" Nisa ended up pulling her away but the redhead popped back out. "Send me a DM on Chirper!" The heroine pulled her away again, only for her to pop back up one final time. "MY USERNAME IS WIFEY4LIFEY!" The redhead frantically relayed before finally being pulled away for good.
"Go bag that bad guy for me, cutie~!" Marvy called back, before she eventually slid back into the bathhouse.
Before long, the duo ended up in the heart of Planeptune, though one of them was more preoccupied with other things, which was starting to annoy the so-called hero.
"Is flirting more important than justice for you?!" Nisa shouted at RED, who was still in lalaland thanks to Marvy. "That Underling is one of the worst offenders in Gamindustri and you're daydreaming about girls!"
"I got a date... I finally scored a date..." RED babbled with a dreamy expression plastered all over her face, she wasn't even running alongside Nisa. Rather the roller-skates beneath her shoes just let her glide along the smooth sidewalk... up until she ended up being slammed face first into a lamp post, finally bringing her back down to reality. "OW! Watch where you're dragging me!"
"Pay attention, you daydreaming-! Wait just a minute!" Nisa screeched to a stop, causing RED to faceplant into her back. "Look at this, RED! There's a dangerous criminal on the loose!"
The poster featured a crudely drawn figure with wild blue scribbles for hair, a red scarf, and a manic grin. The text beneath read:
WANTED: PLANEPTUNE MANIAC!
FOR: DESTRUCTION OF PUBLIC PROPERTY, ASSAULT, CABBAGE CRUELTY AND GENERAL MENACE-ERY
REWARD: 10,000 CREDITS (AND A FREE THERAPY SESSION)
"This villain must be stopped!" _Nisa declared, completely failing to recognize herself in the abstract potato-quality drawing. "Look at that sinister grin! Those evil eyes! This is clearly a mastermind of chaos! We must capture this fiend once we have our hands on Underling!"
RED just held her nose and looked at the flyer, then back at Nisa, complete and utter confusion written all over the, self proclaimed, wifey queen's face. "I'm pretty sure that's meant to be you." The redhead deadpanned, going back to carefully checking her nose.
Nisa squinted at the poster, then scoffed loudly. "As if! That's OBVIOUSLY a boy! Look at that sinister jawline!" _She pointed at what was essentially a scribbled oval. "And those evil eyebrows! That's nothing like me!"
RED blinked. "That's... literally just a squiggle."
"EXACTLY WHAT A CRIMINAL WOULD SAY TO THROW US OFF THE TRAIL!" Nisa bellowed, completely missing the irony. "But never fear! Once we capture Underling, we'll—"
Her heroic speech was interrupted by the sound of crashing garbage cans. Both turned to see Linda trying (and failing) to sneak away quietly.
"THERE SHE IS!" Nisa yelled, pointing dramatically. "AFTER HER, RED! SHE'S NO MATCH FOR THE BOTH OF US!"
''WHAAA! LEAVE ME ALONE! I HAVENT EVEN FUCKING DONE ANYTHING...TODAY!''
"Normally I'd ask you out on a date, but you showing up ruined the perfect opportunity with the best wifey I ever laid eyes on! So now you're gonna pay!" RED shouted, now running after her alongside Nisa, her yo-yo being taken out primed and ready to bonk the girl with.
Nisa whipped out her Prinny Gun with a dramatic flourish, the weapon glowing brilliantly as she took aim. "JUSTICE BULLETS, FIRE!"
PEW! PEW! PEW!
Bright energy blasts shot out—and proceeded to miss Linda completely.
They did hit something, but those things were a pair of buildings, various parked cars, and a newly repaired cabbage stand.
"MY CABBAGES!"
"...You're REALLY not never good with that thing, are you?" RED deadpanned at her, just in utter amazement that someone could miss that badly.
"S-She made me miss! Get back here, you fiend!"
Seeing Linda run into the Planeptune Grand Mall, Nisa didn't think twice about giving chase, or the sheer calamity she''d cause as she barreled through the mall like a bull in a china shop.
"JUSTICE COMING THROUGH!" she bellowed, shoulder-checking several people as she rushed towards the fleeing Underling.
The first casualty was a perfume kiosk, when Nisa tried to slide across the counter, and ended up sending dozens of expensive bottles shattering to the ground in a cloud of floral-scented doom.
The second casualty was the food court, where her attempts to run across the tables caused food and drinks to be flung around everywhere and hit the poor customers.
The third causality was, ironically, IF herself, wearing a casual black tank top and tight jeans, who had just been discreetly buying some clothes when Nisa sprinted past her, knocking the bag straight out of her hands and sprawling some... rather interesting pieces of skimpy red lingerie on the floor that were clearly Compa's size.
RED followed not long after Nisa did, frequently apologizing to all the people that were victims of Nisa's relentless pursuit of 'justice'. That lasted up until she caught up to IF and spotted the lingerie where she gave a quick little. "Oooo lalaaa~" Before continuing her own pursuit.
IF turned beet red and quickly scrambled to get the lingerie back into it's bag before she froze on the spot. A deep breath was taken by the brunette, closing her eyes and silently praying. "...Please tell me it's not her... please tell me it's not her..."
"Make way! Justice cannot be obstructed!" Nisa shouted from off in the distance, making IF's head hang down while depressed wisps floated over her head.
"Ugh... it's her."
''SOMEONE GET OFF THEIR ASS AND LOCK UP THIS CRAZY BITCH ALREADY!'' Linda desperately called out, out of breath by that point when she got out of the mall.
Nisa burst out of the mall's glass doors, her Prinny Sword now gleaming in her hands. "HAH! NOWHERE LEFT TO RUN, UNDERLING!" she declared.
Linda, panting heavily, clutched her bag tighter. "I-I was just delivering stuff for the CPUs, you crazy bitch! Leave me the hell alone!''
"LIES!" Nisa swung her sword in a dramatic arc—
SWOOSH!
—and cleanly sliced Linda's bag in half.
Though... what spilled out wasn't drugs, weapons, or anything remotely illegal.
Instead, dozens of pudding cups and robot parts clattered onto the pavement. At least, what was left of them, since the pudding was dripping right onto the parts.
"...Huh?"
''Oh come ON, it took me ages to find these!' Linda groaned, before she glared at Nisa. ''You're gonna pay for all this shit! It's bad enough I'm stuck doing stinking community service and being the CPUs damn delivery girl, but I ain't dealing with your crap too!'
"...Seriously... LIKE SERIOUSLY?! You dragged me away from my perfect chance of a date to chase someone who was just doing community service!? You are officially OFF my wifey candidate list!" RED shouted while stomping her foot.
"NISA!" IF shouted, running up to the trio, clutching the bag from earlier close to her chest. "WHAT IN THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"
Nisa seemed to visibly shrink when IF showed up, since she lost all of her confidence in one fell swoop. "I-I was, uhh... I-I thought she was doing a crime, so I wanted to stop her..."
''I was literally just walking down the street!''
""Y-You were doing it suspiciously...!" Nisa tried to defend herself, though the stares she got from all three of the girls made her shrink even more.
"That doesn't warrant rampaging through the freakin' mall! OR blasting through the glass windows!" IF pointed to the broken glass from Nisa's so called 'pursuit of justice'. "And PLEASE tell me that the so-called 'Masked Flat-Chested Maniac' that was reported jumping through a window WASN'T you."
"Oh and don't forgot the unlawful citizen's arrest, the huge traffic pile up she started from handcuffing the worker." A familiar mature sounding voice came from above, all of them looking up to see the CPU of Planeptune, Purple Heart, slowly descending down while she still listed off Nisa's other crimes. "And of course we can't forget about the reckless destruction of cabbage, now can we?"
''Welp, looks you're screwed flatty! HA!'' Linda stuck her tongue out at Nisa, happy she was on the other side for once.
Nisa's face went pale at the sight of the Goddess herself, and her glare made the hero of justice shrink further into her scarf. The normally boisterous heroine now looked like a scolded child, her fingers fidgeting nervously.
"I-I was just... trying to help..." she mumbled, sounding completely sheepish.
"And you did help... cause countless damage across Planeptune, including the ruthless destruction of not only my pudding cups but also the parts Nepgear was looking forward to getting." Purple Heart kept on listing off, grabbing Nisa by the back of her collar of her jacket. "We have QUITE the special place for people such as you~"
"Sounds like you got your hands full, dude. Which means I get to finally go on my date." RED smirked and tried to walk away... only to get grabbed by Purple Heart herself. "Hey! What gives?!"
"Oh you aren't off the hook either, you seemed to be helping her in her little crusade now weren't you?"
"Because SHE dragged me along!" RED tried to pin the blame... though Nisa ended up spilling the beans on WHY she even came along.
''You were the one who was spying on a group of unsuspecting naked women! You're not any better!" Nisa proclaimed, swinging wildly like a toddler. "I-I was just trying to dish out some honest justice! Have mercy!"
"Why of course!" Purple Heart cheerfully replied, actually giving Nisa a shred of hope.
"Really?!" The wannabe hero excitedly asked.
"No." Purple Heart flatly replied.
The next thing the both of them knew, they were now in a jail cell together. Red none too pleased about it, given how hard she was pouting with her arms crossed. She should've been back at the bathhouse on a dream date with Marvy! Not stuck in a cell with some nutjob.
"This is all your fault you know." RED blamed with a huff.
Nisa, sitting cross-legged on the cold jail floor, puffed out her cheeks in defiance. "At least I was actually trying to do some goods. You were distracted by some orange-haired bimbo with big tits! Big boobs are overrated anyway!''
"Oh you're calling her the bimbo?!" RED accused, offense clear in her tone. "Says the girl who chased someone for how many blocks without even asking them what they were up to first!"
"Justice doesn't ask questions! Justice acts! And besides—" She pointed an accusing finger at RED. "—you were peeping! That's a crime!"
"Was not! I was admiring the female form, totally different!" RED huffed her chest out, making it jiggle a bit.
"That doesn't change that you're in jail for it." Nisa retorted. "And I don't expect your so-called hot date to saunter in and bail you out for being creepy."
"Hey at least I GOT a hot date!... the only good thing to come out of this stupid night..." RED added the last part under her breath, having a pouty tone the whole time.
As the pair sat and pouted, the jail cell door suddenly swung open. Both of them perked their heads up, and both of them went wide eyed when IF came in with a certain kunoichi they were just talking about, now actually clothed but no less a total snack for RED's eyes with how much cleavage her shirt exposed.
"M-M-Marvy?!" RED exclaimed, absolutely dumbfounded. She even went as far as to rub her eyes just to make sure she wasn't dreaming. "You actually came for me!" She squealed and ran up to her, giving the ninja a big hug while not so subtly motorboating her incredibly soft and firm tits. "Shortness I thank you more then ever for this very moment~"
MarvelousAQL chuckled, patting RED's head as the redhead nuzzled deeper into her chest. "Well, we did have a date, after all~"
"Say what now? You're... actually going out with her?" IF asked the ninja with wide eyes. The brunette had more than been familiar with RED's antics with various ladies all across Gamindustri. The fact she actually managed to score a date with MarvelousAQL of all people left her feeling very surprised.
''What, are you surprised? She is really cute and charming~" Marvelous patted RED's head. "I couldn't resist."
RED poked her head out from between the magnificently soft pillows of flesh that was Marvelous's chest. "Glad my charms finally worked~" She giggled, going back to nuzzling the ninja's chest.
IF just sighed in half amused manner with a head shake. "Well, in any case. Keep her out of trouble from here on out, you got me?"
''Not a problem~" RED giggled. "Straight laced behavior from here on out~!"
"W-Wait, what about me?!" Nisa cried, and Marvy only offered her a look of pity.
"Ah, sorry. Lady Neptune isn't so willing to let you go, soooo... I hope you get out soon?"
"We'll be praying for you." RED chimed in.
"Let this be a little lesson for next time." IF told her as she shut the cell door again. "DON'T be a maniac."
"THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!" she bellowed, shaking the bars. "I AM A HERO OF JUSTICE! I DON'T DESERVE THIS INJUSTICE!"
Silence.
Not even an echo answered her.
At the end of it all, Nisa slumped to her knees, pouting as she pulled out a harmonica to sing away her blues.
"...Justice... is quite lonely..."